Spare Cake

The idea of two people having sex and it creating another, smaller person who has a combination of their traits sounds like it was made up for fan fiction but alas I've heard tale that it's really happened

you can be both employed & way too online. it’s called “posting on the clock,” and actually, it’s praxis.

as part of their ongoing boycott, Canada will no longer provide the US with totally real long-distance girlfriends who definitely exist

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

It’s a shame that walkable cities will require tracking cars that enter city limits and exploding them with a bazooka but policy requires trade-offs

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

As an adult I think me and all my friends should all have matching schedules and work like 20 hours a week and also everyone lives within 15 minutes of each other why is that so much to ask

imagine someone thinking of you and buying you flowers

ok now imagine a horse as a skeleton with a blue fire mane

imagine someone thinking of you and buying you flowers

ok now imagine a horse as a skeleton with a blue fire mane