27

do the dishes

make your bed

read a book in silence

get the groceries for one or two meals

have a beer

go for a walk

(get a phone call from nobody)

follow a cat through the neighborhood

do the laundry

change your sheets

sit on your couch and listen to a full album

take a shower

sit on your balcony at night

go to a diner alone and have a bite to eat

watch people from afar

take a train to the next town

call an old friend

clean your room or house

take a nap

have a cup of tea

paint or draw

air out the room

stretch or do yoga

These lines (first from the films, thereafter from the books) taught me something profoundly essential about how to be there for a friend, a lover, or a loved one when they are consumed by despair, weighed down by grief, or overwhelmed by the weight of mental torment. It taught me that some burdens are sacredly personal; untransferable tasks that each of us must face in our own time and way.

Yet, while we cannot take their pain or carry their burden for them (no matter how much we wish we could), there is something else we can do. While we cannot lift their burden, we can lift them. We can carry their weary body, their weary heart, as they bear the weight of their pain. In doing so, we offer them a sanctuary — a place of care and safety, where they can begin to confront their hurt without the fear of being alone in its gaze.

While the pain may be theirs to bear, the journey through it need not be traveled in solitude.

– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"