Feed my nipples

you turned the computer on 😳

I sneezed in class and it turned into one of those “who farted” sorts of interrogations and everyone was defending me because I was wearing a mask and that meant I didn’t have a nose.

I was framed for the murder of a biblically accurate angel and in the middle of the court proceedings God came down from heaven and hit me over the head with a golf club and then I woke up in tears.

These guys look like some kinda Zelda merchants that sell you artichokes and pumpkins, respectively.

i can finally die in peace

a shy, pudgy white sixth grader wearing new balance sneakers who is dropped off and picked up from school every day by what is 100% undoubtedly, just based on obvious visual cues and context, 3-4 extremely serious yakuza thugs

i dont bite people anymore. but i did as a child cos i thought i was a werepuppy. also i was still mormon so i would go into the school bathroom at 11:11 everyday (not a mormon thing i was just obsessed with witches n pretended i was one in 5th grade) and pray that god would turn me into a little dog so i could stop going to school. and i was always like "if you don't turn me into a little dog i will STOP BELIEVING IN YOU" and he didn't so i did.

just laughed hysterically at the gripping foods with force twitter account

I just love that multiple people not only though “the black one is a princess and those are her bodyguards” but also came to the conclusion “they’re also, obviously, samurai.”

Fan fiction reader insert

well the horrors may be beyond YOUR comprehension, but I comprehend them perfectly

*gets creampied evilly*

you’re too far gone

#oh so this is one of those paintings where it’s actually the title that knocks you into next tuesday huh (via astriiformes)