low level listening

I just finished a job interview that I think went pretty well but it’s scary not knowing how many other candidates are in the running and if they’re gonna answer the questions better than me, but now that I know how good the pay and benefits are I feel like preemptively crying out of fear that I won’t get the job

lost my job for real today and couldn’t even bring myself to say it to my parents

I wish people took me seriously and didn't act like I'm overreacting when I think I'm gonna be treated bad by people who have shown me time and time again that they're totally willing to treat me bad and think nothing of it

even though I don't live alone now I still can't shake how completely lonely I feel in the big picture. kinda want to make a new blog where nobody knows me, kinda want to move out of state alone. mostly I wish somebody would invite me too

two important people in my life have told me I’m stupid, and even though it’s been a while, it’s had such an unshakeable impact on me and I don’t think they even realize it. I doubt everything I know and feel like no one has a reason to think I’m skillful. I feel distant from my family and all but like 3 of my friends and I think about moving out of the country every day

I don’t even remember how I found out about sunn in high school or what was going on when I got really into this stuff, but pretty crazy that I got to be a part of bringing them to dallas for the first time and get to hang out at their load in right now

maybe I will revive my blog with creative things I’ve been doing instead of only posting when I’m really sad