im scared of casual sex because if u fuck me too good i’m gonna say i love u and then what

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im scared of casual sex because if u fuck me too good i’m gonna say i love u and then what

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!nerdjo x reader | part 6
Exam stress leads to a late night horny decision. Everything is going great, until the guy in the video starts sounding a little too familiar
part 1 here! . part 2 here! . part 3 here! . part 4 here! part 5 here!
cr: 3vangel1ne_ on X
Before you read, I’m going to be completely honest: this was barely proofread. Sorry in advance! I’ll go back and edit it later if I find any typos
If you like listening to music while reading, I recommend this!
-
“Were you filming yourself while thinking about me, Satoru?”
The words hit him like a punch to the chest, knocking the air out of his lungs.
His heart slammed against his ribs so hard he was certain you could hear it. His mouth went dry instantly. Between the two of you, the phone screen glowed like a live grenade on the coffee table; his own wrecked, pathetic voice still spilling from the speakers, mocking him with every confession.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He wanted to disappear. He wanted the floor to open and swallow him whole. He wanted to grab the phone and throw it out the window. Or throw himself out the window. But the worst part — the most humiliating, soul-crushing part — was that he was already getting hard again. A slow, shameful throb in his sweatpants, triggered simply by the way you were looking at him.
“I…” His voice cracked immediately. He swallowed but his throat was tight with rising panic. He forced himself to look at you.
Big mistake.
You were sitting on his couch like you belonged there, legs crossed, watching him systematically fall apart with an expression he couldn’t quite decipher.
You reached forward and tapped the screen, silencing the video. The sudden quiet was deafening. The absence of his own moans left only the sound of his ragged breathing and the frantic beating of his heart.
“You what, Satoru?” you asked, your voice deceptively soft.
The heat crawled up his neck, burning his ears a deep, painful crimson. He could feel sweat gathering at the back of his neck. His mind was a storm of static and shame.
She knows.
She knows I came in my pants like a pathetic loser in that hallway.
She heard me begging.
She knows I’ve been jerking off to her for months while pretending to be normal in class.
She knows exactly how disgusting I am.
“I—Yes” he whispered finally. The word tasted like surrender. He dragged a hand through his messy white hair, pulling at the roots as if he could yank the thoughts right out of his brain. His mind was a labyrinth of static and shame.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the sight of you, but the image of you was burned into his retinas. When he opened them, you were still there. Still watching. Still judging.
“I tried to stop,” he continued, his voice dropping to a low, fractured mutter. “After the first time, I—no. Fuck. That sounds like an excuse. I’m just making it worse.”
His cock twitched traitorously against the cloth, a sharp, stinging reminder of how badly he wanted to be at your feet. He shifted in the chair, a futile attempt to hide it, though he knew with agonizing certainty that you had noticed. He looked up, his blue eyes glassy, shimmering with a desperate vulnerability.
“I’m sorry” he muttered “I know how fucked up this is. You must think I’m disgusting. Some creep who’s been jerking off to you for months while borrowing your notes like nothing was wrong.”
The silence that followed was torture. Every second stretched painfully. His pulse thundered in his ears. He felt stripped bare, raw, and completely at your mercy. And, in a way that made him hate himself even more, he found that he absolutely craved the feeling.
He swallowed hard, his throat clicking, his gaze dropping to his lap where the bulge in his pants was becoming impossible to ignore. He felt so exposed it was killing him.
“I’ll delete the channel,” he said, the words tumbling out of him, desperate and jagged. He looked up again, his eyes wide and pleading, searching yours for any sign of mercy. “I’ll delete everything. All of it. Just… please, don’t hate me.”
He waited for the rejection. He braced himself for you to stand up, to leave, to call him a freak—anything would have been easier than this terrifying, steady gaze of yours.
“No” you tilted your head “That would be such a waste, don’t you think?”
His brain short-circuited.
For a second he just stared at you, lips parted, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. The words didn’t compute at first. His heart was hammering so violently he felt dizzy.
She said… waste?
A violent shiver ran down his spine. His cock, already half-hard and traitorously interested, gave a full twitch inside his sweatpants. He hated how his body reacted before his brain could even process it.
“You…” His voice came out hoarse, almost broken. “W-What?”
Inside his head, the thoughts were screaming.
She knows everything. She saw me crying in the shower like a pathetic whore begging for her. She heard me say I wanted her to sit on my face in the hallway. And she’s saying it would be a waste to delete it?
Heat flooded his face so intensely he was sure he looked feverish. Shame burned through him, thick and nauseating, but underneath it — god, underneath it — there was a sick, desperate spark of hope. Of want.
You stood up slowly.
His breath caught in his throat as he watched you rise from the couch. You rounded the coffee table, and instinctively, he turned in his chair to keep you in sight. By the time you stopped in front of him, towering over his seated form, he had to tilt his head back to meet your eyes.
You leaned down, one hand resting lightly on the back of his neck. Your breath ghosted on the other side of his head, just against his ear
“You’ve spent so much time performing for me, Satoru,” you whispered, voice velvety. “Begging for me in front of a camera…”
He leaned forward slightly, almost unconsciously, like his body was begging to get closer to you.
You continued, lips brushing the shell of his ear.
“Don’t you think it’s time you do it in my face?”
Then you slowly pulled back. His heart dropped as you walked around the coffee table and sat down on the couch again, facing him directly. The distance felt both relieving and agonizing.
Your gaze dropped for a second to his lap, then back up to his face. You bit your lip.
“Show me” you said quietly.
Satoru’s brain malfunctioned.
“W-what…?”
“Touch yourself,” you said. “Right now. In front of me. And tell me everything you’ve been thinking about when you do it.”
The room spun.
Satoru stared at you, mouth dry, heart thundering so hard he felt dizzy. He looked at you with wide, glassy eyes — desperate, ashamed, and so painfully turned on it hurt.
“I’ve been watching your videos for the last two weeks, Satoru,” you said, voice steady and clear. “Touching myself while listening to you moan. Cumming harder than I ever have in my life. I’ve been driving myself crazy thinking you were talking about some other girl. And I suffered because of it.” You leaned forward slightly, eyes locked on his. “So now you’re going to touch yourself in front of me. Right now.”
Satoru’s brain imploded.
She… subscribed?
The realization hit him like a freight train. All this time… you had been there. His mouth fell open. His eyes widened in pure, devastating shock.
It was you.
The question about the molecule on his hoodie. The way you suggested vancomycin for the project without hesitation.
You had known for weeks. And instead of exposing him or hating him… you had been getting off to it.
He didn’t even have time to process it when you spoke again
“Touch. Yourself” you commanded, your voice cutting through his stupor like a whip.
He didn't need to be told a third time. His obedience was instantaneous, a desperate reflex born from the knowledge that you had seen every pathetic, broken moment of his obsession. With fingers that felt thick and clumsy with adrenaline, he untied the drawstring of his sweatpants.
The moment he freed himself, his flushed, aching cock sprang out, heavy and leaking at the tip. He looked up at you, pupils blown wide with shame and lust, silently begging for any sign of mercy.
But what he found was far worse.
You were biting your lip, eyes dark and fixed on his cock, as if the sight genuinely delighted you.
That was enough. A broken whimper tore from his throat before he could stop it. His hand finally wrapped around his throbbing length, and the first stroke pulled another pathetic sound out of him, his head dropping forward, white hair falling over his eyes and the thin frame of his glasses as he tried to hide from your gaze.
“Look at me” your voice was calm but firm. “If you had no problem saying those filthy things on camera while thinking about me, then you can say them to my face, Satoru.”
Satoru let out a shaky, humiliated sob. Slowly, he lifted his head, forcing himself to meet your eyes.
His hand started moving, slow and trembling.
“I… every time you walked into class…” he whispered, voice cracking, “I couldn’t stop staring at your legs… fuck— I kept imagining them wrapped around my head…”
“Faster.”
Satoru whimpered and obeyed instantly, his hand speeding up.
“Your face… You’re so pretty— ahh— I’d cum thinking about you looking down at me while I eat you out…”
“Slow down.”
He let out a desperate noise but obeyed, slowing his strokes to a torturous pace, hips twitching helplessly.
“I thought about your tits constantly… how soft they’d feel… how much I wanted to bury my face between them and suck on you until my tongue gets sore…”
“Squeeze the head” you murmured.
Satoru gasped sharply, thumb pressing over the sensitive head on every upstroke, precum dripping over his fingers.
“I kept wondering if you— fuck— if it would’ve fit…”
“Faster again. Keep going.”
His hand immediately picked up speed, strokes becoming frantic.
“Your voice… how smart you are… the way you explain things in class like it’s nothing, it— it turned me on so much”
His thighs were shaking now. He was dangerously close.
“And your perfume… I could smell it every time you walked past me… it made me so fucking hard I wanted to drop to my knees and bury my face between your legs right there— Fuck— I can’t—”
“Stop, Satoru.”
The command hit him like a bucket of ice water.
He let out a broken, pained whimper. His hand froze around his throbbing cock, right on the edge. Every muscle in his body tensed as he fought the overwhelming urge to keep going. His hips twitched desperately, trying to chase the friction, but he forced himself to stay still. Tears slipped down his flushed cheeks. The effort was inhuman. His cock pulsed angrily in his hand, leaking steadily, begging for release.
You stood up slowly. Satoru stayed exactly where he was, hand still wrapped around himself, trembling violently as he fought not to cum. He watched you kick the small coffee table aside with a harsh scrape. Then you stepped between his spread knees, towering over him.
Gently, you slid his glasses off his face and perched them atop his messy white hair before leaning down until your faces were only inches apart.
“Cum” you whispered against his lips.
Then you kissed him.
The contact was the final spark on a fuse. He let out a wrecked, muffled moan directly into your mouth. Thick, heavy ropes of cum spilled over his hand and onto his hoodie in powerful, uncontrollable spurts. His whole body shook violently as he kissed you back with desperate need, whimpering and whining against your lips with every pulse.
When the last spasm finally faded, you pulled back slightly. You lowered his glasses back onto his nose with careful fingers. He could barely focus — his vision was blurry, his mind completely blank.
“You don’t know how much I want to fuck you Satoru…” you murmured, brushing your fingers along his jaw. “All I want is to sink down on your cock right here… but you’ve been a really bad boy.”
Satoru let out a broken, needy moan at your words. The confession hit him like a punch to the gut. You wanted him. You actually wanted to fuck him. The thought made his spent cock twitch weakly in his hand.
“So we’re going to do this slowly,” you whispered, your thumb stroking his bottom lip. “And you’ll be rewarded like the good boy I know you can be. Yeah?”
He could only nod weakly, completely fucked out. His mind was blank, his body still trembling, eyes glassy with exhaustion and overwhelming emotion.
You straightened up, gave him one final look, and turned around, leaving him there — hand still weakly wrapped around his spent cock, covered in his own mess, completely ruined.
—
Leaving Satoru’s dorm took far more self-control than you expected. The second the door clicked shut behind you, your legs felt weak. You leaned against the wall in the hallway for a moment, heart still racing, thighs pressed together as you tried to calm the throbbing between them.
Sitting in front of him, you realized that the camera had done him zero justice. In person he was so much thicker, longer and prettier, with veins that mapped all his length in beautiful lines. The memory of how that thick, pulsing length felt in your mind, and the impossible size of him made your stomach drop. You could almost feel the phantom of his cock opening you up, the exquisite, sharp pain of being filled by someone who wanted you that badly.
And you had made him cum just from your voice and a kiss.
The memory made your mouth water like a bitch in heat.
By the time you reached your dorm, you were so soaked it was uncomfortable. You locked the door, stripped down to nothing, and touched yourself furiously on your bed, replaying the sounds he made when he came — those broken, desperate whimpers right against your lips. You came twice that night thinking about him, no video needed.
The next day in class, when you saw him walk in wearing that stupid vancomycin hoodie, you were fighting for your life.
You wanted to drag him into the nearest empty classroom and ride him so hard neither of you could walk for days. You wanted to push him against the wall and take that thick, heavy cock in your mouth, feeling his hands tangle in your hair while you worked him until his knees buckled. You wanted to hear him lose his mind, to make him beg, to hear the exact moment your name turned into a plea.
But you held back.
You wanted him desperate. You wanted him to be just as hollowed out and starving as you had been, shivering in your bed while you watched his videos, consumed by the agonizing, burning jealousy of wondering who else he was touching himself for.
So you stayed cruel.
You ignored the way he looked at you in the hallways with those big, pleading blue eyes. You ignored how he seemed to hover near your usual seat, body language practically screaming for a sign, for a touch, for a reason to snap. Every time you walked past him, feeling his gaze tracking you, you tightened your thighs, reminded of how easily you could break him.
The days dragged on like that. Torture for both of you.
Until Friday night, when you finally picked up your phone and typed the message.
Tomorrow 6pm? For the project. My dorm.
You hit send. Then you watched the little typing… bubble appear.
Disappear.
Reappear.
Disappear again.
Nearly a minute passed before your phone buzzed.
I’ll be there
—
By the time Satoru knocked on your door at 6pm on Saturday, you had already decided how the night was going to go.
You opened the door wearing nothing but a thin white tank top with no bra and tiny black pajama shorts. The moment he saw you, his eyes widened, dropping straight to your chest, then to your bare thighs. He swallowed hard.
“Come in” you said calmly, stepping aside.
He walked into your dorm like he was entering sacred ground. His eyes darted around — the desk covered in notes, the photos on the wall, the faint scent of vanilla hanging in the air. He looked nervous.
It was endearing.
For the first hour, you actually made him work. You explained papers, pointed at diagrams, asked him questions. He tried his best to focus, but you could see the way his eyes kept drifting to your chest, the way he shifted uncomfortably every few minutes.
You loved how hard he was trying.
You leaned in closer, pressing your soft tits against his arm as you pointed at something on the laptop.
“You’re doing so good, Toru…” you murmured near his ear. “Keeping focused even though you’re already so hard for me.”
He let out a shaky breath, the little nickname breaking something inside him.
You kept teasing him like that — small touches, pressing your body against him, whispering praise while talking about the project. By the time you finally closed the laptop, he was breathing heavily, cheeks flushed, cock visibly straining against his sweatpants.
“Come with me?” you said softly.
You led him into your bedroom, the air suddenly thick and stifling. The only light came from your bedside lamp, casting shadows across the sheets—the very same sheets you’d ruined yourself on multiple times watching him.
Satoru stood in the center of the room, looking like a man standing on the edge of a cliff desperate to jump.
“Close the door, Satoru” you said
He obeyed instantly, the click of the lock sounding like a gavel. He turned back to you, his blue eyes blown wide, searching your face behind his glasses.
“You haven’t said a word since you got here, aside from chem stuff” you remarked, stepping closer. “Are you enjoying the torture? Is that what this is for you?”
“It—It’s not torture,” he rasped, his voice rough “I just— I can’t breathe. I’ve been thinking about you all day, all week”
You stopped right in front of him, looking up at his tall frame.
“Tell me, Satoru…” you said softly, reaching up to brush your fingers along his jaw. “What do you want to do to me? Say it.”
He swallowed hard, struggling to get the words out.
“I… I want to drop to my knees and bury my face between your legs,” he whispered, voice trembling. “I want to taste you until you’re pulling my hair and telling me I’m doing good”
He was breathing faster now, clearly humiliated by his own honesty, but he kept going.
“I want to feel how tight you are around me. I want to hear you moan my name while I fill you up…”
His voice cracked at the end, eyes dropping to the floor in embarrassment.
You smiled softly, heart racing with satisfaction. Without saying anything, you turned around and walked slowly toward your nightstand, giving him a perfect view of your ass in those tiny shorts.
“And what do you want to do to my pussy, mmh?” you asked over your shoulder
You opened the drawer and retrieved your new toy—thick, realistic, and a little oversized. You’d bought it with one purpose in mind: to stretch yourself out until you could finally handle him
You turned around, holding the toy in your hand, and climbed onto the bed. You sat against the headboard, legs slightly parted, and looked at him.
Satoru’s eyes were glued to the dildo. His mouth was open, cheeks burning red. He looked completely overwhelmed.
With your eyes fixed on him, you hooked your thumb into the waistband of your shorts and panties, sliding them down your legs in one smooth motion. You tossed them aside and spread your legs slowly, exposing your glistening pussy to him.
You extended the dildo toward him.
“Come show me,” you said softly, voice dripping with need. “Show me exactly what you want to do to me, Satoru.”
Satoru froze. For several long seconds he just stared, completely stunned. His mouth fell open slightly, blue eyes wide behind his glasses as they raked over your body — your nipples hardening through the thin tank top, your spread thighs, your wet, shiny pussy right in front of him.
He had spent months fantasizing about this exact moment. Months touching himself while imagining you like this. And now it was real.
He crawled between your legs like he was in a trance, breathing ragged and uneven.
“Fuck…” he whispered, almost to himself. His glasses slipped slightly down his nose as he leaned in closer, eyes glued to your dripping entrance. “You’re too beautiful, I’m going to die”
His hand trembled violently as he took the dildo from you.
“Stop waiting for permission Satoru” you groaned, impatient “Show me how badly you want to be inside me“
He obeyed, pressing the thick head of the toy against your folds, rubbing it up and down slowly, coating it with your slick. His breath hitched every time he felt how wet you were.
You moaned softly.
“Put it in” you encouraged.
He slowly pushed the tip inside you. The sight of your pussy stretching around the toy made him let out a broken, needy moan.
“Oh my god…” he breathed, voice wrecked. “You’re so wet…”
He started thrusting the dildo slowly, almost reverently, his eyes never leaving the point where it disappeared inside you. He reached out with his free hand, resting his palm gently against your thigh.
“You’re doing so good,” you murmured, rolling your hips to meet his movements. “Fuck— this is not even as big as you… You’re going to fucking rip me up, won’t you?”
Satoru whimpered loudly, pushing the toy deeper.
“I want to…” he confessed, voice trembling but growing bolder with every thrust. “I want to stretch you open so bad… I want to feel how tight you’d be around my cock… I’ve jerked off so many times imagining how you’d squeeze me…”
His strokes became more confident. The shame was still there, burning on his cheeks, but the hunger was winning. He was getting lost in the sight of you.
You moaned louder, one hand reaching down to rub your clit.
“Faster” you breathed “Show me how you’d ruin me.”
He complied instantly , fucking you with the dildo harder, eyes glassy behind his glasses as he watched every inch slide in and out of you.
“You’re so wet…” he whispered, almost in awe. “I can hear how soaked you are… I want to bury my cock inside you so bad… I want to feel you clench around me while I fill you up.”
You moaned louder, one hand reaching down to rub your clit while he fucked you with the dildo.
After a few minutes, you looked at him with dark, hungry eyes.
“You can touch yourself,” you said. “Stroke that big cock while you fuck me with the toy.”
Satoru didn’t hesitate. He pushed his pants down with his free hand and wrapped his fingers around his throbbing cock, stroking himself in time with the thrusts of the dildo.
“Fuck— you’re so tight…” he groaned, eyes flicking between your pussy and your face. “I don’t know how I’m going to fit —ahh—but I want to try so bad. I want to stretch you open until you’re —fuck—crying my name”
Satoru’s breath hitched, his strokes growing erratic and desperate.
You reached up, threading your fingers into his snowy hair and yanking him down into a fierce, messy kiss, swallowing his broken moans as your tongue claimed his mouth. He melted instantly, letting you lead, his strokes turning sloppy and frantic as he fucked you with the toy exactly how you wanted.
The coil inside you snapped first. You cried out against his lips, thighs trembling as your orgasm ripped through you, clenching hard around the dildo while pleasure flooded your body.
The moment you started cumming, Satoru broke.
“Mmph—!” His muffled whine vibrated against your mouth as his whole body jerked. Thick, warm spurts of cum spilled over his fingers and onto your stomach while he kept desperately kissing you back, needy and sloppy, like he couldn’t bear to pull away even while he was falling apart. His hips stuttered, hand still weakly pumping his cock through the orgasm, completely lost in you.
When you finally let him breathe, he was panting heavily, cheeks flushed deep red, lips swollen and shiny. His forehead dropped against your neck, hot and shaky breaths fanning over your skin.
You were still coming down from your high, gently stroking his hair, when you felt it — something warm and wet against your collarbone.
You blinked, tilting your head slightly.
He tried to hide it by pressing his face harder into your neck, but his shoulders were trembling and little sniffles kept escaping him.
He was crying. The realization made you start to panic.
“Satoru, no—I’m s—”
“God—” he choked out “That was the best thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.”
You buried your face in your hand, his breath still lingering against your neck.
Now, you were the one who was truly fucked.
Reblogs are sooo appreciated part 7 coming soon ! masterlist
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Jujutsu Kaisen Key Animation Vol.0
!nerdjo x reader | part 4
Exam stress leads to a late night horny decision. Everything is going great, until the guy in the video starts sounding a little too familiar
part 1 here! . part 2 here! . part 3 here!
cr: 3vangel1ne_ on X
Play this.
-
By the time you arrived at Choso’s party, his house was already overflowing.
Bodies crowded every room, conversations blurred into laughter, red cups littered every available surface; and the air smelled like cheap perfume, vodka, and the unmistakable sweetness of someone smoking weed by the open door to the garden.
You'd already lost count after your second shot.
Maybe your third.
Shoko was talking to Choso beside you, animated as always, but the alcohol had turned her voice into little more than background noise.
Then the music shifted. The opening beat sent a ripple of cheers through the room. You barely noticed, until the lyrics started.
“I wanna watch you like a movie…”
Your fingers tightened around your cup. Not now.
“I wanna put you on the stage…”
You took another sip. Maybe the burn of the alcohol would be enough to keep that damn video from resurfacing every time the lyrics seemed determined to drag it back.
“I wanna know what you’d do to me…”
Apparently not. The universe had to be fucking with you.
“I wanna put you on the tape…”
The corner of your mouth twitched. Whoever had made the playlist had an awful sense of timing.
“Flashing red light, baby you’re a star…”
You lifted your cup for another drink, your eyes drifting absentmindedly across the room.
“Fuck me all night, show me who you are…”
Your eyes landed on a familiar face, and suddenly the music died.
“No fucking way” you whispered.
Satoru was leaning awkwardly against the far wall, towering over almost everyone around him, looking as though he’d somehow got lost on his way to the library.
A plain white T-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders, dark jeans hugging long legs that seemed unfairly endless. His white hair was still messy in that unintentionally perfect way, but something was different—
He wasn’t wearing his glasses.
You’d never seen him without them before.
Under the pulsing red and blue lights, his eyes looked impossibly bright, scanning the room with the same restless uncertainty he always seemed to carry outside the safety of a classroom.
God.
The alcohol was making this so much worse.
He looked dangerously handsome.
And completely miserable.
Only then did you notice the blonde girl standing beside him, chatting easily with a small group of friends.
Satoru wasn’t saying much. His shoulders were stiff, his hands buried deep in his pockets, his smile polite but painfully strained. He looked like he was about to jump out of his own skin. Every few seconds his eyes drifted somewhere else, as though he were searching for an escape route.
The sight twisted something ugly inside your chest.
He definitely came here for her.
So why did he look like he wanted to be anywhere else?
“Oh… damn,” Shoko murmured, following your gaze “He cleans up nice.”
You didn’t answer. Instead, your eyes found Choso behind the kitchen counter, busy pouring another round of drinks.
“Choso” You called over the music, nodding toward the living room. “Do you know that guy? The really tall one with white hair?”
Choso glanced over, squinting through the crowd. “Oh, him? Not really” He shrugged “The blonde girl invited him—I think? They’re in the same class or something.”
Your chest tightened painfully. Of course. You’d known it before you’d even asked. He’d come because she invited him. That was why he was here, looking unfairly hot in a party setting he clearly didn’t belong in.
Jealousy burned hot and ugly in your stomach.
“Right” you muttered.
You reached for the nearest cup and downed it in one go. It tasted like fruit punch and regret, but it didn't matter.
Shoko raised an eyebrow “You good?”
“Perfectly” you lied.
An hour later, you were properly drunk. You’d lost Shoko what felt like an eternity ago, and the air downstairs had become too thick—heavy with perfume, sweat, and a bass that hammered relentlessly against your temples.
You needed to get out.
Your feet ached inside heels that had long since become instruments of torture, carrying you away from the madness. You drifted through the crowded house, weaving between strangers with half-empty cups in their hands. Laughter blurred into conversations you couldn't quite make out.
Your head felt pleasantly light.
Or maybe dangerously so.
As you climbed the stairs, the flashing lights faded behind you. The music that had swallowed the house only moments ago softened into a dull pulse, vibrating through the floorboards and echoing faintly against the walls.
The upstairs hallway was almost empty. A single lamp cast a warm glow over the wooden floor, leaving the far end swallowed in shadow.
You blinked once.
Twice.
Letting your eyes adjust.
And then you saw him.
Satoru was standing at the end of the hallway, leaning against the wall, half-swallowed by the darkness, his phone resting loosely in one hand. The pale glow of the screen washed over his face, tracing the line of his jaw and the curve of his neck.
Somehow, he looked even more beautiful than usual.
For a fleeting second, reality snapped back into focus. The precarious balance on your heels. The dull ache in the arches of your feet. The desperate need to stay upright.
Almost instinctively, your fingers found the hem of your skirt, tugging it down where it had ridden up against the back of your thighs—a clumsy, subconscious attempt to make yourself look at least a little more put together.
He came here for her.
And yet… He was alone. The girl who’d barely left his side downstairs was nowhere to be seen.
Your eyes lingered on the broad shoulders hidden beneath the plain white T-shirt, then drifted to the long fingers loosely curled around his phone before settling on the nervous way he shifted his weight against the wall.
He looked exactly the same as he always did.
Quiet. Awkward. Completely unaware of how beautiful he was.
Your curiosity curled hot in your stomach.
The version of Satoru you knew in daylight and the one you’d watched through a screen felt like two different people.
You were dying to know which one would look back at you if you got close enough.
Before your brain had the chance to catch up, your feet were already moving across the hallway, the sharp click of your heels breaking the silence.
“Hey.”
Satoru startled so badly he nearly dropped his phone.
“Shit—”
He looked up, quickly locking the screen before slipping the phone into his pocket with practiced ease. The movement was almost too quick, too casual—the kind of I’m just standing here composure that would’ve been convincing if his ears hadn’t already started turning pink.
“Oh…” His eyebrows lifted. “Hi.”
A beat.
“…You’re here.”
You took another step toward him. The hallway suddenly felt much narrower.
“Didn’t expect to see you at a party.”
“Yeah, I…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t usually come to these.”
“But you came because she invited you.” you countered, the alcohol sharpening your edges
He blinked, visibly caught off guard by the accusation.
“I—”
You didn’t let him answer.
Instead, you tilted your head, your gaze drifting over his face.
“You’re not wearing your glasses.”
You were close enough now to catch his scent—clean soap, something fresh and woody, and something underneath it that was unmistakably him.
His hand flew to his face almost on instinct.
“Oh. Yeah. I... I thought the contacts might be better for a party. Less likely to get knocked off or fogged up or… whatever.” He laughed nervously “I feel weird without them.”
You took another step. The height difference was staggering; he had to look down at you, and the way he did it—soft, shy—made your knees feel weak. You reached out, your fingers ghosting over his jaw, tracing the sharp line of his cheekbone.
Satoru went completely still. His eyes darkened, pupils dilating until the icy blue was nearly swallowed by black.
“I like you better with the glasses,” you murmured, your eyes fixed on the place where your fingertips brushed his skin. “They make you look… smart. Cute.”
“You…” His voice cracked, a high, strained sound. He didn't pull away. Instead, he leaned into your touch as if he were trying to memorize the feeling. “You're…” He hesitated, struggling to find his voice. “...really close.”
“Does it bother you?” you challenged, your hand moving to the back of his neck, your thumb stroking the sensitive skin there. “Or is it that you’d rather be with someone else?”
He shivered, a visible tremor running through his broad shoulders. He looked down at your lips, his own parting slightly.
“N-no” he whispered.
You smiled, the expression a little tipsy and a whole lot dangerous. Your other hand came up, resting flat against his chest. The fabric of his shirt was soft, but the muscle beneath it was hard, and you could feel his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against your palm. You tilted your head back to meet his gaze, savoring the warmth radiating from him.
“You’re too tall,” you murmured, the words slipping out with a hunger you didn't bother to hide. “Always towering over everyone.”
Satoru swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. “I know. Sorry—I’m always in the way.” He tried for a light laugh, but it came out as a ragged exhale. His hands remained at his sides, fists clenched until the knuckles turned white, as if he were physically anchoring himself to the wall to keep from touching you. “You’re… you’re drunk, aren’t you?”
The question sounded like a desperate attempt to break whatever had settled between you, to remind himself of the boundaries that were rapidly dissolving.
You didn't answer. Instead, you leaned in closer, your nose brushing against his collarbone as you inhaled deeply, letting his scent fill your lungs.
“You smell so good,” you whispered against his skin, almost drunk on it “God, why do you smell so good?”
You didn’t care anymore that you weren’t the girl he thought about when he recorded those videos. The alcohol had burned away every last bit of restraint.
“You’re so soft..” you breathed, dragging your lips slowly along the warm skin of his neck, savoring the feeling.
Without a second thought, you pressed a slow, lingering kiss right where his pulse was jumping wildly beneath your lips.
He let out a soft, broken sound—half whimper, half sigh. It was the exact sound you’d heard a dozen times through your headphones, but hearing it now, feeling it vibrate against your mouth, was a visceral, jolting experience. The hallway felt like it was closing in, and the muffled music from the party below felt miles away.
“You shouldn’t… I mean, you’re drunk, and I—” He whispered the words. But even as he spoke, he betrayed himself by tilting his head slightly, giving you more access to his neck.
You welcomed the invitation.
Your lips trailed lower, moving to the ridge of his collarbone. You dragged your tongue slowly across the bone in one long, teasing lick. Satoru shuddered violently, a pretty, needy moan escaping his throat.
“Fuck—why are you...” His breath hitched “Ahh—why are you doing this to me?”
You could feel him hard against your hip when you pressed closer, the thick outline unmistakable. Yet his hands remained glued to his sides, fists clenched, shaking with restraint.
One of your hands slid to the back of his neck, fingers threading into his soft white hair. You pulled him down slightly, making the height difference even more obvious, and latched your mouth onto the side of his neck again.
This time you kissed him open-mouthed, sucking gently on his skin. Satoru whimpered, the sound breaking beautifully as you sucked harder, determined to leave a mark.
“Please—” he breathed. “I can’t—”
He still wouldn’t touch you back. His arms stayed rigid at his sides, his hands clenching and unclenching like he was fighting a war with his own instincts.
You pulled back just enough to look up at him.
Satoru’s eyes were half-lidded, lashes fluttering, his lips parted as he tried to catch his breath. His cheeks were flushed a deep pink. It finally clicked in your hazy mind: he wasn’t touching you because he knew you were drunk. He was letting you use him however you wanted, but he refused to take advantage.
That realization might have been the hottest thing you had ever experienced in your life.
You leaned in slowly again, the height difference forcing you to stretch. Satoru’s eyes widened the moment your breath brushed his lips, impossibly surprised, almost disbelieving. He stared at you, pupils blown wide with shock and something much darker.
“What are y—”
You kissed him.
It started soft — just a gentle press of lips — but the second you felt the tiny, broken whimper vibrate against your mouth, something inside you snapped. You tilted your head and deepened the kiss, sliding your tongue along his bottom lip before pushing inside.
Satoru moaned into your mouth, the sound needy and desperate. His body trembled against yours, but his hands still stayed glued to his sides, shaking.
You kissed him harder, hungrier. Your tongue explored his mouth with lazy confidence, tasting him, teasing him, sucking on his tongue whenever he shyly tried to respond. Every little sound he made — those pretty, broken whimpers you had become addicted to — only made you more relentless.
One of your hands stayed at the back of his neck, fingers tangled in his soft white hair, while the other slowly slid down his chest. You felt every hard line of muscle beneath the thin fabric of his shirt, your palm gliding lower and lower until it stopped just above his belt.
You could feel how hard he was.
The thick, heavy length of his cock pressed insistently against your stomach, hot and unmistakable even through his pants. The same pretty cock you touched yourself to while watching him fall apart on camera. The realization made heat flood between your thighs.
The kiss turned wet and messy. Obscene sounds filled the quiet hallway as you devoured his mouth, biting his bottom lip gently before soothing it with your tongue. Satoru was shaking, breathing heavily through his nose, completely lost in the kiss but still refusing to touch you back.
God, he’s really not going to touch me.
He was letting you use his mouth, his body, his neck — whatever you wanted — while he held himself back because you were drunk.
It was infuriatingly respectful. And an absolute torture.
Just then, a voice echoed from downstairs.
“Hun? Are you up here?!”
Shoko.
Your heart jolted. You pulled back sharply, breathing hard, lips still tingling. For a second you just stared at him — at the mess you had made of him — and reality came crashing down like cold water.
Fuck. What did I just do?
Your hands were shaking. Your knees felt weak. The hallway suddenly felt too bright, too quiet. You took a shaky step back, almost losing your balance on your heels.
“I—” you whispered, voice cracking.
You couldn’t even finish the sentence.
You gave him one last frantic look — his messy white hair, swollen glossy lips, and the faint red marks you had left on his neck — before turning around. You walked away quickly, almost stumbling down the hallway, your heart hammering wildly in your chest.
You didn’t look back.
Just as you disappeared down the stairs, Satoru’s head fell back against the wall with a quiet thud, eyes squeezed shut. A second later, his legs gave out and he slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, completely ruined.
He didn’t know what was more pathetic: his trembling hands, the frantic drum of his heart, or the warm, humiliating mess in his pants.
yep. i'm basically torturing everyone: reader, Satoru, you and me.
Reblogs are sooo appreciated ✨
part 5 here ! masterlist
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oh wow
i need to reread his manga i miss him
Yare Yare~ Saiki
I fear knowing me means hating who I am.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
AND abs. And now that we’re at it let’s throw in some broad shoulders, a strong back, and a nice smile.