& Give Me Notice☽

It’s 3am. This is the last time I will share a bed with this man. A hundred times and now never again. I don’t know what this will spark in myself, it’s too early to tell. I have so much growing left to do. The emptiness I feel now is new and special. We will part in the morning, on good terms, and fade into being strangers. I’ll get coffee with him in however many months to pick up my laptop and keys. This man who I would laugh with and drape myself over, in the matter of a day, becomes some untouchable, distant person. I could feel the connection break. How could it be so sudden. Now that things have been forced to change, I want not to touch him, or see him or engage in any conversation with him, but I will not leave him in bitterness. Just unbelievable sadness at the inevitable outcome, at how quickly things can change, at the knowledge of the future he holds with others, the fear of now being more alone again then ever. The tragedy of the first ever break up. I’ll leave him in the morning. I don’t know what I’m about to walk into but I’ll wish him well, get on that plane and begin moving on.