The Stagehand Lounge

When you realize that today's Lighting designer is one that you've worked with before and they make you wonder why people are still hiring them but you try to keep an open mind and hope things will go well and your load in that should have been 2 hours turns into 6...

When the shop sends you muddy step units to a corporate show and all you have is gaff tape.

So I get called into a local school to help them get their wireless mics working again. They claim the receivers are fried. I look through and swap cables and find that the IEC connection is just barely out. Plug back in and everything works. Is it plugged in? Is it turned on?

Gotta love when you are a few months out from the run of a show you are TD for and you talk to the producers and board about show times and load in dates and rehearsal schedules and they say "all 7:30 shows". Yesterday I took a gander at the poster and see "11/27 @2:30 pm". Go to producer and director and artistic director. Me:"so we are doing a matinee tomorrow? " Producer:" we are doing a matinee tomorrow" Me: "great... Let me unrelease the crew and let them know..."

So the headliner didn't show up for the oldies festival so an opener played a second set and one of my spot ops didn't show up so without me knowing until like 5 minutes into the show I was calling cues and realized that the same voice was responding for both calls. One guy ran both spots flawlessly. And by the way, he is only a spot op for 2 weekends out of the year. What could have been a disaster went perfect.

Why do concert goers come up to me at front of house to bother me, the lighting guy about audio and ask me how expensive my rig is, and how I got into this line of work,and tell me to get a real job, and distract me from running a show? I'm behind bike rack for a reason.

Has anyone ever realized that dancers with tap shoes on sound like horses on a cobblestone streets? I just had 20 walk by me and my first thought was, the Queen's carriage must be coming

To the dance moms, Those of you who yell at the house staff for enforcing simple rules like costume changes need to be done in the supplied stations or dressing rooms,and no food or drink allowed backstage except water, and actual shoes must be worn backstage, get off of your high horse. You are not special and in fact, the rules do apply to you. The rules are there to protect your child and the space. I don't want to clean up after you or fill out accident reports because of your lack of intelligence and ability to follow simple rules. And putting your soda in your purse does not make it magically leave my stage. Her father cannot go to the dressing rooms with or without your daughter. We have security stopping them because we are protecting them from creeps and potential pedophiles. Next time you call me a fucking asshole or a waste of human life I will have you escorted out of the building, take your picture and give it to all of the ushers. When you come back in we will call the police and have them deal with you. Don't make extra work for me. I would rather deal with politicians than have to police your stuck up ass. Even Donald trump is better than you. Just follow the damn rules and stop being so vain. You are a terrible role model for your daughters and sons. We are professionals here that have it easier working with self absorbed rockstars than your snotty personality. Grow up. Be a good role model. Start following the rules, you are not exempt from them. Let me do my job. Learn how to read because obviously you weren't able to read any of the signs that were posted as you entered the stage and left the dressing rooms. No sincerity, Me

I survived a minimally advanced political town hall meeting. Nobody knew anything and we turned out a good production. I don't care for politics or politicians very much but not only did I get a pat on the back from the news crew, my bosses I got a pat on the back from secret service, the campaign,and the news anchor. I am going to take today off.

Yay I am advancing a politician's town hall meeting which literally was decided this morning. Please save me!

So we just got a nice collection of hog 3 accessories. USB DMX widgets, USB fader wings and a programming wing. Programming shows offline just got so much easier!

I got a lovely call last week from my boss asking why I didn't show up for work that day. I was on my way to a show he put me on and had me draft out the entire rig. That was the most confusing phone call I have ever had.

We all make mistakes and having to replace a wireless mic antenna mid show with a short time frame is not a good idea. At least it was minor and I'm not the cause of a safety sticker. Also I suck at fast soldering. And this is why you should always have a spare.

So the school district near me went green and put CFL lamps in the house lights! What in all that is holy did they think they were doing??!?!? I CAN'T FADE THOSE! THE HOUSE LIGHTS ARE NOW USELESS AS TITS ON A BULL! rant over.

At last my desk is complete! Thank every God for touchscreen HD monitors!

One of my coworkers who has been showing up late constantly, always complaining about working, got hurt on the job but refuses to see a doctor about it and is rude to clients, patrons and his bosses. He after this job he pretty much will have to resort to freelancing or bar gigs. He has worked at every major venue and employer in our industry in town and has left on bad terms. He doesn't realize it but he will soon hit the end of the road. And the worst part is he is so self centered and high on his horse that he will do what he always does, he will blame the world for his situation. I can't stand people who don't fess up to their own downfall.

So about a month ago our venue was host to a few canine officers for training. One found our A+B flash powder. Now we no longer have A+B flash powder. Apparently small amounts of flash powder is considered a dangerous explosive to the local law enforcement. Worst part was that they didn't send us a video of the disposal like we requested.