if you’re worried that you’re faking clap you hands!

having a system is exhausting! and the future pretty daunting!

if your brain just keeps exploding clap your hands!

As with many disciplines, kindness may come more easily to some than to others. But it is nonetheless something you can learn, something you can teach, something you can work at.

By: Buddy Project

It can be scary when you're going through a panic attack, but you can manage it, and you're not alone.

Breathe. I know, I know, it can be hard, but it really works my friend! Inhale for 4 seconds, hold that breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds!

Recognize that you're having a panic attack. Once you know what's happening, it can bring you back down to Earth a little quicker.

Try to focus your attention on someone or something. Taking your mind off of your panic can soothe you. Focus on your hands and take a deep breath.

If possible, listen to music. Any song that makes you happy, or any song that makes you feel calm.

Step away from your current situation. Backing away and grounding yourself can do wonders. Many people around can overstimulate you and make you feel even more yucky.

Drink some water. Hydrating yourself can help you calm down fast.

Talk to someone. If communication calms you down, talk to someone and let it out. Everyone's different.

Practice grounding techniques. Counting until you feel calmer, tracing your hand, whatever technique that grounds you, do it.

Go outside. For some, fresh air can ease the mind. Focus on the sounds outside, and feel the ground.

Close your eyes. Plug your ears if you have too. Give your eyes a break and breathe in and out.

Every experience is different, and not all of these tips may help you. That's ok! What's important is to know that you're not alone and you can find a technique that will help you.

Not a single person:

Literally not a soul:

don’t insult yourself. it seems like you’re looking to make them feel bad for you. it also makes it look like you’re playing victim. (ex: “i’m a shitty person.” “i should just die.” “i’m just stupid.”)

say, for example, “i feel like you dislike me” instead of “you dislike me.” you don’t actually know how they feel and being accusatory like that is a huge turn off.

when apologizing, make it genuine. don’t bring up how you feel and instead apologize for how you made the other person feel. how you feel can be brought up later.

remind people that you genuinely want to get better and tell them to call you out when you exhibit problematic behavior.

I think that persistence matters more than anything else. I’ve heard people say that it takes 28 days for someone to acquire a new habit. I think it takes longer when you’re dealing with dissociation. You just have to keep at it and not give up. 

I use a lot of reminders in a lot of formats. Physical sticky notes, google keep, daylio reminders, google calendar reminders, phone alarms, etc. 

Try to stage your environment for success while you are present. If you are working on getting parts to brush their teeth twice a day, put your toothbrush and toothpaste out on the counter where it’s clearly visible and can be a visual cue. If you’re working on healthy eating habits, have options that are appealing and accessible to all parts. Not everyone in my system knows how to cook a healthy meal and not everyone in my system is willing to eat a greek yogurt smoothie, so we need options. 

If you have a part who is hindering your progress, take the time to unpack that if you can. See if you can get in touch with them and find out why they object the healthy habits. If you’re dealing with objections like “I just don’t like it” or “I just don’t want to” that genuinely don’t come from any kind of real concern, I think it’s best to just express empathy and understanding the same way that good parents do when they are teaching their children about healthy habits. You can say things like “Having an early bedtime is a bummer. I understand that you’re mad, but sleep is really important and we feel so much better when we get good sleep. This is really important.” 

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation is loaded with information on working on various healthy habits like sleep, eating, and balancing work and leisure. There’s a lot more information there.