V. REPULSE

lips purse,  jaw clenching a second later.  he makes a point and it infuriates her. her head tilts slightly,  the smile she gives him is all teeth.     “  well then,  maybe you’re right about her and i should be putting my efforts elsewhere…  ”    a shrug as she drops her weapon completely,  goes so far as even holstering it.  the men behind her don’t.     “  there is a considerably strong alpha giving us just as much trouble as the werejaguar.  i think you’re familiar with him,  eloy.  ”

she crosses her arms,  smile still sharp and there’s a glint in her eyes.   “  we’ve been trying to draw him out for months,  nothing seems to work though,  at least not yet.  ”    her eyes dart behind matias as two of her men flag him and she stalks closer to him,  not giving the polaroids under feet a second glance or care.   “  seems he only comes out for you,  or to personally meet any of the strays you leave for him.  ”    

eloy,  the priest repeats the alpha’s name in his mind.  knows that their interactions haven’t been a tightly kept secret.  not with his cooperation with the pack,  and the pack’s emissary.  dealing with the alpha was a given.  still,  his is a name,  given the circumstances,  that warrants little to no reaction.  for both their sake.

“  so your sights are no longer set on the mccall boy?  i would think a true alpha would be higher up on your list.  ”    her grin encourages him   /   makes him bite.    “  or are you scared?  i think i would turn tail and run too.  ”    seeking him out the way she did,  matias should have known she carried an ulterior motive.  there was no room for civility when being blindly lead by anger and fear.

a nod before he glances away from the television set, watching the other play with apollo. the dog is completely smitten, but he has to ask.    “  do you want me to drop you off at home then or by the station?  ”    there’s not much he has to do, the hardware store is closed for the rest of the evening and he can’t think of anything else that calls for his attention. he does pull out his phone though, shooting off a text to malia to see where they went. once that’s done, he gives the tv another glance, changing the channel to try to find something else to watch. it occurs to him to ask another question, despite already knowing her last name, he doesn’t know her first.    “  what’s your name, kid? and how old are you anyways?  ”    

there’s nothing surprising about his offer.  she expected it,  actually.  because who in their right mind would accept the responsibility of looking out for a kid they hardly knew?  playing babysitter probably wasn’t high up on his to-do list and getting her home,  or to her dad,  only made sense.    “  i mean,  you can.  station would be easier.  ”    that way she could expose stiles for having left her behind.  again.  or she could call one of her other brothers.  kaz wasn’t going to do that though.  even if she did,  there was no way they could come get her in the first place  —  they weren’t the ones left with the jeep.

“  —–   fuck!  ”    just your luck:   a dead jeep in a dead lot,   a phone with 4% battery and no service—barely good enough to keep using as a flashlight—and a creeping darkness setting in as the sun dips beyond the horizon.    and now a bleeding hand from the fist you punched against the hood in a fit of frustration,   of desperation.

you angrily rub your wet eyes with the heel of your hand,   sinking heavily against the hood.    you have places you need to be;   things to do,    to figure out—     but everything’s just going wrong lately.

              and there’s a buzzing in your ear that won’t go away no matter what you do.   it only gets louder.

they don’t expect you because they have no reason to.  it was for their own peace of mind that they didn’t entertain failure or whether the fly was snared,  once and for all.    (   unlike his friends,  he's shrouded in it.  doubtful and anxiety-ridden.  which comes from having known you.  dangerously so;  intimate.  you   /   me   /   we.   )

why would they worry?  when victory is handed to them on a silver platter,  time and time again.  like every triumph before it;  set out before them,  just as tantalizing as the last.  one bite was all it took.  your body crumbled,  as did any doubt.  all because of the promise of a still beating heart.  she was alive   /   he was saved.  the wolf was happy with that.

what you give them are reminders:  incessant buzzing once heard by the banshee   /   nightmares  /  the sensation of never being alone.  stiles’ guilt is his own,  and you’ll latch onto it.  wedge it between him and the huntress  —  corrupt them further.  you’ll take what the alpha covets and make them your own.

henry frowns at the strange girl,  grimace deepening at the sarcasm.  it’s not a real stretch for him to guess who the young child is related to.  “  yeah,  i’m surprised your brother hasn’t gotten me one of those signs that reads never mind the dog,  beware the owner.  ”    he sighs and grabs a seat in his favorite chair,  grabs the remote to turn on the television.    “  so where exactly did they go and how long am i babysitting you for?  ”

“   i—    conveniently forgot?   —-   i was worried,   ”   he offers,     putting his hands in his pockets,    but the chill remains.    doesn’t look away from boyd;    far too observant eyes fixed on the other boy.      “   okay,    yeah.    but you were in here for a while,   and you should know better than to leave me alone for extended periods of time.   ”    cold hands tighten into fists in his hoodie pockets,   and finally his amber gaze trails over the ice rink in time with a frown that pulls at his lips.

it’s minor  —  the regret he feels for having been the one to call stiles in the first place.    (   something about not wanting to burden his parents or cross the threshold of having to explain where he ran off to for the past three months.   )    had he not called him,  he wouldn’t have to deal with whatever this would turn into.  either way,  he set himself up for conversations he wasn’t ready to have.    “  i was on my way out  —  you should work on doing as you’re told.  ”    fat chance that would ever happen,  but he can hope.    “  worry isn’t an excuse.  ”    keys in hand,  ready to lock up,  he shifts away from looking directly out to the ice.  he’s still avoiding it:  the elephant in the room   /   the ghost that lingers.

you’ve had to endure me for 2+ yrs and im sorry but …………. i lov you.

i mean,  you’re not wrong.    (   i’m really trying just to be a meme w this bc it really is a valid criticism and even i recognize that about myself.   )    thank you   ( 1 ) for sending this to me and   ( 2 ) for deciding that you’re going to be sticking with me no matter where my muse takes me. esp with the next 2 months bc this is the time of year where i feel like i really waver in what i want to do   /   where i want to be.    (   and i slip in and out of thinking my writing has gone to crap   /   or i’m just not all that relevant anymore.   **   the latter is just laughable to me after the fact,  bc it’s just my own self-doubt rearing it’s ugly head.   )

either way!  sometimes it’s even me just wanting to try my hand at a certain muse and not having the confidence yet and so i end up  ,,  backtracking??    (   personally  …  i don’t mind the bouts of inactivity that most of my blogs go through bc  ..  im fine w slow activity??  and the ppl that keep in contact with me kno it’s not for a lack of interest.  it’s just me bein a mess lmao.  )    but if anyone ever wants to plot   /   develop anything with me,  i’d encourage them    (   and you   )    to add me on d/scord bc i tend to be more talkative  +  active there.  i would even go as far as to say that i prefer it??