Hello Friend, Feeling Down?

When the door clicked behind, marking your exit, Mac was excited for the opportunities you two will now face to hopefully increase your compatibility.

Oh how short this feeling lasted.

It was fine at first. Mac flirted with other objects and seeing you also mingle with others just around the corner was completely fine. The first straw was when you stopped visiting them with the dateviators. They had at least surmised you would still interface with them during this period. You simply sat and used the computer like normal. Personally, you didn’t want to see Mac yet, it would just make the pain even harder if they brought up their current romantic prospects. You did thank Mac out loud during the sessions for organizing your information, saving your gameplay for you, and at the end of each session for allowing you to use them. There was that going for Mac.

This was how our relationship was previously, they thought, so why am I craving more after asking for time apart? Probably nothing. The second straw was your interactions with Rebel and Keith. 

Rebel and Mac were conversing when all of a sudden your presence startled the rubber duck and they took off, leaving you and Mac face-to-face for the first time in a week. This had the computer’s fan start up in unexpected excitement. 

The conversation was sadly formal, you asked Mac for some info on Rebel because you were concerned for them and once received, thanked Mac. Taking off without looking back. “Farewell”, they muttered. You were long gone. 

Some days later Keith asked Mac for a favor, you were there too, a delightful treat to see. However Keith and you acted thick as thieves the entire time, it was them who felt like a third wheel. They thought you would be impressed by their hacking skills, asking for them to explain the process. That question never came, Mac turned up empty and wheeled away for you and Keith to keep conversing. You liked hearing their nerdy rambles before, you thought they were cute, what happened?

The third straw was Vaugh and Johnny Splash. It had been 3 weeks since you last used a charge on Mac, so when you did they were pleasantly surprised. 

“Welcome back! I am so very elated that you have returned! There’s so much new data I’d like to interface with you on.” They threw in a joke at the end too, you had them ecstatic. 

“Hey! I need a rat”.

“Oh! You must mean a mouse? Computers rarely have—“.

“Sorry Mac, I do mean a rat, it’s for Vaughn”. You go on to explain your plan to gift Vaughn a rat plush, Mac complies and also asks why you were doing this for him.

You shrug, “I don’t know, I think he needs some form of comfort, plus he’s kind of cute”. Honestly you were doing side quests to not think about Mac at the moment.

Cute. Mac felt their system turn cold, you excused yourself and left them alone with their thoughts. Sure, Mac thought the same and even did similar things for other objects, but hearing that confession from you with such a happy look. Something started to buzz in their CPU. 

A few days later Johnny needed help setting up the livestream of his performance on ‘American Maestro’ and came to Mac. It was an easy task and as they left the bathroom you entered, no acknowledgment towards one another. Still in earshot is when Mac heard it.

At your entrance Johnny lit up, “You came back! After the uh... way I behaved during our last date, I rightly didn't expect you would”.

Date. Not meeting. Not hangout. Date.

Date. You. Johnny Splash. Last time. Would that indicate this was another time? 

“Well why does it matter?”, Skylar commented. That conversation Mac overheard was yesterday, right now they were hanging out with Skylar and the topic of you two’s relationship came up. (Skylar already knew all the details because she was there, technically). “If you were the one that suggested seeing others”.

“It was to determine our ultimate compatibility… now I recognize we are compatible, more so than anyone I have had relations with”. Skylar nods, like she already knew this and was just waiting for Mac to learn this about themself. Together Mac and Skylar reminisced on the shared moments between you two, falling for you all over again in the process. The both of them sat in front of the monitor, unaware of a creek in the door where you were peaking in.

After witnessing what you thought was Mac finding someone better than you, you decided to actually try dating some of the objects instead of befriending them all (Johnny called it a date, you corrected him). If Mac was truly not going to make up their mind about being with you, you would have to move on. This is how you landed a date with Monique, giving her a tour of the house.

Going room to room, this official date (with a label and everything!) became talk of the house midway through. It crushed Mac seeing you enter the office with Monique and slight jealousy took over the first conversation you have had with Mac since Vaughn. 

“Can I help you?”. They voiced, eyes examining the body language between Monique and you.

“Hello, I am Monique”.

”Mac”.

”Mac, would you happen to be storing a budget sheet file for monthly spending?”.

“Lemme check. Nope”. Your eyes furrowed in confusion, Mac was not usually so curt when speaking. 

Not only that their responses caused Monique to give you a disappointed look. “Will you start writing down what I say?”.

“I promise!”, throwing your hands up defensively.

“Good. I look forward to our second date then.” You smiled, the two of you continuing your tour of the home.

Seeing you walk away, face red when Monique confirms a second date, Mac’s cooling system kicks in as a wave of emotions stir in their CPU. This was their final straw. Realization hits Mac: they made a mistake. They had their chance to be with other objects and none compared to you. The longing they felt was for no other reason than they wanted you, only you. 

Now they just had to tell you and hope the feelings are still reciprocal, something that might be a big ask now.

It had been a month since that painful conversation. You saved your last charge for Mac, this way if they break your heart even more, you can immediately climb into bed. Breathing out you slowly open the door, the office is silent but the power button is on, letting you know Mac is awake. The dateviators point, bringing out Mac to talk.

“You’re back! Honestly I wasn’t entirely sure you’d come”. They go on to explain the previous ‘interactions’ you two had that day. “I just mean, I really appreciate that you returned to interface with me like this”.

“I said I would, so I did”. Cold start. 

“You appeared to enjoy spending time with the others”. Neutral counter.

“So did you, did you have fun?”. Mac couldn’t distinguish your tone, was it genuine or jealousy, hopefully the latter. It would mean you felt the same. The conversation continued this way. Personally, you tried hard to stay neutral and control your expectations, not doing so last time didn’t turn out well for you. 

Eventually Mac gets into the matter at hand. “Look. Do you wish to know the truth?”. 

“Yes”.

“The truth is: I had dalliances, yes. But ultimately that’s all that they were”.

“Are you sure?”.

“What?”.

You sigh. “Mac, I don’t want to hold you back, please, whatever you say, be honest. I will understand. I was able to reflect and you shouldn't feel any pressure to be with me based on our time together”. Swallowing a lump, trying not to choke on your next words, “You are my computer, I know you are not mine”.

“But I want to be!”, they expressed, albeit a little louder than they meant to. Their volume surprised you both. “That is to say”, clearing their throat, “it was my proposition to be with others before committing to one another, however no matter what I was doing, or who I was with, I never stopped thinking about one thing… you”.

“Really?”. A tiny gleam begins to shine in your eyes, reminding them of how you used to look at them.

“Yes, you charmed your way into my system and made it overwhelmed when I observed you with others. I apologize for not seeing it sooner, however I wish to express it now: I love you. It is something for me to give and you to recieve… if you want of course, I understand I am not the only lover on your radar”.

For the first time in weeks a genuine smile spread across your face, this exact interaction was what you dreamed about day and night. You are ready to forgive them, to live with them in this moment, to finally receive the love you held returned completely. “Mac… I feel the same way, no one else compared to the overwhelming emotions you brought out of me”, softly laughing at the end, thinking back to the unrestful nights.

“Do you wish to be together?”.

“Yes, you?”.

“I do, you have no idea, my CPU is going to overload with excitement. It's true we've been staring at each other for years, but it took this experience together to finally take our relationship to the next level. And I am so happy to embark on that journey with you”.

__________________________________

I realized midway through writing this I wrote myself into a corner

“Let's be honest: this is a user interface that is just begging to be interfaced by as many users as possible, am I right?”.

“Wait, what does that mean?”.

🎶Me despedí, Pero te mentí (I said my farewell, but I lied)

No me quería alejar (I didn't want to distance myself)🎶

Spend a little time apart, then reconvene back together. That’s what Mac wanted.

You agreed, “Okay”.

After confirming it hit you: that wasn’t what you wanted, not in the slightest. You were completely sure Mac was who you wanted to be with, you were just blind sighted and needed to leave the room as fast as possible. 

🎶Disimulé, Me aguanté (I pretended, I bore it)🎶

You kept your composure.

“Enjoy your little sojourn in the offline world!”.

“You too” was all you could manage, speaking any more would cause your voice to crack. Calmly close the door, slowly go up the stairs, move to the bedroom, sit on the edge of the bed…

🎶Pero es que ya no puedo más (But I can’t take it anymore)🎶

...And let out a deep sigh as small tears threaten to come out. You take off the dateviators, folding them and placing them on the drawer, not even bothering to use your remaining charges. The rest of the day is spent quietly meandering around doing whatever small chores or cleanup was needed, it was the first time you were alone (usually you have the objects around to converse with while doing this). 

At night while trying to fall asleep the idea of Mac seeing other people hurt your heart. Right before falling asleep you reasoned that if Mac was going to be seeing other people it's best to try and forget them for the time being, giving them the free space to do so as they wished. Out of sight, out of mind and whatnot.

🎶Quise borrarte, olvidarte (I wanted to erase you, to forget you)

Pero te vuelvo a recordar (But I keep remember you)🎶

That plan proved to be hard.

🎶Todos los días, Salgo a caminar (Every day I go out for walks)

Hago mil cosas pa no pensar (I do a thousand things so I don't have to think)🎶

The next few days followed the same agenda, you filled your time with doing things for/with other objects. They were your friends of course. And though you enjoyed this time together your mind consistently found ways to slip in memories of that charming computer.

🎶Me lleno de adornos (I adorn myself)

Siempre te quiero llamar (I always want to call you)🎶

Adorning you was your red shirt, it certainly got you more than simply friendly affection from other objects. However all you wanted was to call out to Mac and ask them about their thoughts.

🎶No quiero nada, nada, nada (I want nothing, nothing, nothing)

Y es que soy tan complicada (I’m just complicated)🎶

At the same time you wanted nothing from them. Reminders to ‘Give them space!’ repeated ceaselessly.

Wanting them. Not wanting them. It’s all so complicated.

🎶Ay, ay, ay de mí

De este amor que se metió y que se dispara (This poor love that wormed into me and took off like a bullet)

Se contagia y te reclama (It is contagious and it demands you) 🎶

The more you tried to ignore it, the more prevalent these thoughts became. Why can’t this be easy? Why do you feel this desire for them so deep?

🎶Ay, ay, ay de mí

De este amor que se me incrusta como bala (This poor love that set into me like a bullet)

Que me ahorca y que me mata (That chokes me and that kills me)🎶

This longing is going to be the death of you, you just know it. It bleeds into your other relationships, zapping the joy you’re supposed to feel in these moments.

🎶Todo sería diferente (Everything would be different)

Si tú me quisieras (If you loved me)🎶

“Why Mac… why did you let me get so attached?”, you whisper into your pillow at the end of another day.

🎶Debo frenar (I need to brake)

Porque no puedo más, Me duele todo (Because I can’t anymore, everything hurts)🎶

They were never yours. That’s why it's stupid how much turmoil you’re in. You have to stop this foolishness.

🎶Así me dijo el psiquiatra (that’s what the psychiatrist told me)

Yo sé que es mejor que me olvide de tu cara (I know that it's better for me to forget your face)🎶

That was the advice of Teddy when you confided in him what happened. Albeit he wasn’t actually rude about it and instead spoke in a gentle tone filled with warmth. 

“It’s natural to be sad about the situation, although you mustn't let it affect your interactions with the other objects”, he advises. “Platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones to maintain”.

🎶No quiero nada, nada, nada (I don’t want anything, anything, anything)

Y es que soy tan obstinada (I’m just so stubborn)🎶

You nod, inside, your brain disregards his counsel.

You know you’re being difficult, you don’t want to let go. There is still the possibility the next time you interface they are just as sure as you were that they want to be with you.

🎶Todo sería diferente (Everything would be different)

Si tú me quisieras (If you loved me)🎶

Slowly things change. Days become less taxing and the fun in spending time with the other objects return. 

Gossiping with Scandalabra.

Trying coffee with Kopi.

Exercising with Dunk.

Learning about the world with Gaia.

Relaxing with Koa.

Hanging out with the Hanks.

Rapping lessons with Jean Loo.

It healed you, all these connections had you feeling sure that no matter what Mac’s choice was, you would be fine.

Keyword: had.

🎶Si tú me quisieras yo dejaba todo (If you loved me I would leave it all)🎶

You were headed towards the office to help Penelope get ready for a date. About to knock you noticed the door was creaked open, peeping in, you see it.

Mac with someone else.

The scene wasn’t explicit in any way, they were just laughing and talking while looking at something on the monitor. Except, the way Mac looked at them when they laughed, the slight redness in their face, and the same flirty style in their speech pattern was all too familiar to you.

Here you were, dragged back to square one. Which object it was it didn’t matter, not at all. Mac’s genuine joy, that exceeded beyond friendly, is what did.

🎶Ya no iré a terapia, sé que te perdono (I would stop going to therapy, I know that I forgive you)🎶

It was like deja vu, the exact same shuffle back to your room as the day Mac asked to see other people. You felt betrayed, hurt all over again, no longer could rationalizing about you two never being official bring comfort as you lay tired on the bed.

Thoughts turned desperate as you softly proclaimed out loud what you would do for Mac to look at you the way they used to. To hear the confirmation that no matter where they searched their heart belonged with you. You’d forgive them completely for this heartache if that happened.

🎶Con tu pelo negro tejería un cuento (With your black hair I’d weave a story)

Yo quiero vivir contigo este momento (I want to live with you in this moment)🎶

After today it's possible that day will never come, no matter what tale you spin or what else you sacrifice for them. This ache will stay. Strip back everything, the rationalizing, the excuses, the advice, and there was the fact that you wanted them, to be with them, to be in the scene you witnessed.

To love them and experience that love returned in full.

🎶Ay, ay, ay de mí

De este amor que se metió y que se dispara (This poor love that wormed into me and took off like a bullet)

Se contagia y te reclama (It is contagious and it demands you)🎶

Will it happen? You don't know.

Why does your heart have a hole only they could fill?

🎶Ay, ay, ay de mí

De este amor que se me incrusta como bala (This poor love that set into me like a bullet)

Que me ahorca y que me mata (That chokes me and that kills me)🎶

“Everything would be so different”, you gaze up at the ceiling, “if you loved me”.

__________________________________

I was never satisfied with this, that’s why I never posted it, is it too dramatic? Do I like the dramatic? idk idk I couldn’t pick

But too much time has passed for this to stay in my drafts