hi i’m squirmystuffiez! if you like you can call me squirm *or* stuffie, aren’t you spoiled? I’m 27 and this is my secret blog for filth. by filth I mean…
Omorashi and wetting
Ageplay, specifically littles including forced infantilisation, potties and diapers, mdlb/ddlg, mild fauxcest, breastfeeding, humiliation
Agere — I am an age regressor but it’s been a while and I prefer the ageplay/abdl side. I don’t intend to crosstag communities and this is the only time I’ll do that. I sometimes regress and feel like a small child and may talk a little bit about it here. Regressing is not sexual for me, but ageplay is. The two are distinct and will remain that way.
Messing, including stomach aches, constipation, desperation/messing diapers or undies.
Petplay specifically kitten, puppy
Mild feeder/feedee but trending towards the body neutral/body positive indulgent/spoiled side of fat content
I’m mostly a writer and don’t like to do holds and stuff so if you like that sort of content this blog isn’t for you.
I try to tag personal stuff with #squirmy’s babbles. I will try my best to remember to tag any squicky or triggering content also.
I am happy to chat but very shy and don’t always respond. I need to bond with you first. I don’t engage with sexual DMs unless they’re from trusted mutuals
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you are alive on a planet with insects and whales and diatoms and mycelium networks and puppies and your human friends. literally so awesome to be a living thing
anything with a significant amount of caffeine acts as a diuretic.
YOUR BODY WILL EXPEL WATER WHEN YOU CONSUME A DIURETIC. telling people that coffee and certain teas don’t dehydrate you during the worst worldwide heatwave in recorded history will potentially get people killed.
this isn’t a myth, it’s the science of the subject.
if you’re sweating profusely, drink water and get electrolytes.
electrolytes = sodium + potassium + calcium.
drink a glass of (dairy) milk or a sports drink if you’re feeling muscle cramps or are feeling any difficulty using your muscles at all. a severe electrolyte imbalance is dangerous.
there are also recipes online that combine salt, sugar, and citrus juice in water to make a basic oral rehydration solution. drink fluids even when not actively thirsty.
and for the love of god, LIMIT THE DIURETICS YOU CONSUME IN THIS HEAT.
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There was a buzz of conversation and activity radiating around the living room. People stood around in little groups, gesticulating and laughing in between swigs from beer cans. The music video playing on the TV was casting a pink and purple hue over the room. Someone had spilled their drink on the coffee table, leaving a sticky residue, and the flash of a digital camera was going off periodically. The air was thick, someone was smoking on the patio and hadn’t closed the sliding door.
It was all a bit much for Rowan, so they ducked into the kitchen and immediately felt calmer. The open window had let in a welcome breeze and there were only three other people in there. Three people they actually knew and liked, which was saying something for a party like this.
Rowan stepped into the semi circle of friends as Felix finished an anecdote, "...and then the time change happened so my sleep just got even more fucked."
"That sucks, dude. I tried these new gummies, they're ok. They get me knocked out but then I have crazy dreams," said Jasmine.
“Have either of you tried guided meditation? It helped me during my last bought of insomnia. I can send the link to my favorites,” added Quinn in between bites of tortilla chips.
Rowan decided to join the chat, “Mo- Caitlin says I'm a very good sleeper," and immediately regreted it.
The conversation halted and the three others stared at Rowan. They swore they could hear crickets for a moment.
Heat flushed their cheeks and they stammered, "I mean, I know I'm a good sleeper. I fall asleep quickly and usually don't wake up except for sometimes when...well, I meant that Caitlin just knows it too. Because we share the bed and she..."
"Yeah, of course, buddy," said Quinn.
She turned back to Felix and Jasmine, "so, how was your camping trip? The pictures looked great!"
Rowan chided themself internally, "Ugh! Grownups don't say that their girlfriends call them a good sleeper!”
Rowan really wanted their friends to like them and not to think of them as such a baby all the time. It was hard though, knowing what made them sound grown up, or not. What else should they avoid talking about?
Rowan replayed the interaction in their head. They had almost let it slip that sometimes they wake up while they're wetting the bed, but had the self control to stop themselves. Thank god.
Would Felix, Jasmine, and Quinn want to hear about the book they've been reading? Well, more like the book Caitlin had been reading out loud. And even though it was a chapter book there were still pictures at the start of each chapter, so probably not.
Maybe they could talk about their latest trip to the aquarium! Wait, was that for babies? There sure were a lot of babies there. Surely grownups could like the aquarium, though, because Jasmine was a biologist. Rowan preemptively decided to exclude the detail of how they almost cried when they spilled some ice cream and left with a set of plastic sea creature figures if they brought up the aquarium.
Before any further forays into socializing Rowan needed to relax a bit, so they reached into the fridge. There were rows of beer, yuck, a case of diet sodas, meh, and a few hard lemonades tucked into the door, perfect. Caitlin appeared next to them after they turned away from the closed door.
"How's it going, baby?"
She gave Rowan a peck on the cheek and surreptitiously wrapped her arm around them. To the group it was a cute coupley gesture, but Rowan knew the true intentions behind the pat to their bottom.
"How many have you had?"
"Uhm, this is my second," said Rowan truthfully.
"Is Rowan driving? You don't have to worry, Caitlin. Those are practically juice, look at the ABV," Jasmine laughed, pointing her finger at the label on the sweaty bottle.
Rowan opened their mouth to protest, this was not juice! You needed an ID to buy it and everything.
"Oh, that's not what I'm worried about. This one just can't handle their fluids, of any kind really. Look," she smiled with her teeth and raised her eyebrows.
Then, she looped her fingers into Rowan's front belt loop and yanked down.
"What are you doing?" Hissed Rowan. They clamped their hands on their pants, not wanting their pull-up to be exposed.
It wasn't really a secret in their circle that Rowan was...leaky...and that Caitlin doted on them. But, that didn't mean Rowan wanted to be pantsed at the function. Especially not when they were trying to prove their grownup chops.
"Aw, it's ok, buddy," said Quinn, "you don't have to hide any of that from us."
Rowan didn't know how to feel about Quinn calling them buddy twice now. Was it a cool nickname or patronizing? They tried to speak again but just let out a squeaky exhale.
"They are so cute, Caitlin, really. Let me know where you found them because I would certainly love my own Rowan," said Felix. He eyed Rowan up and down with a hungry look in his eyes.
"I'm afraid they're one in a million, and I don't like sharing, sorry!" said Caitlin, and she squeezed Rowan into her side, "finish your juice, baby, then come find me," and she pranced out of the kitchen.
"It's not juice..."
---
A while later a tired, slightly intoxicated, Rowan found Caitlin on the couch. A few drinks had made them feel pleasantly relaxed and eased any social anxieties from earlier.
The party had died down, with only their close group remaining. The TV had been turned off and the thick smell of people and substances in the air had dissipated a bit.
Rowan slumped down and practically melted into Caitlin. She pet their hair and smiled. Jasmine sat on the edge of the couch and made a so cute pouty face at Caitlin.
"Sleepy?" Caitlin said.
"Mhm."
"Want to get comfy before we go? I brought your jammies."
"Oh my god, I want to see Rowan's jammies," said Quinn, who was on a scavenger hunt collecting all the discarded recyclables from the house. She set her garbage bag down and sat on the arm of the couch.
Rowan was too sleepy and maybe a little more than tipsy to defend any ounce of dignity. They nodded into Caitlin's shoulder and stood up to grab her large purse tucked next to the shoe bench.
Caitlin laid the changing mat on the ground by the couch and flicked through the seemingly bottomless bag.
"Lay down, sweetie, I'm just getting everything out," she patted the mat absently.
"And we get to watch? Lucky us!" Felix chimed and settled on the floor with his back against the couch, only a few inches from the whole set up.
Caitlin took Rowan's pants off and tutted at their wet pull-up. The design had gotten blurry and it looked close to leaking.
Jasmine let out a little gasp from above them, “Oh, wow, they peed a lot. Sorry, is that embarrassing, Ro?"
Rowan whined and planted their hands over their eyes. Something soft brushed their face and they realized Jasmine was handing them their stuffed puppy from the bag. Was this a joke? Surely grownups didn't need to hug their stuffed animals when they were embarrassed and tired.
Rowan cracked open an eye to see if Jasmine was being sincere or not. She was smiling, but not in a condescending way. She looked like she really did want Rowan to be comforted by the stuffie. They accepted the well loved puppy and held it tight to their chest. It did make them feel a little better.
"It's bigger than I remember," said Quinn when Caitlin took a diaper from her purse and unfolded it.
"These ones are super thick, just for nighttime," Caitlin explained. “Ro might be too sleepy to help me out. Felix, can you grab their legs please and hoist them up? Yup, just like that so I can get it straight.”
Felix gripped Rowan's legs with his own arms fully extended above his head. The stuffed puppy went over Rowan’s now, sandy colored fur blending in with their own hair color and blocking everything out. Rowan hoped everyone was a little too inebriated to remember any of this tomorrow, including themself.
"Those are adorable," squealed Jasmine, seeing the caterpillar and butterfly patterned pajama set Caitlin was tugging over Rowan's head.
"Rowan picked them out a few weeks ago. It's getting too hot for footies, you know?"
The audience nodded and murmured agreements.
Caitlin pulled Rowan up and fussed with their pants until they were straightened out. She pulled the puppy away from their eyes despite a little whine from Rowan.
"You need to be able to see, sweetie. I know, I know, you want Puppy as close to you as possible all the time. You can cuddle up really good to her in the car." She turned to their friends, "Goodnight, everyone. Thanks for hosting, Quinn!"
"Of course!" said Quinn. Jasmine and Felix gave little waves.
"Mommy, I want to go home now..." Rowan inched closer to the door. They looked close to falling asleep standing up.
"Don't be rude, Ro. Say goodnight and thank you," prompted Caitlin.
Rowan yawned impressively and rubbed their eyes. "G'night. Thanks for," another yawn interrupted them, "thanks for having us."
Caitlin fished out her keys and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. She gave Rowan a pat on the bottom before grabbing their hand and steppeing out on to the porch
"Anytime, buddy," Quinn said as she shut the door behind them.
It's okay, babe. You drank a lot more than me, and it's not your fault the traffic is stopped. I know you must be bursting if you're potty dancing like that.
It's okay if you don't make it home. I don't mind if you pee your pants. I'll understand if it happens. Sometimes if you drink too much and can't get to a bathroom, there is nothing you can do about it. Lots of people pee themselves while they are stuck in traffic. It's okay if it happens to you.
I have a towel in the back seat. If you want, you could hold the towel between your legs in case you start peeing. That way, most of the pee will soak into the towel instead of your seat. You don't want to have to sit on a soaked car seat for the rest of the day, do you?
walks into the age regression bar n the bartender gives me a look n i nod signaling tht its been a hard day n i need the usual n he slides down a plate of kraft mac n cheese on a zoopals plate which. upon delivery i eat the entire plate by sliding the noodles over the tines of my fork like little sweaters one at a time
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She waddled back to the car, arms full of drinks and snacks. You'd used the bathroom. She... had not, she'd been on snack duty. Now, pizza flavored Combos in tow, she plopped back on top of the absorbent pad laid out on the passenger seat and got comfy again.
"I'm good. No change needed for a while, I think. I got you a diet Dr. Pepper!" She opened the bottle for you and put it in your cup holder. As you pulled out of the parking lot, the thought that you couldn't tell whether it was the sound of the snack bags crinkling or her diaper made you think about how the two of you got here.
You'd been besties for as long as you'd had friends, really. You'd taken each other to prom, you'd roomed together in college, you'd found jobs close enough to each other that you could hang out most weekends. She was the first person you'd come out to as non binary, and helped you through your first real, hard breakup. So a few months ago when she approached you, shaking, about a secret she'd been keeping from you, it was hard to explain how much you just wanted her to share.
Sure, she'd been a little childish growing up. You definitely got the little sister vibe from her, but you matched it with big sibling energy. No big deal. When she explained that all through college she'd been hiding wearing diapers from you, she was shocked you were more upset she'd kept it from you than she liked wearing diapers. She was even more shocked when you encouraged her to be comfortable around you - if she wanted to wear, she was welcome to. From then on, you could tell she'd been testing the waters. You were a little more reserved than her, so although you could tell when she waddled a little bit more, or when you'd been to the bathroom a few times and she hadn't been a single time, you were letting her explore at her own pace. You weren't here to pressure her to explain anything.
Now, sitting in the car for the 7 hours it took to get to the weekend long music festival you were both so excited to go to, your curiosity was getting the better of you.
"So..." You had a mouth full of Pringles you were trying desperately to chew. "The diaper thing... You mind if I ask you some questions about it?"
"We've got a fucking long drive, and I'm so board. You can ask me whatever you want as long as we don't have to listen to another Lizzy McAlpine song."
"Okay, first off, rude." She was always so good at cutting through tension. "But, okay, so like... How long have you, like, known, I guess? How long have you been, like, 'I wanna wear diapers and pee in them'? I think that's what I wanna ask first."
She took a swig of Red Bull. "Oh, fucking forever, I guess. Some people say they're hardwired diaper people. That's me. I think to some degree I've been wanting back in diapers ever since I got out of them."
"Yeah, but, when did you know know?"
"Uhh. I guess it had always been in the back of my mind? I remember being a kid and stealing diapers from the nursery a few times. I remember being weird about the diaper isle at the grocery store. I remember when I started going through puberty, being like, "I think when I grow up, I'm gonna wear diapers.' And then when we moved in together, I just kinda... started sneaking them."
"I'm still shocked I never noticed, honestly. Was I ever close to catching you?"
"Loads of times, oh my god. It freaked me out so much! You came in one morning to complain about the dishes, and I had just finished tying off a bag of wet diapers. I had to shove them under my bed so fast, I forgot I was still wearing a pull up when the door opened. If I wasn't wearing a long shirt, you'd have for sure seen it before I jumped under my covers on my bed."
"Fuck, was that what that was?? I remember you being a total space cadet that morning. I figured you were a little hungover, honestly, and I was kind of mad at you for not paying attention... Sorry."
"No need to apologize, oh my god! It was my bad, really. I should have been more careful."
"Still... sucks." The moment lingered. "Okay, next question. How often do you pee your pants?"
"Never. That is what the diapers are for." She patted her crotch, and a dull thud filled the car. "But, seriously. Uh, it depends on the week."
"Depends? Is that what you wear?"
"Very funny. No. I probably wear-"
"Wait, what kind of diapers do you wear?? I'm realizing now I've actually never seen one."
"I mean, I can show you mine, but they're just, like, big pink diapers, I guess."
"Pink?? Could you... could you seriously show me?"
She reached down and pulled the front of her sweat pants down, revealing a dull pink brief. You didn't know what you were expecting, but seeing your bestie's diaper in the flesh, sort of, was... you thought anticlimactic was the right word. Was it supposed to be weird? Was it supposed to be a revelatory experience? It felt a little strange, but nothing like what you imagined.
She pulled her pants back up, letting the waistband of the diaper poke out a bit.
"Huh. It is pink. And, like, thicker than I thought it would be."
"It's the booster."
"Booster??"
"Oh my god. I'll explain that in a minute, I'm sure. But, yeah, I wear twice a week these days on a bad week, and... like, every night on a good week."
"Every night?? So you sleep in them?"
"Actually, most nights, yeah. I kinda like it, honestly. Not having to get up in the middle of the night has been awesome for my sleep schedule. And then, like, when I work from home, I wear a lot, too. I guess I wear between 90 per cent and 50 per cent of the time, if I can afford it and I have the time to do the whole thing."
"So... would you want to wear all the time?"
"Oh god... you want me to be honest?"
"I mean, I think I know the answer."
"Yeah, probably. Especially if I had a partner that could help me. I think a lot of people are in that boat, though. At least a lot of diaper people. It's kind of hard to handle the logistics as one person. If someone else was there to help me. To change me and check me and pick up some of the slack? I could really see myself going sans-panty for long periods of time, I think."
"Fuck. Have you... have you found anyone like that?"
She slunk back in her seat. "Fuck. No. The dating scene for diaper people is terrible. I mean, it's not like there aren't cool people out there, but it's just... limited. Finding the right person, in our area, who wants the same things out of a relationship that I do that don't have anything to do with diapers, who I get along with naturally, and who aligns with my shit? It's been hard. And like, I actually talked to my stupid fucking ex back in high school about some of this stuff, but he made such a big stupid deal out of it. He really soured me on vanilla dating, honestly."
"Do you think you, like, need this kind of stuff?"
She looked out of the window. "I don't know. Probably, I guess. It's been really, really fun being able to do stuff like this-" She gestured at her diaper. "I don't know if I could go through the process of, like, turning a vanilla guy into someone who's cool with this. I kinda think I got lucky with you, or whatever. You were so cool with it. I don't think I'll get it again."
"Fuck. That sucks."
"And I can't even be a fuckin crybaby about it, because, like..." That made you both laugh.
"Okay, I don't wanna bum you out or anything, so change of subject. Or, I guess change back to subject. What the hell is a booster?"
"You really wanna know?"
"I don't know, do I?"
"It's not that big a deal, honestly. It's, like, a pad, really. Except it's flow-through. It adds extra capacity to a diaper. This is a looooong road trip, and I don't wanna change in the back seat, or like a truck stop or anything, so I put a booster pad in this diaper to hopefully make it to the hotel room. I think it'll work. I checked back at that gas station, and it hadn't made it up to the back part of the diaper yet, so I think we'll be cool with just three more hours to go."
"Okay, so like, I assume that's not just like, a large baby's diaper, right?"
"Oh... you sweet summer child. There are so. friggin. many. adult diaper brands out there right now. No, they're special made for adults, and they hold, like, 4 gallons of fluid or something."
"Oh my god? That much?"
"Some hold more. Ideally, that is. In practice, they hold a lot less. Hence the booster and pee pad. If I leaked on the seats of this rental, I think I'd freak."
"Okay, so... okay so like... can I ask you an invasive question, then?"
"We've been talking about me peeing my diaper for the last 30 minutes. I don't think anything is off the table."
You took a deep breath. "Have you ever worn the ones that look like giant baby diapers?"
"Oo ya." She said it without blinking. "I mean, the market is kind of saturated with that stuff. So, like, I'm not a huge... they call them "AB"s, that is, Adult Babies. I'm not a huge AB myself, honestly, but... I mean, I'm already wearing a diaper. Might as well be a cute one."
"Seriously??"
"They're awesome, too. Like, the looks is obviously a big part of it, but they just kinda work. Plus, who doesn't want to wear cute undies??"
"I can see it now, you with a bottle, a pamper on, and a bib."
"For now at least, no bib. But I do have a paci collection. I'll let you see it next time you're over if you want."
"... Honestly, I might have to do that."
You both giggled again. It devolved into a silence. The kind of silence that's only comfortable between two people who are more comfortable together than they are alone.
"Okay, one last one, and I'll leave you alone."
"As long as you don't leave me with Lizzy, I'll answer whatever question you got."
"Funny. Have you, like, ever done it with someone else?"
"You fuckin' know I'm not a virgin..."
"Not like that, smart ass. Like, have you ever... am I the only one that, like knows?"
"In my regular life? I guess. I mean, besides my ex, yeah. I've tried to meet people who are into it, but like I said, it's been rough. I've not met any dudes who I thought I was compatible with, and all the girls either ghost me or seem uninterested after a little while."
"Any fellow enbys?"
"You know, they're split evenly into both those previous camps. Go figure. But, nah. I'm looking for the right pervert, but so far, no dice. It is what it is."
Another comfortable silence, the sound of the desert road under the rental car.
"Okay... last last question, since nothing is off the table..."
"I do not poop in them."
"Not... what I was gonna ask... why not, though???"
"Have you ever been in a porta potty and thought, ‘boy, I wish my bedroom smelled like this’?”
“I… have not, no.”
“Me neither.”
“Okay. Seriously, though. Do you… do you use them to get off?”
She laughed. Luckily, she laughed. “My, my, how forward! A lady doesn’t kiss and tell…”
“Oh, so NOW we’re being modest??” You reached over and slapped the front of her diaper, and heard the now familiar thunk of a wet diaper.
“Fuck no. Modesty is out of the window. I do, yeah.”
“Seriously??”
“Oh yeah. A magic wand on the front of these babies does wonders.”
“Huh… and it feels… good?”
“Devine. I heard it said like this one day, ‘people don’t often complain about something warm, wet, and squishy around their genitals’. Ya know? I mean, I don’t only use them to cum. But… I definitely cum in em, yeah. In the same way that I’m sure a ton of folks jerk off with their panties on, or when they’re on the toilet or in the shower, right? I mean, if I need to nut, and I’m in a diaper… I’m just gonna nut in my diaper, ya feel me?”
It was honestly crazy how much sense that made the way she explained it. Like, of course she’d just cum in them. Of course. Not that you’d expect any less from her. She’d always been a pragmatist like that.
“You know, I’d feel bad proselytizing without offering you the chance to convert. You wanna forsake your panties at the next rest stop and join the diaper cult with me?”
After an hour of diaper talk, you’d be wrong if she didn’t make you curious. I mean, if her career didn’t work out, a life in the CIA would be fitting.
“You know, as attractive as you made pissing in your pants sound, I think I’m good right now…”
“Good. I only brought a few changes, and I’m gonna want to drink at the restaurant tonight - more for me!” You both laughed and let the moment sit. A few miles down the road, the conversation changed to something else, and the serious diaper talk was over. Who knows, maybe tonight at the hotel, you’d both drunkenly dig it back up. But for now, you were just happy you could give your friend an outlet. You could tell she was lonely with it. And after all, what are friends for?
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I wish I was cleverer. I am clever, but it’s not the right kind of clever. I need to have like. Baby classes. Where there’s a big teacher and you say yes sir or yes miss, and kick your feet and learn to be a good baby. I’d be top of that class every time. :)
