stan uris hours

i’m still thinking abt those two great tragedies i was talking abt in the tags on that post, but specifically i’m thinking about eddie now & how he just. like oh my fucking god the best part of his life was the summer he and his friends nearly died at the hands of a child-eating clown like this is a boy who was absolutely fucking terrified of getting sick from touching a subway pole & says “i mean he’s bleeding all over and you guys know there’s an aids epidemic out there as we speak right” and still dedicates himself to patching ben up, this is a boy who knows mike’s name when no-one else does, this is a boy who gets his arm broken following his friends into a fucking crackhouse where a murder clown (who he saw at that house already, first as his greatest fear, basically a walking infection, and then as the clown with Those Inverted Triangle Balloons) lives and still stands up to his abusive mother to follow them right back in there because they need him like!! he is so brave & has a heart that’s too big for his body, filled to the fucking brim with love for his friends and an absolute loyalty that transcends fear and trauma when it counts, and for what! so he could live 27 years forgetting what he recognised his relationship with his mother as? so he could relive his same toxic relationship over and over, so his own chance to reckon with and claim his identity and selfhood could be repressed by some fucking forgetfulness cloud, so he could finally get a chance to see clearly again, a chance to finally get to find his peace, his life, a chance to find out who eddie kaspbrak is when he’s actually fucking happy, just for it to be taken away right at the end? eddie kaspbrak is good & loyal & helpful & brave, so fucking brave, because he’s not fearless but he steps forward anyway when his friends need him, because when he’s allowed the chance to remember, he learns from his experiences and mistakes, and i am so, so angry & upset that he didn’t get the chance to do that with the rest of his life. that he didn’t get to keep the promise stan asked for, that he didn’t even get to read stan’s letter, that the last words he ever got from one of his best friends was as a child. idk man i’m feeling rly scraped out and raw over eddie kaspbrak

do i love stanley uris or am i just projecting my fear of losing my friends and the impermanence of reality while growing up