love's bitch

she knows what they have is suffocating … and yet she cannot liberate herself. like a moth to flame, she finds herself in what he calls home. why she returns to him — why they repeat the same cycle each time ... an argument (whether or not there's heart behind their words is yet to be decided), followed by buffy's dramatic threat of needing to leave … and yet, somehow his lips always find hers and her clothes get lost in the mix. and in the end she feels as if she needs to scrub herself raw to forget it all.

buffy had been slipping on her leather jacket when she challenged him with her words. nevermind the fact of what had taken place not even ten minutes before. in her heart she believes this isn't love. how could it be? the passion was there. in her odd way, she does care for him. but it's never felt like what it was with angel. not with spike. 

he approaches as she flips her hair from beneath her jacket collar over the fabric – taking to fix herself. but the moment he's within reaching distance, fidgeting hands come to a slow and green eyes lock onto his. ever the dramatic one, she thinks to herself as she her gaze falls to the fingers tapping over his heart. ❝ no … i don't know if it's real. you could love me today. tomorrow you might try to kill me. and then i'll try to kill you – and it's all a big sucky kill fest. ❞ brows furrow and she shakes her head. ❝ and you don't get to tell me how i feel either. because how i feel is nothing like the little delusions you try to convince yourself of. ❞

he would give her the world if she let him. doesn't she realize that? he would give her the world and then every hell-dimension too if she required it. he doesn't know what to do to make her see how real this is, to make her accept it. she feels the same pull towards him as he does to her—and some days he almost has to laugh. he remembers telling that captain cardboard initiative ninny that he had the better deal. to hold her but not really have her because at least he got to touch her. maybe he jinxed himself for putting that out into the universe. he's not quite in the same boat is he? he has her more than that bastard ever did. he makes her feel things no one else has. he rocks her damn world! and then she runs off and acts like this isn't the best bloody thing either of them have ever tasted.

❝ delu— ❞ he scoffs before he can get the word out properly. ❝ 'delusions'? ❞ he looks at her, incredulous and disbelieving. a wry smirk tugs at his lips and he steps closer, breathing her in. god, she still smells good. even smelling of sex she is like a drop of heaven. it's infuriating. ❝ but you do feel something. ❞ just because she said it isn't what he wants to think she feels, she still implied she feels something. anything.

❝ are you all very stoned? ❞

❝ god! what is your childhood trauma?! ❞

❝ i want to date, and shop, and hang out, and save the world from unspeakable evil. you know, girly stuff. ❞

❝ i know you'll never love me. ❞

❝ love isn't brains, children, it's blood. blood screaming inside you to work its will. ❞

❝ i know i'm a monster, but you treat me like a man. ❞

❝ you wanna go steal some stuff? ❞

❝ why is it always the virgin women who have to do the sacrificing? ❞

❝ i know what you're doing. you think if you get me mad enough i won't be so scared AND HEY, it's working! ❞

❝ i'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots here. ❞

❝ great, now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day. ❞

 ❝ i may be love's bitch, but at least i'm man enough to admit it. ❞

❝ sorry, but i'm an old fashioned gal. i was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies. ❞

❝ we saved the world. i say we party. ❞

❝ your mouth is open and sound is coming out. this is never good.. ❞

❝ i'm afraid we're having a slight apocalypse ❞

❝ demons after money. what ever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? no one has any standards anymore. ❞

❝ well, i'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it. ❞

❝ i believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming text. ❞

❝ i'm way off my game. my game's left the country. it's in cuernavaca.. ❞

❝ it's like talking to a wall. only you get more from a wall. ❞

❝ the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it.. ❞

❝ and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. ❞

❝ you know what, i was wrong. you are an idiot. ❞