A Dom’s Work Is Never Done

Good evening class tonight we're going to get right into it. We're going to be discussing the topic of ROLES and no not the ones you get at Texas Roadhouse.

More specially we're going to be speaking about Submissive roles, what they are, what these roles entail as it pertains to the type of structure, rituals, & play that will bring out the best in each type of Submissive, and most importantly the unethical and downright unsettling practice of some "Doms" forcing, coercing, and demanding that subs take on roles that are unnatural for them.

I would hope we are all familiar with the submissive archetypes but if some among us are not, let's take a look at roles a submissive can take on and what they entail in no particular order.

Bedroom only submissives: better known as bottoms these types of Submissive are as the name implies solely relegated to submitting in the bedroom of as a way to decompress after a long day's work or running errands and doing chores.

The Service Submissive: Dedication Through Acts- This submissive finds fulfilment in performing tasks and providing services for their dominant partner. They take pleasure in acts of service, which can range from practical chores and errands to sexual services tailored to their dominant's desires.

Services Submissives can be broken down to the following subcategories

Domestic Service: Focus on household tasks like cleaning, cooking, or managing daily life, akin to a traditional 1950s role but within a power-exchange dynamic.

Sexual Service Subs: Focuses on adding a sexual component to a broader range of services, which can include professional, personal services that are designed to help their dominant succeed.

Bootblacks: Specialize in cleaning and maintaining leather gear.

The Bratty Submissive: Playful Resistance and Fun- this type of Submissive finds fulfillment in playful defiance or malicious compliance. They tend to be very playful, they like to provoke their Dom, either emotionally or sexually, and they’re simultaneously trying to get into trouble and talk their way out of it.

The Rope Bunny: Bondage-Focused Submission-this type of Submissive derives pleasure and comfort being bound

The Little/Middle: Age Play and Caregiver Dynamics: derives pleasure from a safe, cared-for, and often child-like dynamic, relying on the dominant for nurturing

The Slave: Total Power Exchange Dynamics-A slave is a submissive who derives pleasure from giving their entire body and decision-making over to their Dominant. They no longer feel as though they own their body, and they agree to let their owner make decisions for them.

Many would view the slave type submissive as one of the most extreme examples of a submissive. This can be the case in many dynamics, but it will depend on how the idea of ownership and slavery is approached by those involved.

Slaves can be broken down into the following sub categories.

Sex Slaves-When somebody agrees to be a sex slave, they give up their ability to decline sex (within an agreed-upon dynamic that uses a safe word) and agree to serve their Dominant sexually whenever it is requested of them within the boundaries they have set. This can be anything from giving blow jobs in the theater to fucking in an alleyway to having a quickie in the kitchen during Thanksgiving dinner with the entire family just one open door away (I am guilty of that last one). Essentially, it is the "I get to fuck you anywhere, any time I want, and you cannot refuse" (again, within the pre-set boundaries).

Domestic Slaves-A domestic slave is one who may appear to be more of a 1950s style housewife. Their duties may include making dinner, keeping the house clean, taking care of chores like mowing the lawn, or cleaning the litter boxes. A domestic slave is one who gives up their life outside the home to perform duties within it.

Full slaves-A full slave would be an individual who gives up every aspect of their decision-making and gives it to their Dominant. This can look different depending on the agreements that they've come to within their dynamic, but often includes aspects of the Domestic slave and the sex slave.

The Pet: Animal Roleplay Submission-Pets derive pleasure from encouragement from their Doms, they like to play, and frequently they partake in various trainings that may look similar to what a dog may go through. Clicker training, as with a dog, is not uncommon between partners who practice pet play.

Pets can be broken down to these sub categories (my own personal subcategories)

Domestic Pets: these include puppies, kittens, bunnies, ferrets derives pleasure from being pampered, trained, and being allowed to take on a non verbal animal persona.

Ferals/Primals: wolves, foxes, lions (other big cats),deer,gazelle, ponies, stray cats or dogs. These pets enjoy being hunted or hunting, they get pleasure from getting broken

The Masochist Submissive: Pain as Pleasure-Masochists are those who derive pleasure & get sexual gratification from feeling pain.

Now that we have refreshed our memory of the submissive archetypes. It is vital that you figure out what type of Dom you wish to be. Once you identified the way you Dom then you can properly seek out what type of sub or subs would best fit your style and your personal dynamics.

It is equally important if not more so that as a Dom you do not look at every submissive as a catch all. It will always be detrimental to your submissives morale, to their physical, and mental health if you simply try to plug in your sub to do tasks or types of play that do not align with the archetype that they exhibit.

While Subs and Doms do have some overlap in many cases you can not expect a sexual services submissive to also do your lawn care or clean out your pool.

Take heed all my fellow Dom/mes learn how to properly use your submissives in order to have a happier healthier dynamic.

Class dismissed.

Many who first come to view and explore the community of BDSM on Tumblr, enter with the incorrect assumption that they are entering a world with very informal relationships, as well as making certain assumptions about D/s types. What follows is a list of common misconceptions, and the truth behind them.

1. Submissive girls are up for grabs.

Submissive girls are either in a relationship, or they are not. If they are, they belong to no one but their own Dominant. No others have rights over them. If they are single, Submissives may choose to pursue relationships with their choice of Dominants. During this time, they belong to no one but themselves. No others have rights over them.

2. An existing relationship is no impediment for pursuing a submissive girl.

Most in the D/s community are monogamous. While some couples choose to find playmates, and some individuals are polyamorous, the law of the land is, if you see someone is already in a relationship, look for your next one elsewhere.

3. Submissive girls like to be called terms such as “princess”, “kitten”, “pet”, and “slave”.

These are terms of affection that are earned by a Dominant. Submissives do not want to be called these names by anyone they have not submitted to.

4. Submissive girls like to be referred to as “whore”, “slut”, and “cunt”.

Wrong again. Submissive girls who are into degradation like to be called these names by partners they choose, or by their Dominant. When a stranger uses one of these titles, it just feels like disrespect.

5. I can treat submissive girls any way I wish.

Just because they like to give up control, does not make them unworthy of your respect. In fact, they are due respect in spades for enabling Dominants the ability to explore their half of the power dynamic.

6. Dominant men expect others to hit on their submissive.

While some might enjoy being shown they have something that others want, the vast majority of Dominants prefer that their relationship be respected, and you keep your desires to yourself. Not sure is a submissive girl has a Dominant? Try asking.

7. There is nothing wrong with asking any submissive I meet to be my submissive.

D/s relationships require a high level of trust, which takes time to earn. Asking someone you just met to be your Submissive, is like asking that girl who you talked to a few times, that sits behind you in math class, to be your wife.

8. There is nothing wrong with asking any Dominant I meet to be my Dominant.

Again, it is entirely inappropriate to ask someone you just met to be your Dominant. Why would you give a near stranger such a high level of control over your day to day life?

9. Submissives are all alike.

Every submissive wants to do BDSM the way it works best for them. While many hold common traits, each is unique.

10. Dominants are all alike.

This is also incorrect. Not only do they each have their own appetites, but they adapt from relationship to relationship to provide the care and fill the needs of their current submissive.