Fuck It, I’m already Dead

all that and i havent killed myself yet i must really love this stupid fucking life

"less is more" is a lie perpetuated by big small to sell more less

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

the worst part of summer is that people get sooo comfortable expressing their disgust at having to see other people’s bodies. they’re always complaining about wrinkly old men at the nude hot springs or fat women in bikinis at the beach. I hate that shit. if you’re not capable of being normal about bodies you personally don’t find attractive, just turn your head to look at something else! and if you’re not smart enough to do that, then at least do the rest of us the courtesy of suffering in silence, because we don’t wanna hear your weird comments. thanks.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to walk through the body of a God?

@derinthescarletpescatarian

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

i got bit by a radioactive shrimp at walmart and now i have super bad posture

But you can fry rice like nobody's business

can you take my white ass to funkytown

nope. torture city again

come on

hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"