i have erectile dysfunction.

i’m serious ladies, like, at this point, any time you start to write or say “i’m so stupid and useless because i’m clueless when women are flirting with me/don’t know how to flirt with women” you should be taking those words out of your mouth and replacing them with “i live in a society that is actively hostile to women loving women, which has offered me no models for how to pursue these relationships and taught me that my feelings for women are predatory and disgusting” 

i’m tired of lesbian self-hate being treated as a Funney Meme 

caught the tail end of a radio commercial for a regional aquarium and it said “do it for the gelatinous zooplankton” and that’s who we’re living for today friends

im bout to go check my account balance please keep me in your prayers

January is the free trial month for 2019 so anything messy that happens during this month dont count

A Christmas Carol but instead of 3 ghosts Scrooge gets the Fab 5

You don’t want to be rich. You want to live freely.

That’s it

that’s it, man.

so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait… and she was like you’ll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we’re holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom.

Women should be able to go their entire lives without wearing makeup or heels if they don’t want to, without getting called slobby, or unprofessional, or “doesn’t care about her image”, or being fucking denied jobs for not wanting to wear heels or makeup at work every day. If men aren’t expected to cover their faces with makeup or wear incredibly uncomfortable shoes every day of their lives neither should I.

10% Luck; 20% Skill; 15% concentrated doctor of phil