Command & Conquer

Why does he have peanuts in his pants?!

"Pollywogs are young Atropians! Much like the 'babies' that humans produce! Though 'babies' and pollywogs do not look similar in the slightest until they reach maturity! I have done research on this, since Earthen frogs do have similar qualities of Atropians, and Atropian pollywogs do strongly resemble frog pollywogs! However, instead of growing into a frog, they develop into Atropians, which I suppose humans would refer to as 'humanoid' as they vaguely resemble the basic human shape! When in fact, it is probably the reverse; your species is the one that resembles mine."

"So, if there isn’t much light on your planet… Is that why you wear those sunglasses? Are your eyes sensitive? It would make sense, I suppose," she pursed her lips as she pondered the idea. Wait, why was she not writing these things down?! Without another word, she hurried over to her desk where she kept one of her many computers and switched it on. "Over here, Commander. I’ll show you what the internet is."

He tilted his head slightly. "Is there an earth creature that resembles it more?" That sounded.. well, delicious actually. He hasn't had any areniophises since he was last on Solonacea. Which.. was a long time ago. His ears perked up as she went over to the computer. He got off the table and followed her.

He observed as he listened, watching her use this strange human device. It was strange; it resembled slightly the monitors used in his father's ship, but they were much less.. well.. alive. How did humans manage to work these things? "What is the point of having a database if some of the information is false? That seems rather redundant!" He nods again. "That's like Atropians' communication in a way! While at short ranges, we can communicate with our antennae! But at longer ranges, we use little devices like this!" he said, taking out a small pen-like device. It was thicker than a pen, and had a couple buttons on it. "I haven't been able to get it to work though.. Father never answers my calls, no matter how urgent they are!" He presses the buttons on it, his antennae flashing in a certain pattern with it. However, he just grew frustrated with it and shoved it back into his pocket.

Did he just… swallow the tomato whole? A human covered in blue paint could hardly accomplish such a feat. And… two tongues? Before she witnessed him swallowing the tomato whole, she could have assumed he was just someone rather committed to their alien costume and decided to have their tongue surgically altered, but… could he truly be some otherworldly creature?

"Areniophis…? Springs on Volcan…Volcn-Trinaperi? You wouldn’t happen to have some sort of photographing device or artwork of places on your world, do you? I’m struggling to imagine what these places would look like." she said, her normally monotonous and apathetic voice taking on a tone of wonderment and curiosity. She had noticed far too late at how tense the Commander appeared before she had touched his antennae, lacking the time it took to change her course of action before being shoved away while the other being screeched painfully. The shove and being startled by the sudden scream sent her tumbling backwards, landing on her backside.

"Ugh," she winced, the fall - or more accurately, the landing - sent a sharp pain shooting up her tailbone. With a deep breath, she slowly got to her feet, occasionally hissing and cringing when the movement only exacerbated the pain. "All right, all right, I get the idea. No touching the antennae, sorry. If it makes any difference, I believe you. About being an alien, I mean."

"Well of course! Just not on me. Father has them on the ship but I don't know where Father has the ship at the moment." He taps his chin. "Areniophis sort of resemble.. earthen eels. Except they look different I guess- They have little legs, but they swim similarly to earthen eels! And Volcn-Trinaperi is a volcanic area farther from our home. There's hot springs near there that are simply the best! A lot of Atropians like to go there to watch the light show when it erupts because there isn't a lot of light on our planet, and it's fascinating!"

Trent then removed her gloves and took another tomato for herself, biting into it hungrily as she observed the commander.

"You’re lucky you don’t look like earth frogs, too,” she chuckled, looking him up and down. “Frog legs are considered a delicacy in a few countries. I hear they taste quite good.”

"And instead of saying earthen-type flora, you can just say ‘plant’. They’re plants. Tomatoes are fruits, to be more specific. Though from a culinary standpoint they’re used as vegetables due to their slightly bitter flavor, whereas other fruit are commonly more sweet. Cucumbers are another such example," she explained in her typical monotonous voice, looking bored as she continued eating her tomato. Once it was finished, she quietly sucked the excess juice off her fingers before rinsing her hands in a nearby sink. After drying them, she replaced her gloves and approached the alien again. "So, what do your antennae do? Besides flash like a strobe light when you’re startled, that is. Are they sensitive? I’d like to feel them to get an idea as to what their texture is like."

Well. It was obvious he was not going to cooperate at this point. Perhaps some form of bribery would work…? Maybe if she tried striking a deal with the weird creature.

"What if I want to learn more about my ‘future ruler’, Commander Ribbit? I’m not one to blindly put my faith in anyone who runs around screaming about taking over the world," she leaned back, resting a hand on her hip as she watched the ‘commander’ cross his arms. "If you cooperate, perhaps you can earn my support. And in return, perhaps I can teach you more about humans as well. If you plan on ruling over them, it would help to know about how they work, right?"

"Humans tend to find larger breasts attractive. I don’t know why, since I find them to be rather inconvenient at best," she sighed. "And I’m not going to dissect you! At least not yet. I don’t know how your kind would react to anesthesia, and I’d rather not kill anything."

When he began to struggle against her efforts to lead him to her lab, she tried heaving him over her shoulder to carry him the rest of the way, intending on sitting him down on a rather uncomfortably cold metal table. Once she was certain he would not be rushing off any time soon, she bombarded him with questions.

Though as he struggled, she suddenly hoisted him over her shoulder. "UNHAND ME HUMAN-!! THIS IS ATROCIOUS BEHAVIOR!!" He started flashing his antennae. "FATHER FATHER, EMERGENCY I'M BEING KIDNAPPED-!!" Of course, his father was out of range but for some reason he thought it would help to try. He was in a bit of a panic mode after all.

Trent was about to leave to head back to her laboratory when the ‘alien’ began shouting again. She held the heavy bag of beans over her head as if ready to throw it, startled by the sudden burst in volume. Taking a step back, she watched as the being removed his shirt to show off his… four nipples? Those could easily be fake. But to be sure, she set the bag of beans down and pulled a pair of gloves from her pockets, slipping them on before fetching a pair of tweezers as well. Nothing about this idea could go wrong.

"Is your ‘species’ mammalian? What use would aliens have with nipples?" She stepped over and leaned closer, prodding one with her tweezers to be certain it was not some sort of rubbery material glued to his chest. It… did not look particularly rubbery. There was only one way to be certain. Putting the tweezers back in her pocket and retrieving her coffee beans, she grabbed the Commander by the wrist and tried dragging him back to the lab.

He leaned down to look as she revealed her artificial leg. "Fascinating! I've never seen anything like that on a human before. Clearly you are far more advanced than other humans! Will you consider joining my forces? It'll make things easier when I eventually rule the planet!"

"I learned Earth’s language by studying it of course! And I did extensive research on Earthen flora and haven’t heard of this ‘coffee’!" He tilted his head a bit. “It is vital then to Earth’s survival?" His ears perked forward when she proceeded to explain it. “Ah yes! I have learned that humans who do not function properly take external substances to make themselves function properly! Another extent of why humans are strange creatures and should not be in control of the planet!"