There was a buzz of conversation and activity radiating around the living room. People stood around in little groups, gesticulating and laughing in between swigs from beer cans. The music video playing on the TV was casting a pink and purple hue over the room. Someone had spilled their drink on the coffee table, leaving a sticky residue, and the flash of a digital camera was going off periodically. The air was thick, someone was smoking on the patio and hadnβt closed the sliding door.
It was all a bit much for Rowan, so they ducked into the kitchen and immediately felt calmer. The open window had let in a welcome breeze and there were only three other people in there. Three people they actually knew and liked, which was saying something for a party like this.
Rowan stepped into the semi circle of friends as Felix finished an anecdote, "...and then the time change happened so my sleep just got even more fucked."
"That sucks, dude. I tried these new gummies, they're ok. They get me knocked out but then I have crazy dreams," said Jasmine.
βHave either of you tried guided meditation? It helped me during my last bought of insomnia. I can send the link to my favorites,β added Quinn in between bites of tortilla chips.
Rowan decided to join the chat, βMo- Caitlin says I'm a very good sleeper," and immediately regreted it.
The conversation halted and the three others stared at Rowan. They swore they could hear crickets for a moment.
Heat flushed their cheeks and they stammered, "I mean, I know I'm a good sleeper. I fall asleep quickly and usually don't wake up except for sometimes when...well, I meant that Caitlin just knows it too. Because we share the bed and she..."
"Yeah, of course, buddy," said Quinn.
She turned back to Felix and Jasmine, "so, how was your camping trip? The pictures looked great!"
Rowan chided themself internally, "Ugh! Grownups don't say that their girlfriends call them a good sleeper!β
Rowan really wanted their friends to like them and not to think of them as such a baby all the time. It was hard though, knowing what made them sound grown up, or not. What else should they avoid talking about?
Rowan replayed the interaction in their head. They had almost let it slip that sometimes they wake up while they're wetting the bed, but had the self control to stop themselves. Thank god.
Would Felix, Jasmine, and Quinn want to hear about the book they've been reading? Well, more like the book Caitlin had been reading out loud. And even though it was a chapter book there were still pictures at the start of each chapter, so probably not.
Maybe they could talk about their latest trip to the aquarium! Wait, was that for babies? There sure were a lot of babies there. Surely grownups could like the aquarium, though, because Jasmine was a biologist. Rowan preemptively decided to exclude the detail of how they almost cried when they spilled some ice cream and left with a set of plastic sea creature figures if they brought up the aquarium.
Before any further forays into socializing Rowan needed to relax a bit, so they reached into the fridge. There were rows of beer, yuck, a case of diet sodas, meh, and a few hard lemonades tucked into the door, perfect. Caitlin appeared next to them after they turned away from the closed door.
She gave Rowan a peck on the cheek and surreptitiously wrapped her arm around them. To the group it was a cute coupley gesture, but Rowan knew the true intentions behind the pat to their bottom.
"Uhm, this is my second," said Rowan truthfully.
"Is Rowan driving? You don't have to worry, Caitlin. Those are practically juice, look at the ABV," Jasmine laughed, pointing her finger at the label on the sweaty bottle.
Rowan opened their mouth to protest, this was not juice! You needed an ID to buy it and everything.
"Oh, that's not what I'm worried about. This one just can't handle their fluids, of any kind really. Look," she smiled with her teeth and raised her eyebrows.
Then, she looped her fingers into Rowan's front belt loop and yanked down.
"What are you doing?" Hissed Rowan. They clamped their hands on their pants, not wanting their pull-up to be exposed.
It wasn't really a secret in their circle that Rowan was...leaky...and that Caitlin doted on them. But, that didn't mean Rowan wanted to be pantsed at the function. Especially not when they were trying to prove their grownup chops.
"Aw, it's ok, buddy," said Quinn, "you don't have to hide any of that from us."
Rowan didn't know how to feel about Quinn calling them buddy twice now. Was it a cool nickname or patronizing? They tried to speak again but just let out a squeaky exhale.
"They are so cute, Caitlin, really. Let me know where you found them because I would certainly love my own Rowan," said Felix. He eyed Rowan up and down with a hungry look in his eyes.
"I'm afraid they're one in a million, and I don't like sharing, sorry!" said Caitlin, and she squeezed Rowan into her side, "finish your juice, baby, then come find me," and she pranced out of the kitchen.
A while later a tired, slightly intoxicated, Rowan found Caitlin on the couch. A few drinks had made them feel pleasantly relaxed and eased any social anxieties from earlier.
The party had died down, with only their close group remaining. The TV had been turned off and the thick smell of people and substances in the air had dissipated a bit.
Rowan slumped down and practically melted into Caitlin. She pet their hair and smiled. Jasmine sat on the edge of the couch and made a so cute pouty face at Caitlin.
"Want to get comfy before we go? I brought your jammies."
"Oh my god, I want to see Rowan's jammies," said Quinn, who was on a scavenger hunt collecting all the discarded recyclables from the house. She set her garbage bag down and sat on the arm of the couch.
Rowan was too sleepy and maybe a little more than tipsy to defend any ounce of dignity. They nodded into Caitlin's shoulder and stood up to grab her large purse tucked next to the shoe bench.
Caitlin laid the changing mat on the ground by the couch and flicked through the seemingly bottomless bag.
"Lay down, sweetie, I'm just getting everything out," she patted the mat absently.
"And we get to watch? Lucky us!" Felix chimed and settled on the floor with his back against the couch, only a few inches from the whole set up.
Caitlin took Rowan's pants off and tutted at their wet pull-up. The design had gotten blurry and it looked close to leaking.
Jasmine let out a little gasp from above them, βOh, wow, they peed a lot. Sorry, is that embarrassing, Ro?"
Rowan whined and planted their hands over their eyes. Something soft brushed their face and they realized Jasmine was handing them their stuffed puppy from the bag. Was this a joke? Surely grownups didn't need to hug their stuffed animals when they were embarrassed and tired.
Rowan cracked open an eye to see if Jasmine was being sincere or not. She was smiling, but not in a condescending way. She looked like she really did want Rowan to be comforted by the stuffie. They accepted the well loved puppy and held it tight to their chest. It did make them feel a little better.
"It's bigger than I remember," said Quinn when Caitlin took a diaper from her purse and unfolded it.
"These ones are super thick, just for nighttime," Caitlin explained. βRo might be too sleepy to help me out. Felix, can you grab their legs please and hoist them up? Yup, just like that so I can get it straight.β
Felix gripped Rowan's legs with his own arms fully extended above his head. The stuffed puppy went over Rowanβs now, sandy colored fur blending in with their own hair color and blocking everything out. Rowan hoped everyone was a little too inebriated to remember any of this tomorrow, including themself.
"Those are adorable," squealed Jasmine, seeing the caterpillar and butterfly patterned pajama set Caitlin was tugging over Rowan's head.
"Rowan picked them out a few weeks ago. It's getting too hot for footies, you know?"
The audience nodded and murmured agreements.
Caitlin pulled Rowan up and fussed with their pants until they were straightened out. She pulled the puppy away from their eyes despite a little whine from Rowan.
"You need to be able to see, sweetie. I know, I know, you want Puppy as close to you as possible all the time. You can cuddle up really good to her in the car." She turned to their friends, "Goodnight, everyone. Thanks for hosting, Quinn!"
"Of course!" said Quinn. Jasmine and Felix gave little waves.
"Mommy, I want to go home now..." Rowan inched closer to the door. They looked close to falling asleep standing up.
"Don't be rude, Ro. Say goodnight and thank you," prompted Caitlin.
Rowan yawned impressively and rubbed their eyes. "G'night. Thanks for," another yawn interrupted them, "thanks for having us."
Caitlin fished out her keys and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. She gave Rowan a pat on the bottom before grabbing their hand and steppeing out on to the porch
"Anytime, buddy," Quinn said as she shut the door behind them.
