i am changed by the expierience by the loss of former self by the abuse i suffered i no longer sugarcoat things in order to please ears nor eyes of my tormentor i no longer care whenever you did this on purpose or not and i do take full responsibility for my naivety for my empty idealism for my blind faith if i could take back time i would't because without these wounds i wont be the same stripped of illusion forced to watch and see clothed in purpose weaved from bitter truths if u're reading this (but you probably not) i dispise you i no longer see virtue in rejecting negative feelings towards someone who broke me into pieces im disgusted by everything i ever did to/for you not by myself but by you embodiment of decay which you gradually stirred within me forgetting that if old dies new is born if u're reading this (but you probably not) i'd love you to know what follows: soon you will be but dust of regret under my feet and i'll step over you and pass you by you were always pathetic, unfunny and lazy i'm doing so much better i smile so much more i do things i never could with you looking over my shoulder, inspecting and controlling my ever move i meet so many, beautiful people; laugh with them; drink wine; make plans for the future endeavors people who knew me before you said: welcome back i didn't correct them but it wasn't H E R anymore