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hii im the cmo partner anon!! more on the cmo squared brainrot hehe
so what if ratchet got his s/o(before dating) to teach him all the crooks and nicks of the human body and trading information and whatnot and he's like "fuck why am i falling for someone in my own field?"
and bam they kiss 8 months later
Ayyyy, welcome back anon! Nice to see ya around.
Tbf, I think Ratchet does fall for somebody who is more compassionate, calls him out for his bs, make him lighten up and being hella patient with him. Don't get me wrong, he loves it, even though he will neither admit or deny it, when somebody sasses him back.
So when the human CMO was kindly teaching him the anatomy and the biology of humans. He felt fondness developing in his spark which may have freaked him out a little. He ran tests on himself long after the CMO left to see if he was having issues, only for the tests to come back fine except the obvious of his fuel being low. Grumpy old mech was in denial when it dawned on him that he had a crush on the human CMO. The irony of him falling for somebody in the same exact position as he is.
Felt like Primus was making a big joke out of him.
There may or may not be some avoiding on his part but he's trying so hard to remain a distance between them. Due to his own prejudice, insecurities, depression, and all that jazz. It kind of damage the relationship a smidge. It will have to take some SERIOUS majors balls to corner the grump and get him to confess. That is if you're able to get ahold of him as somehow a 50 ton bot is sneaky.
If you're there, he's gone. Like he knows right when you are about to come into the room. You're definitely gon need some intervention and who else would that be in the guise of none other than Optimus Prime himself. The mech who knew Ratchet longer than the others.
Optimus is worried on the behalf of his dear old friend but to see you so upset at the idea of Ratchet being upset with you? Yeah, no, he's fixing this. His friend deserves the best and he knows you are the best for him. No worries, Optimus will be right behind you to corner the mech.
Ratchet was in his room when the Prime walks in, he turns around and locks up at the sight of you on Optimus shoulder. With an silent, angry look on your face and tears threatening to fall. Optimus deposits you onto the medic's desk before giving a quiet glance at his friend.
By Primus above, it did work. Optimus wishes you both luck then leaves....after overriding the lock to keep it shut all night. No one is entering nor leaving until the situation is blown over.
It is a LONG talk between the both of you. Maybe some crying, maybe some frustrations vented out but ey! Yall finally kissed and oh. Ohhhh, he's such a fragging moron for taking so long. He apologizes sweetspark. That mech is going to spoil the absolute hell out of you.
ratchet(preferably tfp) and a cmo partner would be the funniest thing ever imo
imagine them learning about each other's biologies and being absolutely *puzzled*
(but all that extra info does make the sex better tho....)
Two CMO's? On my base? It's more likely than you think /j
Someone who can keep up with this old mech? Finally, a worthy opponent. That CMO is either someone who has the blessing patience of a saint to handle him or is just like him in the sass department. Maybe a mix of both.
...Definitely both.
It's a very interesting time and probably a slow burn. Because this old mech is floating down the river of denial but boy howdy, does he want them real bad. On the topic of human anatomy, it does help Ratchet out immensely to know how to administrate basic first aid for the humans instead of freaking out . Like that time when Raf got hit with dark energon and nobody knew if he would pull through. Dark times that was for everybody.
Imagine his surprise that you can literally get septic shock from just a small cut.
"What the frag is wrong with you humans?"
"That...That is a very loaded question Ratch and I don't think you'll be able to handle it."
Ratchet may or may not have gotten the heebie jeebies seeing the muscles diagram. Won't lie either, that shit kinda terrifying to see in a dark science room.
Introduce him to humans medical history and he's mortified by the sheer amount of information that humans medical went through. Plus the fucked up shit that happened. He was suspecting it be tame but by Primus above, this is worse! He sees humans in a new light because of that. He won't say it outright though.
"Your skin...is an organ?"
"Yeah???? Isn't yall's metal an organ?"
"No???"
He is in awe on how some things are on par between both cybertronians and humans.
Of course, he does share his medical knowledge of cybertronians with you as best as he can deeming as he's still the CMO for the autobots. He never rests since he's forever on duty with the war. It's a form of downtime bonding to scour over texts of both anatomy's. He might feel a little prideful that you're wanting to learn about it specifically from him. Both hands on and hands off.
18+ under the cut
Minors, do not interact
If there's one thing Ratchet is very good at, he's a very adept learner with his hands. Ough, his hands, they're big and could easily crush you but they're so gentle. The cool, thick metal servos makes you shiver in delight and you often imagine them being stuffed deep in you.
For him, feeling human hands on his mesh for the first time had him moaning and engine revving a little louder. He refused to look anybody in the face the next day but the bots are not gon pick on him since who are they to judge? His shoulders are more relaxed but he's still the same ol' docbot.
Nipples are intriguing to him even after finding out they're sensitive to temperatures and touch. Does he abuse this fact? Oh definitely. He pulls on them and pinches them. You got breasts? He might motorboat them. He might cup them in his servos and play with them. He's fascinated by it especially with your ass and thighs.
So soft and pliable under his metal self.
Tell him about the G-spot or the prostate and he'll find it in a short record of time. Ratchet was a fucking fiend when he found it easily, he could not stop smiling into your skin when your back arched and mouth dropped open. Letting a loud moan out that he swallowed with his own intake.
I like the idea of cybertronians being able to "smell" when a human is horny. You were mortified by that fact in the beginning the day he admitted smelling it.
Spikes and valves were something new to you.
"You don't have both?"
"No, not really. It's very rare honestly for humans to have both but it's seen as a genetic mutation."
All in all, he is definitely that party ambulance.
random question
what is your take on what spikes or valves feel like? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Huh, this is actually an intriguing question honestly. /gen
Disclaimer! This is just my own take.
Minors, do not interact.
18+ under the cut, let's get into it.
We all know that cybertronians are made up of metals and mesh. When we think of mesh, we think of it as springy like nylon, polyester or cotton. I don't know exactly what metal mesh feels like so I can't exactly say much on the matter besides going off of the springy feeling of it. Maybe their mesh does feel like metal, maybe it feels like those stress toys or perhaps feel jelly-like. Many possibilities to go off on and think of.
Though, this is about spikes and valves. I like to think of spikes differently and not just smooth metal. While yes, humans have made metal and wooden dildos back in ye olde days. Don't ask how I know about this fact, i am not going to expand upon it. I cannot fathom the idea of having a full-on metal dick shoved into me that definitely needs a copious amount of lube to even slide in. Especially having the possibility of being cut up from the inside due to metal plating.
Plus the worry of them being cleaned. Heavy on needing a deep clean in-between them cause you never know honestly. Don't want to explain to the medics why there's issues down there even though they would not be surprised. Just exasperated and maybe alarmed depending on the severity of the situation.
How I see them is probably be the exact same way that a dildo/pocket pussy is made out of. Rubber, jelly-like or silicone.
Valves are definitely rubber. Spikes can be modified at anytime of course, some may lean more heavy towards rubber or towards the jelly aspect. Ridges or no ridges. Silicone is probably not offered up until humans came around??? free to debate that if ya want lol.
Do cybertronians spikes come out of their panels already lubricated and ready to use? Yes and no for some. Is their spunk safe to feel on skin/to consume/to leave inside? Depending on how you see it. It may just be lube to humans, it may be poisonous, it may be potent.
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I can see Rodimus and his Conjunx being pretty obsessed with each other, especially early on in the relationship. That one post where you said he'd want to see his spouse again after only a few hours just kinda reminded me of that scene with Gomez and Morticia Addams of all things
"How long has it been since we last waltzed?"
"Oh, Gomez... Hours~."
Roddy and Conjunx probably knowingly annoy the hell outta everyone with how lovey-dovey they are lol
🪙 (<- shanix for my thots)
looks around, slowly takes the shanix and hands you the goods.
They're SICKENING. So stinking cute together it gives everybody a rash on their ass. I love characters that are similar in a way like Rodimus. A sunshine to others yet a raincloud to themselves.
Imagine his surprise that he gets a bombardment of a gift from the universe in the form of a conjunx. Of course, no relationship is easy as it takes some time to truly get the hang of the other. After some hiccups here and there, he's the literal equivalent to Gomez in a way, of course, he'll never top the true king of romance but he sure does seem on par in a way.
"Oh, sorry guys, my conjunx was calling for me. I'll be back later."
He never came back later. He was happily snoozing and smooching his conjunx, thank you very much. It does irritate some people but they can't deny the fact of how happy their captain is. Just don't neglect your duties, please.
Oh? You're getting all dolled up for him? He's placing kisses against your hand, arm up to your neck before repeatedly kissing your cheek then devouring your lips. It might get a little steamy and you might've been late to your date but hey! who says you can't reschedule?
Hot take btw, he's def a smooth, sweet talker in bed. Of course, he learned how to get better at it but he's a fuckin menace of a mech when he became a pro. Had you squealing and feeling high on cloud nine.
Always wonder how the bots/cons react to their favorite humans giving them a little kiss? Hehe pun. X3
Just them with their human on their shoulder and the next thing they know… their human gives a little peck on their cheek… and them not knowing what that is or why their human did that would baffle them to no ends.
And then they read their human’s EM fields.. both flooding with love but also a bit of teasing thrown in there. As their human snuggles close.
And they would be super gushy in the inside while trying to stay professional while during their missions or meetings with other bots and such… dunno… something cute and fluff and such to think bout!
UwU
My mind has been plagued by Roddy all week so he's getting all the loving today.
It varies of course. Some will get grouchy and grumble, some will explode on the spot cause wowee that was out of nowhere! Others will be like ewwww, cooties jokingly ofc and the few is melting like goo.
With Rodimus though, I feel like it's a mixture of 'oh my primus what do i do? how do i handle this? do i try to be smooth? do i kiss them back?' and just wanting to melt into a puddle. This big flaming red hot mess of a mech has severe insecurity issues. It's no joke that he does have self-worth problems, PTSD plus depression smacked on top of that.
How does one live up to expectations when he feels like he should be punished? There's no surprise that this mech does feel deeply out of everybody around him. He cares and he loves but sometimes, when he hurts somebody/messes up/lost some of his crew. It messed with him so bad that he just shuts down and destroys stuff. In a way, he's kind of like a people pleaser sorta. He's lonely and he feels lonely. Roddy is a very complex character of course. Really didn't like how he was being used as a comedy scapegoat in LL/MTME though I digress.
Either way, he feels like he's not worthy of your love. You did have a sit down with him to remind him that love is not something you can measure nor earn. It is a birthright for all beings. That your kisses are not something you do out of pity. You do it because you love him for him. Man, this is kind of getting angsty, lemme fix that. MY B. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE.
All in all, just feeling so much love pour out of you makes him feel like he's transcending past all planes and realms. It seeps into his plating, into his mesh and wires before settling deep into him. Rodimus appreciates you all the same and even reciprocates it. You're just so darn cute and patient with him. Here! have all the kisses!
I don't know where i'm going with this. had this in my brain for a while so here you go. I thought of the idea of reader randomly being isekai'ed.
GN Reader
Purple optics stared down your form. A brow ridge rose slowly as a small hum left the being. The vibrations resonated through your body causing goosebumps to rise, the hair on your arms and the back of your neck stood up.
Wrong.
It felt all wrong.
"You're not one of mine."
"Huh?" A tiny huff left him. He points a clawed tip and pressed it lightly against your chest, shoving you gently back,
"You are not mine," the being shook his head, "you have no correlation to me nor to the humans I've created."
"Wait, you created them?" You blinked up incredulously at the tired, rusted golden being.
"Yes, they hold my blood in them yet you," he leans in closer, his face scrunched up. He rubbed the metal-like beard as his optics continued to study you, standing frozen under its heavy weight like you're one of those butterflies being pinned to be studied. Fuck, you hoped he doesn't do something like that, it was easy enough to avoid Brainstorm and Perceptor from doing multiple tests on you. Not that you have any bad blood against them, it just felt violating to be dehumanized. You can understand the curiosity but you adamantly refused to be treated like an object.
...Is this how butterflies feel?
Well, damn, now the guilt is crashing into you but one meltdown at a time.
"You are an entirely different being. What are you?"
What are you? Well, that's a loaded question you surmised.
"I...I don't know." You shrugged.
He hums, "You do know."
"No, No seriously. I-I don't know. There's so many ways to call me but I am just me. I am (name). I am human. I am the child of...well, Earth."
"But not this Earth," you shook your head at his words.
Again I have two variants, regardless of how much I love vibrant colors and high contrast with second one I messed up baaad, focal point is too big, and you can barely tell that his helmet and shoulders supposed to be blue
P. S
After a while I now think second one is not actually that bad, but I still prefer first one and yeah I hope you enjoyed my analysis
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I'm kind of like giggling at the idea of introducing your cybertronian partner to your parents. One hand, it's mix reaction depending on the type of parents they are. Other hand, some just go with the flow like eh, it is what it is as long as my kid is happy with them.
It's prolly like dinner time and you're at your parents house while your cybertronian partner unfortunately couldn't make it but you have them on face time/phone call. Just letting them get a taste of what humans do in their daily life especially with loved ones. The topic of in-laws randomly gets bought up and your parent asked the main question,
"Wait, what am I supposed to call them?"
"What do you mean? Like by their name or-"
"Nooooo, no, no, no. I mean like am I supposed to call them son-in-law, daughter-in-law? I don't know how to feel about this."
"...I'm confused? Just say in-law?"
"Well, that just makes it sound like I'm calling them my mother-in-law." An ungodly wheeze left your lips at that.
"Why are you conflicted about this?"
"Cause think about it, (name)! Isn't it weird to think about calling an being older than us my son-in-law/daughter-in-law?"
Your other parent pipes up, "isn't this the equivalent to- I don't know, dating/married to a gilf?"
"DO NOT EVEN-"
And your cybertronian partner is crying laughing or just bewildered by the conversation they're hearing over on the phone before intervening, "I mean all in all, I don't mind it but if it helps maybe mech-in-law or femme-in-law? We don't usually rely on stuff like this so I apologize if I am not much help in that realm."
I'm imagining the liaison of the Lost Light kind of stepping up to be the responsible adult when some kids and a few adults from Earth randomly ahembrainstormprollyahem appeared on the ship. Obviously, they're terrified and out of their wits cause they're suddenly transported from home to a metal ship in the middle of space. Some of them are crying, mentally shut down and the rest are in mortified awe of sorts.
The liaison steps in, knowing how frighten they are from being displaced in an unknown area, surrounded by these metal giants. Primus help them if they piss the liaison off by trying to scare the kids for shits and giggles. Some of them fail to realize adult humans are seriously protective of their young.
"If you do that one. more. time. I will personally SEE that Ultra Magnus toss your ass in the brig and make him recite the ENTIRE laws to you. DON'T MAKE ME GET HIM." Yeah, no one wants to upset the liaison after that. They like you being chill.
Humans getting sick… few ideas with this is that cybertronians will worry more cause they either never get sick or they either never had to face an illness before.
Other ideas… is that cybertronians that do have illnesses often die the quickest cause… they are ALWAYS at war with each other or by some other alien forces… or they never dealt with such sicknesses… dunno just hmmm🤔🤔🤔🤔
Anyways!.. umm? What is your take on a writing prompt about the bots/cons seeing their favorite human badly sick with a cold or fever?
Would they panic or what? And what happens if they take their human to their medics and with them still having no clue on how to help you?
Hope this ask isn’t TOO long. 😅😅
Naahhh, you're all good dw!
To be fair honestly. If a cybertronian never been exposed to humans or human knowledge then yes, they can and will freak out cause why aren't you up and about? Why do you sound like a frog croaking and dear PRIMUS ABOVE, YOUR TEMPERATURE-
The ones that do know more about humans is from being around them and their knowledge long enough, they are moreso at ease as LONG as the symptoms do not decline. They will not deny the fact of how easy it seems for humans to fight sickness yet still succumb to it if not taken care of or dealt with swiftly. There might be some smidge of jealously there from them.
Though, of course, not everybody will have access to that veteran medic.
With cybertronians, they have to be swift with diseases cause it's like a ticking pipebomb for them. Any moment too long and that cybertronian is gone. Humans? We flush that shit out thanks to having an immune and nervous system. They don't have an immune system but they do have some sort of nervous system. Though, they can turn that off while dealing with injuries.
Lucky.
Imagine being a cybertronian though and you're friends with a human. You think everything is gonna be a good day only to see how groggy and sluggish they are, their temperature is warmer than normal, looking a bit more pale than usual. Coughing, wheezing, sneezing and maybe throwing up. Obviously, losing your shit is gonna happen cause you don't know what's wrong with them.
Taking them to a cybertronian medic who has not been around humans long enough is obviously not a smart choice but they're the only one you know. There's worry and panic, they're applying their medical knowledge on them when they're not even a giant metal being. Can't use welders, can't use energon, can't use cybertronian synthetics cause you don't know how the organic flesh and systems will react from it.
It will have to involve another human stepping in and hopefully, they are a nurse or doctor of sorts.
If the cybertronian is by themselves or do not have a medic or human around. The sheer panic has definitely doubled in size. They legit think you are dying when you're just sick and need medicine or water to flush it out.
Do not even tell them that there are other diseases that are more severe than a common cold or a stomach bug. That back then medicine was not advanced as it is today. Even telling them that your own body can turn against you is frightening enough.
Funny idea!! Humans are gremlins if left alone and unsupervised… and horribly bored!! they get into mischief like if you have toddlers(or pets) alone they will become creative… so they get air jailed by their favorite bot/con
Some humans loved it so much that they purposefully misbehave or cause trouble just to be carried.
And some humans do this whenever they see that their favorite bot/con is over-worked or overwhelmed…. I can also see that humans being empaths and having the keen ability to read body languages or ques.. since they do not have an em scans thing and such.
Hope you like this idea!! :3
I mean- we are gremlins, wdymmm /silly /lh
I love the fact on Earth, us humans are so fuckin funny ironically and unironically. Cybertronians will never deny the fact that humans are good with their sense of humor (even if it's a little concerning when we crack jokes about something traumatic that happened to us but ey, gotta laugh a little bit at something lest we become too miserable for the rest of our life.) So when we get up to mischief, it's either gon be fun or a bit irritating.
like oouuu what that shiny button do? DO NOT-
We're curious as shit wanting to know as much as we can but sometimes, we can be a littleeee too curious.
On the empathetic part though, cybertronians know humans are very sociable beings and love creating communities with people to aide one another. Something they definitely need to learn too while yeah, humans are far from being perfect and they don't hold themselves to a higher standards. Something about being cared for, loved on and worried over warms their spark.
How can a little being carry this much love in them? It's almost like they know or yearn for love themselves.
I feel like it's not really talked enough about how humans tend to be viewed by cybertronians as terrifying. Don't get them started on the fact that humans are literally speed running life with a figurative bomb strapped to their chest cause death is around the corner everyday at any moment for them.
Though, I do love this idea of cybertronians thinking that humans are actual cryptids or eldritch like. Like human eyes already nerve the shit out of them cause if you just stare long at them with a dead, wide look and they're just itching to get away from you. Just stare at them long and it feels like something...that is somehow something feels far older? than them is staring right back at them. They can't explain it but it somehow feels like it peers right into their spark.
Humans high pitched screams make their plating crawl, they know it's a tactic of sorts and that each scream can vary form 30 to 150 Hz. The first time they heard a human scream that loud and high, they legit thought for a split second they were going to be attacked or that it was a signal of death descending onto them. Only to find out that noise came from YOU??? Yeah, no, what the slag, human?
They didn't know about the fact that humans do the exact same thing that animals do when alerting others. Though, humans have more of a rasp to their vocals and their warnings are way too hard to ignore. Mimicking voices is another one that makes them legit think you are an eldritch or a cryptid.
Don't let them read anymore of our mythology cause after that they will probably take that shit seriously. Hearing about banshees or mimics make them suddenly think every human is one.
Humans being hunters were a wild card to them to be fair. The reason for that is because, well, they all just go about life going to jobs, gardening and all that. So, when they found out that humanity had another sense but it went away due to evolution. To find out that humans could travel long-distances and had strong endurance made them question on why they gave it up. Though, finding out humans still have that thrill for a hunt makes them extra anxious. Humans are better at tracking people down than they are.
I can go on and on about how terrifying humans can be but I'll stop there for the day.
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