vixen !!

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

that tweet that's like being drunk in a walkable city makes you feel like the mayor of new york

#THIS WAS A FUCKING ROOOOOMAAAAAAANCE moment #one of those moments when i knew jacob tierney Got the genre #bc this look of conflict and desire and the fact that shane CANNOT SEE IT #it's that and the big spiel in russian where it's like... this is why dual POV in a romance is so important and 9/10 times the better choic #(w exceptions!) #if you're a perceptive audience member (and not everyone is lol) you can tell that shane is not getting the full picture #you know that ilya's feelings are real and intense #but shane not knowing and YOU knowing makes the tension even better (tags via @mermaidsirennikita)

80% of unrivaled has to be ilya being incredibly uncool at all the casual intimacy he gets to have with shane now. they go to a bar with the team and shane puts his hand on ilya’s knee midsentence and ilya chokes on the rest of it. at the grocery store and ilya is holding up an avocado to see if it’s ripe enough and shane walks up behind him and puts a hand on his hip and ilya drops it. yes they’re having freak sex but now it’s because shane was on the phone with the dog groomer and they’re asking about appointment times and shane says “hold on let me ask my husband—“ and now he’s face down ass up in the middle of the kitchen and ilya is like say that again say that again say that again say that again

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.