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When I was younger it would crush me, I became hopeless and depressed under the weight but now I could never imagine dying now or even wishing death upon myself. I can't die now, I just have so much to do.

I have so much art to look at, books to read, music to listen to, cities to see, people to meet, languages to learn, things to study, so many arts to refine and just idle things to do.

I have what I call the pinnacle to do list. A list of things I need to do, it's mostly things I need to organize, perfect, finalize, but what I've found is that it's never ending. Once I finish a task, I feel so accomplished and yet after I've finished it I will think of 10 more things to add to the list. I really don't know what I'll do when I finish the list. I don't know if I ever will.

I used to think that the finishing of the list meant that I would finally be perfect, everything would be done; but now I see that's hardly true.

I hope the list never ends, I hope I never become 'perfect' I hope when I die my ghost sticks around and goes through the motions of the things I could never finish.