You're just as sane as I am.

I hate this so fucking much. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I’m trying not to. I’m trying to get over it, move past it. But man it’s been kicking my ass lately for some reason. Maybe it’s not having therapy this week. Maybe it’s being off my meds a couple days. Who knows. But it sucks. I fucking miss you Ash. So damn much. I just want to talk to you all night, be there for you, love you like I did. And I’m not going to blame you, that would be childish. I completely understand why we broke up. But still, I hate it. And I think I secretly kind of hate you. I know I love you. This isn’t fair to the new people I’ve started talking to, and yea maybe that’s because I shouldn’t have started talking to them. I said if things go south I wasn’t, I was going to focus on myself for a little bit. But fuck, I was hurting to much I had to try to find someone to fill that hole in my heart. Fuck depression and fuck me and fuck you.