Selfship loser

I'm Semko 🌟 they/he/she 🌟 20+ y.o

I blog about art from my love for Waterboy I’ve been into self-shiping for many years and Herman is my strongest crush of all 🫧

ukr/rus/eng: I'm using a translator for the text, so there may be errors or misunderstandings

I also have a Self-Insert Dispatch OC. You can learn more about them here: 🌟

I draw a lot about my personal insecurities, silly comics, Waterboy illustrations, and Dispatch-related content. The topics on my blog can sometimes touch on erotic or traumatic themes that I process through my art. So please consider whether you’d like to see this kind of content or if you’d rather move on

I really love anonymous questions and always try to draw something in response! So if you’ve sent me a message and I haven’t replied yet, I might just be working on a picture for you!

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my main artblog: 🍅

Some my art ↓

Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of the creation process. Just a couple of photos of the paint job

I made him out of air-dry clay, which is a difficult material for me to work with because it's too soft and easily gets on my fingers and everything around me, but the result turned out very cute anyway. Although the acrylic paint also caused me some problems... :-Ь

I spent so many hours on just one minute of animation it’s ridiculous 🤪

Actually, these few frames bring me so much comfort, love, and warmth that, at the same time, I feel such terrible sadness and disappointment that I can’t experience this comfort in reality, only in my imagination

I don’t consider myself a particularly touchy person with those around me. I can hug my friends if they initiate it, but it’s always quick and not very tight. But I desperately want someone to be close to me long enough to just lie there in their embrace and feel the weight of their arms on me

When someone strokes my back, I feel a deep sense of love, because I immediately feel as if I’ve been taken back to my childhood, when I was gently stroked on the back as I fell asleep. I miss that right now

It’s really frustrating to live in a state of not understanding myself, not knowing what to do or what all my feelings and thoughts mean. It’s as if everything is on pause, and so am I

Depression sucks, or something like that 👎

I like to think that Herman accepts me completely and doesn't blame me for not being able to invest enough emotionally in him, and that our relationship can be 30% to 70%, and that he's perfectly fine with that because he understands me and isn't afraid of my emotions

And for him, it’s completely normal to be with me even on the worst days, when he knows I’m not capable of doing anything or even just existing. Because he loves me even then

Your f/o loves you just the way you are because you love them just as much in return 🫵

Well, here we are at the end of my studies. I spent four years studying to earn a bachelor’s degree in art

I could complain a lot about my art school and how my education actually lags far behind that of many other schools

And even my thesis advisor said I got in only because of luck, not skill

Yes, I’m not a great artist, I still haven’t reached even an average level, but I’m going to keep drawing anyway. Because for me, art is more than just a job or a course of study

Actually, toward the end of my studies, I started to lose interest in drawing altogether, because constantly feeling like a failure and not having the strength to even pick up a brush really kills your motivation. But when this semester came around, I felt like I could create again

And it’s all thanks to Waterboy

I haven’t drawn this much or with this much love in a long time. I drew every day, drawing with pleasure and joy. And I didn’t just do painting, but also sculpture, sewing, modeling, and making figurines. Simply because I love Waterboy so much, and he truly inspires me

The last couple of years of school were especially hard for me, I thought about giving it all up simply because I didn’t see the point in what I was doing, I saw how poorly I was doing, and I just hated what I was creating. But when I found my muse in him and just started creating for the sake of creating, I forgot about my fears and insecurities, because I was doing it for myself, and for him

I’ve found support from my friends and in the comments on Tumblr. The fact that people like the way I draw and create really motivates me to do even more

Yeah, I don’t know what lies ahead for me. I’m not sure if being an artist can support me financially, or if there’s any point in promoting myself in this AI slop

But even if that’s the case

I’ll just keep drawing Waterboy because it makes me happy

Actually, if it weren’t for him, I don’t know how I would have finished school. Because on those evenings after long hours of studying, when I’d sit in front of my easel or my laptop drawing yet another funny comic about him, I felt that I didn’t regret for a second my decision to become an artist

Thank you to everyone who has been with me throughout this time. I hope I’ll continue to bring you joy with my artwork!

Thank you for all your words of support and interest! I’m truly happy that I created this account, even though I was very afraid at first

Stay tuned for new comics, animations, art, figurines, and more 🧡