squiddlingiggly

in grade 6 and every time we had a movie day or class party id ask my mom for a can of doctor pepper but i had to keep it in my backpack and it always got shaken up and would explode when i opened it bcus we all know dr pepper has much more chaos inside the can than any other soda and anyways my whole class instinctively knew every time that my doctor pepper would explode and we'd have to pause the movie and clean it up and id usually be covered in dr pepper for the rest of the day and be super embarrassed and this happened to me about twelve times throughout the year. you might be wondering why i couldnt keep my dr pepper in my locker until we watched the movie and its because i didnt have a locker in grade six after i left a piece of pumpkin pie that my teacher gave me in there for a month and it rotted and molded so bad and there were maggots everywhere so one day i locked the locker and refused to open it ever again so for a whole year i carried all my stuff around because i was afraid to go to admin and tell them about my maggot pie because someone started a rumor that if the principle figured out you did something bad she would lock you down in the basement storage room that was infamous for having a giant rat that lived inside of it and i was afraid of rats after seeing ratatouille because i thought a rat might climb inside my hair and start controlling me and force me to do things i didnt want to do like make soup

theyre going to put a fucking band on me

the ladies love my colourful and bright leg band

i have fathered a disproportionate amount of the local egg population as a result of my colourful and bright leg band

girl help your colorful and bright leg band is disrupting the ornithologists' data

someone’s mad he doesn’t have a colourful and bright leg band

youre fucking up my statistics

know what else is being fucked?

AAGH AAGH AAGH

I mean yeah I carry a sadness that exhausts my will to live like a leach on my heart but I’m basically fine

fuck this *closes the lid of my coffin*

Just to be a thing now? is this my legacy…..

Always forgotten. Remembered never.

tumblr genuinely has some of the best memes out there solely because they’re so specific and situational, with the joke being carried in the topic instead of the format. like twitter memes are based on relatability, tiktok memes are so formulaic that it’s pretty much the same joke but with a different soundtrack every time, but here you can see a skateboarder and say “that’s my cousin throckmorton” and everyone will understand, even if it’s been months since we last saw throcky

thats a grown man