do you remember what it felt like to believe that god cared about you? it feels like so long ago. he was everything to you and you were just another fallen body in his holy war. just another glassy eyed sacrificial lamb spilling blood from its throat. maybe he did love you but not enough to save you. not more than he loved his grand plan.

having an eating disorder is like being possessed. it waits for a moment of weakness, a chip in the armor to slip through and suddenly im watching something else pilot my body, make decisions for me, lie to the people i love. it’s me and it’s something else entirely. i don’t know where i end and it begins.

there needs to be some kind of support group for when you wake up from a hyper realistic dream in which you were in love and happy

how wonderful to feel this pain!! what a joy to experience the ache of loss because it means that i had something meaningful!! i am exquisitely deliciously painfully human ! what a wonder to even exist!!

ten hour shift with no break today. planning a coworker appreciation dinner that our managers were supposed to give us. listening to my coworkers rant about my managers. listening to my managers rant about my coworkers. i am holding this fucking family together with duct tape rn

being off my depression meds is so wack i want my sertraline back