Neytiri and Spider analysis
I think that, deep down, Neytiri loved Spider. However, for a long time, that love was made impossible by her resentment toward the Sky People. I think that without the return of the RDA, and given a little time, Neytiri might have eventually let her guard down around him.
In fact, the comic The High Ground clearly show how Neytiri initially tried to keep Spider away from her children, only to gradually resign herself to his presence—even if she didn't fully accept him. At one point, during a confrontation where Spider insists he had no hand in the war on Pandora, Neytiri lets slip: "Not you... your people." These few words clearly indicate that, despite the tension between them, a part of her acknowledges that Spider is right. In The Gap Year ( (i haven't read The Gap Year but this scenes are important for this post), she continues to exclude Spider from family activities, but eventually comes to entrust him with the responsibility of looking after Tuk and the children when she has to go into battle.Even though she warns Spider that she holds me responsible for the children's safety, with his very life (Spider himself promises her as much), I see this as proof that a part of her wants to trust him. Although she had several opportunities to see that Spider could act responsibly, it was not until the moment in Avatar 3 when Spider used his body to shield Jake from RDA agents at Bridgehead that Neytiri realized he was not only genuinely concerned for their fate but also willing to risk his life to protect others—just as a true Na'vi would.
In Avatar: The Way of Water, when she raised her blade against Spider, I saw shock in her eyes beneath the anger.
During Spider’s first crisis in Avatar 3, Neytiri held back, yet her breathing grew anxious and does not fully look away. In Omaticaya, when she suggested killing him, it was clear from her eyes that she was shocked by her own words; but she was blinded by pain, fear and anger.
Now I'm sure that if Neytiri had been in Jake’s shoes during the sacrifice scene, she wouldn't have gone through with it either; she would have hit a mental block, broken down, and realized that her words didn't reflect her true feelings.
This actually confirms the moment in The High Ground where Kiri tells Spider that Neytiri loves him. She just needed to open her eyes. And this draws an indirect parallel to her relationship with Jake. In Avatar, Neytiri learned to love as partner a human in a Na'vi body, where as in Avatar 2 and Avatar 3, she learned to love a Na'vi in a human body with a mother's love.
