hera was happy to have jacen near, she missed him as a small child always close by. but she guessed that the next best alternative is having him as an adult, at her side. itâs exciting that he can have kanan in his life now too. she wonders what it wouldâve been like if he had still be young when this had all happened. if their life wouldâve been so different with kanan helping to raise him. she canât change things now. she can only do what seems the best for all of them, and she thinks that is to try to have them all together as often as she can. she doesnât want to mess up jacenâs life though, and if he doesnât want to be on the ghost, or to be on the base constantly she canât force him. she has to remind herself, often.Â
she watches chopper, who had been her best friend â her family â her protector as she had been for him, since she was just a young child. and knows that there is nothing surprising around how much the droid loves her son. she hears him whomp back about how he wouldnât dare. itâs a moment so normal, and yet tears burn in her eyes. she looks away from both of them quickly. willing them tears to not come out. she doesnât want jacen to have to deal with her like that. she smiles at him facing him again, and hoping he wonât see the shininess of her eyes. âyou must be my son, to lie to me that this food is good enough, simply because iâm trying. no one else in the world would voluntarily suffer through it.â
itâll never be enough for her, to see him. itâs similar to being around kanan, but still different. she could be with both of them always and never have spent enough time with them. she strokes a thumb on his cheek softly, and she worries sheâs overstepping heâs grown up â she hadnât gotten to this version of jacen in her timeline â she didnât want to embarrass him with too much affection. yet, he puts his hand over hers and she feels at peace with it. she slowly takes away her hand only to look at the food again, âitâs fine, i donât blame you for being busy. but â if you want we can redo your room, darling. itâs not a big deal â and i donât expect you to stay all the time, but if you want to change it, you can. itâs still your room.â she tells him, and not for the first time wonders if itâs her fault they donât see each other enough. she was so focused on the rebellion, it makes her wonder if sheâs following in her fathers footsteps. âi donât doubt that youâd be able to tell, but i also assume that you wouldâve let me get away with it.â she jokes, before shaking her head slightly, âi canât believe i actually tried that.â she admits but she can, she wouldâve wanted him to have the best â and she definitely wouldâve thought of it just as she had considered it now. the offer surprises her, eyes widening and the tears sheâd been trying to hide come back. she nods immediately, âyes, i would really love that. i can rope your father into it too, and maybe the rest of the family too. but we can keep it just between the two or three of us.âÂ
itâs good to have chopper tottering around, whomping and whining as he always does. something jacen takes on with all the endearment in the world, of course. chopper has always been a fixture in his life. as ridiculously protective of him as he always was of hera. wouldnât even let jacen leave without taking the droid with him, despite having no idea where jacen was going next. it was like having a really protective older sibling who was pretty low maintenance, when it came down to it. so he doesnât mind so much, having chopper here now - the droid might not remember all theyâve been through together, but he knows enough. and jacenâs grateful for it.
âyeah, well. you taught me a thing or two over the years, you know.â he says with a small laugh, patting chopper gently as the droid insists her cooking has always sucked and heâs being too nice about it. truth be told, jacen would take another less-than-average home cooked meal with his mother any day. itâs one of the things he didnât think heâd miss as much as he did, but.. oh, he did. more than he could describe now, assuming he even wanted to. which he doesnât. heâd rather just focus on the time he has with hera, on making the most of it. âitâs really not that bad, trust me. iâve eaten in some real terrible places over the years, made me crave one of your home cooked meals.â he insists, and itâs not a lie.
as heraâs hand slips from his cheek jacen finds himself wishing it hadnât. and he canât really... say so, given it would likely seem overly clingy if he did and he doesnât want to raise any red flags with hera that might make her worry, but jacenâs missed that. missed having his mother around, missed her incredibly gentle and comforting touch, the one that could always put him at ease no matter what was going on around them. itâs something he hasnât felt in so many years, something heâs done his best not to think about but couldnât help but miss. âoh - i donât know if i want to mess with.. my room.â itâs not really his room anymore, and itâs strange to say that in the first place. not only because he has no idea when this is all going to wear off and heâll have to go back home, but because heâs not sure staying on the ghost is really a good idea. âi probably wonât change too much, but.. i can probably stay over here and there.â a night or two canât hurt, so long as jacenâs careful. and he canât pretend that spending more time with his parents wouldnât be amazing, while they have the chance. he canât help but let out a soft laugh, shrugging a shoulder. âyeah, every time. i didnât want you to think i was disappointed - which i never was, for the record - so i just pretended i had no idea.â it was like a game, really. one jacen never got tired of. though.. he never got tired of much with his mother. he doesnât expect the tears though, and for a moment heâs worried heâs said something wrong - but when hera insists she loves the idea he breathes a sigh of relief, immediately pulling her in for another hug. âhonestly? iâd kinda just figured itâd be us and maybe.. dad -â still weird to say, but jacenâs getting there - â but some family dinners sound - amazing, too. iâd love that.â