Just A Girl

me watching my life fall apart

“I’m still learning to love the parts of me that no one claps for.”

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

this bitch empty

“What if I sometimes like to cry? What if I sometimes allow myself to go down dangerous roads, knowing exactly where they‘ll lead me? I know this is going to hurt, but I don’t back down. I embrace the pain and feel it in every heartbeat, every shaking breath I take. What if I sometimes tear at my stitches, opening the wounds to watch them bleed again? What if I trace my scars with steady fingers, remembering where they came from and who gave them to me? What if I voluntarily put myself through the pain of listening to your favourite song or wearing your old shirt that still smells like you, letting the memories wash over me? Truth is, it reminds me of you. It reminds me of what we had. It reminds me how right we were at a time, and that no matter how wrong we might be now, we existed once and we were pretty damn great. It reminds me that nothing good is ever erased completely, that a trace of it always remains. The people you once held close changed you, if only a tiny bit, affected the way you look at the world, affected the way you look at others and at yourself. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that it mattered, and I willingly take the pain that comes with remembering. Remind myself that it still matters, years down the road, even though we’re both long gone and moved on.”