Spaceman_Sam

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

Mentors in Deltarune are either a dead old man or an anime twink trying to fuck your dad

Alternatively:

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase. 

The story is told primarily through the liner notes that come with the CDs of each act, and we’ve been waiting for Act III for literally over sixteen years, since 2009. They released each song digitally on Bandcamp every week for a few months during the last quarter of 2025, and we hadn’t gotten any of the liner notes until MAGfest, where they were selling the CD physically with the libretto.

I won’t get into the actual ending details because there’s still a bit of an embargo, but some people thought it was really abrupt and sudden. It was abrupt. It was fucking scary! You should listen to the whole album on Bandcamp! I kind of loved it, but there were some plot threads that went unresolved. On top of that, years ago, there was a song called The Fight (which is a much more uplifting song than the ending we got) that they outright said was part of Act III— but it never showed up on the album. They said during a Twitch stream a few weeks ago that there was almost nothing left on the cutting room floor, so why was The Fight excluded?

So people started to do the classic thing that usually never ever works— theorize that there was another secret part they weren’t showing us.

Then, MAGfest people were buying the MAGfest Power magazine (which is a really cool magazine about all the stuff to see at the con) and noticed in an interview with Panther and Commander that they were dropping literal actual ARG hints. Along with that, they were selling bracelets with a cipher on them. Most of being in the Protomen Discord during MAGfest was watching people run around the Gaylord hotel trying to figure out what the fuck was going on before the Act III performance— there was a scavenger hunt that ended with one guy finding a jar of Ovaltine?— and you can read the whole thing about the ARG here. Spoilers for the libretto part of the ARG. It’s so fucked up.

I literally met the band at the meet & greet with my friend Veg, we asked Reanimator, “hey, what’s going on with Act III? Is that it?”

He tells us to “look at the disc”. Veg pulls it out, looks at the back without the design. Reanimator goes “no, no, the other side”.

Yeah alright man. Just cut off half of your logo like it’s only part one of two. Just cut your logo in half for your “final” album. Sure

Just resting now from the Act III performance in Nashville, just got out of the concert like an hour and a half ago. Basically, before the Protomen came on stage, they played a set of numbers that line up to a cipher, and it translated to this:

WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT WE ARE NOT READY TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF ACT 3 PART 2…

[Dramatic Pause / Sign-Off Jingle]

…YET