Stumbles out of google docs covered in blood

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

i can’t relate to horror stories where it’s like ‘my wife started acting crazy isn’t that so scary?’ because i would support my wife no matter what i would love my crazy wife

opening up my own fanfiction document on my personal laptop to see if the author has updated it yet

“and how do you know the bride?” we’re mutuals on tumblr

look all i'm saying is that if i found a guy with a stable job, a nice house, and a big dog, i, too, would eat the pomegranate seeds

"defend your thesis" why are you attacking my thesis