TheMockingBard

The first big news of the day is that we have a new serial killer in Ptolus. And despite what my senile landlady thinks, that serial killer is not me.

You know how you can trust in my innocence? The serial killer mutilates his victims, which I think is impractical, and also adorns them with white Yeti hair, which I think is gross. I would never do either of those things; yet, I can’t complain that the White Streaker (yes, that’s what the newsprint has decided to call him) leaves behind these clues, because it will only make it easier to find him.

Oh, the second big news of the day is that the city has offered a bounty of 20,000 thrones for the capture of the White Streaker. Personally, that news is more meaningful.

I made some new friends today. There’s a performance-enhanced archer in town named Jonah who can’t stop talking about his bow strings. I met him over a few mugs of ale that we shared with a cleric named Axel Trolltank. I’m sure he’ll be useful if we ever encounter any trolls.

Then there are my new clients, a pair of merchant sisters named Isabel & Aella Drumwind. Aella is, for the moment, married to Earl Alistair Lanquist, a gentleman who apparently wants to kill them both.

I also became friends with a guy named Joseph, but that’s only because I cast the spell “Friends” on him, so I’m not sure that counts. Also I lied & told him my name was Corton. He probably hates me.

While I was busy with my White Streaker investigation, most of these new friends were trying to chase down a rogue behir. I’m not that into domesticated animals; I like snakes, but that behir has way too many legs to be a snake. 

It turns out that this behir actually belongs to Earl Lanquist, and that he has offered a large reward for returning it alive. This piqued my interest—not just because of the reward, but because why does an Earl need a behir?

They found the behir. I haven’t yet found the White Streaker. But I did find a small lock of yeti hair. So gross.

Liftoff: Elon Musk and the Desperate Early Days That Launched SpaceX by Eric BergerMy rating: 5 of 5 starsAlthough I typically choose fiction over non-fiction, just about once a year I pick up a non-fiction book that grips me all night and I can’t sleep, can’t put it down until it’s finished.My 2024 non-fiction binge-read was Liftoff.Whilst reading it, I knew that SpaceX had eventually succeeded,…

In the second book in Robert Asprin’s “Myth Adventures” series, our young hero demonstrates leadership and inspires a small motley crew to win an unwinnable war.

I have a confession: I finished this second book in the series over a week ago, but I’ve been so busy binge-reading that I’m seriously behind in posting book reviews. Sorry! I won’t waste too much time with this intro. Obviously, I’m enjoying the books enough to read without taking any breaks.  Will you enjoy this fantasy series also? Check out my review! An Entire Fantasy Series To Dig…

Reacher goes back in time to fight Nazi and Stalinist spies in modern-day rural America in this joint effort by Andrew and Lee Child. Bonus Jack Reacher Short Story at the end!

A few months ago, we reviewed Blue Moon, the last Jack Reacher book written solely by Lee Child. This was a turning point for Jack Reacher, and all of his future escapades will be written by Andrew Child. The Sentinel was written by both authors, as a transition novel. I’m one of those readers who loves a good mystery/thriller series. When I first discovered Jack Reacher (in Nothing to Lose) I…

The sequel to one of the best SPFBO books I read, Nectar For The God has transformed the protagonist from a self-deprecating, endearing rogue into a neurotic, paranoid wizard.

It’s not often that you come across a fantastic Main Character (MC) whom you immediately like. It requires a well-balanced mix of appeal and flaws, and furthermore, the story has to really embrace him/her. When I first read Patrick Samphire’s Shadow Of A Dead God during the SPFBO7 contest, I thought I had found such a character. Mennik Thorn was witty, self-deprecating, and sarcastic, but held a…

Jewels Of Smoky Quartz is another great portal fantasy entrant in the SPFBO7 contest, written by another up-and-coming Middle-Eastern author!

I’m still working my way through some of my competitors’ books from SPFBO7, the indie fantasy competition that Stranger Back Home entered in 2021. One of the authors, and a friend of an author friend, agreed to a review exchange with me—and for once, I wasn’t disappointed! Jewels Of Smoky Quartz is a portal fantasy, much like Stranger Back Home. If you are unfamiliar with this sub-genre, it…

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No matter how well-researched, unique, and intriguing your story might be, the climax must address the conflict!

Trigger Warning: This book contains present tense narration In my last indie fantasy case study, I described the importance of plot and then detailed the elements that authors use to develop the plot and move it forward. Typically, the most exciting part of the plot is called the climax. This is where the main conflict is finally resolved, usually through a fight or otherwise intense action…

What cliched phrases make you roll your eyes when you read them?

If you’re in any of the same social media book clubs that I often lurk in, then you may have seen readers posting screenshots of passages from books containing a very specific phrase: “He let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding.” Kinda silly, huh? When I read this phrase, it sounds somewhat reasonable—even though I can’t remember ever subconsciously holding my breath. But once…

A book without plot is not a story, it’s a reference book. Even fantasy books need more than random worldbuilding.

If you’ve been following our book reviews, you know that we don’t like to negatively review books. We believe that it’s much more helpful to analyze a book that we don’t like. We believe that this kind of analysis benefits authors and readers alike. So when I agreed to review The Gifts Of Faeri for Author Raina Nightingale, I endeavored to finish the book, even though I knew from the first…

I'm learning a lot about the obstacles to good Christian fiction. so I thought I'd share some of these thoughts.

If I haven’t mentioned this yet, I’m in a Discord writer’s group for Christian authors. One of these days I might see if Sparrow gets into an adventure with appropriate Christian symbology and faith-based lessons, so it doesn’t hurt to read other authors who are writing this material. But I’m learning a lot about the obstacles to good Christian fiction. To be fair, these are mostly the same…

If babysitting isn’t already a horrifying enough idea, here’s a short story about babysitting an unusually unruly child with scary secrets in the basement…

In my opinion, babysitting is one of the scariest situations one can find oneself in. In this phase of my life, I generally just try to avoid children in any circumstance.  Stay Out Of The Basement, by Samantha Esposito Reading about babysitting, on the other hand, sounded thrilling and educational—if only to learn from the fictional babysitter’s mistakes. Besides, I enjoy scary scenarios (when…

Any great story needs believable, relatable main characters. I had to DNF this book because the protagonist never actualized his grief over losing his parents

Last week I was invited into a Discord server for Christian spec-fic authors, and the first work that I read from one of those authors turned out to be pretty amazing. So of course, I dove right into the next author’s work: an espionage YA thriller titled A Tragic Introduction, by Jessica C. Joiner. Spoiler alert: I didn’t finish reading it. And that’s because I found the main character’s…

I thought it might be fun to turn this table around, and see how Stranger Things might inspire Dungeon Masters for their next campaign

Stranger Things, Netflix’s retro-nostalgic Golden Child, is perhaps the biggest pop culture phenomenon responsible for bringing Dungeons & Dragons back into the spotlight. Its combination of 80s musical hits (which we all know were the best) and 80s hairstyles (which we all know were the worst) instantly made it a streaming sensation. And since this series is inspired so heavily by the…

This short but impactful fantasy novella has all the trademark elements of a good buddy cop mystery—and the magic and mystique of a hybrid fantasy

I recently had the opportunity to beta-read for an exciting new indie author, and Shari Branning is a name that you’re gonna want to watch out for. Fate & Fang was a remarkably well-written hybrid fantasy, merging elements of crime fiction and romance into a brilliant and expansive fantasy setting. Quick Synopsis (No Spoilers) A wealthy young programmer has been doubly-cursed with physical…