Squires Journal

So this summer has been busy. I have graduated college, I’ve been parenting and spending time with my kiddo, and we’ve gone on a family vacation. I’ll be honest in saying I’ve been out to only 2 practices since Beltane. I’ve been feeling a lot of burn out and a lot of feeling that this fun thing I’ve been doing has become more work than fun. It’s been making me think and wondering if being in leadership and peerage are really things I want. I’m hoping now that real life things are slowing down maybe the burn out will ease up, that I will go back to finding joy in being in leadership and peerage.

It’s been a couple of months since my last entry! Life has been busy, but I survived Beltane this year. I watched two of my realms mates and friends be knighted - congratulations Nea and Khnor! It was an honor to witness both of your elevations - and I even fought Khnor in her trial. Almost made her cry too because I frogged up as well, something I haven’t done in nearly 2 years.

I also fought in my first tourney! I lost, but I had fun! I fought in the single blue tourney, and my knight wasn’t even there to watch me. Thank you Tres for participating and being my first tourney fight. And thank you to Selkie, Dip n’ Dots, Rigamir, and Talon for encouraging me to get outside my comfort zone.

And I totally didn’t almost make someone choke by saying something ridiculous that made them laugh while eating. I would never say anything unhinged at all and am totally innocent. (And I’m totally not a mimic, my belt flag says so)

I’m finishing up finals and graduating college this week ✨

As we’re headed into the off season for my realm, I’m looking at things I can finally do now that I my school semester is about to end. I’ll have about a month of freedom before my spring semester starts up! Currently looking at getting a buckler shield blank and making my own shield to knock something off of my squire requirements. Foam smithing and armor making are things that are a little outside of my realm of knowledge so I’m excited to dip my toes in and learning some new things.

I will say at some point this fall I have also misplaced my fighting gloves (oops 🫣) so I am currently looking at replacing those. Not to mention investing in some good knee pads - I’m sure my body will thank me for this one.

I know I’ll want to do more crafting between semesters I’m just not sure what I want to work on. I do have a very thick fabric that looks like bark that I think could make a really cool cloak 🤔 and my favorite pants need some mending as the side seams have been ripping a bit.

Mini post-EQ dump (maybe I’ll come back and write something more lengthy later) :

• this is my 3rd event being an event coordinator, it’s so much work and I’m always so tired from running around but it’s probably the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.

• I didn’t get in nearly as many spars as I wanted, but Sunday I did get some good spars in with some out of state friends. I felt so much support in my journey to learn fighting and it was great.

• I got to sit in on a Nadar language class and a Tengu ritual hosted by my friend Stellar - it was a great experience, I enjoy getting to learn about the different lores and backgrounds of Belegarth.

• I got to hang out with my knight and all of our friends, make new friends, and enjoy my community and it really just helped rejuvenate my spirits.

On 8/10/25, I took a leap and barreled into The Great Hunt. I went from “I occasionally spar on the sides and maybe fight on the field when it’s no more than 4v4” to “I’m going to do a combat heavy barrel and fight like 8 people in 1v1 repeatedly until I beat all of them”.

There was no time limit, no limit on how many times I had to face each person. I fought Knights, Squires, and a Blade Masters Apprentice from my realm. People I look up to, my friends, and newer realm members.

10 fights with Squire Khnor 8/10/2025 - learning flail

Advice from Khnor afterwards: stabilize your shield, you let it float towards the side as you fight. It can’t protect you that way, make sure to keep the shield where it needs to be.

Belegarth is a community, and while a large aspect of that community is combat focused there are other facets of the community. There’s leadership (realm leadership, units, houses, guilds), volunteering (events, classes, marshaling, weapons check), crafting (garb making, foam smithing, leather working, etc), and so much more. Belegarth is kind of like a jewel with many different sides.

10 fights with Syr Goldbug 7/27/25 - learning flail

Advice from Bug after the fights: let’s work on not taking the bait from your opponent, and learning how to combo your own fake with a shot.

My observations: with flails, don’t bring shield in when the opponent strikes - work on pushing shield out to prevent wrap around and moving forward to counter strike. Footwork needs work. Don’t be afraid to move in to strike, ya got short arms dude; you need to close the distance.

May 3rd, 2025 - Beltane XXIX

The knighting of Sir Cornix the Celerity Knight (photo credit to FLNT/Sawyer Richardson; pictured is Syr Talon proceeding over the knighting as Sir Cornix kneels. Creek is presenting Cornix with a spear as his knighting weapon.)

This was the moment I officially stepped into my squireship! I had retained under Cornix during his squireship for a little over a year, and I was still really nervous to step into squiring - what if I’m not good at being a leader? What if I fail?

But the truth is that I am going to fail - maybe not entirely, but I’ll have moments where I fail at tasks. And I’m not gonna be a great leader right from the start. Being a squire is the start of my dedication to learn though - learn how to better communicate, how to listen to others, how to provide a safe space for people in the community.

So will I mess up? Absolutely. But the goal isn’t to be perfect. My goal is to grow. My goal is to stumble and pick myself back up and keep trying. My goal is to learn about my community and work towards making it even better.