yikes

now THAT’s arty.

My friend was shuffling a new tarot deck and she said excitedly “I cant wait to see what sort of bond I have with this deck!” And then the first card she pulled was the fool

Self care is replaying Mass Effect for the millionth time

‘bathilda bagshot’ luring harry into her house and refusing to speak to him until hermione was gone, banking on the fact that he wouldn’t notice that he was speaking parseltongue, was a brilliant way to weaponise harry potter’s ridiculous obliviousness to everything that is happening to him

i put new yellow shoelaces on my boots to show people i am Cool. I walk to my work full of old lady cashiers. “I like your shoelaces.” one of them says to me. I see my life flash before my eyes as this ancient test is presented before me

Op did you say it

did you say it op

“i don’t like either candidate so i won’t vote” what are you thinking, if enough people wuss out we’re going to have President None Of The Above? hey we’re counting the votes and ten percent of voters stayed home and jerked it to their own ideological purity, guess we just won’t have a president and all the executive level decisions will be made by a magic 8-ball for the next 4 years

i wrote this 2 years ago and – yeah. look, let’s just learn, ok? midterms coming up, pull up your big citizen pants and go do the thing.

i love terry

Me too

What is the most heterosexual thing you have ever seen?

that is incredibly heterosexual

How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn’t cool anymore?

‘Tis the fuckin’ season, friends!! Get out there and live your worst life!!

What the fuck is happening

Why don’t you grab a can of ravioli and ask!

Me: *takes a shot of moon water* so I hear you wanna know about witchcraft