Tits and Eyelashes

Listen, there’s no point in sugar coating this: The world is a disaster right now and holy shit we’re raising babies in this.

As easy as it is to get caught up in the day to day exhaustion of feeding and diapers and naps and errands during tantrums and oh shit do I have ANY clean clothes??? right now the most important parenting we can do is activism.

But where do we even start? It’s overwhelming, but closing your eyes and picking literally anything is better than nothing at this point. Still stuck? Here’s a handy-dandy tasting menu of causes and resources.

Concentration Camps in the United States

Remember learning about WWII in school and going ‘how did everyone just let that happen?’ GUESS WHAT! Right here, right now is how. If you’re not out there actively opposing Nazis, guess what that makes you? I promise you that if you don’t stand up and stop this now they will come for you and for your children next.

What can you do? MoveOn has a great list of ways to stay informed and organizations to turn to.

Climate Change

I could beat this issue to death, but I’m not going to waste my breath. Get serious about reusable bags and travel mugs, recycle, pay attention to the packaging of the food and products you buy, and reduce your carbon footprint. Arcadia Power ties directly to your electricity provider and makes sure you’re using renewable energy resources if your provider doesn’t have a renewable energy program itself. 

Veganism

Everybody loves to hate on vegans, but I’m sure your kid will consider “but meat tastes sooo good” and “vegans are just annoying assholes” as totally legit excuses for more than one quarter of the world’s species going extinct during their lives. Listen. We make sacrifices for our kids, end of story, and if you want your kid to have a future then you need to be pulling your weight. This is how you do it. Suck it up and make yourself healthy in the process.

Abortion Access, Birth Control, Safe Sex, and Women’s Health

Have you heard the news? Turns out, people with uteruses are nothing more than incubators! Fetuses have more rights than grown women (and individuals with uteruses) but people in concentration camps are exempt from human rights. Pissed the fuck off? You motherfucking should be. Get your ass over to Planned Parenthood and see what you can do. 

LGBTQ

Yeah, I know pride month is over but guess what? Queers exist 365 days a year and we’re in deep shit right now. The good news is we’ve come a long way in the fifty years since Stonewall, but the fight is ongoing. Especially since Pride just happened (and is still happening in some places) you probably have heard of some local organizations, but if you’re not sure where to turn Lambda Legal, PFLAG, GLAD, and GLSEN are all organizations with great track records and ways to act locally and globally.

Gun Control (and Unexpected Fashion)

Let me be very upfront: I own guns. At times I carry a concealed firearm. I am in possession of several levels of licenses and a lot of training to do so. And holy shit do we need better gun control! My kid isn’t even old enough to go to school yet and my partner and I are already having to consider homeschooling or a similar alternative because of the commonality of school shootings. For fucks sake, this should not be a hard concept to grasp! And this issue offers a way more low key way to advocate! Buy some sunglasses! The money from buying sunglasses through OYE goes to gun sense groups and the website also offers direct ways to advocate and stay informed. 

Vaccine Trials

Did you know they are doing human trials on the HIV vaccine right now and you can sign up? You can’t currently be pregnant or breastfeeding, but otherwise you may qualify. Not feeling comfortable with that? There are a ton of vaccines (both new and improved) that are in safe, legal clinical trials right now. I’m not saying Big Pharma doesn’t have their own motivations here, but wouldn’t it be great to help ensure your kids won’t have to worry about the life threatening diseases we do? 

Call Your Representatives 

I can’t stress this enough: Contact your local government representatives. I know we all have phone anxiety. I hate, hate, hate doing it, too. But no fucking shit, guys, this is life and death. Are you really going to let your anxiety about a phone call to a receptionist (who I promise you does not care how awkward you sound) make you stay silent about Nazis? Pick up the phone, scream SHUT DOWN THE CAMPS or STAND UP FOR CLIMATE CHANGE or NET NEUTRALITY IS STILL IMPORTANT or whatever the main point of your chosen issue is, and hang up. That simple. You’re not doing this for you, you’re doing this for your kid.

Speak Up, Speak Out. Always.

No. No it’s not.

Most tiring? I reckon sweatshop workers might have a few things to say about that.

Most expensive job to have, though, right?! Thanks to “unpaid internships” and minimum wage jobs requiring masters degrees I’m not so sure about that one either.

Most all-consuming then! You’ve never worked on a graduate degree, have you?

Let’s just drop the high and mighty superlatives, shall we?

Real talk: Parenting is not hard.

Baby cries? Hold them/feed them/change them/interact with them. Baby laughs? Do more of That Thing. Baby is sleeping? Hey look, your arms are free! Rinse and repeat for a couple years.

What it is, is fucking exhausting. You need a new diaper AGAIN? We JUST got downstairs! You’re only happy when I’m standing in this particular place and bouncing you in a specific rhythm? Really kid? You need to chew on my nipple every fifteen minutes all night? Oh, it’s cool, I hate sleep and I never liked my tits not hurting anyhow. I feel like the walking dead half the time. It’s not remotely pleasant.

Is it an excuse for why I need six shots of espresso today and bought pre-fried tofu instead of cooking it myself? Yes.

Is it an excuse to cut the Starbucks line or be a bitch to the cashier? What the fuck, no, of course not!

You know who else has a hard job and is exhausted to the bone? Emergency medical personnel struggling to save your kid’s life because your dumb ass listened to Facebook for medical advice instead of science; the retail worker hitting hour fifty of your bullshit this week and still not making a living wage; the IT supervisor dealing with boomers who still can’t understand why you need to use a password; the attorney prepping a case for trial with literal lives depending on the outcome. Prior to my stay-at-home gig, I worked several jobs that were mostly confidential in nature and I can tell you all of them were much harder and I had a lot of days where I came home just as emotionally and physically drained.

I’ll be the first to admit I am lucky af that I’m in a situation at the moment where I have a supportive partner and can afford to be a stay at home for a while. I also willingly entered into parenthood, even if I did so with a certain amount of trepidation. Single parents, parents who need to work full time, or parents with financial (let alone housing or food) insecurity can definitely argue difficulty level with me.

And I’m not saying parenting is easy. It isn’t easy at all and it is absolutely not, under any circumstance, something I would wish on anyone who isn’t 100% enthusiastic about the idea and in a stable and capable position to follow through. (Now would be a good time to hop on over to Planned Parenthood to offer them some support.)

See that loser up there? Yeah. That’s me. And I’m in trouble and really need some help.

I hate having to ask for help, but I don’t really have any other options and tumblr is a magical place that sends kids to Disney and helps people get out of nasty situations so I figured I’d give it a shot.

I was recently diagnosed with hearing loss that is going to necessitate hearing aids. The problem? Hearing aids are freakin’ expensive. As in $3,000 for the low end ones and $5,000 for the good ones. My entire family works full time, but that still doesn’t give us that kind of money to drop on this.

My job (and thus my ability to continue supporting my family and myself) relies pretty heavily on my hearing so this is something I really need as soon as I can manage.

I’ve set up a GoFundMe page where you can donate and I’ve got the widget on my page. If any of you have a dollar or two to spare it would help me more than you can imagine.

kill jedi scum

kill master

throw lightnings

kill innocent people

use anger

more lightnings

kill unfaithful apprentices

rule galaxy

destroy entire planet