Crippling grief

Well maybe I don’t WANT to work double as hard as abled people!! Maybe I deserve a BREAK!! Maybe I’ve been working MORE THAN double as hard for MY WHOLE LIFE and it’s led me to immense burnout & caused me to develop several MORE disabilities!! Maybe I should be ACCOMMODATED so I don’t have to KILL MY BODY AND BRAIN over trying to do what abled people can do!! Maybe I DON’T have to work double as hard!! Maybe if there’s the option to let me NOT work double as hard, I should have it, because I’m already working double as hard JUST TO SURVIVE!!

Had a nightmare where Caine talked like ChatGPT. It was so terrifying that I woke up crying and panicking and started stabbing random people on the street.

TO FIND YOUR KISS - AUTHOR REVEALS!

Here are your authors for this year’s exchange!

To Find Your Kiss collection on AO3 | Treats Masterpost

GIFT FIC MASTERPOST

- Reap the Stars by XarisEirene for abbytheatre08

The prompt: After Ben’s death, Rey goes mad and turns to the dark side. Only Ben’s not dead anymore. ———————– She is consuming fire, magnificent in her rage. She will burn the galaxy to its foundations, until the ashes rain down and pile high as mountains. She will gather them into bouquets and scatter them like petals upon his grave.

He will be remembered, and they will not.

Call him The Light Bearer and Joy Giver. Call him He Who Loved and Laid Down His Life. Call him Ben.

- we are question marks that hang above the endless unexplained by LittleLostStar for AlwaysEverlark

The first time she walked into his club, she was looking for a job. Kylo took one look at her—the stubborn pout of her lip, the determined glint in her eyes, the ruddy glow of her face where the sun had kissed it—and swallowed a lump in his throat that was shaped like the words you’re too good for this place.

They needed a singer. Kira Johnson could hold a tune, knew the old standards, and had a knockout pair of tits to boot. A few slinky ballgowns and a touch of lipstick, and she’d more than do the trick of distracting suckers long enough to part them from their money.

The club solely needed to break even; anything they made on top of the Syndicate’s cut was gravy, and Kylo Ren had been lining his pockets with his own take for long enough that he could see Kira for the lump of clay that she was: rough-hewn, misshapen, but soft and supple and sure to curve under his touch.

- Eighty Bucks Says Sweetheart by strangeallure for Amoreusou

Ben likes puzzles. Rey needs help with a bunch of them. Good thing it’s a slow day at the office.

- Seldom Visions by SpaceWaffleHouseTM for Andrina_Nightshade

After visiting an old Sith temple, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has fallen  into a deep sleep when he pricks his finger on the point of a red  crystal. Rey become is the first to find him, but his rescuer isn’t just  any general or pilot, it’s the woman he shares a soul with, who haunts  his waking hours, who still sees him even in his sleep.

- The Dyad by Lady_of_Haven for aneighthdomain

Based of the Prompt: Groundhog Day scenario. Ben and Rey keep getting sent back to the first time they met and no matter what they do, Ben always dies so they stop trying to change events and just live a life time in the year between and couple of weeks and run away together.

- The Delegation by Vivien for aNerdObsessed

A humanitarian delegation from Naboo arrives at Niima Outpost. Rey is skeptical, to say the least.  

- Saudade: The Love That Remains by shipperofdarkness for AnneAnna

Saudade (n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; “the love that remains”

In those first few weeks, everything had been muddled in a haze as the Resistance tried to rebuild all that had been lost. Rey had buried herself in the work. It’s what she’d always done. Don’t think of your parents, don’t think of waiting, scavenge and repeat.

But it’s different.

Her parents hadn’t wanted her.

He had.

Her parents hadn’t loved her.

He had.

And in his wake, the wound had split Rey’s soul to the bone, like the scar she’d given him all those moons ago. It’s a blessing. And a curse. And all she has left. It’s the love that remains.

- i don’t want you like a best friend by irridesca for anopendoor

It’s not like she hadn’t seen this coming—Rose told her weeks ago that he was invited. It was an inevitability Rey was always going to have to face, she just didn’t think that Rose would be so merciful as to also give every guest a plus one.

But Rey can’t really be upset—and she is totally, unequivocally not upset—that Ben’s bringing someone because, well.

She is, too.

- Love is Weakness by crossingwinter for bittersnake

“He’s someone I found on my recent trip to Corellia,” Rey replies placidly, her face practiced in its boredom. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Love is weakness,” her grandfather reminds her, the way he has for years. It’s why he doesn’t love her. He will not be weak. It’s why she doesn’t love him, either.

- in sickness and in health (with health being less likely) by thehobbem for BlueButterflyKisses

Deciding to spend the rest of their lives together is the easy part for both Rey and Ben; the trouble is in how to propose.

- Snowed In by darlingreadsalot for Blueyedgurl

Never in her wildest dreams did Rey Johnson think she would ever get to  meet her favorite other Kylo Ren. She also would have never entertained  the idea of the scenario she found herself in. How did a hike in the  woods lead to a snowstorm and taking shelter in a remote cabin in the  woods? The idea was so ridiculous but had become reality. Stuck inside  with a handsome stranger surrounded by a winter storm, Rey wonders what  will happen with no power and only one bed. Will they be polite  co-habitants stuck in a strange set of circumstances or is there room  for something more?

- Curses, Comforts and Capybaras by Andrina_Nightshade for Bombastique

Arrogant CEO bites off more than he can chew when he angers a witch… And suddenly finds himself transformed into a capybara. Can kindhearted wildlife rehabber Rey Niima help him break the curse?

- To Heal a Broken Soul by Reykenobi68 for Cat2000

Ben survives the fallout of Exegol, but his connection to the physical world is in danger. Rey tends to him as she searched for a way to heal him.

- holding me like water in your hands by literallynoonecares for Ceallaigh

After Hux finds out Ben killed Snoke, Hux encases Ben in Carbonite. Rey refuses to let Ben stay frozen forever so she mounts a rescue.

- Like a Thief in the Night by firelord65 for chagrins

Their bond won’t let them be alone. At least this time it’s the middle of the night and they can’t get into a shouting match.

- The Chance by darknessvisible for Crysania

When Rey and Ben, long time co-workers who have never been able to admit their feelings to each other, go on a weekend retreat to work on a movie adaptation script together, a Nor’easter leaves them snowed in. On Valentine’s Day.

- Awake by QueenOfCarrotFlowers for cuddlesome

Something inside him is awake, and something inside her is about to wake up.

An alternate interrogation scene.

- darkness rises, and light to meet it by politicalmamaduck for czechia

After the throne room, Jedi Ben Solo and Kira Ren meet again a year later.

- Not Quite a Fairytale by Crysania for DarkMage13

Rey lets a stranger use the phone of the café she works at late one night. It changes the whole course of her life.

- The Canvas of Your Skin by tearoomsaloon for darlingreadsalot

She was incapable of touching him without drawing  blood, it seemed. Lines like vermillion paint streaked where her fingers  sketched down the contours of his face, his back, and now his chest.

In  which a Force bond is splintered, a resurrection goes wrong, a kiss is  forgotten, and two almost-lovers avoid speaking for the better half of a  year.

- You Won’t Escape Me (‘Cause I Set You Free) by DarkMage13for DoorKeeper9

“W-What are you doing?” She would have been more irritated if she wasn’t shivering.

Kylo rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to let hypothermia kill you.”

“S-Stripping me is not going to kill me? That makes n-no sense.”

Rey needs a kyber crystal and Kylo is trying to prevent her from getting into more life-threatening situations. It’s definitely not because he cares about her. Nope.

- Fleeing the Storm by Padawan_Writer for driverfever

As the granddaughter of an merciless aristocrat, Rey’s  life hangs on a thread at the hands of the French Revolutionaries. When  her childhood friend, Ben, offers to platonically marry her in order to  take her to his home in England to safety, she has no choice but to  accept.

But her suitor and revolutionary Hux won’t give her up so  easily. Hounded by revolutionaries and falling in love, Rey and Ben must  use all their wits to flee Paris and make it to England.

- Equal Measure by misszeldasayre for dustoftheancients

When Princess Rey of Coruscant calls upon the cursed Sir Kylo Ren to help her escape her grandfather the emperor’s political machinations, she discovers freedom in the ancient familial magic that binds them together.

- Benimina Solo’s Late On-Set Force Ability by MissCoppelia for Evangel10n

Benimina Solo has never, not even once, had an ounce of Force Sensitivity. She’s done a great deal to move on with her life after failing out of her uncle’s Jedi training school. So when Rey Palpatine comes into her life and suddenly everything changes, she’s not a happy camper.

- Splatter by DoorKeeper9 for expendable

“You’re Palpatine’s girl,” he says coldly.

“His chief of staff, yes.” Rey’s eyes narrow. “And you have your hand on my ass, Kylo. Kindly take it off.”

“Or what?”

AKA powerful corporate rivals Kylo and Rey put the hate in love/hate.

- The Haunted Mirror by AlwaysEverlark for FangirlintheForest

When Rey travels to UK to attend the reading of his grandfather will, a  grandfather she didn’t know existed until that very moment, she finds a  house, and a old story that will haunt her…

- i’m your secretary by OccasionallyCreative for firelord65

Kaydel pressed her lips together in a thin line, passing a pile of  datapads over the desk. “I don’t know what that pretentious nerf herder  has put into your brain, but these are tales of the key roles women have  played in past rebellions.” She stood, tapping the pile. “They’re great  reads,” she added, with a pointed raise of her eyebrow.

- and they danced across the sky by chagrins for flipflop_diva

When he was still a child, he constantly watched the blue butterflies as they danced in the sky.

They  seemed to be calling him, aiding him each instance that icy-cold  darkness flowed through his very veins. The magnificent creatures saved  him from the voices. They drowned out the incessant chatter in his head.  Temporarily cleared away all the anger. During those brief respites,  watching those blue wings flutter in the sky, Ben felt free.

But that’s another life. Another world. Another time. Another, another, another.

And Kylo’s no longer a child.

No. He welcomes the darkness now. Embraces it.

- Finding The Answer by Cat2000 for FrenchMartiniPlease

Rey pines for Ben Solo…so why does her soulmate mark always drain of colour whenever she gets close to him?

- Almost Unforgettable by maq_moon for HopeRebel

The woman in the mirror has blood on her clothes, cash in her bag, and a letter from her husband telling her it’s better to forget. Well, he got his wish. She forgot everything– including her name. And she wasn’t the only one afflicted.

It’ll take the combined efforts of gumshoes, a flatfoot, a washed-up Hollywood starlet, and more to get to the bottom of this bad business. In the end, these things always come back to the beginning.

- The Curl of a Sigh by okpianist for irridesca

During the last song in Maxine’s set, a song she announces is called  “Soul Companion,” Ben heads back out to the lobby to look for Rey. He  finds her not with his eyes but with one broad shoulder, when he bumps  into her and knocks her gig bag out of her hands and onto the plush  carpet.

- and they were roommates by myownlittleinfinity for Lady_of_Haven

When Ben loses a bet to his roommate, Rey, he has to eat her out for 30 days.

- torn away from you (my heart is broken) by bittersnake for lakerose

The Force binds more than minds.

- 3 Days in Vienna by anopendoor for Like_A_Dove

Kylo Ren, trained mercenary Alpha assassin, is on a  mission—assassinate Chancellor Palpatine and bring his underground  authoritarian regime to an end. It’s what the First Order demands, for  the better of society.

It should be an easy task. He’s been  getting close to the Chancellor and his cronies for years. So how is it  that the unexpected appearance of an Omega, with a seemingly similar  mission—and a wholly inconveniencing scent—become a distraction he  hadn’t accounted for?

- If You Take Me flipflop_diva by literallynoonecares

Rey sighed wistfully as she watched her two friends lean in toward each other as they danced, their lips meeting and melding together as they seemed to become one person instead of two separate beings. She had seen them kiss so many times, but this kiss … it was special.

“I just want someone to kiss me like that,” she mused softly to herself, her eyes not leaving her friends.

“I could make that happen if you wanted.”

- Confidence and Desire by MBlair for LittleLostStar

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You  don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the  confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

- Love brightens even the most monstrous parts of ourselves by Lutrosis for LRRH17

No one knows since when the giant, black bear has lived in the forest near Theed. Many stories about the origin of Kylo Ren circulate in the small village. After Rey has run away from Jakku, and arrived in Theed she has heard them all of, but has never actually meet the creature. This changes when her and her friends get attacked by bandits on their way back from Otoh Gunga.

- Your Sweetness Comes With Sugar on the Side by AnneAnna for Lutrosis

Rey’s daughter loses her mother as she wanders around the Supermarket. Ben finds her and the two connect over both being Type 1 diabetics. They find Rey, and Ben and Rey are instantly smitten. As they date and fall in love they discover that Jade and Ben are connected more than they thought and healing is brought to the Solo/Skywalker clan.

- Allegories, or Allusions to Real Life by czechia for maq_moon

“Boys, please stop arguing.” Rose rubbed her temples. “Poe, we get it,  you’re childhood best buddies, you’ve got a better grasp on his  character than some rando of a rando you met at a party. Finn, for  fuck’s sake, we’ve been working with Ben for months. I’m pretty sure if  he’s a serial killer or whatever, it would have come out by now.” Finn sat back in his seat, grumbling. “Not how serial killers work.” Rey  was going to have a headache if this continued any longer, so she lied  through her teeth at the reality of a new player joining their D&D  party. “He seems nice.” She didn’t trust a single inch of skin on that  man. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

- We’ve Met Before by PoliticalPadmé (magnetgirl) for MBlair

Rey and Ben meet, move in together, get engaged, and marry.

- Invite the Wild In by thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily) for midwinterspring

Kylo Ren, the mysterious senator who appeared from out  of the deserts of Jakku and somehow brought them back to life, has spent  a long and unproductive session on Hosnian Prime. Now, it’s time to go  home. After all, there’s someone waiting for him and so much for them to  do together.

(The ancient Sith had some interesting rituals.)

- Purim Party by Lorelei713 for MissCoppelia

Rey goes back to visit her foster mother for a Purim celebration. She meets Ben Solo who’s visiting his parents, who are friends with her foster mother. They have an attraction to each other right away, but try to play it cool.

- The Banished Heart by stellardarlings for misszeldasayre

On Rey of Niima’s nineteenth name day, Jakku gains a new wizard.

Jakku is a withering outpost of the kingdom, and its people hope the new wizard - the mysterious Kylo Ren - will bring them the rains the land needs to heal. Rey is a lonely, clanless girl living in Niima, and she has a secret. One she hopes the wizard will be able to help her with too.

- The Smuggler’s Bride by tmwillson3 for MyJediLife

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the  late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her  doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces  sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only  person who can save her.

- Annabel Lee by driverfever for myownlittleinfinity

Rey keeps finding these … notes in her locker. She doesn’t quite get them. They seem like love notes, but she doesn’t know who they could be from. Meanwhile she’s paired up with Ben Solo (who hates her despite her gigantic crush on him) for this English assignment. Who knows how THIS will go.

- with my body i thee worship by yodalorian for niennathegrey

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- the losing game by KoreRosemarinus for no_big_deal

Sith Princess Rey Palpatine is given a peculiar gift for her Life Day: a Jedi. Not only that, one who is boorish, spirited, and stubborn. But, he presents an opportunity: one that could liberate her from a life under the thumb of her grandfather. She has seven weeks to change his heart before all her freedom is taken from her - forever.

- standing right in front of you by reylotrash711 for notkellymarie

When Senator Solo’s engagement is pushed forward, he and his Jedi  bodyguard, Rey, travel to Naboo alone for the announcement ball. The  pair despise each other, constantly bickering and disagreeing with each  other, which makes spending extensive amounts of time alone together all  that more difficult. Until of course, one of them breaks…

- the good, the bad, and the smuggling by Priestly for OccasionallyCreative

Ben Solo is a seasoned smuggler. And he’s not bad at it, either. But  when bounty hunter Rey offers him a temporary partnership he can’t  refuse, Ben will find himself pushed to the limits of his skill,  patience, and resourcefulness on a job that’s dangerous enough to be his  last.

It’s like his dad used to say: bounty hunters are nothing but trouble, kid.

- Whatever our souls are made of…his and mine are the same by writergenie for Padawan_Writer

Ben and Rey meet only after Kylo has defected from the First Order and  returned to the Resistance and his mother. Will the dyad still find a  way to be?

- You’re My Dark Princess by Evangel10n for persimonne

Five years after the defeat of the First Order, Rey is no longer the woman we knew. Having no war to fight, Rey turns to contract killing. Not quite a bounty hunter, no, an assassin is not that honorable. She no longer relies on the Light side to guide her or the Dark, not claiming either side. She is a completely different person, lost, angry, numb. One day she is hired to kill a man she knew intimately, but he doesn’t remember her. What is she going to do? She has two choices here, kill the past or save a man she thought was dead.

- They say that only the dead have seen the end of war by Juulna and Annaelle for politicalpadmé

“He traded his life for mine,” Rey choked, stomping back and forth in front of him so fast he could barely keep track of her. “He died. He died so I didn’t have to—and it’s not—it’s—after everything he’s gone through—it’s not fair.” Tears were running down her cheeks now, and Poe wanted to do nothing more than hug her, but there was nothing he could say—nothing she would want to hear. Poe remembered all the people he’d lost, all the times he had raged and screamed and cried about the unfairness of it all. “Leia sacrificed herself to bring him back,” Rey declared suddenly, ceasing her constant pacing around the fire as she looked straight at him. “And he sacrificed himself for me—and now no one’s going to know. All he’ll be remembered as is Kylo Ren, but he was—he was so much more.” She exhaled with a shudder and whispered, “He was a part of me, and I—I don’t feel whole without him.” ~

A Force Ghost Ben/Rey love story, with a side of rebuilding the galaxy.

- Cicatrix by cuddlesome for Priestly

Getting cut up by Rey on Starkiller awakens something in Kylo.

- I Will Always Be With You by Ceallaigh for Prix

But she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy for much longer. She was starting to show, and her friends would start asking questions. She would have to give them answers, some of them would not understand, and none of them would accept.

She carried his child. The tiny spark of light woven with darkness, just like her. Just like his father.

—————

The world has gone dark More times than you Or your mother Or your grandmother Can remember. And every hurricane That was meant to be The end of it all Had instead ended In sunshine again.

So believe me When I say; You will survive this And the next one too.

World’s End—Nikita Gill

- all my daydreams are disasters by persimonne for QueenOfCarrotFlowers

During her search for the infamous Luke Skywalker — the man who predicted a devastating earthquake in New Madrid, Missouri — Rey finds herself entangled in Luke’s family history and with his brooding nephew, Ben Solo.

- on what ground I was founded (when I first saw you) by midwinterspring for redbelles

Kylo dreams of Rey after the Battle of Crait. And the yearning is mutual…

Some Force Bond dream smut inspired by “Shrike” and “NFWMB” by Hozier.

- Last Summer by Abbytheatre08 for Reykenobi68

Rey had started to get used to Ben not living next door anymore by the time the holidays came around. Then he’s back for the holidays. Rey is really expecting things to go wrong after the way he left at the end of the summer. ut is it really going to be that bad.

- The Long Way Home by VR_Trakowski for reylotrash711

In the aftermath of Exegol, Ben and Rey are divided by  misunderstandings.  It will take time and danger for them to work things  out.

- Under the moonlight by Takekurabehime for shariling

I don’t know why I followed you here. She wanted to reply. Maybe because  you’re so tall I couldn’t help but notice you. Maybe it’s because of  your hair or the way you move, or maybe it’s because of that kind of  melancholic look in your eyes. There is something about you that I find  terribly attractive and I don’t know what it is: maybe the moon or the  alcohol or the wolf I have met before infected me with some strange  parasite and now I am hopelessly attracted to dogs, I do not know. She  could have said one of these things, any of them, instead she said:  “I’ve never bitten anyone before, and I want you to be my first.”

- Fallen by Reykenobi68 for shipperofdarkness

Prompt: Devil!Ben and Angel!Rey or Angel!Ben and Devil!Rey. How do these two on completely opposite sides fall in love and defy worlds to be together?

- come away with me by HopeRebel for silentfleur

Rey owns a tinker shop, but her life changes when she meets Ben Solo and is cursed by a witch. Not necessarily in that order.

- A Picture of Me Without You by the-reylo-void (Anysia) for SpaceWaffleHouseTM

“I suppose I’d somehow struggle through / But I’d hate to picture myself without you.”

It’s impossible not to have a soulmark. It’s not a big deal, not in the lax and gin-soaked speakeasies of 1920s Manhattan, but it’s still a heavy weight to bear, as Ben Solo and Rey find out side by side.

- Lips Raw With Love by MyJediLife for stellardarlings

Their kiss on Exegol wasn’t their first kiss…

Nor would it be their last.

- Everyone Makes Divine Mistakes by no_big_deal for Takekurabehime

Jedi Knight Ben Solo is sent to Naboo on an errand of mercy (and to visit his grandparents). He arrives in springtime; but will he be able to complete his mission without finding himself distracted and bewildered when love and intrigue waft through the fragrant air?

- Glitter & Gold by aionimica for TearoomSaloon

Rey is lead singer in an up-and-coming glam metal band. They’ve finally  got steady performances, but that means playing at the same club as the  Knights of Ren, whose lead singer definitely isn’t interested in any  competition.

- To kiss like lovers do by FrenchMartiniPlease for the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Ben and Rey spend their formative years growing up together in Medieval  Scotland and it looks like they will end up together. Circumstances  intervene and Rey loses her chance to be with him. Devastated, she  carries on until the day clan Ren attacks Castle Jakku lead by the  notorious killer Kylo Ren.

- Snow Turns To Rain by aneighthdomain for thehobbem

For a moment, he wanted to ask what she meant, but  if he was being completely honest, he already knew.  He asked himself  that same question over the years, and none more often than tonight,  since seeing her again.  Was leaving worth it?  Was going their separate ways worth leaving each other?

“I’m  not sure,” he said finally, shaking his head.  “I’m happy…” he said,  and she tensed a little, so he continued, “with my work.  I’m glad I’m  doing what I love, but….”

“But?”

“But it wasn’t the only thing I loved.”

- Change the Dance by expendable for theresonatinglight

- Meet Me in the Woods by FangirlintheForest for thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)

“What do you mean no one goes in there?” A chuckle. “It’s  haunted. People see all sorts of weird things in there and some don’t  ever come out. You’re better off living with your curiosity.” Rey  wakes in a shadowy forest with no memory of where she came from, only  her name. With the help of the resident guardian she takes a journey to  figure out her past, and maybe even discover her future.

- permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) by theresonatinglight for Thursdaygirl

As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben  Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective.  He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming  otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.

- show me the stars. by shariling for tmwillson3

“I don’t hate Christmas, I just don’t love it the way  you do.” Lifting his head, he pulls a face, loosening up a tangled  ornament of a poodle with pink, curly fluff. Rey snatches it from him  possessively, tossing it back to the cart. “No one loves it the way you  do, to be fair.”

“Now that’s the truth,” says Poe, who Finn invited about half an hour ago to keep him company.

“People have bad taste, I don’t know what to say.” Huffing, Rey  scrolls through her phone with more intent. “Neither of you are helping  me, anyway.”

“What’s the problem?” says Poe.

“Rey thinks her hot neighbor hates her —”

“He does hate me.”

“ — When really he’s been flirting with her for the past, oh I don’t know, how long have you lived there?”

- I realized that I need you, I wondered if I could come home by Blueyedgurl for VR_Trakowski

Rey is doing exploration work for the Resistance, searching for force sensitive planets so any force sensitives that they find have a place to train.

One day, midflight she finds a slip of paper with the elegant scrawling words of the ones that came before. The ones that she found when Ben still roamed the galaxy.

When she lands on a dark and barren planet she is forced to face the feelings she thought she buried.

- Shadows of the Moon by dustoftheancients for walkingsaladshooter

The hallways got darker, the corridors grew longer.  Shadows stretched across the walls. The ghosts of Breha Manor grew each  night.

Rey clutched her necklace. Ben met her gaze.

And every night, there was weeping.

- show the way (the world could be) by niennathegrey for writergenie

In the aftermath of the Battle of Crait, Rey struggles to find her place among the Resistance. However, her lingering Force bond with Kylo— Ben— whatever name he calls himself— complicates things, blurring the line between friend and foe.

When the tension threatens to boil over and a desperate plan goes awry, Rey begins to wonder whether there really is a line between light and dark after all.

(Stars do burn brightest in the blackness of space.)

- why don’t we go (somewhere only we know) by LRRH17 for XarisEirene

The bond snaps back into place, even stronger than before. He is here. With Rey, yes, but with Luke - Luke, who is looking at them now with that same dangerous glint in his eye that haunts Ben’s dreams.

- renewed, transfigured, in another pattern by midwinterspring for yodalorian

i want her to be free

I redrew this picture of the cast as the characters

Okay I fear some of us are missing the point.

Yes there was a lot of misogyny and transphobia in jax's inner thoughts. It's because he has a lot of internalized misogyny and transphobia that he needs to work through. It wasn't character assassination.

Jax grew up in an environment where masculinity was violent and hated, and if he was anything less then a man then he was shamed and punished. He was forced into the shadow of his father and any choice he made (embrace it or fight it) was punished. His inner selves reflected that.

You had the trans femme side that couldn't let people know the truth, that she enjoyed being in the dress, in fear of ridicule. Because she never had a safe place to come out, because if she was less then a man she would be punished.

You had the sexist side that objectified women because that's what a man is supposed to do. That's what Jax is supposed to be. If he wasn't then he was punished by his mother. That was the part he was expected to play in the society that he grew up in.

Then there's the soft part that plays the piano. The closest to the real Jax, the one who gives Pomni the key, the one who is still chained. They're softer, kinder, and they're abused by the other sides of Jax. They aren't allowed a voice, just there to provide entertainment to the others.