SquidBlinks

The work features graphic(?) descriptions of intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation and self harm as a pre warning but I have explicitly stated it in the work itself and the tags.

Also some drawings of him because dude he’s so cute pie even if there’s all that wrong with him and also a card edit

poll UNDER THE CUT ->

FISH SPECIMEN YOU WON FROM A SHOOTING GAME BOOTH THAT YOU DIDN'T FEEL LIKE CARRYING HOME

Translation credit Shiru

I wanna take another breath, I wanna feel as if reborn

Though I struggle to stand tall, I cry and scream until tears fall

Do I keep living? Or give up trying?

These contradicting thoughts, confuse me

Within these verses (lyrics), I’ll write my feelings,

And sing like a carcass that’s alive!

For was when I sang with my shaky voice for the first time

I realized I could breath and see

The miracle of music running free

If music is subjective to the ears of those who hear

I’ll raise my voice clear

—and convey the sounds of my feelings

I won’t despair or be afraid

Of my mistakes along the way

They say this is the “right way”

‘Words of wisdom’—I refute!

“It’s my fault, it’s always my fault”

And I won’t deny—I am a fool

I’ll be hurt and I’ll hurt you

A cycle of love and pain

In the sight, I see—the present I’ve dreamed of for so long

If it’s so, I can toss away the past ideals of who I was

O’heart of mine, promise me: Keep beating! Keep beating!

And even if unsteady, my pulse is my own!

A long time ago…I’d grown to hate the light,

But like the stars I see, it blinds my eyes with its spotlight,

My heart is still beating; faint as it may be,

Dramatically, I reach for my nonsense feelings…

I wanna take another breath, I wanna feel as if reborn

Though I struggle to stand tall, I cry and scream until tears fall

Do I keep living? Or give up trying?

These contradicting thoughts, confuse me

Within these lyrics (verses), I’ll write my feelings,

And keep my flame alive!

In the days, I have lived—I know I’ve wanted to disappear early

Though I kept on living, neither feeling contradicts a thing

O’heart of mine, promise me: Keep singing! Keep singing!

And with both hope and despair, I have moved forward!

————

Translation credit ahirutama

Hey, don’t you see? I can’t make up my mind

It’s all entangled and won’t dare unbind

All alone I stand in a world echoing

(All alone I stand on a stage echoing)

A monologue

No matter how hard I try to convey

These thoughts, these thoughts a merry-go-round

(‘Round and ‘round, my thought process goes)

I’m falling and failing—I’m slipping

A hunger I can’t stop

My mind is just so maze-like

Like a cul-de-sac in a labyrinth

And even a dead end…won’t stop my rise

I’ll reach you, stardom!

(I’ll soar to stardom!)

Why try all alone? You have a friend in me don’t you know?

Come and join the fools, let’s have some fun and reach out towards those stars!

Maybe I can’t reach the stars that I have wished upon—idolizing dreams

Seams becoming clear, take the ladder here, Dreamers

I’ve got nothing to fear! I can’t return from here! Even if hopeless…

How reckless this mess is an adventure—yeah!

Take a seat, please, IT’S SHOWTIME!

Hey, hold it! Hold it! I think I…

Forgot my lines, what’s the next line?

I’m lost, alone in this world where

(I’m lost, alone on this stage where)

End credits roll

(The curtains fall)

How come I’m just so pathetic…?

The popcorn and applause

(There’s no sounds of crowds)

Tastes so bitter, I can’t savor

(Crowds burnt by the same stories)

Defeat tastes so bitter!

I feel so helpless in the messiness

Am I backtracking? Circling ‘round

The unexpected is so wondrous…

(An unexpected program is wonderful)

…it shines bright, showtime!

(A spice to my bitter life!)

Why try to take shortcuts out of all the fun you’ve rode?

Take a stand now! GO! GO! With a smile as you face life’s roller coaster!

I’m performing poorly it’s all pathetic—dreams I hold too close

Reminded of the sky where fireworks spoke of Challengers

I’ll rise from darkened days! I’ll cry within your care! The sorrow won’t stop me…

The flowers and these songs, comfort me, see?

(The lights and these sounds, comfort me, see?)

So raise your head ‘cause the SHOW MUST GO ON!

The greed of an ordinary man, crawling in his vain pursuits

Fooled by his narcissism; gives his all…gives his all—to the top!

You’re the star!

A lie or two is fine; bluff your lines

You jumped the gun? The scenes come undone

Your lies realized! No matter how hard you try—the distant price

No, my heart is unsatisfied!

The words I can’t describe; balloons of unknown types; nostalgic stars in the sky

And travelers take flight across the galactic night sky

(And our dreams carry across the galactic night sky)

No, the story’s not done! No, I have much to do!

Though someday, the curtains will call

So until that day comes…don’t fall!

(When the clock strikes…it’s done!)

It’s the magic of the night, join us in a dance to the Stardust Parade

Listen to our tales, the fun will never end, Dreamers

(Listen to your dreams, play with us again, Dreamers)

I swear I will not forget! I swear I will not cry! ‘Cause this is not goodbye

So reckless this mess is our legend—yeah!

So now look ahead; step-by-step

Take the stage with a “Wonderhoy!”

Translation credit Thai1210

In the future I’ve found, I’m strong

Though tears may fall

And I want to protect everything including weakness

Even in my sorrow

In the days we laughed together

I was satisfied, but there was more adventure

And like a flash before my eyes

Something changed and the city seemed quite different

And the fruits we had once dreamed

Nihilist had grown them it seemed

Why not take a bite? Might be ugly though ripe

Goodbye, this is how we part

But I’m already different from you, I can’t be like you

No, I can’t retread the trail

My biggest fear is failure!

In the future I’ve found, I’m strong

Though tears may fall

And I want to protect everything including awkwardness

Even in my sorrow

To the thousands of dazzling fools I see

I’ll sing with love ‘til I’m content

So I can reach that place, sparkling bright

A twinkle illuminating the night

Are we to see angels and devils?

Or is it a ghost, I see?

Am I in Heaven? Am I in Hell?

A distant future…

We speak casually of humanity

At our age, we stare and run around all night

Putting together an imitation that’s proud

But I’m another in the crowds

Crashing out at the pain that remains

I kick a wall, bouncing back unchanged

No matter what, my lies are crushed

Seared in my memories

When I feel sober, an ugly drunken stupor

Do you feel your ideals so strongly you look ahead?

So move step-by-step, such a pitiful owl

Meaning nothing if you haven’t even tried

Pah! The flash opens my eyes in death

Goodbye, Heaven! It’s time I return to Hell!

It’s forever, it’s forever—my love just like “always”

Surely enough that place will change in time

Filled with things I don’t know…it’s certain

Leaving a bitter taste, I don’t wanna feel

Though I still fear what it may well be

Hear them ring, the sirens enveloping the city

Making our way through the messiness in a frenzy

‘Til we reach today, tomorrow too

With this wound of mine, scarring overtime

Were to make a profit, would it be a crime?

Don’t you say: “You can live with such”

No complaints!

In the future I’ve found, I’m strong

Though tears may fall

And I want to protect even my awkward weakness

Even in my sorrow

To the thousands of dazzling fools I see

I’ll sing with love ‘til I’m content

So I can reach that place, sparkling bright

A twinkle illuminating the night

Are we to see angels and devils?

Or is it a ghost, I see?

Am I in Heaven? Am I in Hell?

Translation credit Thai1210

Even as a child, your cries ring true

Emotions won’t need to be your tools

Even in the smoke, I’ll find my way

I’ll break free and save the day

So I swear to you—the love we share!

Call it love as you like, it’ll fade in time

Bubbles so dream-like

It’s the reality of love and burdens I hold

And it’ll follow me forevermore

Although I wish endlessly to hold

The further away our distance is made

If I gave up, would I be a good child?

Caring only for logic and sound reasons

Though the beauty and fairytale is erased before our very eyes

“More” now, we feel like hurting one another

And this passion is hurting our compassion

No, I’ll prove you all wrong!

The sounds of my heartbeat shall ring forever

Allow my love to wash you with hope

Allow me to wipe away your fears

And follow the paint our fingers trace

Even if no one knows within what’s known

Somewhere a solution I’ve hoped

I’ll still pray ‘til that day

La~la~la~la~la ahh

If you wish to be forgiven,

When have you ever forgiven someone else?

The passion blurs my eyes with dread

And the night sky—clouds cover me overhead

In the sorrow of the tragic heroine:

“Is this all there is? Is this the end?”

No, this play is not done—my love for you

And thus…I’ll burn if it saves you

Even if God wills a different order; calling it as “hopeless”

I still want to try to change my “childish” self

It’s ‘cause I realized fruit doesn’t ripen as fate has said

So, my eyes are open

These hands are “possible” through cold dishes polished

I want to be spoiled and weak

Though I’d never let you see inside me

“I want to love,” these words I have said

Cliché and hollow—I don’t want them to seem

Aah!

Here we are sewing ideals bursting at the seams

Seeing our failures; our prides we have reached

While our hopes stay high even when shot through

—our hearts! We won’t accept defeat!

No matter how hard we try to

It’ll pile up, I swear even still…

…I’ll believe you!

Translation credit Thai1210

Commission for @ruidrones

(Great job!)

Yeah Yeah Yeah

In a body living highly,

Living whole from head to toe

I won’t relive those days—it’s used, it’s used

‘Til I tire from exhaustion

Living with imagination up high

Standing at the peak where reason and

Truth await, making

Every fragment of life—I won’t let spill out now

Maybe I won’t awaken with open eyes

Oh well, I know—I can retry tens and thousands of times

Towards uncertainty, my eyes meet

The dazzling future, trading my body to reach

I don’t know nor do I see the beauty you find

Though I want to understand if you don’t mind

The stars are distant on the horizon line

And even as regret coils, you’re beside me

Allowing me to walk with certainty—towards the future (whoa-oh-ah!)

Ah! An unexpected blackout

But the stage is still right? No—magic spills out!

“Well, it wasn’t me!”

Even as contraptions unused are picked out

I’ll keep living, flowing through time

Ah! Something’s happening now

And yet only ordinary words come to mind

The part I played was snatched away,

I felt a cold chill—like a ghost was watching me from afar

Couldn’t ripen my ideas colors

And it makes me want to cry in deep sorrow

I have found the light, and I can erase it

The darkness and hollowness can dissipate

Towards tomorrow, I see that distant place

Joining the parts of my burnt out body

I feel ready for the cold to warm with the stars

Please don’t forget the trail you’ve walked, nothing can ever change

The bond we’ve forged and joined together by fate

See? Watch the light lower, applause will ring out

And yet still, where to go? I don’t know where my next step will lead from here

In living my life, where pain remains

I don’t believe in dying or living alone

I’m content carrying half the burden we hold

Though the choice is hard and transparent we are

I’d still like to reach out (Great job!)

I don’t know nor do I see the beauty you find

Though I want to understand if you don’t mind

The stars are distant on the horizon line

And even as regret coils, you’re beside me

Allowing me to walk with certainty—towards the future

I won’t give up, no matter what!