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Don’t hire this cleaning service

i will hire this cleaning service immediately, don’t tell me what to do

wow sir… this resume.. is amazing. i didn’t even know you could get a pHD for being a babe magnet… hired.

this post attracts white girls like flies to honey

there is soooo much beauty in being a good person 

*slut drops to invisible*

Me every time I get a simple text from my bff: I fucking love this bitch more than all of creation

do you know how many bones the human body has? its 206. we start with 369 when we’re babies but they fuse. wouldn’t you want to go back? have as many bones as a baby? what if i could help you

hi yeah what the actual, literal, GENUINE fuck does this mean