ryleigh ☆

The message sends, and I stare at the screen, waiting. I tell myself if he doesn’t answer in a minute, I’ll roll over and force myself to sleep.

But my phone buzzes almost immediately.

Matt: Yeah. Can’t sleep.

I bite my lip. My fingers twitch over the keyboard before I type out my next message.

Me: Wanna keep me company?

There’s a pause. Then..

Matt: Absolutely.

My stomach flips. I quickly smooth out my blanket, suddenly feeling nervous now that I’ve actually done it. I sit up, tucking my legs under me as I turn on my bedside lamp. My heart racing just a little faster when I hear the soft patter of footsteps down the hall.

My door opens slowly, and Matt steps inside, his hair slightly messy, his Fresh Love hoodie hanging loosely over his frame. His eyes meet mine in the dim light of my bedside lamp, and and I instantly feel the tension between us.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” he murmurs.

I shake my head. “Too much on my mind.”

He nods like he understands, then closes the door behind him. “Yeah” he says, his voice quieter now. “Me too.”

Matt crosses the room and hesitates for a second, then sits down at the edge of my bed next to me.

"Hope you don’t mind" he says, his voice softer now that we’re alone.

I shake my head, pulling my blanket over my lap. "Not at all."

For a moment, we sit in comfortable silence. The villa is eerily quiet without the others here, just the sound of crickets outside. I lean back against my pillows, hugging one to my chest as I glance over at Matt.

“So” he says eventually, shifting to get more comfortable. “What was keeping you up?”

I exhale a quiet laugh. "You, mostly."

His eyebrows lift in surprise, but a small smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. "Oh yeah?"

I roll my eyes, nudging his knee lightly with my foot. "Not in that way. My mind's just been running in circles. About earlier, about this trip.. about everything, really."

He nods, leaning back against the headboard beside me. His shoulder brushes mine, and it sends a small shiver through me.

"Yeah I get that.." he says, tilting his head back slightly. "My brain hasn’t shut up all night."

I turn to look at him. "About what?"

He pauses, his jaw tightening slightly, like he’s debating how much to say. Then he exhales. "Just.. things. Life. Us." He glances at me briefly before looking away again. "I meant what I said last night, you know."

I swallow. "About what?"

"About why I acted the way I did" he says, his voice quieter now. "I just- I've never been good at this.. At knowing what to do when I actually care about someone."

His words settle into my chest, warm and heavy. Yet, I don’t know what to say to that, so I look down at my hands. After a second, I feel his fingers graze against mine, barely there, like he’s testing the waters. I don’t pull away.

For a while, we just sit there. There’s something intimate about it, the talking, just existing together in the quiet. No pressure, no expectations. Just us.

I shift slightly, turning to face Matt more directly. His shoulder is still brushing mine, a constant, quiet warmth between us. I have questions I want answers to, and I feel like now is a perfect opportunity to get them.

"When did you realize you had feelings for me?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Matt's fingers twitch where they rest on the blanket, his eyes flickering away for a moment before settling back on mine. "Since I met you" he admits. "Two years ago."

That makes me pause. My brow lifts slightly, processing his words. Two years? My mind spins back to all the times he was distant and cold. The back and forth, the mixed signals. And yet, all this time..

"Two years?" I repeat, needing to hear it again.

He nods once, his lips pressing together like he’s bracing for my reaction.

I tilt my head slightly, studying him. "And how exactly did you deal with pushing those feelings down for that long?"

Matt lets out a quiet chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "Not well, apparently."

I scoff lightly, nudging him with my knee. "Clearly."

He sighs, shaking his head. "I don’t know. I told myself it was nothing. That it would go away. But then I’d see you with Nick or Chris, and how well you all got on.. I don't know, I’d get in my own head about it. I convinced myself there wasn’t space for me in your life like that, like I had an expectation to meet.."

I frown slightly, my heart slightly breaking at the thought. "Matt.."

He shrugs, offering me a small, almost sheepish smile. "It was easier to keep my distance than admit the feelings  I had. Or worse..get my hopes up."

His honesty knocks the air from my lungs. I stare at him, really taking in the weight of what he’s saying.

"That must’ve been exhausting" I say after a brief moment of silence.

Matt huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "You have no idea."

I chew on the inside of my cheek, trying to imagine what it must have been like for him. Watching, wanting, but never allowing himself to take that step.

"You didn’t have to do that.." I murmur. "Push it all down."

Matt looks at me hard. His blue eyes are softer than I’ve ever seen them, the usual guardedness nowhere to be found.

"Yeah" he says, voice low. "I know that now."

I smirk, tilting my head as I look at him. "So, it must’ve been absolute hell on earth for you when I moved in then, huh?"

Matt huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "You have no idea."

I shift slightly, pulling my knees up to my chest as I look at him. "You know.. when I moved in, that’s when you really started blowing hot and cold with me." I pause, searching his face. "It was confusing because you only ever been cold with me. Then it completely switched. One minute, you’d be normal, even nice, and then the next, you’d act like I barely existed."

Matt sighs, dragging a hand through his hair. "I know.. I'm sorry"

I shake my head. "I started catching feelings for you, but you-" I exhale sharply. "You could be so mean sometimes. It messed with my head."

Matt looks genuinely guilty, his jaw tightening. "I never meant to be.. I was an idiot."

I raise a teasing eyebrow. "Couldn’t have been that bad living with me, though. You were still capable of bringing that girl over."

His face falters for a second, and I can tell I caught him off guard. He shifts slightly, rubbing a hand over his jaw like he’s trying to figure out the best way to respond.

"That wasn’t-" He stops, exhales sharply, then looks at me. "That was me being stupid."

I fold my arms, leaning back against the pillows. "Oh? Do tell."

Matt groans, throwing his head back against the headboard. "You’re really gonna make me spell it out, aren’t you?"

I grin, shrugging. "You brought it on yourself."

He lets out a dramatic sigh, then looks at me, a little more serious now. "I thought if I forced myself to be around someone else, it would help. That maybe if I tried to move on, I could get you out of my system." He pauses, eyes flickering over my face. "It didn’t work."

Something in my chest tightens at his words, at the honesty in them. My teasing smirk softens slightly.

"So, what? You just gave up on the idea of us entirely?" I ask, my voice quieter now.

Matt shakes his head. "No" he says simply. "I just told myself you’d never see me that way."

I open my mouth, about to respond, but nothing comes out at first. Because what do you say to that? To someone who’s spent two years thinking they never had a chance with you?

Matt exhales, his fingers nervously picking at the hem of his hoodie. “Look, I know I messed up a lot with you. And I get why you’d think.. after everything, that I didn’t care.” He pauses, then glances at me. “But I haven’t been with anyone since that night in the house.”

I blink, caught off guard. “What?”

He nods, his expression serious. “Yeah. Not since then.”

I tilt my head, trying to process that. “Why?”

Matt lets out a breathy laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Because everything with us was already so up and down, Y/n. Hot and cold, like you said. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

I laughed lightly. “And yet, you still managed to.” I say teasingly.

“I know” he says, rubbing a hand down his face. “Trust me, I know.”

I watch him, my mind running back to all the moments I had questioned him, doubted what I felt, wondered if I was just some game to him. And yet, here he was, admitting that even in all the chaos, he had been just as stuck as I was.

The room is quiet, the only sound is our soft breaths. I watch Matt, his eyes fixed on mine, the weight of his words still settling between us.

“You really had me thinking you were heartless sometimes” I murmur softly.

He exhales, shaking his head slightly. “I never was. Not when it came to you.”

The tension between us is electric. The air thickens, and I feel my pulse quicken as Matt’s gaze drops briefly to my lips before flickering back to my eyes. I know that look. I’ve seen it before, but this time, it’s different.

Neither of us speaks. We don’t need to.

Then, almost instinctively, as if drawn together by some invisible force, we move at the same time. His hand finds my jaw, his thumb grazing my cheek as he leans in. My breath catches, my heart stuttering in anticipation.

And then, his lips are on mine.

The kiss is slow at first, like we’re both trying to savor the moment, to commit it to memory. But then something snaps, maybe it’s the tension that’s been building for months, maybe it’s the years of unspoken feelings, and suddenly, we’re pulling each other closer.

Matt deepens the kiss, his other hand sliding to my waist as I press against him, my fingers tangling in the fabric of his hoodie. There’s a hunger in the way he kisses me, like he’s making up for lost time, like he’s afraid to let go.

I don’t want to let go either.

His grip tightens, and I can feel his heart hammering against mine, matching my own erratic rhythm. We’re completely lost in each other.

I climbed onto his lap, straddling him as our lips continued to move together, the heat between us growing. Matt’s hands found their way to my back, holding me close as if he didn’t want to let go. The sensation of finally being so close to him, of feeling his heartbeat against mine, was overwhelming in the best possible way.

We pulled apart slightly and I looked into Matt's eyes, seeing the same mix of vulnerability and fear that mirrored my own feelings.

“Are you okay with this?” I asked, wanting to make sure that this was the right time.

"This feels right." He whispered, his voice barely above a breath.

I nodded with a soft smile. "It does."

Matt drags me into him again for another kiss and flips me over, now laying with my back against the mattress. His hands move to my hips, hooking his fingers around my fabric shorts before sliding them down.

“Fuck you’re not real” Matt says looking at me in awe. I blush at his words, and he comes back down for another kiss, his hands tracing up and down my body. I grab onto the sides of his hoodie and pull it over his head, wanting us to be as close together as possible.

I stared up at him with innocent eyes as he began to pull down his short and boxers in one go.

My face says it all when I see his dick.

“What?” Matt laughs.

“Nothing.. I.. didn’t say a word.” I say stunned, trying to play it off.

“You didn't have to use your words, your face said it all” He laughs while diving into my neck to lace it with kisses.

That is the biggest dick I’ve seen in my life. 

I get wetter as I replay the image of it in my head while he kisses me.

And I need it now.

“Please fuck me Matt, I need you now.” I whisper in his ear.

“Are you sure?” Matt whispered back.

I nodded as I spread my legs apart. Matt stood off the bed, while grabbing under my legs and dragging me toward the edge of the bed. He lined himself up with my entrance and looked up at me, our eyes meeting each other. Matt held that look as he pushed into me. My back arched as I broke our eye contact, opening my mouth from the feeling of Matt in me. 

“Oh my god” I cried.

He leaned over and gave me a smug smile before kissing me again, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I could barely kiss him back as I couldn’t stop myself from moaning. 

Matt thrusted into me slowly, allowing me to get used to his size. 

“Fuck your dick is s-so big in me Matt” I whimper as his hips knock back and forth into me, slowly picking up pace as time goes on.

“You’re so wet holy shit” Matt mutters as he continues to fuck me, his hands now holding on to mine.

“Y-you feel soo goood Matt” I whimpered, my body buckling with the multiple sensations I was feeling. “I dont know if I’m gonna last longer Matt oh my god”

I feel his right hand break loose from mine, as he moves his touch to my clit, I feel my core start to clench as he swirls his thumb in circles on my sensitive bud.

“Fuck Y/n you’re so pretty” Matt groans, shaking his head slightly like he can’t believe what he’s seeing right now. 

“Oh my god Matt I’m gonna cum! Faster please!” I whimper, clenching around his dick, Matt picks up his pace as I climax, my body shaking underneath him. 

“Shiiiit” Matt groans as he pulls out, stroking his dick so he can finish. Upon instinct, I sit up, and shift towards Matt, taking his dick in my mouth allowing him to finish there.

Matt gives me a curious look, almost to say he didn’t know I had that side to me.

“What? It saves the mess” I laugh to myself.

“That was really sexy” He says, still staring me down.

I plant a kiss on his lips before grabbing my shorts off the ground and taking myself to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

When I come back into my room, Matt is fully clothed again, dozing off in my bed but forces himself awake when he hears me return, pulling back the covers for me to get under.

I let out a small laugh, still slightly breathless from sex, as I climb into bed with him. I cuddle up to him, feeling extremely comfortable in the moment. “I really enjoyed that” Matt says softly. 

“So did I, I like being close to you” I respond, wanting to have a nice moment, but instead my stomach betrays me with a soft grumble. I groan, leaning my head against Matt’s shoulder.

“Oh someones hungry!” Matt laughs.

"Yeah honestly I kinda am.." I admit, my voice muffled against the fabric of his hoodie.

Matt chuckles, the sound low and warm. "We could go down to the strip, there's this place that sells pizza slices. Best late night food, trust me."

I roll my eyes, but I can’t fight the smile tugging at my lips. The idea of being out just the two of us, getting food in the middle of the night, feels.. fun. 

"Alright, let’s go" I say, pushing myself off the bed. "But if this pizza isn’t amazing, I’m holding it against you forever."

Matt stands up, putting his hoodie back on. "I like those odds" he grins. "Come on, let’s go get you fed."

We leave the villa and make our way onto the strip, the neon signs flickering against the dark sky. It’s late, but the place is only coming alive with music spills from bars, groups of people weaving through the sidewalks, and the scent of food lingering in the air.

Matt walks beside me, his hands tucked into the pockets of his hoodie, while I hug my arms around myself, still feeling the ghost of emotions from earlier. My heart is still racing, my lips still tingling.

The pizza place is tucked between a surf shop and a tattoo parlor, with a glowing red sign that simply says PIZZA. The scent of fresh dough and melted cheese pulls us in, and Matt heads straight to the counter like he’s been here a hundred times.

"Two pepperoni slices" he tells the guy behind the counter, then looks at me.

I shake my head, smiling.

Within minutes, we have our slices in hand, the cheese perfectly stringy and the crust crispy. We take a seat at one of the outdoor tables, the sounds of music from bars around us. I take a bite and groan.

"Okay, fine. This is amazing."

Matt smirks, watching me. "Told you."

We sit in comfortable silence for a moment, just enjoying the food and the atmosphere. Every so often, I catch Matt sneaking glances at me, like he’s still trying to process everything between us. I feel it too, what just happened between us has changed everything.

But right now, it’s just us, sharing pizza at midnight. And for once, that’s enough.

Matt leans back in his chair, finishing off the last bite of his pizza before wiping his hands on a napkin. He looks over at me, eyes flickering with something playful.

"You know" he starts, tilting his head toward the strip, "there's a place a couple doors down that does pretty good cocktails. We could grab one before heading back?"

I raise an eyebrow, smirking. "Oh? Are you trying to get me drunk, Matthew?"

He scoffs, shaking his head with a laugh. "Please. If I wanted to get you drunk, I’d have suggested shots."

I roll my eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at my lips. The night feels easy, like we’re existing in our own little world.

"Alright" I say, standing up and brushing the crumbs off my lap. "One drink."

Matt grins as he stands, tossing our napkins into the bin before leading me down the strip. The bar he was talking about is a small, open air place with string lights draped across the ceiling and a music blasting. A few people sit at the bar, laughing and sipping colorful drinks.

We slide onto two stools at the bar, and Matt waves over the bartender. "Two Mai Tais."

I glance at him, amused. "You decided for me?"

He shrugs. "You’ll like it. Trust me."

When the drinks arrive, they’re vibrant orange with a hint of red at the bottom, with pineapple slices and tiny umbrellas as decoration. I take a sip and hum in appreciation. "Okay, not bad."

Matt watches me, his fingers lazily stirring his straw through the drink. "Told you" he murmurs.

One drink might turn into two. And I don’t think I’d mind.

Just as I take another sip of my drink, I hear the unmistakable sound of voices calling out.

"No way! Look who it is!"

I freeze mid sip, my eyes widening as I recognize the voices immediately. Matt hears it too, his body tensing beside me as we slowly turn toward the sound.

a/n : i sacrificed my after work nap so i could finish this part and post it lol

Matt stares into my eyes, silence taking over before he kisses me again, deeper this time, like he’s been holding back for too long and can’t anymore. His hands tighten on my waist, pulling me in against him as his lips move against mine, urgent and hungry. I let myself fall into it completely, my fingers slipping into his hair, tugging just enough to draw a quiet groan from his throat. It sends a thrill through me, heat pooling in my stomach.

We’re breathless, tangled in each other, his lips trailing down to my jaw, then lower to my neck. I tilt my head instinctively, giving him more space, my body betraying just how badly I want this. Want him. His hands slide over my sides, warm and steady, like he’s memorizing the way I feel beneath his touch.

But then, just as suddenly as he pulled me in, he stops. His breath is heavy against my skin, his forehead pressed against mine, his grip on my waist loosening.

“Fuck” he mutters under his breath, eyes squeezed shut like he’s fighting himself.

I blink up at him, dazed, my lips still tingling from his. “Matt..?”

He exhales sharply and steps back, just enough to put space between us, though his hands linger on my waist like he doesn’t really want to let go.

“If this is ever gonna happen” he says, his voice rough, low, “I want us both to be completely sober.” His thumb brushes against my hip, his gaze locked on mine. “I don’t want to wonder if it’s just the alcohol talking.”

His words hit me harder than I expected. It’s not rejection, it’s something else entirely. A confession. A promise. He wants this, wants me, but he wants it to be real.

I swallow, trying to steady my breathing, trying to ignore the way my body is screaming at me to just pull him back in. Instead, I nod. “Okay.”

His lips twitch like he wants to smile but doesn’t trust himself to. “Yeah?”

“Yeah” I whisper.

For a moment, we just stand there, the air between us thick with everything left unsaid. Then, finally, Matt leans in, pressing one last lingering kiss to my forehead before stepping back completely.

“Get some sleep, Y/n” he murmurs, his voice softer now. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

And with that, he turns and walks out of my room, leaving me standing there, still breathless, still burning from his touch.

I wake up the next morning, naturally for once, feeling well rested and oddly light. There’s a spring in my step as I get up and make my way downstairs, the sounds of the villa already alive with the others talking and moving about. The moment I step into the kitchen, my eyes lock with Matt’s.

He flashes me a smile, it was small, but enough to send warmth rushing through me. Last night wasn’t just the alcohol, it wasn't something spur of the moment. It was real.

Nick’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “Mom and Dad are flying home later this evening” he says, stirring his iced coffee. “We’re gonna meet them before their flight.”

I grab a bowl and start slicing some fresh fruit, trying to ground myself in the simple task. Matt lingers by the counter, leaning against it, his fingers drumming lightly against the surface.

“We’re going to Maui Golf and Sports Park, you coming?” Nick added.

I glance up at Matt. “Sounds fun” I say, spearing a piece of mango with my fork. “I’ll eat first and let you guys know.”

Chris yawns, stretching as he leans against the counter. “At least now we can stop pretending we haven’t been drinking like fish when they’re not around.”

Nick snorts. “Speak for yourself. I’ve been a model son.”

Matt rolls his eyes, sipping his coffee. “Right. A model son who had us playing Twister drunk last night.”

At that, everyone chuckles, but my mind is still lingering on the fact that Matt hasn’t stopped looking at me, like he’s waiting for a moment to catch me alone. And, honestly, I hope he does.

The others take that as their cue to clear out, heading off to get ready. But Matt stays.

The silence between us isn’t awkward, but we both know it's simmering with feelings of last night. He shifts slightly, rubbing the back of his neck before finally saying, “I’d really like it if you came.”

His voice is softer, like he’s letting me in on something he hasn’t quite figured out how to say outright. My heart does a little flip at that.

I chew thoughtfully on my fruit, meeting his gaze. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” His lips twitch into that barely there smile again, the one that makes my stomach flutter. “It’d.. be nice.”

As soon as I agree, Matt’s face lights up, just slightly, but enough for me to notice. It’s not often I see him so openly pleased, and something about that sends warmth curling through me.

“Cool” he says, nodding before pushing off the counter. “I’m gonna go get ready then.”

I watch as he walks away, his posture a little lighter than usual, and I can’t help but let out a small breath, feeling a warmth settle in my chest. This thing between us still has a feeling of uncertainty, but moments like this make it feel real, like something is actually shifting.

Shaking my head at myself, I turn my focus back to finishing my fruit. The kitchen is quiet now, the only sound being the distant chatter from the others getting ready upstairs. I rinse my bowl in the sink then head to my room.

After showering, I slip into a casual playsuit, the light fabric perfect for the heat outside. I lace up my trainers, knowing we’ll be walking around all day, and make sure to put on a generous layer of SPF. The Hawaiian sun is no joke, and the last thing I need is to come back from this trip burnt to a crisp.

I take one last glance in the mirror, smoothing down my outfit and I step out of my room, I find the others already gathered near the front door, ready to head out. I can’t deny that I feel a little nervous to see their parents again, especially with my version of events of the first meeting them replaying in my head. But as soon as we arrive at Maui Golf and Sports Park, their mom greets me with the same warmth as before, immediately putting me at ease.

As we walk toward the entrance, she turns to me with a gentle smile. “Are you feeling better after the other day, sweetheart?”

I nod, feeling a little sheepish about the whole thing. “Yeah, I think it was just exhaustion mixed with the heat. I feel way better now.”

Before I can say anything else, Matt speaks up beside me. “She works hard” he says casually, his hands tucked into his pockets. “She was probably just worn out.”

I glanced at him, caught off guard by how easily he said it, ready to cover, as he should since he created the situation. But his mom gives me an understanding nod. “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re better. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself too, okay?”

I smile, appreciating the concern. “I will.”

With that, we head inside, the energy light and fun. The place is buzzing with families and groups of friends, everyone enjoying the mix of mini golf, bumper boats, and rock climbing. Chris and Nate immediately start talking about challenging each other at mini golf, while the boy’s dad jokes that he’s going to put us all to shame.

We make our way to the mini golf course, the five of us grabbing clubs while Nick opts to sit this one out, joining his mom at a shaded table and chair set near the course. “I think I’ll enjoy the commentary more than actually playing” he says with a smirk, getting a laugh from his mom.

I find myself next to Matt as we walk toward the first hole, he catches my eye and smirks. “You any good at this?”

I shrug. “Guess we’ll find out.”

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when I completely destroy you” he teases, his voice low enough that only I hear.

I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the grin that tugs at my lips. “We’ll see about that, Matthew.”

Chris is the first to step up, lining up his shot for the first hole, a simple one with a slight curve leading to the hole.. “Alright, watch and learn!” he says confidently, but the second his club makes contact with the ball, it ricochets off the side and falls off the course.

Matt immediately bursts out laughing. “Yeah, reaaaal smooth, Tiger Woods.”

Chris groans, dragging a hand down his face. “Whatever, kid. Let's see you do better.”

Matt takes his spot when Chris finishes, his grip on the club looking a little too practiced. He swings, and the ball glides smoothly along the trail, and with another hit it lands in the hole. He smirks, pleased with himself, then glances at me. “Your turn.”

I step up, trying to suppress my nerves. Mini golf shouldn’t be intimidating, but with Matt watching me like that, I suddenly feel like all the pressure in the world is on this one shot. I line it up, take a deep breath, and swing, only to watch the ball veer completely off course, bouncing against the barrier before stopping in the corner.

Chris snickers. “Damn, that was tragic.”

“Shut up” I mutter, feeling my face heat up. It took me four hits before I could get it in.

Nate steps up next, his turn taking three hits, not horrible, but not great. Finally, their dad takes his turn, making a clean shot that sinks the ball in one.

Chris throws his arms up. “Oh, come on! You’re not even trying!”

Their dad just chuckles, giving a humble shrug. “Been playing longer than you, kid.”

We move on to the next few holes, the game filled with laughter, groans of frustration, and competitive jabs between the brothers. Matt and I somehow end up neck and neck in points, which only fuels the rivalry between us.

At one point, I manage a perfect shot, sinking the ball in one go. Finally.

Matt shakes his head, stepping up for his turn. “Alright, let’s see if I can keep up with you.”

He lines up his shot, while I sit in anticipation. When he swings, the ball rolls smoothly toward the hole, but just barely misses, stopping right on the edge.

Chris bursts out laughing. “Ohhh, that’s gotta hurt.”

I smirk, looking at Matt. “Not so cocky now, are you?”

He exhales through his nose, shaking his head with a lopsided grin. “Alright, I’ll give you that one.”

The game continues and every now and then, I glance over at Nick and their mom, who seem to be thoroughly entertained just watching us.

By the time we reach the last hole, it’s clear their dad has won by a landslide, leaving the rest of us in varying degrees of defeat. But I don’t even care, I’m too busy enjoying the moment, how at ease I feel with everyone and the way Matt’s eyes keep lingering on me when he thinks I’m not looking.

Once we finish up with mini golf I decide to sit with Nick and his mom, while the rest of the boys decide to go rock climbing. I'm not one for heights so I saw that as my cue to sit out. I grab a drink from a kiosk next to us to try cool down and rejoin them again, falling into chatter.

Then out of nowhere, their mom starts an interesting conversation.

“I think Matt might have a little crush on you.”

My grip tightens around the cup slightly, but I force a light laugh, playing it off. “Oh?”

Nick’s eyes flicker over to me, sharp with curiosity. He’s been suspicious for days, but now, with his mom saying it out loud, I can feel the weight of his stare.

His mom nods, completely oblivious to the shift in energy between us. “Oh, absolutely. He’s been different since we got here,more engaged, more.. I don’t know, present? I’ve never seen him get so flustered around someone before.” She pauses to sip her drink, smiling knowingly. “It’s sweet.”

Nick shifts beside me, his knee nudging mine. “And what do you think about that?”

His question is careful, teasing, but there’s an underlying edge to it. I haven’t gotten to tell him anything yet but he knows something. Or at least, he suspects.

I clear my throat, swirling the ice in my cup. “I mean.. Matt’s great.” It’s not a lie. He is great. Complicated and frustrating, sure, but undeniably great.

Nick hums, unimpressed with my non answer. “Mhm. That’s all?”

I glance at him, catching the flicker of amusement in his eyes. He’s toying with me now, and he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

Before I can respond, his mom leans in conspiratorially. “I don’t mean to put you on the spot, honey, but if you like him too, don’t let him push you away. Matt has a tendency to self sabotage when it comes to things he cares about.”

Her words hit me harder than I expected. Because I know she’s right. The last few months were proof of that, Matt pushing and pulling, his feelings tangled up in his own fears.

I chew on the inside of my cheek, glancing over at the rock climbing wall where Matt is currently attempting a route with Chris and their dad. He looks focused, determined, but I can’t help but wonder if he knows we’re talking about him right now.

Nick finally breaks the silence, exhaling dramatically as he crosses his arms. “You know what? You two can figure it out.” He smirks, leaning back in his chair. “I’ll just sit back and enjoy the show.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t fight the smile tugging at my lips. Because despite everything, despite the confusion and hesitation. I know one thing for sure.

Something is happening between Matt and I. And sooner or later, I’ll have to figure out exactly what.

Shortly after, the four come back from rock climbing and it's time for their mom and dad to leave to get their bags for their flight home. They gather their things, we all walk toward the parking lot, where their ride is waiting. There are hugs and goodbyes, their mom squeezing me a little tighter than I expect as she tells me it was lovely to spend time together.

“Take care of each other” she says, ruffling Chris’s hair before giving Matt’s arm a squeeze.

“We will” Nick promises, giving them a dramatic salute.

We watch as their parents drive off, waving until the car disappears around the bend. But even with them gone, none of us feel quite ready to head back just yet. The sun is still high in the sky, and there’s a lingering buzz in the air from the afternoon.

“What now?” Nate asks, stretching his arms over his head.

Chris scans the park before his eyes light up. “Bumper boats? I mean we have spare clothes with us.”

“I never thought to bring a change of clothes.” I groan.

“Sounds like a you problem.” Chris grins, already leading the way.

I laugh, following along, the idea of messing around on the water suddenly feeling like the perfect way to wrap up the day.

When we get to the dock, we each climb into our own boats. The second I strap myself in, I already regret it. The boys look way too eager, and I can feel the anticipation crackling in the air.

“Try not to cry when I sink you” Nate teases, flashing me a wicked grin.

I scoff. “Bring it on.”

The moment the buzzer sounds, chaos erupts.

The boys are ruthless. spinning their boats at full speed, slamming into each other, and soaking anyone in their path. I do my best to steer clear of the worst of it, but I should’ve known better.

Matt locks eyes with me from across the water, and I barely have time to react before he slams his boat into mine, sending a wave of water splashing over me. I let out a loud squeal as the cold water soaks through my playsuit, clinging to my skin.

“Oh, you’re dead for that!” I shout, gripping the steering controls and attempting to retaliate.

Matt just smirks. “You looked a little too dry.”

I try to maneuver away, but then Chris and Nate gang up on me from either side, their boats trapping me in place. Before I can protest, they both turn their water blasters on me, drenching me completely.

I scream, laughing as I try to shield myself, but it’s no use. I can hear Nick cackling from the other side of the pool.

“You guys are assholes!” I yell through my laughter, pushing my wet hair back from my face.

“Yeah, yeah” Chris says, still aiming his water blaster at me.

“You’re all actual menaces” I huff, finally managing to steer myself away, though at this point, it doesn’t even matter. I’m soaked through.

By the time the ride ends, I step out of the boat feeling like a drowned rat. My shoes squelch against the dock as we all head toward the exit.

“You okay there?” Matt teases, walking beside me as I wring water from the ends of my hair.

“Oh, absolutely amazing” I mutter sarcastically.

He chuckles before slipping away for a second. When he returns, he’s holding a large towel from the park’s gift shop. Without a word, he wraps it around my shoulders, the warmth instantly helping against the cool breeze.

“Here” he says, meeting my eyes. “At least you won’t freeze in the Uber.”

I blink up at him, caught off guard by the small gesture. His hands linger at my shoulders for a second before he steps back.

“Thanks” I say softly, pulling the towel tighter around me.

He just flashes me a small smile. “Anytime.”

The boys all get changed before ordering an Uber. The ride back to the villa is quiet, the energy from the day catching up to everyone. Chris is half asleep against the window, Nate is scrolling through his phone, and Nick looks just about ready to pass out. I sit wrapped in the towel Matt bought me, still slightly damp but no longer shivering. Matt, seated next to me, glances over. “Still cold?” he asks, voice low so he doesn’t disturb the others.

I shake my head. “Not really. Just.. damp.” I sigh, tugging the towel tighter around me.

He smirks, clearly pleased with himself. “Guess I did a good job, then.”

I nudge him with my elbow, rolling my eyes, but I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my lips. “Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

When we finally get back, everyone trudges inside with the same plan in mind.

Naps.

Chris and Nate barely mutter a goodbye before heading straight for their rooms, and even Nick, who usually fights sleep with everything in him, rubs at his eyes and mumbles, “I’m setting an alarm, but if I don’t wake up, someone drag me out of bed.”

I linger in the living room, stretching my legs out on the couch, debating whether to shower now or wait a little longer. That’s when Matt appears beside me, standing with his hands in his pockets. “You’re really not tired?” he asks, tilting his head slightly.

I shrug. “I don’t know. I feel like I should be, but I’m kind of wired.”

He exhales, shifting on his feet before glancing toward the hallway where everyone else disappeared. “Yeah, same.” He pauses for a second, then looks back at me. “Wanna go for a walk?”

His question catches me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it, but I also don’t hate the idea. The villa is quiet now, the air still warm from the afternoon heat, and something about the thought of just walking, just the two of us, sounds.. nice.

“Yeah” I say, meeting his gaze. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Matt’s lips twitch into a small smirk before he motions toward the door. “Let’s go, then.”

And just like that, it’s just the two of us again.

The late afternoon sun hangs low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the beachfront as Matt and I make our way down the wooden pathway leading to the sand. Our footsteps fall in sync as Matt walks beside me, his hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts, his gaze shifting between the ocean and me like he’s debating something in his head.

For a while, neither of us speak. The silence between us is comfortable, a sharp contrast to how things were between us before, but there’s an undeniable tension lingering beneath the surface. 

I exhale softly, watching the waves roll in and out. “I haven’t had a proper beach day since I got here.”

Matt glances over at me, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “That’s kind of a crime, considering where we are.”

I laugh, nudging him lightly with my elbow. “I know, right? I’ve been meaning to, but.. I don’t know. I guess I’ve been distracted.”

His smirk falters slightly, and he looks away, his expression unreadable. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “I get that.”

A comfortable silence stretches between us again as we walk along the shoreline, the waves gliding on to the sand just inches away from our feet. I glance over at him, expecting to catch him looking at the waves or the sky, but instead, his eyes are on me. There’s something soft in the way he watches me, like he’s memorizing this moment.

“What?” I ask, smiling.

Matt shakes his head, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Nothing. Just enjoying the view.”

My cheeks warm, but before I can say anything, he pulls his phone out of his pocket. I think he’s about to check the time or reply to a message, but instead, he lifts it up and snaps a picture of me.

“Matttttt” I groan, reaching for his phone, but he quickly steps back, holding it out of my reach. “Did you seriously just take a picture of me?”

He grins, scrolling through his camera roll. “Maybe.”

I cross my arms, trying to appear annoyed, but the way he’s looking at me makes it impossible. “Let me see.”

He hesitates for a second before turning his phone toward me. It’s a candid shot - me, barefoot in the sand, the wind playing with my hair, the ocean behind me catching the last bits of sunlight. It’s.. actually kind of nice.

I glance up at him. “Why’d you take that?”

Matt shrugs, pocketing his phone again. “Just wanted to have the memory.” His voice is quieter now, a little more serious. “You looked happy.”

Something in my chest tightens. It’s such a simple thing, but the way he says it, like it actually means something to him, makes my heart trip over itself.

We continue walking and everything feels so.. easy. I steal a glance at Matt, who seems lost in thought, and the only thought I have right now is:

I want to kiss him.

The thought is sudden but undeniable. The way he’s been looking at me, it’s making it harder to ignore. I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing, if he feels this same pull between us.

But neither of us makes a move.

“I never asked” he finally says, his voice quieter than usual, like he’s treading carefully. “But.. what was the deal with you and Ethan? I know he’s an asshole but like..”

I don’t answer right away. I knew this question would come eventually, but I didn’t expect it now, not when things between Matt and me feel so delicate.

I let out a short, humorless laugh. “What wasn’t the deal with Ethan?”

Matt doesn’t push, doesn’t demand answers. He just walks beside me, waiting.

I exhale slowly. “It was one of those relationships that looked perfect from the outside. Everyone thought we were good together. Fuck, I thought we were good together.” I shake my head at the thought. “But being with him was like standing too close to the sun. Warm and comforting at first.. But then all of a sudden, you’re burning, and you don’t realize how much damage has been done until it’s too late.”

Matt stays quiet, but I can feel his eyes on me.

I keep going before I lose the courage. “I spent so much time convincing myself that I was happy. That the bad moments weren’t that bad. That maybe I was the problem. Ethan had this way of making me feel like I needed him, like I should be grateful that he wanted me. And when things were good, they were good. Sometimes so good that It’d make me forget how awful the bad moments were.” I pause, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “It’s embarrassing, really. Looking back, I can’t believe I let it go on for as long as I did.”

Matt’s jaw tightens. “It’s not embarrassing” he says, his voice steady but firm. “It’s not your fault. Guys like him know exactly what they’re doing.”

I finally look at him, and there’s something in his expression, something raw, something protective, that makes my throat tighten.

“He made me feel small” I admit, the words barely above a whisper. “But the worst part? I let him.”

Matt stops walking. When I turn to face him, he’s staring at me, his brows furrowed in that way he does when he’s deep in thought. He hesitates for only a second before reaching out, his fingers brushing against my wrist before gently taking my hand.

“You didn’t let him” he says. “You trusted him. That’s not the same thing.”

I feel my breath hitch slightly at how sure he sounds. My fingers instinctively curl around his, and I let myself hold on for a moment longer than I probably should.

We stand there in the sand, his hand is warm around mine, grounding me in a way I didn’t realize I needed.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to go that deep into this” I say after a minute, shaking my head like I can somehow push away the lingering weight in my chest. “It’s over. It’s been over.”

Matt doesn’t let go. “Yeah. But that kind of thing stays with you.”

I look up at him then, and there’s something unreadable in his eyes. 

“We should probably head back” he says, his voice quieter than before.

I nod, brushing some loose strands of hair from my face. “Yeah.”

The walk back to the villa is comfortable but tense, as if we’re both aware of something lingering in the space between us but too afraid to name it. When we reach the front door and step inside, we walk into a completely different atmosphere from the quiet one we left. Everyone’s awake now, buzzing with energy after their naps. The living room is filled with laughter and the sound of music playing from someone’s speaker.

Nick, Chris, and Nate are already making plans, talking over each other about where they’re going tonight.

“You guys coming?” Nick asks, glancing between Matt and me.

I let out a tired sigh, stretching my arms above my head. “Right now? No. I need a nap. I'm exhausted.”

Matt nods beside me, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, same. I’m dead.”

Chris smirks. “Old people behavior!”

“Ok coming from the one who is freshly awake from his nap” I mumble, already picturing how good my bed is going to feel.

“Well, if you change your minds, you know where to find us” Nate says, grabbing his drink off the counter.

“We might meet you later” Matt adds, though there’s no real promise in his voice.

They head off to get ready, and I turn toward my room, barely making it to my bed before collapsing onto it. As soon as my head hits the pillow, my body melts into the mattress, exhaustion taking over. The day had been long, but more than that, my mind had been running in circles since our walk.

Maybe when I wake up, I’ll have more clarity.

But, I know right now, I wish Matt was beside me.

a/n : OOOO WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE THE PLACE TO OURSELVES

The classroom is cold, the fluorescent lights shining down on the desks. At least they were the individual desks, not just one big table. I hated those. Personal space was hard to come by in school and the single table desks gave just the slightest bit more–and I need that right now. 

“Do you wanna partner up?” Shawn asks, tapping on my shoulder from behind me as the teacher's lecture comes to a halt. I really should be paying attention. But instead I was criticizing myself about the conversation I had on Friday night–even though my shower wall had an earful of everything I should’ve said all weekend. 

My eyes squint, my tongue running over the ridges of my teeth. “Are you serious?” I huff. 

Shawn shrugs, his face falling with confusion. 

“You got drunk on Friday–-after you promised to drive,”

“I still offered! You’re being so uptight, I only had a couple drinks. Geez,” he states. 

Rolling my eyes, I swivel back towards the front. I’d rather do the whole entire project alone than partner with him–not that it’d be much of a difference. Shawn wasn’t exactly the brightest. He didn’t care about grades, he only cared that he was able to play on the football team. 

“Okay, does everyone have a partner?” Mr. Ryes calls out. 

I bite into my lower lip, slowly lifting my hand. “Can I just do it alone-”

“Nope, no,” he rudely cuts off. “Does anyone else not have a partner?” 

My ears burn, my throat becoming tighter as I hear an eerie silence. 

“I don’t.” 

The unfamiliar voice makes my head turn. I vaguely see the guy on the other side of the classroom, his face seemingly familiar. He looks just like Chris. Well, close, but not exact. I guess all white guys look the same. 

“Perfect, you’ll be partners.” Mr. Ryes claps his hands together, shuffling papers as he looks towards the school clock hanging on the wall. “We have only a couple minutes left. Talk to your partners. There will not be class time to work on this project, plan accordingly.” 

Students shuffle around the room. I start to grab my stuff, preparing to move towards my partner. A pair of shoes coming into view makes me look up. He really looks like Chris. 

“I–uh, we can just stay here,” he says, scratching the back of his neck before settling his bag onto the floor, sliding into the desk next to me. 

“Um–okay, do you…” My hands clench tightly together. Maybe I should’ve just partnered with Shawn. 

“Here,” he holds his phone out, the keyboard popping up on a blank ‘create a contact’ screen. 

Quickly, I type my number in the bar, handing the device back to him. 

“I’m Matt by the way,” he says, shutting his phone off and placing it in his lap. His eyes are focused on the desk in front of him as he lets his fingers tap against the surface. 

“I’m Y/n.” 

The crease between my brows deepens. Matt’s nice. It’s refreshing, but odd. 

“Do you wanna get started today? You can come over or we can work at your place-”

“Is yours okay?” I ask, letting out a sigh of relief as he nods. Being at home was the last thing I wanted to do right now. My brother was visiting from community college–and Baylen wasn’t exactly happy whenever I came around. I didn’t understand why, but it’s always been like that. 

Backpack zippers echo in the room. I glance down at my phone. Class will be out any minute. My stomach twists in knots, the anxiety of the rush already settling in. 

“Do you want to just head to my place now? Well, after school,” he states. My nails pinch into my inner palm as people stand up, brushing past me. “I can drive you back here later if your car is here.” 

“Yeah, we can do that. And, I walk so no worries–” 

My body recoils at the sound of the bell. The slight sweat coating my hands makes me grimace as I slide my palms against the fabric of my jeans. 

The second I try to step forward, I feel a slight tug on my sweatshirt. I turn around, seeing Matt looking at me with wide eyes. “I–-I don’t really want to play bumper cars in the halls.” He lets out a breathy laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “Do you wanna just wait a minute and then we’ll go?”

Thank fuck. 

___

My heart stopped when Matt pulled up to his house—the same familiar fence I pet Trevor through just a couple days ago. Just my luck.

“I just need to clean up my room a little bit and then we can work in there,” he says. 

Matt unlocks the door, holding it open for me as I walk through. I hear the patter of light trots on the wooden floor. My eyes drift down, my lips curling as I crouch down, the wagging tail thumping against the wooden floor. 

“Hi, cutie!” I praise, laughing as Trevor nuzzles himself closer to me. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

Of course he had to be home. 

“Why are you in my house?” Chris asks, his arms folded across his chest as he glares down at me with squinted eyes.

Matt looks between the both of us. “We’re partners for a project…?” he remarks, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m gonna go clean up a bit, I’ll be back in a minute.” 

As Matt walks off, a wave of silence uncomfortably weighs down in the air. My eyes wander around the home, dust apparent on the few picture frames, pillows sloppily tossed on the couch with an unfolded blanket laid across the sofa. 

“I can’t believe this.” Chris huffs while rolling his eyes. 

“Trust me, I don’t like this either,” I mumble, returning my attention to Trevor. 

“Trevor.” The dog perks at the mention of his name, looking towards Chris. “C’mon. Let’s go,” he directs. 

A thump echoes as Trevor sprawls on the floor, laying down as if he had melted under my touch. My lips tighten as I try to hold back a laugh. I look up, biting on my lip as I see Chris’s face scrunch with distaste. 

Chris watches, unimpressed. “Trevor, come here.”

Trevor’s tail wags harder, but he doesn’t move.

Chris’s eyes narrow. “Trevor.”

Still, nothing.

I smirk, patting Trevor’s head. “Looks like he has better taste than you do.”

Chris’s jaw tenses. “You’re in my house, and my dog is ignoring me for you?”

“Maybe he just knows who the better person is.”

Chris lets out a sharp laugh. “Oh, please. The last time I saw you, you were wandering around at two in the morning like an idiot.”

“And yet, here I am. Completely fine. Thriving, even.”

Chris runs a hand through his hair, exhaling through his nose. “Trevor. Seriously.”

Trevor looks at him. Blinks. Then curls up in my lap.

Chris throws his hands up. “Unbelievable.”

I grin, settling comfortably on the floor. “You know, maybe he’s just paying you back for naming him Trevor.”

Chris narrows his eyes. “You’re so annoying.”

“Thank you.”

Chris remains standing, arms crossed tightly over his chest, watching me with a mix of frustration and something else I can’t quite place. His stare is unwavering, heated, like he’s trying to decide whether I am a genuine threat or just a nuisance he can’t shake.

I lean back on my hands, looking up at him smugly. “So. Should I get comfortable? Seems like I’m Trevor’s favorite now.”

Chris mutters something under his breath, his jaw clenching as he takes a step forward like he wants to snatch Trevor away—but the dog only nestles deeper into my lap.

Trevor lets out a soft sigh, completely content, and I swear I see a flicker of betrayal cross Chris’s face before he rolls his eyes dramatically.

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” he grumbles. “Trevor gets bored easily.”

I shrug, running my fingers through the dog’s fur. “Seems pretty happy to me.”

Chris lets out a humorless chuckle, running a hand over his face like he’s already exhausted by me. “You’re seriously the worst person to walk through that door.”

I grin. “And yet, here I am. Thriving.”

He lets out an exasperated groan before turning on his heel, muttering something about Matt being a traitor as he storms off.

Trevor stays put, his tail wagging lazily.

I scratch behind his ears, smiling to myself.

Poker Face

"Alright, Chris. You deal," you told the boy who was sitting on the wooden floor across from you as you stacked your poker chips. "Sure. I was thinking we could raise the stakes this time. You know, make it a little more fun," Chris suggested, a mischevious smirk starting in the corner of his mouth as he skillfully shuffled the cards.

"How much money are we talking?" You wondered, tipping your head to the side, intrigued to hear what he was going to suggest. "I was thinking something a little more high risk than money," Chris replied, his gaze flickering up at yours. He had your attention now. You gave him an inquisitive look, your eyes narrowing. "I'm listening."

"What about articles of clothing?" Chris asked, his voice thick with lust as his eyes flitted over the curves of you body, imagining what you looked like underneath all that restrictive fabric. "Are you suggesting a game of strip poker right now?" You wondered, returning his seductive gaze.

"So what if I am? Are you down?" Chris casually asked, straightening out the deck. "Sure. How are we playing?" You raised an eyebrow at him, intrigued by the idea. "Five card draw. One chip represents one item of clothing. First person to take off every item of clothing is the loser," he replied, looking you up and down.

"Yeah? What does the loser have to do?" You wondered, your imagination running wild with sinful thoughts about your best friend. "We'll figure it out along the way," Chris smirked, dealing you each a hand.

Once all five cards were facedown in front of you, you snuck a peak at them, keeping your face as straight as possible when you realized you were two cards away from four of a kind. You held your hand close to your chest, rearranging your cards to have your two tens next to each other.

Chris sat across from you with a shit-eating grin on his face, indicating to you that he must have been dealt a good hand. Fuck, you silently thought. Chris pushed a poker chip towards you, and you followed suit, moving a chip across the floor between the two of you.

You discarded three cards, and Chris discarded two, and then he dealt you each back the amount of cards you'd gotten rid of. A feeling of relief washed over you when you turned over your cards, realizing the ten of spades and ten of diamonds had appeared. You revealed your hand, placing your four tens out in front of you.

"Lose the hoodie," you gloated, a smug smile creeping into your expression. "You first," Chris smirked back, laying down his cards. Straight flush. You scoffed, giving the boy across from you an annoyed look. Chris' eyes followed your zipper as you started to remove your jacket. You lazily tossed it off to the side, and you both returned your cards to the deck.

You began to shuffle this time, dealing five cards to yourself and five to Chris. You each pushed a red and a black chip to the middle, eyes locked on one another before you both picked up your cards and examined them.

After a few rounds of exchanging the cards you didn't want for hopefully better ones, you and Chris both revealed your hands to one another. Chris rolled his eyes after glancing over at your cards that beat his by a landslide. He unzipped his cheetah print hoodie, groaning as he discarded it, and he began to shuffle the cards again.

The next round was much shorter, Chris being dealt a nearly perfect hand on the initial deal. Unlike you, Chris was unable to hide his satisfaction whenever he knew he was in the lead. It was something that annoyed you about him - his arrogance. But as he watched you slip out of your tight black t-shirt with that sly smirk plastered to his face, you found his arrogance kind of hot.

The two of you were onto the fourth round now, waiting to see who would be shedding their next layer. You shuffled the cards and dealt them. The whole time Chris' stare was locked onto your breasts that were perfectly on display in your red lace push up bra.

You each bet another article of clothing, slowly pushing your poker chips across the hardwood floor to the middle. The hand you were dealt was unlucky again, and you did your best to hold back an aggravated sigh as you exchanged four of your five cards, the second hand being just as unlucky. Chris smiled as he laid down his full house with a chuckle.

"Take off the bra," he ordered you, his eyes twinkling with lust. You had planned to take off your pants next, because for some reason, it felt less vulnerable to be sitting there in a bra and panties than being completely shirtless with jeans on, but there was something about the way that Chris said it that made you want to listen to him.

You dumbly nodded and reached around to unhook your bra. Chris bit down on his lip as he watched your bra fall to the floor. "Let's sweeten the pot a bit, shall we?" Chris murmured, staring at your bare breasts. "I'm listening," You replied, crossing your arms over your chest.

"What if the loser has to give the winner head?" Chris asked, wetting his pink lips as he shuffled the deck. "Chris, I'm already half naked," you said, widening your eyes at him. "So what? You could still win," he remarked in a seductive tone, sticking his tongue out and making a suggestive motion with it.

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't deny that you found the idea of either getting head from him or giving head to him kind of hot. You peered down at your hand after Chris had dealt them. One card away from a straight flush. "Fine," you replied, staring at Chris' long, slender fingers and wondering how they were going to feel inside of you once you won the game.

After betting your next item of clothing and exchanging your card for the one you'd been waiting for, you revealed your hand to Chris. "Ha!" You gloated. "Pffft. So you got lucky," Chris responded, tossing his cards back to the center as he pulled his shirt off his body. You had a pretty solid poker face when it came to card games but when your eyes scanned the shirtless man sitting across from you, you couldn't hide how badly you wanted him.

You shuffled the deck and dealt the cards. With a trembling hand, you pushed a poker chip to the center, betting your second to last item of clothing. You peered down at your cards, dropping your poker face once you saw the hand you were working with. A ten, jack, queen, king, and ace, all in various suits, but a high hand nonetheless.

"I'd like to raise you one article of clothing," you smugly told him, confidently pushing another poker chip to the center. "Fine," Chris said, trying his best to conceal his own smirk. "Get naked, Chris. I think it's about time you find another use for your mouth besides running it," you demanded, laying down your cards as your eyes flicked up at his.

Chris let out a mean chuckle, laying his cards down in front of him. Royal flush. All in the suit of spades. A shiver ran down your spine. "Fuck," you mumbled under your breath as your heart sank, still in utter disbelief that Chris had beat you when you had the second highest hand in poker.

"C'mon. A bet's a bet," Chris cooed, his hungry eyes dancing over your body, awaiting the moment you show him the rest of you. You slowly unbuttoned and unzipped your jeans, building anticipation. You lifted your hips and pulled your pants down until you were in nothing but your bright red panties that matched your lace bra.

Chris admired your body, his pupils dilating and blood rushing below his waist. You took a deep breath before you started sliding your underwear down your thighs, keeping your knees shut as you pulled them off. He raised his eyebrow at you and gave you a subtle look that told you that you knew what he wanted and he knew you were gonna give it to him.

You slowly parted your legs to bare your quivering pussy to him. "So pretty," he whispered, studying your glistening folds and your drooling hole. There was a jolt of excitement coursing through you at the way you were putting yourself on display for your best friend who had had only ever seen you like this in his imagination.

"C'mere," Chris responded, his eyes darkening as he motioned to you with his long, slender finger. You crawled across the hardwood floor over to him while his other hand found its way to his belt, the clanking of his metal buckle sounded as he smirked at you.

His cock sprung out of his boxers as he slowly pulled down his jeans, your eyed widening. You positioned yourself between his legs. He wrapped his fingers around his thick shaft and placed his other hand on the back of your head, guiding the tip of his cock towards your mouth.

"Open up," he said in a condescending tone as if you didn't know what to do next, but you secretly loved the way he spoke down to you. You slowly nodded and opened your mouth, inviting him in. Chris smiled down at you as he slapped it against your tongue, sending waves of pleasure through his cock.

You reached up and grabbed ahold of his staff, gently moving you hand back and forth. "Fuck," he moaned loudly as you buried the tip behind your lips, swirling your tongue around on it as precum began to bubble up at his slit. He began to sweep the stray strands of hair out of your face as you began to bob up and down on his length.

"That's it, sweet girl," the blue-eyed boy praised you as he screwed his eyes shut and tipped back his head. He tightly gripped ahold of a fistful of your hair, using it to guide your motions as you lightly gagged on him. "Oh, is it too much for you?" Chris purred in a sweet but patronizing voice with his gaze locked on yours.

Your eyes started to well with tears as he rammed the tip into the back of your throat, but your ego wouldn't let you fold. You couldn't bare the humiliation of having to stop because you couldn't handle it. You were determined to take it all however he wanted you to, so you shook your head.

"Good girl. You can take it," Chris encouraged you, running his fingers through your now messy hair as he yanked you around. You peered up at him through your blurry vision, taking in how divine he looked, pleasure and pure bliss inscribed in his expression as he stared down at you with his lustful eyes and his parted lips. His tongue darted out and wet them before he bit back another moan.

"You know what would make this even better?" He asked, pulling his cock from behind your lips as he peered down at you, desire burning him from the inside out. "Hmm?" You asked, eager to hear his idea. You liked all his other ideas he had so far tonight.

His suggestion led the two of you to his bedroom, and that's how you ended up lying completely naked on his bed with your head hanging off the side of the mattress as Chris stood over you, driving his cock even further down your throat than before.

You could feel all the blood rushing to your face as you held yourself in this position, your gagging becoming more intense as you drooled all over his cock. He reached for your sopping wet cunt, exploring your folds with his curious fingers and rubbing your clit.

"You're so wet," he whispered, starting to fuck your face at a rougher pace, watching the imprint of his cock sliding in and out of your throat with your exposed neck facing up at him. He slipped two of his digits into your hole, curling them as he fucked you with them. He placed him thumb on your clit and started massaging it in circles. He loved the way you writhed around beneath him, your body responding to every caress.

You slobbered all over his length, your whimpers stifled by his cock that was currently occupying your mouth. He tipped his head back again, savoring every moment of getting head from you. He snapped his hips forward, pistoning his rod into your mouth with even more vigor as you choked on him.

"Fuck. You take me so well," he breathlessly said, nearing the edge as he kept the rhythm of his body steady. Your legs started to tremble as he fingered you, hitting your gspot with every thrust. You came undone, your walls contracting around his digits as you let out a few final moans. Your lips vibrating against his length created a domino effect, his climax hitting shortly after yours.

His knees grew weak as he finished onto your tongue, his cock pulsing inside of your mouth. Your name and a slew of profanities poured from his pink, pouty lips as his thrusts slowed to a stop. "Fuck. You're so good at that," he complimented you, pulling his dick out from behind your lips with a subtle pop.

You'd always secretly wondered if Chris was rough in bed, what kinds of things he'd say to you in the throes of ecstasy, and how he would sound moaning your name. He'd wondered the same things about you, how much of his cock you could take while giving him head and what you'd sound like choking on it. It was nice for each of you to have your sick curiosity about your best friend satisfied.

You and Chris had successfully moved all your product in three days, a personal record for you with twelve kilos. The two of you stood in your living room, staring into the duffle bag full of cash sitting on your coffee table after the final sale.

"Holy shit, ma," Chris whispered, staring wide-eyed at the several stacks of hundreds before his gaze flicked up to you. "I know. It never gets old," you mumbled, picking up a stack of cash and holding it to your nose. You deeply inhaled, your eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. You were so infatuated with everything about money. It was almost like being reunited with an old lover every time you made it all back.

You couldn't deny that you wouldn't have been able to do it without Chris. He'd spent more hours with you, bagging up product and helping you move it than he'd spent sleeping the past three days. You admired his charming demeanor and his strong work ethic, you knew he could make you a lot of profit, and you wanted to keep him happy.

You started separating out the cash, putting your portion in one pile and Chris' in another. Once you'd finished divvying it up, you motioned towards the pile of money nearest Chris. "Here. Here's your cut."

"Ma.." Chris started to say. "What?" You asked without looking up at him. "You gave me half," Chris quietly answered, wondering if it was a mistake. "You do good work, Chris. I want to keep doing business with you. You deserve half," you told him, your gaze still fixed on the money in front or you.

"Oh, my god, ma!" Chris exclaimed, his face lighting up as he wrapped his arms around you. "I don't do shit like this often, so don't get used to it," you replied, not reciprocating his hug, but it was hard for you to conceal your grin with Chris beaming with excitement.

"Thank you, ma. I can't believe you already gave me a raise. We should go celebrate!" Chris declared. "And do what?" You inquired, giving him a perplexed look, worried that he was going to suggest a crowded place with loud music.

"I was thinking of something low-key. Let's go smoke a joint on the beach or something. I mean, you don't have to smoke, but the offer's open, and it is a special occasion," Chris rambled. You contemplated it for a moment. After all, why not celebrate? The two of you were making more money than you ever had in your life, and it was just the beginning. Plus, it was a chance to bond with your business partner.

"I'll get us home safe. Take the night off. Leave your gun at home," Chris said, looking into your eyes. "Chris, what if something bad happens? What if I need it?" You wondered with an urgency in your voice. "You've got me. If anyone messes with you, I'll protect you," Chris told you, taking a step closer to you and looking you in the eye.

The way he said it made you feel safe, like he really meant it. It was at that moment that you decided maybe you could trust him. Maybe you had to. Maybe you'd already let him in too much. After a few minutes of deliberation and a few more convincing words from Chris, you agreed. "Fine," you responded after taking a deep breath.

You weren't typically the spontaneous type, but there was something about Chris that brought out that side of you, and in some ways, you liked that. The two of you drove out to the beach, listening to Chris' favorite Arctic Monkeys album on the way there.

Tonight, you weren't a dealer. You weren't a hustler, and you weren't on guard. You were just a human being. Now, the two of you were side-by-side on the shore under a blanket of stars as the sound of the waves crashing echoed in your ears, enjoying the simple pleasures life had to offer.

You kicked off your shoes, feeling the sand beneath your feet. You hesitantly glanced down at the cherry and the smoke that slowly drifted into the air as Chris passed you the joint. "C'mon, ma. It'll be fun. Let loose for a bit," Chris urged you.

You didn't like to feel out of control. You knew getting high could be dangerous for you. You couldn't let your guard down. You couldn't let yourself slip up, admit your growing feelings for Chris, and possibly ruin your business relationship with him.

All the possibilities of all the bad things that could happen if you let yourself fully relax ran through your mind, and for a second, you thought, so what? "Fine," you sighed, taking it from him.

You held it up to your lips, the smoke stinging your lungs as you took a slow, long drag before exhaling with a cough. The dopamine flooded your system immediately, leaving you with a warm, fuzzy feeling. It was nice to have a night off from being a dealer and instead finding yourself on the other end as a consumer. It was nice to let go of the rigidity of your lifestyle and finally get to just be.

You took another puff, allowing yourself to sink into the sensation. You gave Chris back his weed. "How do you feel?" He wondered. "I feel high," you murmured, a smile spreading across your lips and your eyelids growing heavy. He grinned back at you, admiring how cute you looked in the moonlight, the light breeze gently catching your hair.

Chris pulled from the joint, inhaling smoke into his lungs. The two of you sat quietly for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company and listening to the soothing sound of the ocean's tide being pulled by the full moon that illuminated everything around you.

"Daisy broke up with me last night," Chris quietly chimed in, breaking the silence between you. "Oh, shit. Chris. I'm so sorry. What happened?" You replied in a soft, sympathetic voice. "What always happens, ma," Chris answered you, his gaze fixed on his ring that he was fiddling with.

"I didn't mean to make you tell her before you were ready," you leaned over and placed a reassuring hand on his back, feeling somewhat guilty for their relationship ending. "It's alright, ma. You were right. She was going to leave anyway. I should have told her sooner. It's for the best," Chris said in a solemn tone before taking another hit.

You didn't know what to say, and so you didn't say anything, fearing you'd make it worse if you opened your mouth in your current state of mind. You just sat next to him quietly, passing the joint back and forth, gently running your fingernails in a repetitive pattern up and down his back. He relaxed into your soothing touch.

"Ma, that feels so good," he said in a soft voice. A quiet whimper escaped his lips, and his eyes fluttered shut as you continued to caress him. You inched a bit closer to him and rested your head against his.

There was a small, sick part of him that was relieved. He could indulge in his late night fantasies about you and let his gaze linger on you without feeling guilty about it.

The two of you glanced up at each other simultaneously, and for a moment, the sexual tension between the two of you was undeniable. The look you each gave each other of burning desire didn't need words to be expressed and understood. A silent agreement was made.

Without thinking through what you were about to do, you just followed where temptation led you. You shifted, swinging your leg around Chris and straddling him. You stared deeply into his blue eyes, placing a hand on either side of his face as he sat quietly, gazing at you as his heart began to thrum in his chest. Your nose brushed against his as you leaned in, and the two of you each hesitated for a second, acknowledging that once you opened this door, it couldn't be closed.

You savored the moment before the kiss, the anticipation, and the way Chris' warm, shallow breath felt against your lips right before giving in. Not a single force on Earth could interfere with the magnetic pull, drawing the two of you together.

The kiss was tender at first, your soft lip grazing his, and it slowly grew deeper and more passionate as your tongue slipped into his mouth. Your trembling hands traveled to his chest as you stabilized yourself.

You could feel his hardening cock pressing against the front of your jeans, and you just couldn't help yourself. You found yourself rolling your hips forward and shifting your weight onto his lap, earning a sensual moan from Chris that vibrated against your lips.

You continued grinding against his bulge, and Chris' curious hands found their way to your waist, the half-smoked joint still wedged between two of his fingers. He guided your hips as you continued your movements, the added pressure feeling incredible every time his hard cock rubbed up against the seam of your jeans, stimulating your swollen clit.

You shuddered at the sensation, melting into the boy beneath you that you hadn't been able to keep your mind off of. You loved the feeling of kissing him, his pillow-soft lips, his velvet-like tongue, and the soft hums he elicited as you practically rode him with your clothes on.

"Can't resist me, can you, ma?" Chris rasped in a low voice as he pulled away from the kiss, reaching up to caress your cheek with his free hand. You firmly grabbed his wrist and started gently suckling on the tips of his fingers. "Oh, shit," he whispered, watching your mouth as you slid down to his knuckles, feeling the cool metal of his rings against your lips.

You could feel his cock jerk underneath you as you repeated this motion, alternating between a few of his long, slender digits, pressing your body weight against his dick. He loved every second of it. "Good girl," he quietly praised you as he imagined you sucking on something else. His words sent an electric surge straight to your clit, and you could feel the wetness between your legs that was likely seeping through your clothing by now.

Chris felt the heat from the joint as it widdled down towards the end of the paper, but he was too wrapped in you to care if it burned him. You brought your behavior to a stop, a wave of embarrassment overcoming you as you reflected on how impulsively you'd acted and how pathetic you probably looked humping Chris like a dog in heat after just a few puffs of weed.

"Fuck!" You exclaimed after pulling Chris' finger out from behind your lips and climbing off of his lap. "I don't know why I just did that," you muttered, completely humiiated as you retreated back to your spot in the sand. Chris stayed put for a moment, looking at you wide-eyed with his hard cock straining against his pants.

"Fuck, ma. I don't know why you stopped," Chris whispered, still processing what had just happened. "That was so inappropriate of me. I am so sorry," you mumbled with your face hiding in your hands.

"Why? Because I've been single for less than twenty-four hours or because you're kind of my boss?" Chris chuckled after taking a final hit of the joint and putting it out in the sand. You laughed with your embarrassed expression still buried in your palms.

"Either way, ma. I really liked it," Chris replied, nudging you in the arm as a smile spread across his lips. You picked your head up to finally look at him, face flushed and finding it rather hard to maintain eye contact. You wanted to kiss him again, but it felt like the moment had passed, and you were still embarrassed about how you'd thrown yourself at him.

Suddenly, you felt violently high, your heart beating in your ears and your head pounding. "I don't feel very good," you mumbled under your breath. "Here, give me your keys. Let's get you home," Chris said, springing into action once he recognized that you were most likely greening out.

He picked you up and carried you across the beach back to the car as you incoherently babbled about how sorry you were for crossing the line. He hushed you and assured you that you didn't have anything to apologize for.

He helped you into the car, and as soon as he got into the driver seat, you were softly snoring with your head resting against the window. Chris kept the music at a low volume and drove carefully as to not wake you. Once he pulled into your driveway, you began to stir. He reached over and caressed the back of your hand with his thumb.

"We're here, ma," he softly told you. "Here? Where?" You asked, still feeling heavily intoxicated. "Your house, ma," Chris giggled, shutting off the car and getting out so that he could help you into your place.

"Chris, that was so nice. You didn't have to take me home," you grumbled to him as he guided you through your front door. "You're right. I should have left you stoned on the beach by yourself," he laughed, knowing that of course he had to take you home, and just because he knew he had to, didn't mean that it was an inconvenience at all.

Chris carried you up your stairs and set you down softly on your bed. "Goodnight, ma. I hope you get some rest. I'm sorry for pressuring you into smoking," he said, shaking his head and feeling guilty for the state you were in.

"I chose to smoke, Chris. You couldn't pressure me into anything if you wanted to," you mumbled, slipping out of your jeans until you were in just a t-shirt and your underwear. Chris diverted his gaze as you started to undress, and he made his way towards your bedroom door to give you privacy.

"Where are you going?" You asked him as he started to close the door behind him. "I'll just walk to Dais -" he started to say, but then he remembered that walking to Daisy's wasn't an option anymore. "I'll just call an Uber, ma. Don't worry about me."

"Chris," you whined, reaching for him like a toddler asking to be picked up as you laid helplessly on your bed. "What is it, ma?" Chris asked, poking his head back into your bedroom. "What if you stayed the night here?" You wondered. "I mean, yeah, sure. If you're offering. I wouldn't mind crashing on your couch. It would save me a trip," he responded.

"No. I want you to sleep right here," you mumbled, patting the empty side of the bed beside you with a playful smile on your face. Chris raised an eyebrow, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lip. He could already tell what you were about to say next based on your body language.

"Please, Chris. I want you to fuck me," you begged him, biting your lip. "Ma, you're really messed up. I can't take advantage of that," Chris responded, taking a seat beside you on your bed and choosing his words carefully because he didn't want you to think he was uninterested. He just didn't want your first time to happen under these circumstances.

"Please. I need you," you replied, your voice saturated with lust as you started to take off your panties. "Woah! Hey," Chris exclaimed, stopping you from slipping them off. "Not like this, ma. If you still want to when you're sober, we can, but not when you can barely stand on your own. I'll lay in bed with you if all we're doing is sleeping."

"Okay. We can just sleep. I just want you here next to me," you whined, clutching your pillow in your arms and pulling it into your chest. "Alright, ma. But no funny business. Let's get you some pants," Chris replied, picking up a pair of sweatpants off of your floor and tossing them to you.

You slipped them on and curled up under your blanket. Chris crawled into bed beside you after shutting off your light. He pulled you close and kissed you on the forehead. "Night, ma," Chris whispered before closing his eyes. A few minutes later, he heard the sound of your soft snoring as you drifted off to sleep beside him.

When he was certain you were out, he slipped out of your sheets, snuck downstairs, and made his way out the door. As he waited out front for his uber, lighting up a joint, he smiled to himself, reflecting on the night and how boldly you'd climbed onto his lap and started making out with him.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

The next morning, sunlight filtered through your blinds, casting a warm glow over your room. You blinked slowly, your body still heavy with sleep, your mind groggy from the events of the night before.

Nothing really happened.

Chris had followed you upstairs like he owned the place, stripped down to his boxers, and crawled into bed beside you like it was normal. And despite everything -despite all the fighting, the manipulation, the pure toxicity- you had let him.

You had let him wrap an arm around your waist, let him press his body against yours, let him bury his face in the crook of your neck while you lay there, wide awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to ignore how right it felt.

You had let him win.

But that was last night. And now-

You shifted slightly, your body stiff from sleeping in the same position for hours. Chris’s arm was still draped over your chest, his grip lazy but there, like even in sleep, he needed to hold onto you.

You carefully peeled his hand off of you, shifting out from under him. He grumbled something in his sleep but didn’t wake, his fingers twitching slightly before curling back into the sheets.

You exhaled, rubbing your face as you slid out of bed, grabbed a hoodie from your chair, and tiptoed out of your room.

You walked downstairs, still feeling the weight of last night pressing into your chest. Your limbs felt heavy, your mind clouded with exhaustion, confusion, and the lingering presence of Chris still in your bed upstairs.

As soon as you stepped into the kitchen, Ava’s eyes flicked up to you. She didn’t say anything at first- just looked at you, scanning your face, your posture, like she was reading you.

Then, she turned to Matt, who was leaning against the counter, sipping from a coffee mug like it was just another normal morning.

“Go upstairs,” she said, her voice calm but firm.

Matt raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. “You sure?”

“Go,” Ava repeated, not taking her eyes off you.

Matt exhaled, running a hand through his hair before setting his coffee down and heading toward the stairs. He didn’t argue, didn’t press, just gave you a knowing look before disappearing upstairs.

The second he was gone, Ava crossed her arms, her expression unreadable.

“So,” she said, tilting her head slightly. “You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?”

You sighed, rubbing a hand down your face as you leaned against the counter, trying to gather your thoughts. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Ava’s expression didn’t change. She just raised an eyebrow, arms crossed tightly over her chest. “Really?” she said flatly. “Because it seems like it’s worse behind closed doors, judging by the fact that you think yesterday was tame.”

Your stomach twisted, but you forced yourself to stay calm. “Ava, come on. It wasn’t-”

“Wasn’t what, Y/N?” she snapped, taking a step closer. “Wasn’t insane? Wasn’t toxic as fuck? Wasn’t one of the worst things I’ve ever fucking witnessed? And I’m just gonna pretend like I didn’t see the bandage on his knuckles and pretend it’s not exactly what I think it is.”

“No. It’s not. I promise.” You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. “It wasn’t like that.”

Ava scoffed, shaking her head right back at you. “It wasn’t like that?” she repeated, her voice laced with disbelief. “So, what, I just imagined Chris dragging you out of the fucking apartment and pulling out of the lot like a fucking lunatic? And let me guess, I hallucinated the fact that you chose him over Matt when he grabbed you last night?”

You clenched your jaw. “I didn’t choose him.”

“You did, Y/N,” Ava said, her voice sharper now, her hands gesturing wildly. “You fucking did. He had his hands on you, and Matt hit him, and you- ” She let out a dry, humorless laugh, shaking her head. “You ran to Chris.”

You swallowed hard, your chest aching under the weight of her words. “I was shocked-”

“No, you weren’t,” Ava cut in, her voice almost pained now. “You were conditioned.”

Your breath hitched. “That’s not-”

“That’s exactly what it is,” she snapped. “You’re standing here, right now, trying to fucking justify him, trying to explain him. And you don’t even realize how fucked up that is.”

“I’m not justifying him,” you shot back, your voice rising. “I’m just trying to explain-”

“Explain what?!” Ava yelled, throwing her arms up. “That he has some redeeming qualities? That you see something in him? That maybe he’s just damaged or complicated or not as bad as people think?”

You blinked at her, your throat closing up.

She shook her head, taking another step forward. “Because I don’t give a fuck, Y/N. I don’t care what version of him you think you see. I don’t care what he was in high school or what he says when you’re alone. I don’t care how good he makes you feel sometimes-”

You flinched.

Ava caught it.

Her lips pressed into a thin line. “Because that’s what he’s doing, right?” she said, her voice quieter now, almost dangerous. “He gets you high, and then he rips you apart. And you just keep coming back.”

You turned your face away, your stomach twisting violently.

Ava exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair. “I love you, Y/N,” she said, her voice raw. “But I’m not gonna stand here and watch you let that piece of shit sink his claws into you.”

Your hands clenched at your sides, your nails digging into your palms. “You don’t understand-”

“I understand perfectly,” Ava said, cutting you off again. “I understand that he knows exactly what he’s doing. I understand that he’s testing you, breaking you down so he can build you back up the way he wants.”

Your stomach churned, your chest feeling tight, suffocating.

Ava stepped back, exhaling as she looked at you, her face unreadable now. “And as much as it sucks, I understand that you’re gonna have to figure that out for yourself.”

You blinked, your throat tightening as she turned away from you, her jaw set, her body tense.

You took a deep breath, your chest still tight from the weight of her words, from the truth she was throwing at you like knives. But you couldn’t let this spiral out of control. You had to make her understand- at least a little.

“Ava,” you said, your voice softer now, less defensive. “This is just how we are.”

Ava scoffed, shaking her head. “That’s not how you were in high school.”

“Exactly.” You took a step closer, trying to find the right words. “We’re not in high school anymore. Things are different now. We’re different now.”

Ava’s jaw clenched, her arms still crossed tight over her chest.

“This is just… how it’s been the past couple of months,” you continued, carefully, making sure your tone didn’t waver. “And I promise you- it’s not as bad as it looks. I swear to you. We just… are like this.”

Ava’s eyes narrowed, but you could tell she was listening.

You swallowed hard, pressing your luck. “He’s still hurt about what I did in high school.”

At that, Ava’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my God,” she said, exasperated. “There’s no way he’s still caught up on that.”

You bit your lip, shifting under her stare. “I mean… it’s not crazy, right? I just left, Ava. I didn’t even say goodbye. I can’t blame him for holding onto it.”

Ava ran a hand through her hair, letting out a deep, exhausted sigh. “I love Chris,” she said, her voice firm. “He’s my boyfriend’s brother, and if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have met Matt. But Y/N-”

She turned to face you fully, her expression serious.

“If you ever, even for a second, hesitate to say something to him or do something because you’re scared of how he’ll react-” she took a deep breath, her eyes locking onto yours, “-that’s abuse. That’s manipulation.”

Your stomach flipped.

Ava stepped closer, lowering her voice slightly. “And I know because I grew up with it. My parents were the same way. The push and pull. The highs and lows. The feeling like you can’t leave because this time he means it. This time he’s gonna change.”

Your throat felt like it was closing.

“That’s how I recognized it so fast,” she murmured, her gaze searching yours. “Because I’ve seen it before. And it fucking terrifies me to see that in you and him.”

You clenched your jaw, your body screaming at you to say something, to argue, to deny it-

But you couldn’t. Because, for the first time, you weren’t sure if she was wrong.

Ava exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair before glancing toward the stairs. “I’m gonna talk to Chris.”

Your stomach tightened. “Ava-”

“Not threatening,” she cut in, already walking toward the steps. “Just talking.” She turned back to you, her eyes steady. “Is he up in your room?”

You swallowed hard, nodding. “Yeah.”

Ava didn’t say anything else. She just turned and made her way upstairs, her footsteps disappearing into the hallway as Matt descended down the stairs and sat next you to, throwing on a random show.

About an hour later, you were still sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the TV, your mind too cluttered to focus on whatever was playing.

Then, the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs pulled you from your daze. Ava emerged from the hallway, her expression unreadable as she walked into the kitchen. She didn’t even look at you at first- just grabbed a glass, filled it with water, and took a slow sip before turning to Matt.

“Take him home,” she said simply, her voice steady, firm.

Matt sighed, running a hand through his hair before standing. “You sure?”

Ava shot him a look, her jaw set. “Yes.”

Matt didn’t argue. He just nodded, stretching his arms before heading upstairs. You could hear some muffled conversation- Matt probably waking Chris up, telling him to get his ass up- but you didn’t move. You just sat there, your fingers tangled in the fabric of your hoodie, waiting.

Eventually, the front door opened, then closed, and the apartment fell silent.

You exhaled sharply, rubbing your hands over your face before looking at Ava. “What did you say to him?”

Ava didn’t answer right away. She just leaned against the counter, arms crossed, looking at you like she was thinking about it. Then, finally, she sighed.

“I told him he needs to stop.”

You swallowed hard. “And?”

“And,” she continued, her voice a little sharper now, “that I know the kind of people both of you are. And yeah, you love each other, and yeah, you hurt each other, but if you do love each other, you need to figure out how to work through that shit. Together. Because if either of you think for one second that I’m gonna sit back and watch you two kill each other the way you’re going right now?” She shook her head, her eyes dark. “You’re fucking wrong. I will make sure you two crash and burn from my wrath before you do it to each other.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the sheer weight of her words.

She exhaled sharply, rubbing her temple. “I told him he’s better than this. That he knows you didn’t mean it like that when you left in high school. And I told him that if he ever- ” she paused, looking at you carefully, “-if he ever puts his hands on you again like that, I will make sure he regrets it.”

Your throat tightened, something heavy settling in your chest. You weren’t sure what you had expected her to say, but this- this was different. She wasn’t just mad at Chris. She was disappointed. She was looking at the both of you and seeing what you refused to.

You swallowed, your voice barely above a whisper. “What did he say?”

Ava’s lips pressed into a tight line. “He didn’t say shit. Just sat there and listened.”

You frowned, shifting slightly. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” she confirmed. “Because for once in his fucking life, he needed to hear it.”

Your head fell back against the couch, your mind racing.

Chris had listened.

Not argued. Not fought back.

He had listened.

And that? That scared you more than anything.

Ava cleared her throat and got more comfortable on the couch next to you, exhaling dramatically as she stretched her legs out and moved on to the next topic of conversation. “Okay, so you know how the boys have been blowing up on YouTube lately?” she said, shaking her head. “Like, they’re already at 40k followers, and I’ve gained, like, 5,000 followers in the past week and a half just from being tagged in their shit.”

You sighed, rubbing your temple. “Yeah, it’s overwhelming. Crazy, honestly. They’re actually getting famous.”

“I know,” Ava said, wide-eyed. “And at first, I was like, ‘oh, cute, Matt and the boys are getting attention, whatever.’” She sat up straighter, looking at you seriously. “But then, earlier today, Matt and I were going through his Instagram reels, just scrolling, and a notification popped up- a DM request.”

Your stomach dropped. “Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, scoffing. “It was from some random bitch saying, and I quote, ‘Hey baby, saw you and wanted a taste of that. Why don’t you pull up and get some?’”

Your mouth fell open. “You’re fucking lying.”

“I wish I was,” Ava groaned, running a hand through her hair. “I looked at him like, ‘who the fuck is that?’ and you know what Matt said?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Lemme guess- ‘I don’t know.’”

Ava pointed at you. “Exactly!” She threw her hands up. “And of course, I freaked out-”

You smirked, cutting her off. “Oh yeah, I’m sure you handled that super well.”

“Oh, amazing,” Ava said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “And obviously, I unlocked his phone right then and there, and I went through all his DMs.”

You snorted. “Of course you did.”

“And let me tell you, Y/N,” she said, leaning in. “There were so many bitches. So many desperate, thirsty, slutty whores in his messages just dying for a chance to breathe the same air as him. It was sickening.”

You let out a low whistle. “Damn.”

“I know Matt’s heart is mine,” Ava continued, her eyes narrowing. “I know he wouldn’t even turn his head for one of those HOOKERS, but still. It makes me so fucking mad seeing other people thirsting over what isn’t theirs. Like, am I crazy for that?”

You shook your head. “Not at all.”

She sighed, crossing her arms. “Good, because I was starting to feel insane. Like, am I delusional for getting mad over something that isn’t even his fault?”

“No, because I literally just went through something similar,” you admitted, shifting on the couch. “Me and Chris were driving the other day-”

Ava’s head snapped toward you so fast you thought she’d give herself whiplash. “The other day?” she repeated, her voice flat. “As in yesterday?”

You hesitated. “…Yeah.”

She scoffed, her jaw tightening, but she just cleared her throat and motioned for you to continue.

“Anyway,” you said, shifting uncomfortably, “we were driving, and I went on his phone -actually, to block your location for you, ironically enough- and I saw the amount of whores in his comments, DMs, and messages, and it was fucking sickening.”

Ava exhaled sharply. “I bet.”

“No, like, you don’t understand,” you said, shaking your head. “And you know what the worst part was?”

Ava narrowed her eyes, leaning in slightly. “Oh God, I can’t even imagine- but knowing him now?” She paused, letting out a small laugh. “Actually, I can.”

“Yeah, well, whatever you’re thinking, multiply it by ten,” you muttered. “He was sending the most rancid, vulgar, disgusting messages and pictures and voice memos- just entertaining these women, fully indulging them. And half of them were fans.”

Ava’s mouth dropped open. “That is so fucking sick.”

“Right?” you said, throwing your hands up. “And you know what pisses me off the most?”

Ava raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“The fact that he literally dragged me out of a fucking party just because I kissed another guy and he thinks it’s ok to act like that… like what?”

Ava let out the loudest scoff. “EXACTLY!” She gestured wildly, her expression pure disbelief. “So he gets to act like your body is his property but he’s out here entertaining every single bitch who throws herself at him? The audacity!”

You flailed your arms, your frustration boiling over. “WHAT GIVES HIM THE RIGHT?!”

“He’s a man,” Ava deadpanned. “And he’s a whore.”

You let out a frustrated groan, falling back against the couch. “It’s so fucking unfair.”

Ava nodded, pursing her lips. “It’s disgusting. He’s disgusting. But, like, also… what kind of girls are we talking about? Are they even cute?”

You scoffed. “No, that’s the craziest part! Like, it’s not even like they’re hot! It’s just thirsty, desperate, ugly bitches trying so hard.”

Ava laughed, shaking her head. “Oh my God, that makes it even worse.”

“I know!” you groaned. “Like, at least if I’m getting cheated on, let it be by someone who makes sense!”

Ava rolled her eyes. “He’s so fucking typical. Like, of course, he’s the kind of guy to let his ego get stroked by some nobodies in his DMs. They’re probably like, ‘oh my God, Chris, I love your videos, please step on me,’ and he’s eating that shit up.”

You let out a laugh, despite yourself. “Exactly!”

Ava leaned back, sipping from her water bottle. “You need to start cheating back.”

You snorted. “I literally haven’t even been dating him. We just like sleep together, I guess.”

Ava’s eyes lit up. “Sex. Details. Now.”

Later that night you were curled up on the couch with Ava and Matt, a casual movie playing in the background while the three of you sipped on drinks. It was one of those rare, normal nights- one where things felt easy, where you weren’t caught up in the constant whirlwind that had become your life with Chris.

That was, until your phone buzzed in your lap.

You glanced down and saw his name on your screen.

chris: wyd baby

You stared at it for a second, your stomach doing something- whether it was irritation or excitement, you weren’t sure.

You nudged Ava with your elbow, tilting your screen toward her. She barely glanced at it before rolling her eyes and taking another sip of her drink. “Of course,” she muttered.

You hesitated, biting your lip. “…Can I invite him over?”

Ava sighed, setting her drink down before looking at you properly. “Fine,” she said, but then she pointed at you. “Tell him this is his redemption arc.”

You smirked, typing out exactly that.

you: Ava said this is your redemption arc. Don’t fuck it up.

Chris responded almost immediately.

chris: lol ok baby, need me to pick anything up on the way?

You turned to Ava, holding your phone out to her. “You answer.”

Ava’s lips curled into a smirk as she snatched your phone and started typing. You leaned over, watching as she wrote:

you: Yeah. Bring an apology, some humility, and a six-pack.

You snorted as she handed the phone back to you. A second later, Chris responded.

chris: well hi ava. idk about the first two but I got you on the beer ;)

You shook your head, locking your phone and exhaling. “He’s on his way.”

Ava just hummed, picking up her drink again. “Let’s see if he can actually behave himself.”

Matt just chuckled. “Doubt it.”

About forty minutes later, a knock sounded at the door.

You stood up, smoothing your oversized sweats and his red boxers poking through the top -the exact ones Chris had definitely left in your room a few weeks ago- and padded over to open it.

Chris stood there, wearing that outfit. The one he knew you loved. Hood up, vest layered over, camo pants slung low on his hips, and those ridiculous puffy ass moon boots. He looked good, and he knew it.

His eyes scanned you as soon as you pulled the door open.

And then, without a single greeting, he reached out and ran his hands over your body, his fingers skating along your waist, dipping slightly under the hem of your cropped tank top. “You look so good baby,” he murmured, tilting his head slightly.

You rolled your eyes, but your stomach flipped. “Thanks.”

His fingers toyed with the waistband of your boxers, smirking when he tugged them slightly. “Are these… my boxers? And my sweatpants?”

You smirked, not giving him an answer. “Did you bring the beer?”

Chris clicked his tongue, his hands still resting on your hips. “Of course. But I think I deserve an answer first.”

“You deserve nothing,” you shot back, taking the six-pack from his other hand and stepping aside to let him in.

He chuckled, stepping past you, his fingers lingering against your hip as he did. “We’ll see about that.”

Matt stood up from the couch, a knowing smirk on his face as he walked over. “Look who decided to show his humble ass up,” he said, holding out a hand.

Chris just laughed, shaking his head before dapping Matt up. “You already know, man.”

Matt clapped a hand on his shoulder before stepping back, watching as Chris turned to Ava.

Chris sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, Ava, I was a dick to her.” He gestures to you. “I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

Ava, still sitting on the couch, crossed her arms and stared at him. She didn’t say anything, just let the silence drag out long enough that even you felt awkward.

Chris, to his credit, didn’t back down. He held her gaze, his expression unusually genuine. “Seriously.”

Ava exhaled sharply, then finally stood up, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him in a very slow, very reluctant hug.

Chris hugged her back immediately, squeezing her slightly before she could even think about pulling away.

She sighed against his shoulder. “Get me a beer.”

Chris laughed, pulling back with a smirk. “Yes, ma’am.”

Matt snickered, already grabbing one out of the six-pack as Chris flopped onto the couch like he lived there.

“You’re still on thin ice, though,” Ava added, cracking the can open. “So don’t get too comfortable.”

Chris just grinned, stretching his arms over the back of the couch. “Oh, I never get comfortable around you, Ava.”

Ava took a sip of her beer, nodding. “Good.”

You rolled your eyes, sitting back down next to him. “You deserve it.”

Chris smirked, turning his head slightly to look at you. “I deserve a lot of things, baby.”

You scoffed. “Not from me.”

“Not yet,” he corrected, leaning in slightly, just enough that his breath brushed your ear. “But I’ll earn it.”

Ava groaned. “Oh my God, get a fucking room.”

Chris just smirked, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “Nah, I like it here.”

“So,” Ava started, glancing at you before turning to Matt. “We actually did something productive today.”

Matt raised an eyebrow. “That’s shocking.”

You rolled your eyes, nudging Ava. “Tell him.”

Ava smirked, sitting up straighter. “We applied for some last-minute college scholarships for the fall.”

Matt blinked, his eyebrows shooting up. “Wait, what?”

You shrugged. “There was an extension deadline for students who took gap years or deferred their acceptances. Apparently, some schools keep applications open for select scholarships in August for people who are late as hell like us.”

Matt grinned, his eyes lighting up. “No way.”

Ava beamed. “Way.”

Matt reached over and pulled her into a tight hug, squeezing her so hard she squealed. “I knew my girl was a genius,” he said proudly, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “And you,” he said, pointing at you. “I told you this would be the year you got your shit together.”

You scoffed, taking a sip of your drink. “Relax, we just applied. It’s not like we got accepted yet.”

“You will,” Matt said firmly. “And even if you don’t, I’m proud of you for even trying.”

Chris, however, hadn’t said a word.

You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, noticing the way his jaw was slightly clenched, his fingers tapping absentmindedly against the back of the couch. His eyes were on you, intense in a way that made your stomach tighten.

“What?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Chris tilted his head slightly. “Where?”

You blinked. “Huh?”

“Where are you applying?” he clarified, his voice calm, but there was something off about it.

You exchanged a glance with Ava before answering. “A couple schools around here, obviously,” you said. “But, like… we also sent some apps out of state. Just to see.”

Chris’s fingers stopped tapping.

Matt nodded approvingly. “That’s smart.”

Chris’s eyes didn’t leave yours. “Would you still live here?”

You hesitated. “I mean… it depends.”

Chris frowned. “Depends on what?”

Ava huffed. “On where we get in, duh.”

Chris ignored her. “So you don’t know where you’ll be in a month?”

You exhaled, setting your drink down. “Chris, it’s not that deep.”

He just stared at you for a second, his lips pressing into a thin line.

Then, in a voice that was a little too casual, he muttered, “I don’t like it.”

Ava let out a dramatic groan, throwing her head back. “Oh my God, Christopher.”

Chris ignored her, leaning in closer to you. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

You scoffed. “Because it’s my life?”

Chris’s tongue swiped over his bottom lip, his jaw tensing slightly. “And if you leave?”

You raised an eyebrow. “If I leave, then I leave.”

Chris’s hand twitched, like he wanted to grab you, like he needed you to stay still, but he didn’t move.

Matt let out a breath, clearly trying to keep the mood from shifting. “Bro, they’re not shipping off tomorrow. They’re just applying.”

Chris ignored him, his eyes still locked onto yours. “Are you gonna go?”

You swallowed. “I don’t know yet.”

Chris exhaled, leaning back slightly, but his fingers curled against the couch like he was restraining himself.

Ava rolled her eyes. “Dude, relax.”

Chris didn’t answer.

He just looked at you, really looked at you, and you could tell this was not a conversation that was over.

Chris didn’t say much after that, but his body language spoke volumes.

One second, you were sitting next to him, and the next, he was pulling you onto his lap like it was the most natural thing in the world. His arms wrapped securely around your waist, fingers slipping under the hem of your tank, his fingers warm on your waist.

You gave him a look, raising an eyebrow, but he just smirked, chin resting against your shoulder like he belonged there. “What?” he murmured, low enough that only you could hear. “You were getting too far.”

Ava was already deep in her rant, gesturing wildly with her beer in hand while Matt listened with way too much enthusiasm.

“So you know Sav, right?” Ava started, her voice already filled with rage.

You smirked. “Oh, this is about to be good.”

Matt leaned forward, already annoyed. “Wait- Sav as in your Sav?”

Ava groaned. “Not my Sav anymore.”

Chris chuckled against your shoulder, his fingers moving just slightly further up.

Ava sighed dramatically. “So tell me why this bitch keeps trying to get with Gabe?”

You blinked. “Gabe? As in, your ex?”

Ava nodded aggressively. “YES. My ex. The one I broke up with sophomore year before Matt who I dated through all of middle school. The one she swore up and down was ‘so gross’ and ‘not even cute.’ The one she literally helped me get over?”

Matt’s jaw dropped. “Oh, that’s so dirty.”

Chris hummed, his lips ghosting against the shell of your ear as he replied to Ava. “You gonna let that slide?”

She huffed, taking another sip of her drink. “I wasn’t gonna say shit, but then I saw the messages.”

You gasped. “Wait, she actually texted him?”

Ava whipped her phone out, scrolling furiously. “Hold on, I screenshotted it because I knew you’d need proof.”

“I love receipts.” Matt scooted closer to her, their faces cheek to cheek as Ava scrolled through her camera roll to find the photos.

She held the screen out, and sure enough- paragraphs of desperate texts from Sav filled the screen.

sav: gabe, I know this is probably weird, but like… I feel like we never really got to know each other the way we should’ve. And I know you were Ava’s but like… people move on, right? It’s been four years.

You gagged. “NOT ‘you were Ava’s’….”

Matt winced. “Yeah that’s fucked.”

Ava nodded furiously. “RIGHT? Like, ‘you were Ava’s’??? Like I’m fucking dead?!”

Chris just laughed, his hand tightening around your waist. You felt his fingertips brush your bare stomach, and you had to force yourself not to react.

Matt shook his head. “Didn’t you tell me she said he was built like a divorced middle school gym teacher? And now she wants him?”

Ava snorted, shaking her head. “Right? Like, at least stick to the hate.”

Chris hummed. “So what’d he say?”

Ava grinned. “Oh, he dubbed the shit out of her.”

She scrolled and showed the next message.

Gabe: LMAO nah I’m good

Chris wheezed into your shoulder.

Matt laughed. “Damn right.”

You clutched Ava’s arm. “Oh my God, you won.”

Ava beamed, taking another sip. “I know. But wait, it gets better.”

Matt’s eyes lit up. Ava nodded, flipping to another screenshot.

Sav: Why are you acting like this? You were never even in love with Ava.

Your mouth dropped open. “SHE SAID THAT?!”

Matt sat up. “Put it on god-”

Ava grinned, showing the next message.

Gabe: Well I wasn’t in love with you either. Now get out my phone.

Chris howled, his grip tightening on you as he laughed.

Matt fell back onto the couch. “Oh my god. I have second hand embarrassment.”

You gasped for air. “She’s never coming back from that.”

Ava smirked. “She better not.”

Chris finally spoke, his voice low against your ear. “If you ever humiliate yourself like that over a guy, I’ll put you down myself.”

You rolled your eyes. “As if I’d ever be that desperate.”

Chris’s fingers trailed even lower, his touch deliberate, teasing the waistband of your sweats. “Mhmm,” he teased. “Only for me, right?”

Ava raised an eyebrow. “What the fuck is going on over there?”

Chris just smirked, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Nothing. Just enjoying the story.”

Matt snorted. “You’re fucking stupid.”

Ava sighed dramatically, finishing her drink. “You know what? I need another beer before I send this bitch a personalized message telling her to never look in my direction again.”

Matt grinned. “And that is why I’m in love with you.”

Chris smirked against your shoulder. “Same.”

You froze for half a second, but before you could even process it, he just leaned back again, grinning like he hadn’t said a damn thing.

You took a long sip of your drink, exhaling before setting it down with a thud. “Okay, but if we’re on the topic of delusional bitches, I need to tell you about Sophie.”

Ava groaned immediately. “Oh God, what now?”

Matt started, grinning. “Wait, is this the one that-?”

“Yes,” you confirmed, rolling your eyes. “The one who swore up and down that I was fat-shaming her because I said we weren’t the same size.”

Chris snorted, his grip tightening around your waist. “What?”

Ava cackled. “Oh my God, yes. You literally just told her your jeans probably wouldn’t fit her, which is just a fact.”

Matt’s eyebrows shot up. “She asked to borrow your jeans?”

You nodded. “Yes! And I nicely said, ‘Oh, I don’t think they’d fit, sorry,’ because, like… they wouldn’t.”

Ava gasped dramatically. “HOW DARE YOU.”

Chris was grinning, shaking his head. “Nah, that’s insane.”

Matt let out a low whistle. “Did she just expect them to fit?”

You threw your hands up. “I guess? I don’t know, but she went around telling everyone that I was a horrible bitch and making fun of her body when I literally just stated the obvious.”

Chris smirked. “Maybe she should try hitting the gym. Then she’d fit into your jeans and stop running her mouth.”

Matt howled with laughter, clapping his hands together. “Nah, that’s so bad-”

“But so true,” Ava added, sipping her drink.

Chris just shrugged, running his hands along your waist again, fingers pressing into your sides. “I mean, if she’s that mad, she could just go buy her own jeans instead of trying to force herself into yours.”

Matt was fully invested now. He always was. The way he got into gossip with you and Ava was so funny. He had been dating Ava for four years, of course he was going to gossip.

“What did she think was gonna happen? Was she just gonna hope for the best?” Matt asked.

Ava rolled her eyes. “She probably thought it was gonna be some kind of Cinderella moment, like the denim would just magically expand to fit her.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “I swear, some people just look for reasons to be offended.”

Ava clinked her drink against yours. “And that is why we talk shit.”

Chris chuckled, pressing a lazy kiss to your shoulder. “See, this is why I like sitting in on these little gossip sessions. Quality entertainment.”

Matt smirked. “Right?.”

Chris grinned. “No matt, you’re one of them too.”

Ava laughed and leaned over to kiss him. “That’s why I love you, Matty.”

Chris’s grip on your waist tightened as he leaned in, his voice nothing but a low murmur against your ear.

“You know,” he whispered, his fingers tracing slow circles against your skin. “You talking like this… all worked up, all mean and shit… really fucking turns me on.”

You smirked, finally turning your head slightly to look at him. “Oh, does it?” you mused, your tone saccharine, teasing. “Should I start talking down to you then? You want me to degrade you, Christopher?”

Chris’s eyes darkened, his smirk widening as his fingers dipped just under the waistband of your boxers.

“Ohhh,” you drawled, your voice dripping with amusement as you try to ignore him moving fingers. “So that’s what you want? You could’ve just asked, baby.”

Chris licked his lips, his gaze flickering over your face before he tilted his head slightly. “Nah,” he admitted, his voice still low. “I just love the fight.”

Your stomach flipped, but you kept your expression neutral. “Yeah?”

Chris nodded slowly, his fingers still teasing against your skin. “Every time you yell at me, it turns me on,” he murmured, his voice almost thoughtful. “Every time I see you angry, it turns me on.”

Your breath hitched, but Chris just grinned, like he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

“Makes me wanna start a fight with you,” he continued, his voice dropping even lower, “just to fuck the fight out of you.”

You inhaled sharply, your thighs clenching instinctively, but you recovered fast.

You tilted your head, giving him an innocent look. “Oh, so you admit it then?” you teased, your lips curling. “You like pissing me off.”

Chris smirked, his fingers dragging over your waistline again. “Nah, I love it.”

You hummed, pretending to consider it. “Well, good to know,” you murmured, shifting just slightly in his lap, feeling the way his fingers tightened against you.

Chris exhaled sharply, his grip locking you in place. “You keep moving like that, and I’m gonna ruin you right here, baby.”

You smirked. “Oh, really?”

Chris nodded, his lips barely an inch from yours. “Mmm. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You tilted your head, dragging a single finger down his chest. “I don’t know,” you mused. “You talk such a big game, Christopher. But you never do anything about it.”

Chris’s smirk widened. “Careful, baby. You’re gonna manifest something you can’t handle. Remember last time?”

“No, actually I don’t. Didn’t make it memorable enough I suppose.” You grinned, dragging your fingers up his neck, over his jaw. “Then prove it.”

Chris inhaled sharply, his fingers digging into your waist.

But before he could say anything else, Ava’s voice snapped through the moment.

“What the fuck are you two whispering about?”

Chris just grinned, leaning back against the couch like nothing happened. “Just a little healthy debate.”

Ava squinted. “I don’t believe you.”

Chris stretched dramatically, his fingers pressing firmly into your waist as he sighed. “Well,” he said, glancing at the time on his phone. “It’s late.”

Ava squinted. “It’s literally not.”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, it’s barely midnight.”

Chris ignored them, tightening his grip on you. “We should probably head to bed, huh baby?”

You blinked, caught slightly off guard, but Chris was already standing up, pulling you up with him, keeping you pressed against him.

Ava smirked immediately. “Ohhh, is that right?”

Matt grinned, sipping his drink. “Hate to see ‘em go, love to watch ‘em leave.”

Ava cackled. “You two are so fucking predictable.”

Chris just grinned, his fingers firm on your hip as he started backing toward the stairs, pulling you along with him. “Jealous?”

Ava rolled her eyes. “Yeah, so jealous of the toxic sex marathon you two are about to have.”

You groaned, shoving at Chris’s chest. “Could you at least be subtle about it?”

Chris laughed, spinning you slightly so that his hand rested against the small of your back, his other trailing down your arm. “Oh, so now you wanna pretend?”

Ava smirked. “I’ll give them fifteen minutes before something gets broken.”

Matt huffed a laugh, raising his beer. “I’ll give ‘em ten.”

Chris just grinned, leaning down to press a slow, teasing kiss against your jaw before whispering, “Let’s prove them wrong, yeah?”

You rolled your eyes but let him pull you upstairs anyway.

Because, as much as you hated to admit it- Ava and Matt weren’t wrong.

MASTERLIST

Every step I take feels heavier, like the weight of what just happened is trying to pull me down into the sand. God I wished it was quick sand and would just swallow me whole. I keep walking, pushing forward, pretending that I don’t care. That it didn’t just happen. That it doesn’t matter.

I step off the beach and onto the pavement in my bare feet, not wanting to even say a word to Matt to get my shoes back. I see Nick, Chris, and Nate are standing outside the bar, still buzzing, drinks in their hands. They don’t notice me right away, but when they do, Nick’s face twists in confusion.

“Where the hell did you guys go?” His eyes dart between me and Matt, who’s still a few steps behind, still silent.

I clear my throat, trying to sound normal. “Just for a walk. I’m not feeling great.”

Nick’s brow furrows looking down at my bare feet. He doesn’t look convinced. But I don’t care.

“I’m going back to the villa” I add quickly, just wanting to escape. “I just.. I need to sleep.”

There’s a quick moment of silence.

Matt finally steps up beside me, still holding my heels, still not saying a word.

Nick tilts his head, looking between the two of us. His voice is softer this time. “You sure you’re good?”

I nod too fast. “Yeah.”

“You’re not going back alone.” His tone shifts, final. “We’re all trashed anyway. Let’s just head back.”

Chris groans, tipping his head back. “Bro, I was just about to get another drink-”

“You can drink at the villa” Nick snaps, already waving down a taxi. He turns back to me. “You’re really okay?”

I nod again, it feels like I might shatter if I do anything else.

A white taxi van pulls up to the curb, and instantly we’re all climbing in. I slide in first, sitting myself into the window seat of the back row like I can disappear into it. Matt hesitates before getting in next to me. The tension between us thick.

Chris and Nate slump into the middle row, both too drunk to care about whatever tension is crackling behind them between Matt and I. Nick takes the front seat, giving the driver the villa’s address.

We pull away from the bar, the neon lights blurring past the window. The silence is unbearable.

My fingers curl against my thighs. I refuse to look at Matt.

He shifts beside me. His arm brushes against mine, just for a second, before he pulls away.

He still has my heels in his lap.

I don’t say a word.

The taxi driver is weaving through the streets like he’s got nothing to lose, and honestly, it’s not helping. My stomach is already in knots, and every sharp turn makes it worse. I close my eyes, hoping to steady myself, but that only amplifies the spinning. The whole world tilts, and suddenly, I know, this is bad.

I’m going to be sick.

The moment the taxi pulls up to the villa, I don’t waste a second. I push the seat down infront of me and open the door, nearly tripping as I stumble out onto the pavement. My legs barely carry me forward as I break into a wobbly run.

I need to get to my room.

I bust through the villa's front door, making a beeline for the stairs. I hear voices behind me, Nick calling my name, Chris laughing drunkenly about something, Nate asking if I’m good, but I can’t focus on any of them. My vision is blurred, my feet feel like they might give out under me, I can feel myself getting hotter as my mouth starts to fill with saliva. I don’t even bother shutting the door behind me as I bolt into my room.

The ensuite is barely within reach before I collapse to my knees. My stomach flips violently, and then I’m gone, kneeling over the toilet, purging every ounce of alcohol and regret from my system.

The room is spinning. My hands are gripping the cold porcelain toilet bowl, knuckles white. I can hear footsteps approaching, but I don’t have the energy to turn and see who it is.

I just want this feeling to stop.

I feel someone crouch down nearby. A hand gently pulls my hair back, sweeping it away from my face, holding it steady as I brace myself over the toilet. My body shudders with the force of another wave of nausea, and I squeeze my eyes shut, mortified.

“It’s okay” a familiar voice coos. 

Matt.

I grip the edge of the toilet, trying to ground myself as my breathing evens out. My entire body feels weak, drained, and humiliated all at once. I shake my head, not even sure what I’m trying to say. Maybe go away, maybe stay, maybe why are you even here?

Matt doesn’t say anything else for a moment. He just rubs slow circles on my back, a comforting touch I didn’t know I needed.

When I finally dare to lift my head, I can see him in my peripheral. His brows are drawn together, concern showing across his features. He looks like he wants to say something but holds back.

“I’ll get you some water” he finally says, voice soft.

I don’t have the strength to argue. I nod weakly, my throat too raw to respond. I rest my forehead against the cool tiled wall to the side as he disappears.

A few minutes later, he’s back, putting a cold water bottle into my hands. I take a sip, the freezing liquid combating the acidic taste in my mouth. “Thanks” I mumble quietly, and he just nods, sitting down on the floor beside me, resting his arms on his knees.

I continue to get sick until there’s nothing left, my body trembling from the exhaustion of it all. My breathing is heavy, ragged, and my limbs feel impossibly weak. All I need now is bed. Just somewhere warm and steady to escape the spinning.

I try to stand, gripping onto the edge of the counter for balance, but the second I move, my legs betray me. The room tilts violently, and I stumble, bracing for the inevitable fall to the ground.

But it never comes.

Instead, Matt’s arms catch me, lifting me effortlessly into the air. I barely register what’s happening as Matt carries me out of the bathroom, his grip secure but careful, like I might break. My head lays against his chest, my body too drained to protest.

He gently places me on the edge of my bed, and before I can even process what’s happening, he’s pulling a soft t-shirt over my head, guiding my arms through the sleeves. His touch is firm but delicate, careful to keep my dignity intact as he covers me up, replacing the skimpy outfit I went out in.

I let out a frustrated sigh, suddenly aware of how gross I feel. “My makeup..” I mumble, my voice barely above a whisper.

Matt crouches in front of me, his eyes scanning my face before nodding. “Where’s your remover?”

I motion weakly toward my nightstand, and without hesitation, he grabs it, along with some cotton pads. He crouches onto his knees in front of me, then pours some micellar water onto a pad, and begins to wipe away my makeup. His touch is impossibly gentle, his fingers grazing my skin as he works in silence.

The intimacy of it all makes my chest tighten. I should be telling him to stop, that I can do it myself, not that I’m actually capable of it right now, but I don’t. I just sit there, letting him take care of me in a way that feels.. different. Unfamiliar, yet not unwelcome.

When he’s finished, he tosses the used cotton pads into the bin next to us and leans back slightly, studying me. The weight of his gaze makes me shift uncomfortably, embarrassment creeping in.

“I’m sorry” I whisper, my voice hoarse. “For being this drunk. For.. all of it.”

Matt shakes his head, his expression softening. “Don’t be.”

“But it’s-”

“It’s fine” he interrupts, his voice firm but kind. “You had a good night. You just had a little too much. It happens.”

I bite my lip, still feeling the humiliation settle deep in my bones. “It’s just.. embarrassing.”

Matt exhales, a small smirk playing at his lips. “You think this is embarrassing? Did we tell you the last time we were here Chris got so drunk he tried to fight a palm tree because he thought it was ‘looking at him funny.’”

I can’t help it. I let out a small, breathy laugh.

“There it is” Matt murmurs, his smirk growing. “Knew I’d get you to smile.”

I roll my eyes, but the warmth in my chest stays.

For a while, we just sit there in silence. The tension from earlier still lingers between us, thick and unspoken. I should be angry at him, for rejecting me, for making me feel stupid, but right now, his presence is the only thing steady around me, and I can’t bring myself to push him away.

Matt hovers for a moment, his eyes scanning my face like he’s making sure I’m really okay. I feel the weight of exhaustion pressing down on me, my body sinking into the mattress. Matt adjusts the bed covers on to me, making sure im comfortable. 

He exhales, standing up. “Get some sleep” he says softly. His voice is low, careful, like he doesn’t want to startle me.

I nod weakly, already feeling my eyelids grow heavier. I watch as he walks to the door, pausing just before stepping out. For a second, I think he might say something else, but instead, he just looks back at me before quietly slipping out of the room.

The second he’s gone, I exhale, releasing a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My body melts into the bed, the alcohol still buzzing faintly in my system, but the exhaustion outweighs it now.

The next morning I’m woken up by my phone next to me buzzing. It's a message. From Matt. 

Matt: Let me know when you're awake

Oh no. 

What have I done? My face heats up. Does he want to talk about something? My mind races as I reply.

Me: Just woke up there, what's up?

And then nothing. For 20 mins I anticipate something, but nothing. I can't even bring myself to move from bed to figure out what it is because I'm that hungover.  I have to shut my eyes due to the pounding headache I have, which in turn, leads me to drift back off to sleep for further 10 mins until I'm woken again by my phone buzzing.

Matt: Check outside your bedroom door

What is he talking about? I mumble to myself. It takes everything in me to get out of bed and walk to the door. I open it and see nothing infront of me, until I look down and there sits a chocolate milkshake. Then my phone buzzes again.

Matt: I remember someone telling me you liked a milkshake after drinking

A small, tired smile tugs at my lips as I bend down to pick up the milkshake. The condensation from the plastic cup chills my fingers, and the sweet, chocolatey scent immediately makes my stomach growl, despite the hangover nausea still lingering.

I take a sip, the cold drink soothing my throat and my stomach. I let out a quiet sigh. The gesture is so simple, yet it makes my chest feel weirdly warm. 

I exhale, flopping back onto my bed. What is he doing? After last night, I’d half expected him to avoid me completely. To act like nothing happened. But this.. this feels like something.

Before I can overthink it, I send him a reply.

Me: Thanks, Matt. That was sweet.

This time, his reply comes almost instantly.

Matt: Don’t get used to it.

I roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling, my mind still clouded with needing sleep and the remnants of alcohol. Last night, he pulled away. Last night, he rejected me. And now.. now he’s leaving me hangover cures outside my door like he has some kind of guilty conscience? I’m not sure how to take it. But one thing I will take, is how well this milkshake is going down. I finish it off before falling into yet another nap.

I end up staying in bed for the rest of the day, drifting in and out of sleep, and by the quietness of the villa, Chris and Nate must have too. It wasn't until 7pm that I managed to drag myself downstairs. I followed the sound of voices and found the four boys sitting out on the patio next to the pool. 

I step outside, the warm evening air wrapping around me as I make my way toward them. Chris and Nate are slouched in their chairs, looking like they’ve been through hell and back. Nick is sipping water, his sunglasses still on even though the sun is setting. Matt sits next to him, spinning his empty water bottle on the table.

I clear my throat. “So.. how’s everyone feeling?”

Chris groans, running a hand through his messy hair. “Like absolute shit.”

Nate nods in agreement, his head tilted back against the chair. “I swear I almost saw the other side earlier. I don’t know how we drank that much.”

Nick chuckles, stretching his arms over his head. “Well, I had a great day. Me and Matt just chilled by the pool, watching you lot suffer.” He smirks at me. “How about you? You seemed rough this morning.”

I roll my eyes, stepping closer. “Yeah, thanks for that, Nick. I felt rough. Hence the reason I spent the whole day in bed.”

My eyes flick to Matt for a second, but he doesn’t look at me, just keeps spinning the bottle between his fingers.

Chris sighs. “Well, at least we survived.”

Nick groans, “Alright well, I don’t want to waste a night of us being boring. Me and Matt sat around all day while the rest of you were out of commission. We need to do something.”

As he’s talking, Chris suddenly stands up without a word and disappears inside. We all watch him go, but before anyone can question it, he returns moments later, a cold bottle of beer in his hand.

Nate squints at him. “What the hell are you doing?”

Chris twists off the cap with ease, taking a long sip before replying “The cure is the cause.” He smirks. “Only one way to cure a hangover.”

Nate blinks at him for a second, then shrugs. “You know what? That actually makes a weird amount of sense.” He pushes himself up and heads inside, coming back with a beer of his own.

That’s when all eyes land on me.

I raise my brows. “What?”

Nick grins. “You’re up, lightweight.”

I huff, crossing my arms. “I just recovered from last night.”

Chris tilts his head. “Then what’s one more drink?”

Matt finally looks at me, his lips twitching like he’s waiting to see what I’ll do.

I exhale through my nose, shaking my head with a small laugh. “Alright, alright.. Guess I’ll go get myself a drink too.”

I make my way to the kitchen and as I pour myself a vodka lemonade, Nick walks past me, heading upstairs.

"Where are you going?" I ask, watching him disappear up the steps.

"I’ll be back down in a minute" he calls over his shoulder.

I finish making my drink and step back outside, settling into a deck chair across from Matt. I avoid his gaze, the sting of last night’s rejection still fresh. Instead, I focus on the conversation around me, nodding along but barely listening.

Then, Nick returns, a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Look what I brought!" he announces, holding up a familiar box.

I turn to see Twister in his hands, the same Twister I bought for what ended up being a disastrous game night at his place.

We decide to have a few more drinks before we play the game, to make it that bit more interesting. Nick, self appointed as the ‘Twister master’, lays the mat out on the patio and sits cross legged with the spinner in his lap, grinning like a game show host.

"Alright, degenerates, let's see who’s got the best flexibility."

Chris groans. "If I go down with a pulled muscle, I’m suing."

We all step onto the mat, and Nick spins the board.

"Right hand, red!"

We move into place, the game still innocent for now, just an excuse to laugh as we stretch around each other. Nate nearly falls immediately, making Chris shove him with his shoulder.

"Bro, we just started!" Chris laughs.

"Coordination isn’t my strong suit, remember?" Nate grumbles.

"Left foot, blue!" Nick calls out, and we scramble again, limbs starting to overlap.

It stays lighthearted, Chris and Nate playfully shoving each other, Nick laughing from his spot as he watches the chaos unfold. But then-

"Right hand, green" Nick announces.

Nate groans as he awkwardly stretches over Chris, struggling to reach the spot. "Nick, you’re making this shit up!"

Nick smirks. "I’m just reading what it says, kid. Try not to fall."

We continue twisting and contorting ourselves into ridiculous positions, the occasional accidental bump or brush of skin sending bursts of laughter through the group.

Then comes the moment it all starts to fall apart.

"Left foot red!"

Nate stretches, his foot slipping slightly. "Shit! Shit!"

And then, like a slow motion disaster, he completely loses his balance, his arms flailing before he crashes onto his side, groaning dramatically. "I hate this game."

"First one down!" Nick announces, pointing at him like a referee.

Chris chuckles, shifting his stance. "Better luck next round, bro."

But karma strikes fast.

The next spin forces Chris into an awkward stretch over me, his grip unstable. His foot wobbles, and before he can recover, he tips over, falling onto Nate, who lets out another exaggerated groan.

"Are you serious?" Nate huffs.

"Alright, alright" Chris laughs, rolling off. "I’m out."

That leaves just Matt and I.

The tension shifts instantly.

Nick spins the board again, smirking like he knows exactly what he’s doing. "Right hand yellow."

Matt and I both stretch for the same circle, his arm brushing against mine as we reach. My breath catches for half a second, but I refuse to let it throw me off.

"Left foot blue!"

This time, I have to stretch under him, my back arching awkwardly beneath his body. I can feel the warmth of him hovering just inches above me, his breath fanning against my skin as his horse necklace dangles near my face.

"Comfortable down there?" Matt murmurs, a teasing tone to his voice.

"Shut up and focus" I retort, trying not to sound breathless.

But then comes the next move.

"Right hand red."

It forces Matt to reach over me, his body shifting dangerously off balance. I can feel the slight tremble in his arm as he stretches, his chest practically pressing against mine.

And then-

His arm gives out.

"Fuck!"

Before I can react, he topples forward, and in an instant, his weight sends me down with him.

The fall happens too fast to catch myself, and suddenly, I'm on my back, Matt landing right on top of me. The impact knocks the breath out of me, my hands instinctively gripping onto him to steady myself.

For a moment, everything stills.

We’re tangled together on the mat, my body pinned beneath his, our faces inches apart. His hands brace on either side of me, but he doesn’t move away.

Neither of us speaks.

The laughter that filled the night just moments ago fades into something heavier, something unspoken. His eyes flicker down to my lips before darting away, like he knows he shouldn’t be looking but can’t help himself.

Nick clears his throat dramatically.

"Well that was bound to happen."

Matt instantly pulls away, rolling onto his side, and I quickly sit up, my heart pounding. I avoid his gaze, but I can feel the heat rising to my face.

Chris chuckles from his spot on the ground. "Looks like you both lost that one."

"Yeah, yeah" Matt grumbles, pushing himself up. But I don’t miss the way his hand lingers on my arm for just a second too long before he lets go.

Chris helps me up off the ground. "Yeah, that’s enough damn yoga positions for me tonight" he mutters, shaking his head.

Nate, still sprawled out on the patio like he’s given up on life, waves a dismissive hand. "Agreed. I didn’t sign up for a Twister class, man. I’m done."

Chris nudges him with his foot. "C’mon, Bambi. Let’s get to bed before Nick convinces us to do something else stupid."

Nate grumbles but drags himself up, shooting a glance at Matt and I stood next to each other. He smirks slightly, but thankfully, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just shakes his head and follows Chris inside.

With Chris and Nate off to bed, it’s just the three of us left outside. The alcohol has settled in nicely, and there’s a comfortable buzz between us. Nick holds his fresh bottle in his hands, eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Alright losers" he announces. “Since Twister is off the cards it's time for Never Have I Ever. And try not to get too rowdy with it this time, okay?"

"Oh, great" Matt mutters, stretching out on his chair. "Forgot you were the ultimate decider of what games we play”

“Well.. atleast he knows what he wants” I tease, taking a sip of my drink.

Nick grins. "Okay, I’ll start. Never have I ever.. hooked up with someone in this villa."

I scoff and keep my drink firmly in my lap. Matt does the same.

Nick sighs. "Boring.”

I mean I am the only girl in the villa. I’m not too sure what Nick’s trying to play at.

Matt rolls his eyes. “Alright, my turn. Never have I ever.. drunk texted an ex.”

I groan, reluctantly taking a sip while Nick follows suit.

"Oof, who was it?" Matt smirks at me.

"Answers weren’t part of the terms and conditions of this game."

Nick cackles. "She’s dodging. It was definitely tragic."

I throw the decorative pillow underneath me at him.

Nick leans forward, eyes twinkling. "Alright, Y/n, your turn. Make it a good one."

I think for a second before grinning. "Never have I ever.. had a crush on a friend."

Nick drinks immediately. But what catches me off guard is Matt, who lifts his drink and takes a slow sip.

Our eyes meet over the rim of his glass, and for a split second, my heart stumbles. But honestly, with the way Matt can be, I don’t even know if he considers me a ‘friend’.

Nick, of course, doesn’t miss a thing. "Ohhh, now this is interesting."

Matt sets his drink down like it’s nothing, smirking. "What? You said ‘friend.’ That could mean anyone."

Nick narrows his eyes playfully. "Mhm. Sure."

The air feels heavier, something unspoken hanging between Matt and I. I take another sip of my drink, pretending not to overthink it.

"Alright, alright" Nick says, clearly enjoying the tension. "Never have I ever.. wanted to kiss someone in this game."

Silence.

Has Matt told Nick about last night? I guess that means I can't bitch out now..

Matt and I both reach for our drinks at the same time.

Nick gasps, dramatically clutching his chest. "OH! this is too good. You two are messyyyy."

I glance at Matt, and he’s already looking at me, that same unreadable smirk on his lips.

What does this mean?

I take another sip, hoping the alcohol will give me answers.

Nick stretches his arms dramatically, a smug grin plastered on his face. "Well! I think I’ve done enough meddling for one night."

I narrow my eyes at him. He does know what he's doing. "You’re enjoying this way too much."

"Oh, absolutely!" he says, not even trying to deny it. "But don’t worry, I’ll let you two sort yourselves out. No pressure!" His smirk deepens as he stands up.

Has he always been this suspicious? Or has he just picked up on something over the last few days? Either way, he’s definitely enjoying whatever game he thinks is happening.

"Night!" he teases, winking before heading inside and disappearing up the stairs to his room.

And just like that, it’s only me and Matt.

I sip my drink, suddenly hyper aware of the silence stretching between us. I should say something.

But before I can, Matt exhales a quiet chuckle and shakes his head. "Nick’s an idiot."

"Yeah." I agree, but my voice comes out softer than I intend. "But an observant one."

Matt doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he just looks at me, his expression unreadable but undeniably intense. The kind of look that makes my pulse pick up for reasons I don’t want to acknowledge.

I swallow hard. "Did you actually mean to drink to that last one? Or were you just messing with him?"

Matt tilts his head slightly, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. "What do you think?"

I should’ve expected an answer like that. It’s classic Matt, always keeping me on my toes. 

But that’s not what I want right now.

"I don’t know." I say, shaking my head. "I never know with you."

He leans back slightly, resting his arm over the back of the chair, watching me carefully. He doesn’t interrupt, which only makes me want to keep talking.

"It would be nice if you could stop with whatever act you’re playing." The alcohol has fully taken hold now, dragging words out of me that I’d usually swallow down. "I don’t know how you feel. One minute, you act like you can’t stand me. Then you do something nice for me. Then you’re cold again. It’s exhausting, Matt."

Silence.

I hate that he doesn’t respond right away. That unreadable look is back, the one that makes my heart race and frustrates me at the same time. He looks away for a second, running his hand through his hair before finally speaking.

"You really think I hate you?" he asks, his voice quieter now.

I scoff, rolling my eyes. "Well, you don’t exactly make it easy to think otherwise."

His jaw clenches slightly, and for a second, I think I’ve pushed too far. But then he exhales a sharp breath and leans forward, elbows on his knees.

"I don’t hate you" he says, looking at me like he’s daring me to believe him. "Not even close."

The way he says it, the way his voice drops just slightly, it sends something sharp and unexpected through me.

"Then what is it?" I ask, my voice softer now.

Matt studies me for a long moment, like he’s debating whether to say something or just brush it off like he always does.

Then, finally. "It’s complicated."

I let out a dry laugh. "Of course it is."

The air between us is thick now, the tension undeniable. I should leave it at that, let the conversation die out. But I don’t want to. Not tonight.

I meet his eyes, steady despite the way my head is spinning from both the alcohol and his words. "Uncomplicate it, then."

Matt exhales, his fingers drumming against his knee. He doesn’t say anything at first, and that silence only fuels the fire burning in my chest.

"Do you think it’s fair?" I ask, my voice sharper now. "The way you treat me? One day it’s like you never want to speak to me, and then the next, I feel like I’m being led on. And when I finally lean into what I think you’re giving me, you take it back straight away."

His eyes flicker with something, Guilt? Frustration? I can’t tell. He opens his mouth like he’s about to explain himself, but I don’t give him the chance.

"And before you say anything," I cut in, "if you’re about to bring up last night, don’t."

His lips press into a thin line.

"Yeah, Matt. That wasn’t fun. It was more than embarrassing. To be rejected, then have you look after me like that? Do you have any idea how humiliating that was?"

Matt finally meets my gaze, something unreadable in his expression. He’s always so damn hard to read, and I hate it. He swallows, his jaw tightening before he speaks.

"It wasn’t like that" he says, his voice lower now. "I wasn’t trying to-"

"Then what were you trying to do?" I challenge, crossing my arms. "Because I can’t keep playing this game, Matt. It’s messing with my head."

He looks down for a second, rubbing his palms together like he’s trying to find the right words. But I’m tired of waiting for him to figure it out.

"If you don’t want me, just say it." 

The words come out more vulnerable than I intend, but I don’t back down. 

"If this is all just some joke to you, if I’m reading too much into everything, then tell me. I’d rather know now than keep feeling like an idiot."

His eyes snap back up to mine, and for the first time tonight, I see it, hesitation, conflict. Like he’s fighting something inside himself.

But he still doesn’t say anything.

And honestly? That silence is my answer.

Out of frustration, I shake my head, letting out a bitter laugh.

I don’t wait any longer for him to respond. I push myself up from the chair, my head spinning yet again, but this time it's definitely from the emotions burning in my chest. I take myself inside, my vision blurring as I walk upstairs to my room. My throat feels tight, my breath uneven, but I force myself to keep moving.

I’m glad my room is on the opposite side of the villa from everyone else. The last thing I need is anyone hearing me fall apart. I shouldn’t have even come on this stupid trip.

I reach my door and go to shut it behind me, desperate to lock myself away from the last two nights, from Matt, from everything.

But the door doesn’t close. It’s blocked.

I freeze.

Then, I feel it. The resistance. The presence.

Matt.

He’s standing on the other side, his hand pressed firmly against the doorframe, stopping me from shutting him out.

"Move." My voice is quiet, but there’s an edge to it.

He doesn’t. Instead, he steps forward, pushing the door open just enough for our eyes to meet. 

"I don’t want to do this right now, Matt" I say, my voice wavering. "Just leave me alone."

He exhales sharply. "I can’t."

My heart clenches. "Why not?"

He doesn’t answer right away, just steps fully inside, closing the door behind him. Locking us in.

"Your silence was my answer, Matt. What more is there to say?" I snap, arms crossed tightly over my chest, trying to keep it together. My emotions are lining my eyes, my throat tightening. I don’t want to cry, not in front of him. Not now.

"That’s not fair" he finally says, his voice softer than before.

I scoff. "Oh, now you have something to say?" 

His jaw clenches, hands balling into fists at his sides like he’s frustrated, but why is he frustrated? 

"You don’t understand" he mutters.

"Then make me understand" I fire back. "Because I’m done trying to figure you out."

For a second, he just stares at me, like he’s caught between wanting to say something and running the other way. But then, without warning,

He takes a step closer.

Then another.

Until the space between us is almost nonexistent.

"I only ever acted like that because I thought you would never like me." His voice is low, almost uncertain, but the weight behind his words is undeniable. "I can be awkward. I can close myself off. You have such good relationships with both of my brothers, and I wasn’t sure where I fit in your life. I didn’t know if there was space for me, so I kept my distance, hoping that maybe if I stayed far enough away, I could push down what I felt for you. But it never worked."

My lips part slightly, but I don’t speak. I can’t. I just stare at him, trying to process what he’s saying, what he’s admitting.

He exhales sharply, before locking his eyes with mine again, this time with nothing held back. "Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to kiss you last night, Y/n? How much I’ve wanted to for longer than I can even admit to myself? The only reason I didn’t is because I knew how drunk you were. I wasn’t sure if you meant it, and I couldn’t-" He pauses, shaking his head. "I couldn’t let myself take something I wasn’t sure you truly wanted."

His words hit me like a tonne of bricks, my heart pounding. My mind a mess, I’ve spent so long being confused about Matt, when all along, he was just as lost as I was.

The room feels smaller, the space between us bubbling with everything we've avoided for so long. I can feel my pulse in my ears as I stare at Matt. I swallow hard, as we both just stare at eachother, as I think of what to say.

But Matt doesn’t give me time to think, to process, to argue anymore. He takes that final step to close the space between us, his hands grip my face, and his lips crash into mine.

It’s not soft. It’s not hesitant. It’s everything unsaid, everything bottled up, coming to the surface all at once. A mix of frustration, yearning, and something close to desperation. He kisses me like he’s afraid I’ll pull away, like he’s afraid this moment will slip through his fingers if he doesn’t act on it now.

But I don’t pull away. I don’t hesitate. The second his lips meet mine, I melt into him like it was inevitable, like this was always going to happen no matter how much we pretended otherwise. My hands grip his shirt, fisting the fabric, pulling him in as close as physically possible. His hands slide from my face down to my waist, holding me there, grounding me, like he needs to make sure I’m real.

He exhales against my lips, like he’s been holding his breath for too long. Like this is relief and chaos all at once. I barely have time to process the way his lips move against mine, slow but hungry, before I realize I’m kissing him back just as desperately.

The tension between us is electric, suffocating in the best way, years of mixed signals and extreme tension finally colliding into something real. My head is spinning, but not from the alcohol this time. From him. From this.

When we finally break apart, our foreheads stay pressed together, our breaths tangled in the silence of my dark room. His hands don’t leave my waist, and I don’t loosen my grip on his shirt.

For a second, neither of us speaks. We just exist in this moment, the weight of it pressing down on us.

And then, in a voice so quiet I almost miss it, Matt whispers, “I’ve wanted to do that for so fucking long.”

a/n : writing the start of this when actually hungover was an experience.. but ROLLERCOASTERRRRRRR everyones clocking their shit! p.s if youve not seen my recent post regarding future fic pls read here

Sextape

"C'mon, Chris. Hold the camera still. Or else I won't let you cum," you sweetly cooed to the blue-eyed boy sitting in front of you. A series of soft whines cascaded from his pouty lips as you drew circles on his swollen, pink tip that you were relentlessly teasing with your vibrator.

His sweaty palms gripped the camera a bit more tightly as he directed the lens at his lap and what you were doing to him, but he couldn't keep it from shaking. You reduced the intensity of the vibrations as Chris struggled to listen to your directions. "Chris," you said more sternly this time, raising your eyebrows.

"I'm trying, mommy. It just feel so good," he purred. "Please. Turn it back up. I'll be a good boy. I'll hold it steady," Chris begged, peering down at the way you expertly stimulated his cock through the view finder.

You loved how pathetic he sounded when he pleaded with you. How could you say no? You gave in, giving him what he wanted and switching it back to a more intense setting as you watched him squirm around.

One of the things you loved most about Chris was how confident and assertive he was in his every day life, but the second it was just the two of you behind closed doors, his submissive side would come out to play. All of a sudden, his cool, calm, and collected facade would crumble, and he'd turn in a whiny, needy, and desperate little thing.

He'd never admit to his brothers or his friends the activities the two of you did in secret, but he loved them. He adored the way you'd take your bullet vibrator and gently run it up and down his length. He couldn't get enough of the way you tugged on his pretty, brown hair or the things you'd whisper into his ear. He loved when you'd get out the strap and have your way with him.

He savored it all so much, in fact, that he'd asked you if the two of you could film it. He'd practically begged for it. Of course, you obliged, unable to say no to him anytime he turned on his submissive charm. You loved the idea of making a video with him, one he'd watch back during his solo activities when you were unavailable.

You were surprised, though. "Aren't you worried Matt or Nick might find it? Or one of your friends?" You'd asked, wrinkling your brow with a puzzled expression on your face. "I'll keep it somewhere safe. No one will ever know," he'd responded, more focused on the reward of filming it and less focused on the possible consequences.

That's how the two of you ended up here - with your favorite toy resting against the sweet boy's tip while he practically dug his fingernails into the sides of the camera as he struggled to keep it stable. You took the vibrating object and started slowly running it up and down a prominent vein on the backside of his shaft.

When you returned to his sensitive head, a sharp whine slipped from his lips as his cock twitched. His big, round eyes flicked up to meet yours, and he gave you the most precious look with tinted pink cheeks, slightly parted lips, and his expression steeped in desire.

"Give me that," you ordered, taking the camcorder from his trembling hands. You pointed it at the blue-eyed boy, not wanting his gorgeous, fucked out features to go undocumented. "Look at you. Such a pretty boy," you cooed, peering down at him through the view finder as he screwed his eyes shut and formed his lips into a perfect o shape. "You look so handsome on camera."

You tilted the lens down at the pearly liquid gathering at his perfect slit. You could tell he was getting close, but you weren't ready to let him cum just yet. You slowed the speed of the vibrations, watching Chris' expression fall as you withdrew the sensation. "Mommy, why are you always so mean to me?" He pouted.

You took the toy and set it off to the side, ignoring his question. "Get on your knees," you directed him as you stood to your feet, pointing the lens of the camera at the blue strap you had harnessed to your body. "Suck it for me, baby," you purred, tilting his chin up with your free hand. He parted his lips to take you in, but he hesitated for a second.

"What's wrong, baby? You love this part," you sweetly asked him, running your manicured nails along his jawline. "Can I please touch myself while I suck on it, mommy?" He wondered. "Sure, you can, but you're not allowed to cum, baby," you replied in a serious voice, and he eagerly nodded. His tongue darted out and he flitted it across the tip.

"Good boy," you murmured, slipping the end of the strap into his mouth as he wrapped his lips around it. His fingers snaked around his shaft, and he started slowly stroking it as he bobbed his head up and down. "Wow. Look at you. You're doing such a good job. You might even suck cock better than I do," you whispered.

He slipped you out of his mouth for a moment and shook his head. "No way, mommy. Not even close," he replied before popping you back into his mouth, knowing that if he had agreed with your original comment, he'd most definitely be punished.

You let out a chuckle, adoring how much control you had over him in these moments. He'd do and say anything to please you. "You take it so well, though, pretty boy," you sweetly answered him, placing your free hand on his head as you drove your hips forward at a rougher pace, eliciting a soft gagging sound from the boy on his knees in front of you.

His hand stroked his cock more fervently as he choked on you, a look of pleasure written on his face as he opened his throat, graciously taking you deeper. You smirked down at him, tightening your grip on his hair and tugging on it as you fucked his pretty mouth, a bit of drool gathering in the corners of his lips.

"Oh, my god, Chris. You were made for this," you commented, looking into his teary bedroom eyes that were fixed on the lens of the camcorder. Your gaze flickering between the real life vision that was playing out in front of you and the perspective through the view finder. "You could be a star."

He sucked on it for a few more minutes, moans escaping him as he tried to keep himself from finishing too early. He switched off between peering up at you and the camera lens as he hollowed out his cheeks, sliding his lips up and down your length.

"Okay, pretty boy. Get on the bed and get on all fours," you demanded, tapping the tip of his nose with your pointer finger in a teasing manner. "Yes, mommy," he replied, his eyes growing wider and his face beaming as he realized you were finally going to give him what he so desperately craved. He turned around and crawled onto the bed.

You opened a bottle of lube with one hand, applied it to your strap, and positioned yourself at his opening. "I made sure I was ready for you, mommy," Chris mumbled, gazing back at the camera. You knew that meant that he must have had some fun with his dildo before he'd come over, and imagining it was enough to have your arousal slowly dripping down the inside of your thigh.

Your lips curled into a smile, and you made sure to capture Chris' reaction as you entered him from the back, his eyes screwing shut and his face contorting in a look of pleasure. His expression softened after the initial stretch and after you'd started gently rocking your hips.

Soft whimpers filled the air as he threw himself back into you, arching his back and tipping back his head at the sensation. His right hand reached up to soothe his aching cock, beginning to move his closed fist up and down his shaft.

You'd bent Chris over many times, but there was something about this particular time that escalated the whole experience. You weren't sure if it was just the way Chris looked on film in the soft lighting, all his features enhanced by the clearness of the image, or if it was the fact that he was really leaning into his desperation, almost putting on a show, and really exaggerating his body movements and the sounds he made.

"You fucking love this, don't you, baby?" You mumbled, admiring the perfect curve of his spine and the way his ass jiggled with every thrust. "I do, mommy. I love being used by you," he whimpered, peering back at you and the technology in your hand.

"I know you love that, sweet boy, but I was talking about being on camera. You just love it, don't you?" He slowly nodded, gripping the sheets beneath him with his free hand. "Good boy. You look so fucking good getting fucked on video," you replied, knowing how much he was getting off on it.

There was something about being recorded - being in the spotlight and being so vulnerable - that drove him wild and made him even more daring. "Give it to me harder, mommy. You know I can take it," he begged in a subservient voice.

You raised your eyebrows at him, knowing this was usually the roughest he could stand, but you couldn't say no to him, looking back at you with his submissive eyes. You nodded as you railed him harder, driving your strap deeper and hitting his pleasure spot over and over. It felt good for you as well, pressure being put on your clit every time you snapped your hips forward.

You could tell Chris was nearing the edge, moans and profanities pouring from him as he went dumb on your silicone cock. "Come on, baby. Smile for Nick and Matt when they find this," you teased him. He snapped his head around, glaring in your direction.

"Hey! That's - that's not - " Chris struggled through his sentence, every thrust of your hips jolting his body forward. "That's not funny," he finally managed to say, making eye contact with the camera before his jaw dropped, and a pretty sound escaped his lips.

You tilted the camcorder back down at Chris' perfectly shaped ass as you delivered a harsh smack, leaving behind a red hand print. He yelped in delight as you slammed into him over and over, his palm brushing against the tip of his dick as his strokes became faster and messier.

"Mommy, I'm gonna cum!" He exclaimed, throwing his head back, arching his spine, and sending his hips back onto you. "Cum for mommy," you softly cooed in response. "Cum for the camera." A smirk tugged at the edge of you lip as Chris came undone for you, his cum spilling from his tip and soaking the sheets beneath the two of you as he finished.

"Good boy. That's it," you gently purred, slowing down your thrusts as Chris slumped over, cheeks flushed and chest heaving as he came down from the whole experience. He rolled over after you'd pulled out of him, a satisfied smile plastered on his face as he tried to look into the camera, fucked out of his mind.

"You did so good, baby," you aimed the camera at his spent cock and the mess he'd made on his abdomen as well as the spot on the bed next to him. He chuckled, covering himself with his hands and becoming a bit embarrassed about how into it he had been, being the star of the video.

"Okay. Kiss the camera, pretty boy," you teased him, shoving the lens into his face, very clearly poking fun at him and his brothers and their early YouTube days when Matt would kiss the camera as their outro. He chuckled and rolled his eyes, still catching his breath. He finally did as you said, raising his head, pressing his lips to the lens, and making a dramatic kissing sound before you ended the scene.

After you and Chris cleaned up and got dressed, the two of you sat at the edge of your bed and played it back. It was a cinematic masterpiece. The lighting was perfect. Chris' moans came through so distinctly, the microphone even picking up his soft pants and subtle tonality changes as he got closer. "Fuck. I know this was your idea, but I kind of want a copy," you smirked, staring down at the video and how pathetic Chris looked and sounded.

"Ah, I think having two of these floating around in existence is a little too risky for my taste," Chris responded, his cheeks turning pink as he grabbed the camera from you. "You can borrow it whenever you want, though," he teased you. "Oh, is that right?" You asked, raising your eyebrows at him before playfully tackling him and taking the camera back.

I sit up a little straighter, shaking my head as I let out a sigh. “It’s… it’s n-”

“Uh-uh,” he tuts, “Just talk to me.” 

I wanna ask, I’m just not sure if I wanna know. Every possibility of them being close made me feel uneasy, almost like I was on a boat, floating and too dazed to do anything but feel sick. I let my palms run on the tops of my thighs. “I - what even happened? Did you two….”

Matt laughs dryly. “You’re worrying for nothing. It…it wasn’t very long. We started talking like a month before I met you… we went out on maybe three dates, never kissed, none of that. Well, one time we hugged and it was awkward as fuck.” 

The corners of my lips tug into a smile. Manon was a very affectionate person, a hug being awkward from her was hysterical. 

“I’m serious,” he says, looking over at me for a quick second before returning his gaze to the road. “Even if I hadn’t met you, I still would’ve broken things off. I like Manon, but just as a friend.” 

Relief pools over my skin. I take a deep breath, savoring how full my lungs feel before sighing. “Really? Sometimes I debate being a lesbian for her,” I joke. 

Matt glares at me from the corner of his eye. He shakes his head in disbelief, turning the car to drive down a dirt path. “That’s not funny,” he says. 

I crinkle my nose as I lean onto his shoulder. “I’d be a lesbian for you if you were a woman,” I announce, pressing a kiss to his cheek before relaxing back into my chair. 

The slight blush covering his face makes my heart beam with pride. I watch as his knuckles turn paler, his hand grasping the wheel tighter. “Stop it,” he murmurs, twisting the ring on his thumb as the car slowly stops.”Let’s just… let’s just go inside.”

___

The cabin was breathtaking. After getting our stuff settled in one room, the sun was already starting to set. Matt sat on the wooden chair next to me on the balcony from the room. I couldn’t help but shift every once in a while, the creaky wood uncomfortable below me. 

“You good?” Matt asks. 

“This fuckin’ chair hurts, how is your boney ass fine?” I huff. 

“How’s my boney ass fine and your–nevermind,” he cuts himself off, his eyes going wide. 

My body freezes from shifting around. I find myself in shock until my eyes squint towards his blushing cheeks. “My what?” I taunt. Quickly shaking his head, Matt refuses to speak. “Have you been looking at my ass? What’re-”

“I’m gonna jump off this balcony if you keep going, oh my god,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

The air whistles, the orange glow more prominent as the sun sinks closer to the horizon. It’s so pretty. 

“Come over here.” 

Matt’s statement catches me off guard. I look over to see him patting his lap, his eyebrow cocked at me as he nudges his head downward. My heart hammers in my chest, my hands clutching onto the wood tighter as I suck in a breath. 

“What do you mean?” I question. 

Matt reaches over, grabbing my wrist gently. “I mean, come sit on my lap. You’ll actually get to enjoy the view instead of moving every five seconds,” he says. 

I hesitantly stand up, walking over to him. Being close isn’t something new, but right now it feels different. We’re alone. Miles away from any sort of interruptions. 

“Are you… are you su - oh,” I yelp, my hands balancing on his chest as he pulls me down into his lap. 

My eyes drift up to meet his, a certain reassurance glimmering in his eyes as he hugs me in closer, nudging his chin towards the view. “I’m sure, dollface. Now, look at the pretty view and stop thinkin’ so much.” 

I let my nails gently caress over his chest, admiring how his breath seems to waver for just a second. His hands cradling me in his lap seem to tug me even closer, his cheek squishing against the crown of my head as I look out to see the orange glow starting to fade. 

It’s so silent, yet so loud. Each wind callusing against my skin keeps me grounded to reality. The patter of his heart in his chest against my hand makes my mind go flat, all my attention surrounding him, surrounding us. 

And I love it. 

___

“Ready?” Matt asks, throwing a towel over his shoulder. I nod, following his footsteps out towards the hot tub in the back, the blue vibrance glistening on his bare skin as he stands in just his swim shorts. 

After watching the view, we still weren’t tired. Matt had suggested this almost immediately, going down and prepping everything while I changed into my swimsuit. I was slightly regretting the choice of swimwear. The air was fucking cold and the simple bikini and T-shirt didn’t do much to help. But then again, what swimsuit would?

“Come in before you freeze,” he laughs. 

Goosebumps are covering my skin. Matt sinks himself into the water, looking out towards the mountains. It’s a mouth-watering sight. His hair is already slightly damp, the silver chain around his neck shimmering in the moonlight. 

“How hot is it even?” I ask, peeling off the shirt and throwing it to the side with our towels. Water splashing from movement is barely audible over the bubbling jets, but a wave of silence after the question makes me look towards him, seeing him staring at me intensely. 

I bite back a smile as I watch his eyes go wide, his throat bobbing as he swallows thickly. “It’s um, it’s uh… sorry, what?” he says, shaking his head as he brings his eyes back to my face. 

The warm water is soothing as I dip my body in. I sit down, my hands hovering over the top bubbles as I snort with a muffled laugh. “First, you’re looking at my ass apparently-”

“Hey!” he exclaims, swatting me with water. His head looks down at the water, his voice quieter, “I’m sorry.” 

He genuinely sounds apologetic. I move closer to him, my shoulder bumping on his as I let my thighs swing over his lap. His hands almost immediately rest on my skin. “It’s okay… I kinda like it,” I whisper, my eyes twinkling up to his for just a second, my nails grazing over the wet skin of his chest. 

“I - really?” he asks, breathlessly as his chest starts to heave for more air. 

I nod slowly, staring directly into his eyes as the water reflects into them. Everything is just so… blue, so calming. 

It feels like a breath of fresh air, the purest I had ever tasted. 

Subconsciously, our bodies seem to lean into each other. As the tips of his nose bumps mine, I feel my lips part, greedy for more air as it seems to get thinner. 

“Can I k–”

“Kiss me already,” I interrupt. 

Matt’s hand curls around the back of my neck, his nose pressing into my cheek as he tilts his head to the side. 

His lips meet mine with passion, full of energy as he moves his mouth against mine. My stomach twirls with butterflies, traveling up into my chest as I stable myself with his shoulder. 

This feels good. The other kiss was also good, but this was different. This was passion, this was desperate. 

His hand floats back down to my thigh, groping the skin under the water as he leans even further into me. I let the water carry me towards him, straddling him as I plant myself down in his lap. 

“Oh shit,” he husks, breaking away from the kiss as I feel it, feel him. 

It’s instinct. I let my hips shift, grinding his hard length into my core. The layers blocking between us feel so thin, the subtle movement of him chasing his hips upwards making me grasp harder onto his shoulders. 

As our eyes meet, I see a hint of hesitation in his eyes. “What’s wrong? Do you not want this?” I ask, slightly lifting myself up. 

Matt’s hands hold my hips tightly, keeping me in place as I try to sit down next to him. “No, I just… I want you to be completely sure. I don’t want this to be a heat of the moment kind of thing,” he huffs, looking to the side. 

I grab his chin softly, redirecting his gaze back to me, “Matt,” he bites on his lip as he looks at me intently, “I am sure. I’m sure about all of it.” 

“What about Hayden? What about Manon? It’s… I just don’t want this to only be here, when we’re alone,” he mutters. 

My heart pounds with overbearing emotions, my hands clasping on either side of his face as I make him look directly into my eyes. 

“I… I wasn’t sure then, but I am now. Nothing’s ever felt so right - or effortless. Manon and you… I understand why everything happened the way it did. You make me feel secure, you always have, it hasn’t changed how I feel. And Hayden…” I sigh, rubbing my thumb over his beard stubble, “Hayden can go fuck himself.” 

Matt smiles proudly at my remark. “Atta girl,” he praises, his hands massaging my hips as I blush at the words of endearment. 

“I’m serious,” I announce, feeling the words with every part of my soul, “I don’t care about anything as long as I have you. No matter how much chaos it is, I just…” 

Matt leans forward, his lips placing gentle kisses on my collarbone. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.” My hands tangle in his hair as he starts to suck gently as the skin. I feel the slight vibration of his hum against me, his teeth slightly nibbling into me. “Fuck, you don’t know what you’re doin’ to me, sweetheart,” he purrs. 

Sweetheart. Fuck. 

My body reacts before I can process a single thing. My hands tighten in his hair, my hips rocking as I lower myself back onto his lap. I feel his hands squeeze on my hips, a slight laugh echoing through the air. 

“You really like that name, huh?” he tuts. 

As I go to respond, a sharp gasp pushes through my lips, the feeling of his hardness gliding up against my core making me run speechless. 

“C’mon, I wanna hear you say it,” he urges, his hands traveling up my sides, his palms resting over my ribcage as his thumbs swivel directly below my breasts. 

I want him to touch me. I want him to touch me so bad. My mind feels numb, every inch of my skin burning with desire as I tilt my head to give him more access. “I love it.” 

His tongue glides over the freshly made mark. “Oh, you love it, huh…” 

Fuck. The tone of his voice is driving me insane, each movement from his lips and hands making me nothing but a puddle of bliss. I feel like I’m melting, completely palpable to his touch, being worshipped by his adoration and the moonlight at the same time. 

“God,” I breathe, my hands scratching into his scalp as his lips find my sweet spot. Matt hums against my neck, sucking even harder as my thighs tense with pleasure. 

“What do you… what do you want, baby?” he asks, completely breathless as he lays sloppy kisses down my neck, “-what can I give you, hm?”

My mouth draws open as I feel the ache between my legs grow with intensity. “I… want you. All of you, I - please,” I whine. 

“Yeah?” he taunts, his hand traveling behind my back hesitantly fiddling with the straps of my bikini top, “-want me to fuck you under the stars?” 

Even his words make my body tense with twists of knots and pleasure. I nod quickly, shrugging off the straps of my bikini top as I let him slide it off my body. My nipples perk in the cold air, his hand caressing underneath my breast as he attaches his lips to the bud. 

His eyes peek up at me as he suctions his mouth on the sensitive skin. I bite on my lower lip, my heart dropping to the pit of my gut as I watch his tongue swirl around before sloppily licking over my chest. 

My hips grind down into his lap more desperately with each lap of his tongue. Matt groans against me, struggling to keep his attention on my chest as he lets himself move to meet my actions. 

“I don’t… don’t have a condom,” he pants. 

I reach downward, tugging at the hem of his shorts, “Don’t care. I need you, need you now. Let’s… worry later.” 

Matt seethes as I pull out his hard length. His fingers dig into either side of my waist as I gently rub along his tip with my thumb, guiding it over the bridge of my swim bottoms. “Please, fuck.” 

His whimper seems to make me even more desperate. I slide his tip under the fabric, not bothering to take the swimsuit off. 

Our breaths catch at the same time, our eyes meeting as I feel him bare against me. Matt’s hands on my hips gently push me down onto his length, the stretch making me arch into him as I let my head fall onto his shoulder.

“Mmmmm,” he moans, cradling the back of my head as he gently rocks his hips up, bottoming out inside of me. 

Every part of my body feels like lava, warm and palpable with pure euphoria. I start to grind myself onto him, shrieking as I feel him rut up into me. 

“Does - it - feel - fuckkkkkkk,” he gasps, “-tightening around me so fucking good, sweetheart. I - shit,” he seethes, his thrusts becoming rhythmic as I start to kiss along his neck. 

Cries of pleasure spill from my lips as I clutch onto him. The knot in the pit of my stomach grows with each languid thrust, the closeness of our bodies making me feel completely at peace. 

It’s more than physical. 

“Matt, I…” 

“Shhhh, shhh,” he soothes, placing a hand on the small of my back as he pushes me to arch even further into him, the new angle making my eyes roll back while my thighs tense. Matt keeps me in place, making the overbearing pleasure even more intense. “Just let it feel good. Let - let me make you feel good.” 

It’s more than good. My body starts to helplessly writhe, pinned in place as he makes me feel every single thing. 

“Gonna - I - Matt-” 

Matt holds me even closer, kissing my temple as he whispers, “You got it, c’mon, I - I’m right behind you, doll.” 

Waves of euphoria crash over me. My legs practically vibrate as I feel myself convulse around him, sparks of white clouding my vision as I feel his cum spill inside of me. 

Uncertainty lingered on my tongue as my teeth pinched into my cheek. Manon clasps her palms over her knees, looking up at me with an unreadable expression. “I…” she trails off, her hands twirling around a piece of hair that falls over her shoulder, “-I should’ve told you sooner, but I… it shouldn’t affect anything with you two together. Matt - he told me to tell you and I said I did, but then he found out and I-” 

“Found out what? Just - just tell me,” I urge, breathless and confused. 

“Remember the party I dragged you to?” she questions. Three months ago. The party I met him at, sitting on those stairs, waiting for Manon to let me meet her mystery guy.

“Yeah… you never told me what happened though. How does that correlate to anything now? You…” My eyes fall to the ground, details locking together in a puzzle. 

She didn’t introduce me to the guy. Manon said she saw him flirting with another girl, and even though they weren’t official, he had never seemed that interested in her - not as much as he was with the mystery girl. 

I had spent that night floating in euphoria. Well, up until I had to hold Manon as she cried in my arms, she was so upset that it was yet another guy who just wasn’t the one. 

“I’m sorry, I… it wasn’t because of you or him. It was just… “

“It was me,” I remark, my eyes glossing over as I look at the wall. She didn’t show me pictures of the guys she talked to, I didn’t know, I couldn't have. “The girl, it was me.” 

Oh. 

It was me. I was the reason he broke things off with her the next day, I was the reason she was crying in my arms. 

It was all because of me.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I - I wouldn’t have done anything and -” My voice wavers with emotions. Manon scooches towards me on the couch, pulling me into a tight hug. 

“You didn’t need to know. I knew you and Hayden wouldn’t last, I wasn’t even upset that you wanted him, I was just… I didn’t want you to have another reason to hold back,” she whispers, clutching me tighter as I feel a warm tear strike down my face, “-I was only upset because it was just disappointing. He was a nice guy, but I think I knew deep down he wasn’t for me.”

My mind is reeling, my palms are getting clammy as I hug her back lightly. “This… it’s wrong,” I point out, shaking my head as I try to pull away to look at her. 

“No,” she soothes, pulling me in closer, “-it’s wrong I didn’t tell you sooner. And I’m sorry, you have every right to be upset. I just… I didn’t wanna pull you away from one of the only things that could make you happy. Truly.” 

Silence consumes the room. All I can hear is my thoughts running wild, my heart pounding in my chest so hard it might burst through my bones. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know what to feel. 

It’s just too much. 

___

The air was soft with silence but the energy was loud, anxiety pulsating throughout the room as I stared down at Matt who had shifted to his knees on the floor in front of me. 

His knees. 

“Please. Just… let’s go on this trip. See what this is, just me and you. Please,” he begs, holding my hands in his as he gazes up at me with glossy eyes. 

I can’t think. Part of me knows something isn’t right, but it also knows that it’s not necessarily wrong. I just don’t know. 

Letting out a sigh, I shake my head from side to side, watching as Matt’s face falls with sadness even more. “It - this is a lot. I… I don’t even know how to feel, Matt. This is - it’s too much,” I voice. 

Insecurity drips from my shaking tone. Matt’s warm hands callus mine softly in his hold, his lips pecking onto my knuckles. “I broke things off with her the day that I met you. I’ve known I’ve wanted you from the very start and I… I don’t wanna have to keep letting you go for the sake of convenience. I just - I need this chance. Please,” he begs, his voice almost a whisper as he rests his forehead on my hand. 

He’s known since the very start. Something about that makes me feel so… secure. Patiently and quietly, he waited, caring for me in any way he could until the pieces fell into the right place. 

What more harm could be done?

Hayden wasn’t gonna shut up about me. Manon truly did seem to mean it when she said she was only upset she didn’t tell me sooner. 

Maybe I need to push us in the right direction for once, maybe I need to take the leap of faith and let my heart guide my head instead of taking the same, familiar, heavy steps that felt like a routine of sadness. 

I drop my hands from his hold. Matt freezes. “I’ll go,” I say, tangling my fingers through his hair as I guide him to look at me. And god - I hope my eyes say the words I can’t seem to gather on my tongue.