Sparkling in the dark, deep sea!

All that matters is I’m here, you’re here, and I’m in need of some quick cash. Tell me, Urmael–

[Iamiria swings the blaster off his back and cocks it threatening, though his face is all smiles.]

–How much do you think a Tikkan prince would sell to a Ssarrhan Heir?

[Urmael hisses angrily, holding up the soup ladle.] 

[He sets his blaster to stun and aims down the sights.]

[Squid–Iamiria, really–glances over his shoulder, and oh. Oh Fimaeus, is that Porgaj Urmael…?]

[Lucky day.]

[A slimy grin creeps over his lips as he turns around and folds his arms behind him. He looks, for all the world, completely non-threatening, though he’s actually reaching for the blaster strapped to his back.]

Ah, if it isn’t the little prince. It’s been too long.

[The half of the shrimp that had been hanging out of Urmael’s mouth drops to the floor as he glares at Iamairia.]

YOU. 

[And here he is without a fucking weapon. Fimaeus forsake him.]

[He reaches behind him and grabs the first thing his fingers touch, which happens to be a soup ladle. He holds it up menacingly.] 

[Iamiria swings the blaster off his back and cocks it threatening, though his face is all smiles.]

[He’s expecting another package from Amazon, so today he goes upstairs, slime squelching from his feet as he opens the door and runs a few slimy tentafingers through his hair. He goes to the refrigerator, rummaging through the container of wriggling shrimp and grabbing a fist full of the sea creatures before shoving them into his mouth.] 

[Urmael’s getting used to the fact that he’s just. alive now. According to Tikkan aging, he should have been released from duty over a year ago so he could die in peace. But then he didn’t die. Which is weird. But considering the fact that his babysitting charge hasn’t died either makes him wonder if there’s something about Earth that’s fucking with their biological state.]

[He’s pondering all of this when he hears footsteps behind him. He shoves one more wriggling shrimp into his mouth before shutting the door to the fridge and wiping his mouth on the back of his slimy hand.] 

Squid, we need more of those delightful little bottom feeders that humans call “shrimp”. We’re just about out.

[Lucky day.]

[A slimy grin creeps over his lips as he turns around and folds his arms behind him. He looks, for all the world, completely non-threatening, though he’s actually reaching for the blaster strapped to his back.]

A “merdude?” Oh, that can’t be. Mermaids look like this.

[From his purse, he produces a picture, which he just happens to be carrying, of a Fiji Mermaid.]

I don’t know much about what can and can’t be. I just know what I is for right now. And right now that’s a merdude.

[He leans over to check out the photo.]

[slides the photo back into his purse]

A “merdude?” Oh, that can’t be. Mermaids look like this.

[From his purse, he produces a picture, which he just happens to be carrying, of a Fiji Mermaid.]

I don’t know much about what can and can’t be. I just know what I is for right now. And right now that’s a merdude.

[He leans over to check out the photo.]

[Squid walks up to you (yes, you, personally) and delicately places a seashell in your hands.]

Dope.

You are quite welcome, Frickboy.

[SQUINTS]