Inner beauty, too, needs occasionally to be told it is beautiful.
Robert Brault (via quotemadness)
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sheepfilms

Origami Around
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izzy's playlists!
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JBB: An Artblog!

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@sovereignviolette
Inner beauty, too, needs occasionally to be told it is beautiful.
Robert Brault (via quotemadness)

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surprise! im back with more marichatĀ
close up:Ā
Recommendations!!
Let me tell you something, i never keep track of fics i like and i am not having fun making this list because this is very time consuming but ima gonna do it anyways to help all the poor fangirls and fanboys in need of someĀ āliteratureā
Meant To Be by DarkReyyna16
To miss a man she had never even met before was lunacy.
And yet, something about the blonde man with the sun in his smile drew Marinette to him irresistibly, no matter how hard she tried to fight it.
Marinette was never one to believe in Fate. But rational thought is rarely a factor in matters of the heartā¦or of the soul.
This is just so cute but itās not finished yet.
The Cat Goesā¦Meow? By inuchimera7410
He shakily looked down in growing horror expecting to see gloved hands only to find adorable cat paws?!
ā-
(aka Chat accidentally gets turned into a real cat!)
I really like these āchat turns into a catā fics but I can never find any and this one is purrty cute!Ā
A Rational Fear of Dragons by ProbablyVoldemort
When Kim gets paired with Marinette for a history project, he learns a lot, though most of it has nothing to do with their project.
I love this one and I donāt know why I havenāt read the rest of the writerās āKim Knows Thingsā series but I will be getting to it. Itās a one shot with the perspective of Kim as Marinette drags him along during an akuma attack. He pretty much watches Chat and Marinette interact and itās cute. I usually do not read things like this but, I probably should. I think writing from outside perspectives is really hard. Also the interaction with Kim and Marinette is fucking hilarious.
Supercut by LNC
Marinette loves her friends and Adrien canāt deal.
This is just so precious. I donāt wanna spoil it but if you love fluff and supportive marinette then youāll love this. Itās also a one shot btw. I really like this fic and Iāve read it a few times butā¦I still donāt know why itās call supercut. Itās not a barber auā¦
Donāt apologize (because I feel the same)Ā byĀ runastorm
Marinette cultivates the habit of writing love confessions through text messages, and although she never sends any of them to Adrien, she keeps on reading every single one, from start to finish, every night.
So perhaps it shouldnāt come as a surprise when Marinette actually sends them by accident.
Technical difficulties by therentyoupay
This summary is really long so Iām just gonna say itās about Ladybug getting trapped with Nino in a elevator and her luck is running out.
I really like the concept of this fic but it hasnāt been updated in a while. If the author doesnāt continue to write it then uhā¦sorry.
Look At Me by raeryn
Ā āWhat do you do if youāve discovered your best friendās biggest secret but kept the fact that you knew from them?ā
Ā He keeps giving her this look, one that told Marinette that he knew something, that she was out of the loop on something. One that she could never decipher, no matter how hard she tried.
Seeing Me by raeryn
Ā Adrienās POV of Look at Me
Itās not easy, not when youāre in love with your best friend, not when your best friend is a superhero. But whatās even harder than is trying to tell your best friend you knew she was a superhero, especially when she didnāt want you to know.
Thatās a weird way to say I love you by Lairep
She wasnāt sure what sheād end up doing. Possibly punch him. Or kiss him. Or both, somehow. She could punch him with her mouth, maybe. That was a thing, right?
Honestly any of this writerās fics are good so justā¦read all of them? Actually you should do that for any author you like. If you like one of there stories youāll probably like more of them so just go on a reading spree.
(It Wasnāt) Meant to BeĀ byĀ geek-fashionista
AU where Adrien/Chat Noir works with Hawk Moth but is still a cinnamon roll at heart and loves his nemesis Ladybug.
Poster Boy by Amateum
ladybug let out a relieved sigh and slumped against the wall surrounding the bed they had landed on. āThat was close.ā She looked over to where Chat was sat on the other side of the bed.
He glanced around the darkened room, taking in the details. He loved having night vision. āHow did you know where the key to the house was?ā He asked, turning back to Ladybug.
āBecauseā¦ā An uncomfortable look crossed her face, followed by resignation. āBecause this is my room, Chat.ā
āReally?!ā He immediately perked up and peered over the edge of the bed to get a better look around. Unfortunately, her lack of night vision doesnāt stop Ladybug from finding his ear-the human one- and using it to yank him back to the top of the bed. āChaton!ā
āRight. Secret identity. Sorry,ā he said sheepishly. After a beat he said, āHey, why do you have a collage of Adrien Agreste pictures?ā
Oh my gosh this is so cute and adrien is a little piece of shit but i think itās really funny.
And Then I Was Emma Dupain-Agreste by Riceball02
Yes Iām recommending my own fic shut up Iām actually proud of this oneā¦donāt read my other ones.
This is a coming of age story. About a girl struggling through her life with the absences of a true family. She goes through the turmoil that eventually brings her out as a mature young adult. This book focuses on the individual and mental issues that she goes through from being lonely and unsure of who she wants to become.
Dear Past Emma Dupain-Agreste,
Heās not as bad as you think and he doesnāt hate you.
In fact, heās all you have right now.
Have more fun. Youāre young and free so, make friends and paint pictures. If you want to be a detective then go outside and find some adventure. Youāll be fine.
Pinky promise~
Be There In Five by demistories
Hereās the thing: Marinette had her perfect date with Adrien.
The problem is the second date.
Marinette has plans. She has so many plans. Lists and lists of dates she wants to go on with Adrien. Some she planned by herself, some she picked up from others, some Alya texted her at one in the morning because thatās when Alya works best. Marinette has plans and she intends to follow through with the them.
Hawk Moth has his own plans. And those plans involve making Marinetteās life as difficult as humanly possible.
{ Adrien and Marinette are dating. But a certain supervillain keeps making them late. }
This fic is utter chaos. I donāt even know man.
Hate that you know me (so well) by LNC
Adrien and Marinette discuss Chat Noir.
Tonightās Dinner by Ā ghostgirl19posts
oneshot featuring Adrienette and a Snapchat gone wrong
This oneās quite funny
Ashtheshortstack wrote short but sweet fics for miraculous fluff month and I think you should read them
Seven Minutes by BullySquadess
Post-Reveal, Adrien and Marinette continue to play chicken with their feeling. Alya, however, has other games in mindā¦
I love this k bye
Post-it Notes by Humanagain
Marinette is still freaking out.
She sits on a bench in the locker room, staring at the crumpled post-it in her hand. The small, neat cursive has become slightly smudged, but she can clearly still make out the words youāre beautiful.
She jerks to attention at a tap on her shoulder, and she looks up to meet brilliant green eyes. āWhat do you have there, Marinette?ā Adrien asks, a hint of a blush creeping up his face.
Marinette giggles uncomfortably and balls the post-it up in her hand.
āOh, nothing.ā
This one isnāt finished but has 13 chapters
Iāll continue to update this so keep and eye on this post if anything new pops up!
Also this is v time consuming and I have a headache now.Ā
you better be grateful for this post T_T
30 MOST UNEXPECTED YET SUPER SIMPLE CRAFTS YOU'VE EVER SEEN
Marichat Fic Recs: Angst
As requested by Anon, hereās a rec list of some angsty Marichat fics! Honestly there are probably so many that I have missed, so feel free to suggest your own and Iāll add to this. Of course, I will update this as I find more. Enjoy!
Disclaimers: Due to the nature of the lovesquare, some of these fics are not solelyĀ āMarichatā; varying levels of angst
* = unfinished
+ = mature/explicit rating
|| italicsĀ = my notes
MultichapterĀ (word count next to completed fics)
ObsessionĀ byĀ KryallaOrchidĀ Ā (36,232)
Trouble in WhiteĀ byĀ imthepunchlordĀ (45,261)
*Ā Broken Hearts ClubĀ byĀ frostedpuffsĀ
*Ā Have Your Cake (And Eat It Too)Ā byĀ LooseScrewsLefty,Ā takethembystorm
SelflessĀ byĀ ghostgirl19Ā Ā (48,597)Ā || villain Chat
Ne Me Quitte PasĀ byĀ imatrisarahtopsĀ Ā (43,357)
Murphyās LawĀ byĀ izadreamerĀ Ā (40,230)
*Ā soul to keepĀ byĀ boreumdal
+Ā Sweet Dreams, Mon ChatonĀ byĀ ThiccBoiĀ Ā Ā (39,213)
Sunlight, Firelight, StarlightĀ byĀ adjitĀ Ā (7,508)
*Ā Before and AfterĀ byĀ GalahadWilderĀ Ā Ā
All Of HerĀ byĀ kaicicleĀ Ā (8,666)
+Ā Passion At Center StageĀ byĀ PicturedArtistĀ Ā Ā (37,774)Ā ||Ā no miraculous au
*+Ā Dirty Little SecretĀ byĀ kaleidoscopespectrum
+Ā Both of YouĀ byĀ MaerynnĀ Ā (125,895)
Your Hand, in the DarknessĀ byĀ TookbagginsĀ Ā Ā (30,528)
*+Ā Maybe Iām a Chat Person After AllĀ byĀ juggiejunkieĀ Ā ||Ā Adrien had black cat miraculous in childhood
*+Ā No Feelings AllowedĀ byĀ mahalicious
*Ā To KnowĀ byĀ mildswearingat4am
Oneshots
In This MomentĀ byĀ JazzGirl123Ā Ā (1,639)
Like Ships in the NightĀ byĀ CreativityFlowĀ Ā Ā (1,304)
Enough For NowĀ byĀ sarahcadaĀ Ā Ā (1,198)
Sheāll never love meĀ byĀ BaneismydragonĀ Ā (1,295)

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If you want to know whether a diamond is real, breathe on it. Diamonds are very efficient heat conductors, so the fog from your breath will disappear almost immediately if it is real. If the fog sticks around a few seconds before clearing up, the rock is probably a fake. Source Source 2 Source 3
Badly injured stray poodle bites Hope For Paws rescuer and sends her to ...
Editing/Writing Commissions
Hello, writer friends,Ā
So some things have come up in our (my fiancee, Brianna, and my) lives (mental health stuff mostly) and we need to somehow come up with $200 MINIMUM to get our bills paid and get food for our cats, Lily and Zeus.Ā
But, weāre opening up Writing and Editing Commissions, so here are the details.
Ā Editing:Ā
$5 USD per 1,000 words.
Weāll edit pretty much anything you want.Ā
Weāll edit for grammar, punctuation and give suggestions/feedback.
Writing:Ā
$10 USD per 1,000 words.Ā
Weāll write fic, a short story, fill a prompt or if you have something particular that you want, we can discuss that as well.Ā
For fanfic, weāll do any fandom, but the ones weāre most familiar with are (B represents Brianna and A represents Amanda, if thereās no letter, weāre both into it): Harry Potter, Supernatural, Doctor Who (new series), Miraculous Ladybug (A), Greyās Anatomy/Private Practice (B), Shameless, Merlin (A), Game of Thrones (A), Welcome to Nightvale, Alice Isnāt Dead (B), Star Trek (A), BBC Sherlock (B), Greek Mythology, All Rick Riordan Books (A), The Red Queen (A), John Green books (B), Buffy the Vampire Slayer /Angel (B), True Blood (B).
As you can see, Brianna watches a lot of TVĀ :D But seriously, weāre pretty good with writing anything and Bri is always looking for a new show anyways.Ā
Payment will be done through PayPal, which weāll give when we discuss a commission
If you donāt want or need any editing or writing done, hereās a link to my ko-fiĀ and patreon if you still want to help.
Message monpetitchatonnoir or butterflybriannaĀ if you would like to commission either of us.Ā
Anything is appreciated and will help a BUNCH.
Thanks,Ā
Amanda and Bri
NaNo Character Week: Emotion and Body Language Resources
Welcome to day eleven of WCās NaNoPlanMo! Today, weāre focusing on emotions and body language!
Demonstrating Character Emotions
Character Emotions: Helps for Writing via @thewritershandbook
Using Layers to Show Intense Emotions
Character Reaction Chart via @everything4writers
Writing with the 9 Senses
Make Sure Your Readers Care About Your Characters
Interruptions in Dialogue from @charactercomma
Emotion Words/Phrases
Feeling Words from @writersrandomramblings
The Wheel of Emotions from @thewritershandbook
Another Emotion Wheel via @promptsforthesoul
Ultimate Index of Emotions from @kassidy-writes
Emotion by Intensity from @writerscorner-blog
Basic Emotions and Needs via @thewritershandbook
Shades of Emotion Chart
Writing Body Language
Mixing Dialogue with ActionĀ from @tlbodine
9 Simple and Powerful Ways to Boost Your Dialogue with Body Language
Body Language: An Artistic Writing Tool
How Not to Write Body Language
Body Language Lists
Masterlist of Gestures and Body Language
Body Language Cheat Sheets
List of Body Language Phrases
Other Ways to Demonstrate Character Reactions
K.M. Weiland: Visceral Reactions: Emotional Pay Dirt or Melodrama?
Lock in the Emotional Set
Alternative Ways to Describe Character Reactions Ā

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Bucky Barnes
This is one of the most adorable comics Iāve ever read
Iāve been waiting for this to pop back up on my dashboard.. we are way too hard on ourselves.
awā¦
@fmgufa77
srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesnāt necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesnāt want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other pplĀ or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
itās a f***ing trap
F***ing hate dudes forreal.
too many f***ing times ugh
Story time. One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didnāt look at anyone, I didnāt speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasnāt going to be late to my meeting. Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldnāt like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, āHe doesnāt need to know.ā At this point Iām scared out of my mind. Thereās this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasnāt going to leave without getting something out of me. I deny him a second time, saying, āI donāt even know youāre name. Weāre strangers, I donāt know you.ā He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I donāt give my number out to people Iāve just met and he says, āFine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.ā So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as weāre pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, āOh, Iāll wait with you. I donāt have any plans, so Iām in no rush.ā Itās important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasnāt gotten what he wanted from me; a yes. I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, āDo I at least get a hug before you go?ā I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him. People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ānoā. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. Itās important for guys to learn that they canāt get what they want just by asking over and over again. I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.
SECOND STORY TIME
So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I donāt really respond, I donāt even look at him, just give half-hearted āmhmās and āohās, as I donāt want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.
Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didnāt know how to answer. So I just didnāt. He didnāt let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a āno thanksā and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, āWell, can I at least have a hug before you go if you wonāt go on a date with me?āĀ
This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off⦠So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I donāt stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.Ā
AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, āDid you request the stop?ā I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, āDo you want to get off?ā I give a quiet āmhmā and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-
āIf some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?ā And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.
So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.
Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.
I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.
Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, āNo, because youāre creepy/creeping me outā and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say āI do not want to be touchedā and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.
It: 1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help. 2. Contains words so that if youāre in a public place but people arenāt necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some peopleās attention. 3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.
Hopes this also helps, guys, and Iām so sad that this has to even be a post we need.
Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) donāt be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem
Fucking Signal boost this shit
So Iām at the laundromat that I never go to because itās always crazy busy and crowded, and I hate manuvering around people. But I have so much laundry to do, and they have jumbo sized washing machines, so I suck it up for the day and go.
The second I walk in, I notice one of the other customers staring at me. He looks like heās slightly older than me, but heās taller than me by a lot. And I donāt like the way he looks at me. So I start washing my clothes far away from where heās washing his clothes. But it soon becomes appearant that I am only minutes behind where he is in the washing process.
He keeps staring but doesnāt try to talk to me, so I ignore him and keep doing my thing. But I keep an eye on him. Where he is, what heās doing. Just because Iām getting a weird vibe.
I get my clothes in the dryers first, so of course he comes up and uses the dryer right next to me. Whatever. Itās a crowded space.
Itās not until Iām taking my clothes out of the dryer when I realize that Iāve lost track of him. I finish unloading the dryer and pick up my laundry basket, step back, and knock right into him. Heās holding his cell phone out like he had just taken a picture of me, and was standing less than a foot behind me.
Heās apologizing for bumping into me, and I turn and hurry out of there as quick as I can. I call my boyfriend and tell him what just happened, and he tells me to just go home and not go back there.
To recap. A man Iāve never met before sees me and likes what Iāve got going on. So he decides to take pictures of me behind my back at a public laundromat.
Flashforward two years. Two fucking years.
Iām early meeting a friend for lunch at a deli Iāve never been to. Iām sitting in my car listening to music, and who should walk by with a group of friends?
My friend from the laundromat! And he stops, recognizes me, smiles and waves at me. And I just stare at him. And then he laughs with his friends, and walks away.
Holy shitā¦
Be aware, ladies and gents. This issue is not necessarily gender specific. If ANYONE makes you uncomfortable, fuck propriety and make a scene.
What gay men give to the world.Ā A-yup.
On the second one.
Thereās this one gay club I go to that actually has a problem of straight guys going there to dance with girls.Ā I guess these guys donāt understand that girls can also be gay, because they assume that any girls at the club are there with their gay guy friends.
So one night I was out on the dance floor, and I see this guy.Ā Heās like over six-foot, at least, all beefed-up, muscle shirt, looks kindof like a douchebag.Ā And heās just circling the dance floor, in one continuous loop, looking at the crowd like a predator, and itās creeping me the fuck out.
Itās creeping me out enough that I donāt immediately realize whatās going on nearby.Ā Some girl has attracted one of the Assholes, who has proceeded to begin grinding on her.Ā Sheās pushing him away, telling him to get lost.Ā Heās pulling that whole, ācome on, donāt be a bitchā spiel, and generally just not getting the message.
BAM.Ā Suddenly, the prowling guy swoops in, like some sort of Gay Avenger.Ā He shoves himself between the girl and the Asshole, grabs the Asshole by the hips, and starts dirty dancing him like a God-damned fuck machine.Ā Asshole completely flips his shit, like how DARE another man try to dance with him at a GAY BAR???, starts spitting curses, and tears ass off the dance floor and out onto the sidewalk.
The Gay Avenger turns back to the girl, inclines his head in an, āare you okay?ā sort of gesture.Ā She nods, and he returns to his previous position of circling the dance floor, looking for his next target.
Told this story to some guys upstairs.Ā Apparently Gay Avenger is a regular there.
gay avenger.
Gay Avenger
@memecaptainsteverogers, @buckykingofmemes, isĀ something you want to tell us about your weekend?
Choose what is right, not what is easy.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (via writing-challenges-and-prompts)

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Let me tell you how I out thieved these two thievesĀ at work.
So I work a retail job on top of many other jobs, and these two girls were in and out of my store at least 8 times. Which is sketchy and pretty much a give away that they were quite obviously stealing things, Iād see them stick their hands in their pockets or in their bags, but I was the only person at work today so I couldnāt stop checking people out in order to confront themā¦..which im sure they noticed.
Fast forward a few hours when they finally come back in, they had decided to purchase something to seem less suspicious. A 4$ pair of pearl earrings. At this point there is no one else in the store so I think Game On.
While they were scanning the shelves for anything else they might want, Iām looking at their pockets. I can clearly see the small ring through the fabric that they swiped earlier, the outline of tags shoved in their back pockets, amateurs.
Now for those of you that donāt know, I was stranded in Ireland for about a month with little to no money when I was a teenager and had to resort to being shady to get by till my cousin got me a ticket home.Ā
Long story short, I am an excellent pick pocket. But I only use my powers for good instead of evil now.Ā
So I followed them around the store pretending to bump into them as I put items back on the shelves, I stole NOT ONLY the product that they took, but everything in their back pockets. Now before you wag your finger at me just hold on a minute. They come to the register to get the one item they decided to pay for, and Iām smiling the whole time.
Ā I tell them they price and thenā¦I wait.Ā
The one girl frantically patted her pockets, clearly confused and she looked at the other girl to ask āWhereās my money at?ā Ā This girl is clearly upset at this point and I suggested āOh hey maybe you dropped it?ā in the most sincere retail voice I can force my vocal cords to produce. Her and her friend drop to their knees and start searching for it. I let them continue like that for 10 minutes before I tell them that I had found it earlier and forgotten.Ā
āYou really should be careful the more you have in your pockets the easier it is for your money to fall out :)))))ā I say, the statement unnerved them, they didnāt know if i KNEW or not. But they awkwardly shook it off with a laugh and I start to ring up the earrings again. BUT THIS TIME, I reach over the counter and start to ring up the items I had taken from their pockets. I dropped the tags on the counter and the merchandise hit the table hard, just like these girls mouths hit the floor.Ā
You should have seen their faces it looked like someone had sucked the very essence right from their bodies.Ā āOh no she did not.ā The one girl whispered as she checked her pockets yet again. Yes, Yes I did :) iām beaming, their reaction added ten years to my lifespan.Ā They apologize, laughing it off like it was a funny joke. But Iām not done yet.This time I look them dead in the eyes and goĀ āWould you like me to ring out whats in your bags too before security gets here?āĀ
Shock, pure dismay and anguish come over them, they look at each other. Each of them looks at me like I have personally came and shot their dogs. I AM LIVING, Iām reveling in the situation. Slowly, they lift their bags and dump out more products than Mary Poppins could shove in her bottomless purse. I start ringing it all up. They look horrified. A total of 400$ worth of items. I hold the fate of these girls in my hands and they know it. Over 200$ is a felony larceny charge. But I think they have suffered enough and jail is not fun so I present the ultimatum.Ā
āYou buy it all and Iāll let you go.āĀ
and that is how I made all my sales goals and fucked with some shoplifters.Ā
Holy shit ur my idol, that was so beautiful I might cry
@mcmackelster
As a grocery parcel clerk, I cannot tell you enough how satisfied this makes me. We have reports of shoplifting across our stores, and hearing about how you were able to not only out-gambit them, but hold their fate in your hands, puts me in total awe of you. May you forever meet your sales goals, and good fortune head your way.
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