gewitterwolke

But I don't wanna talk about my suicidal thoughts all the time.

I wanna talk about normal stuff.

Like what do you mean people put up bets about what I would be doing with who?

People only ever build up a relationship to me when we shared a joint.

I got the most compliments when I was deep into my eating disorders.

I knew how to control my emotions through vaping.

I stopped it all. I don't know who I am anymore. I barely have friends.

I don't feel better. I am still a mess. Trying to function with some random medication that is supposed to help with my depression, headaches, sleeping and so on. An all in one. Doesn't do anything.

I still have the urges to drink, smoke and accidentally forgetting to eat. Atleast I was a someone.

Not that i liked the person I was. It became worse over the years.

Drinking alone. Not being able to control myself. People talking.

Its just that nobody cared. I even tried to act on some days, to make it look even worst, but nobody cared.

Aber wen würde das denn interessieren? Dauernde Melancholie und Pessimismus. Wut im Bauch.