I know that I can be wild sometimes.

Oh, yeah, and I think it’s a little controversial for that reason, but it’s got, like, messages and stuff. About equality, and tradition, and corruption, I think. But mostly we all tend to ignore that and focus on the entertainment part - just like the wealthy people in the books. Peeta’s just a guy, though. He’s not that great. I liked Gale better; he was played by Josh Hutcherson.

Hot guys do tend to be pretty distracting, don’t they? Maybe if Hollywood cast a movie full of ugly people, we’d all get the deep messages about society and whatever else they’re trying to say. Unfortunately, my brain pretty goes blank when I see some nice abs - and from the way people act when mine are on display, I know I’m not the only one that can relate to that predicament, if you can even call it that, rather than a privilege.

I did give you the option of calling me Sir. It’s to help you remember your place, and showing proper respect never makes one sound stupid.  What is stupid though, is getting yourself punished over something so simple and easy.

That one’s even worse though. I mean, I call my Grandpa “Sir”. I associate that word with old men and you’re almost definitely my age. While I could probably kick anyone’s ass who tried to punish me, I’m not dumb enough to put myself up against the like - fifteen-some guards I’ve already seen. So, fine. Have it your way, Master.

How much do you bench, man? Damn.

Yeah, okay. 

Oh, I don’t think it makes you a disgrace or anything. They’re pretty good, but if reading’s not your thing, you could always just watch the movies. And you do seem to have the basic idea down… there are other ways to get an advantage, like hiding and setting traps, but physical strength and speed are generally the most important. That, and making the right friends…

Oh yeah? Tell that to this one cheerleader in my pre-calc class that basically hung me for overhearing her discussion about a Peeta - whatever that is -  and asking if she was talking about Mexican food. Sounds like some dark shit, though. Aren’t the novels directed at teenagers?

Let’s start as we mean to go on shall we? I’m assuming you’re in the cells which mean you will only address me as Sir, or Master; there are no other options. Lose the sarcasm too; that’ll only get you punished.

If I do all that, will you give me some food? Some real food, I mean?

Oh my god. Is it just compliments and compliments from you or is there like an off button?

There might be. You’d have to work real hard to find it, though.

This whole boredom thing is the worst and I can’t find a single person to catch my eye enough to play with that I haven’t already. I don’t even know what day it is anymore.

Don’t you people have calendars? Or phones? I’m pretty sure the date’s on the screen without even unlocking it.

Are you always charming or am I just lucky to be on the right end of it so far?

Honestly, I think there should be a new word for how charming I am, especially considering the fact that I can keep it up and get a dude blushing even while chained to a wall. But, yeah - I’d say you’re pretty damn lucky. I mean, you’re talking to me, aren’t you? You’d be even luckier if it were in person, I can tell you that much.

Does anyone else lose track of what day it is here? It’s like when you go on vacation and you lose the structure of work/school and your time off; all the days run into each other. The fact that there’s no such thing as the Monday feeling here is one of my favourite things.

Yeah, this isn’t exactly my idea of a vacation. I’m so glad you’re having a swell time, though.

Just to make you feel better, stud.

Those are some pretty words comin’ out of that equally pretty mouth, babe. It’s a shame being kidnapped and being held against my will in a fucking dungeon is such a boner-killer. In a different scenario, you’d have the chance to use that mouth in all kinds of ways to make lil’ ole me feel better.

Is that what you think I should do, prince charming? 

I think you just did, babe.