People always say that it doesn't make sense for Mulder to be an atheist, because he believes in all the impossible things, but somehow god is where he draws the line. and to that I say. you're wrong. it makes perfect sense for him to be so cynical about religion. he was 12 when his sister disappeared. maybe he's seen his mom pray, tearful, desperate, for her little girl to come back. maybe some family friends promised to pray for her too. maybe he himself asked god for Samantha's return: after all, why wouldn't a being so benevolent and powerful grant them this one wish? but months pass, then years, and Samantha is still gone. maybe he's looked into different religions, prayed to other gods. but it's no use: she's still gone. churches ask for donations, as though american currency could make their god hear the prayers better. there are reports of catholic priests molesting children. why would god allow that? disappointed in the divine, Mulder tries another approach: he undergoes regression therapy to make sense of the events that have been haunting him all this time, to fill that gaping hole in his memory. and the answer is presented to him, however ridiculous it might appear. but, seeing as neither god nor law can bring her back, he decides to research into this thing. and the more he digs, the more proof he finds. finally, he has something tangible to lean against, to maybe one day confront and demand answers. he was ready to give up, but now? now he wants to believe.
