Supernatural Yap

this blog will contain spoilers (duh).

Hello! Mostly just me rambling to myself about Supernatural, especially Sam and Dean. They are my fav's and i love talking about their unhealthy, sweet but incredibly co-dependant relationship.

NOT w*ncest. Please do not reblog my posts with those tags. The ship makes me uncomfortable

my fav character is Sam . i find him deeply relatable, tho ofc love Dean too. Cannot be a fan of Sam yet hate dean .

spn chars i like: Sam, Dean, Crowley, Rowena, Cas, Bobby, jack, Belphegor, Charlie, Gabriel, death( the og).

💔💔💔💔

There were applications or some documents on Dean's desk when Sam went to sit in there, and he claimed that he thought they were Sams.

His kind of interpretation was that after Dean's death, Sam would sit in Dean's room for a while because it was the only place he really felt comforted. He'd spend a while in there /most of his time there and as a result , when he was looking for jobs to apply to , the papers were in Dean's room.

💔😭😭😭😭 STOP THAT'S SO SAD

I do also think bc Dean raised Sammy and raised him right , he knows that how John treats the two of them is in no way acceptable and that despite him being their dad, it doesn't absolve him from being critiqued.

Both Dean and John have this bond and shared trauma ahout their mother, which brings a closeness between them, but it also sort of blinds Dean to critiquing him sometimes as he deeply understands the scar it leaves.

I will never be able to get over the scene of Dean claiming he'd trade everyone in order to kill Chuck, only for him to immediately backtrack when Sams asks ," What about me? Would you trade me?"

His demeanour shifts bc ofc he'd never trade his baby brother for anything , and he realises the weight of his words despite still being clearly frustrated and upset.

I find it funny even in the very last season of the show, Sam and Dean are still very clearly co-depend on each other , eventho imo their relationship is healthier than it use to be in some ways.

The fact that Sam spent the rest of his life after Dean died , mourning him , will never not shatter me.

He named his kid after him. kept photos everywhere of him. Couldn't even seem to look at the impala with it being covered up because lf him.

Thinking about how after Dean dies , Sam likely sat with his body for a good long while , holding him tight with loud sobs. He didn't want to accept his big brother, and his best friend was dead. He also didn't want to let go of him because he knew if he did, he'd be letting go of his last ever hug with him as well.

Eventually, he would calm down enough, just to be able to start moving deans body off the bar in hopes of bringing his corpse to the car. When he does, though , he sees the blood left coating the rebar and feels the hole it left in his brothers back. It reminds him just of how very real this all is , and he can't help but break down again , hyperventilating. He'd end up half sitting down on the floor with him, feeling too weak to walk to the car with him now, and cries into him again. He'd rock him while he'd mutter and mumble things to himself and to his brother , repeatedly denying the situation , apologising, and other little short words of affection and denial.

It would take him a long while to move him to the car to be able to find somewhere to burn his body, but he finally does.

He doesn't even want to look at the drivers seat when he gets ready to drive the car out, let alone sit in it. It would be like ruining the imprint Dean left on it. His fingerprints on the wheel from less than an hour before , the way he left the car positioned. Baby would be hauntingly frozen in time, like Dean wasn't dead. That Sam could just sit there and pretend if he tried really hard , that Dean simply had gone off for a bit but would be back soon enough with a smirk on his face, and some cheeky remark that would make Sam roll his eyes.

I imagine Sam probably hasn't spoken to dean in a long time, considering he seems to have far forgotten his hunting days with his new ted talks and crap. I can imagine maybe Dean calls him occasionally and for a time sam answered his calls, but for the most part he probably doesn't anymore and it burns both of them in different ways.

Sam is very distant with Dean and John, but with them being his family and Dean always being there for him as a kid , there is probably some part of him somewhere that misses his older brother. While he may have money and fame and status , there is likely a part of him that isn't truly happy , and i think the same goes for Dean and his life hunting.

If they spoke again , which would most probably be due to a serious event, it would 100 percent be awkward and uncomfortable neither of them knowing how to speak to the other or even who the other person is anymore. At the same time , I think it would make them both realize how much they miss each other , or rather the relationship they use to have and while they'd deffo argue a lot at first, esp considering Sam seems a bit pretentious, eventually something would bring them together and they would start getting along again .

I can vividly see that specific Sam kind of looking down on dean when they speak again and mentally and physically keeping distance between them , while dean is bitter about this and the fact Sam ditched both him and his father for this fancy life he has .

I feel like Sam and Dean, while incredibly unhealthy in their relationship, need each other and ground each other at the same time. Dean and Sam understand each other deeply , and i don't really think that anyone else understands them both like they do, which is likely why they are so co-dependent. On top of that as well, the only consistent person as kids in each other's lives growing up was one another.

Anyway I love to ramble

For a refresh , Dean's having a nightmare of being trapped under the ocean in a box to contain Micheal and himself.

He looks so afraid , I genuinely don't think I've ever seen Dean this openly terrified through the whole show, likely because he's not performing his big, tough persona he usually does.

What's really getting me with this scene though , is not just how afraid he is , but how , in this fear , the only person dean crys out for , screams out for in the darkness and into the void is his baby brother sammy. It actually shatters my heart because there are more people he could easily call out for who he trusts and cares for. Cas for example is one that comes to mind , but no , even now with a bigger family than he had in the past , with his mum back who he should likely feel most protected by , it's still always Sam he calls out for.

I really love this detail as it's something that's pretty consistent in the show. Despite Dean being the older brother and protector of sammy , he still feels the most safe , most content, and most protected around his brother.

I think people forget Sam protects Dean as well as Dean protecting Sam. They've both got each other's backs , to a point it's very unhealthy , and they both know that. They know they would go to hell and back for the other, which is why, even with Dean being the older of the pair, he still finds safety in him.

Another thing I want to point out in season 14 is something i noticed to do with Sammy in episode 15, where Sam is Justin. As Cas holds Sam off from stabbing him with the angel blade , he starts telling Sam he can't give up on himself , as that would be giving up on everyone else too in relation to his grief . He starts mentioning people that he would be giving up on and while everyone else ofc gives a reaction, Dean's name is the thing that makes his stop and snap out of it almost instantly.

I think cas most certainly knew Dean would most likely be the one to snap him out of it, as it's the final card he plays on him when it seems like he's not going to drop the angel blade. He was right as well LOL, and it worked.

They are brothers , best friends , protectors of each other and just care for each other to an extreme length it makes my heart hurt I adore them sm.