Hi Mrs Edge. You answered a question for me some time ago, and it gave me so much to think about. I saw you reposted it recently, and I wanted to give you an update, and ask another question.
We do have an FLR, and I keep my husband locked all the time. I rarely came from intercourse in the past, so this was not a problem for me. After reading about you enjoying the Ranger so much, we decided to try it for ourselves. It turned out that I enjoyed it quite a bit, much more than either of us expected. I discovered that being "in control of the action" allowed me to have regular orgasms that I did not have from PIV with my husband, so "Foxing" became a normal part of our lovemaking.
That led to my keeping my husband locked for longer and longer periods, without any "reward." And as you can probably imagine, when I would allow him a "reward," he would be so sensitive that he would barely last a minute inside me before finishing. Since after coming I just want to lay back and snuggle, I decided that it was too much trouble to look for the key, unlock him, and then have him clean up the mess after he was done. So I finally told him that I really had no more reason to unlock him, and that I didn't imagine myself allowing him inside me anymore.
So as you can imagine, my husband is freaking out over the idea that he is now in a "No pussy" FLR marriage. I don't really feel guilty about denying him, because he did ask for all this, and this is where we ended up. Although sometimes I feel a little guilty that I don't feel guilty, do you know what I mean?
Anyway, I wanted to ask you about this. How did you deal with your own guilt (if you had any) over permanently denying your husband? How did you manage to convince him that this was a good thing? And how was he able to cope with it?
Thanks again, 💋 Mistress Karin
Hi Karin - I remember your post. I was wondering if I would hear from you again, and thank you for giving me an update. You seemed to have a lifestyle that was similar to how my husband and I started out.
Here is the original question.
You have a lot going on here. To begin with, I do know what you mean about feeling guilty about not feeling guilty. 😅 My husband really allowed me to be selfish and for a while I would stop and wonder why I was okay with it and if I "owed" him for spoiling me. All I can say is that time will tell. Eventually I just took it for granted that he was totally okay with pleasuring me and that he really was satisfied when I was satisfied. I used to ask him if he was okay but I guess eventually I just stopped asking and listened to him tell me how he felt. And while we don't have an FLR, we're in a very similar situation. He committed to this... to giving me all the control knowing that we could end up here. And that's where you are with your husband. I think a lot of men have this fantasy in their heads that their wives will become some kind of sexual dominatrix and don't know how to cope when we REALLY take over and tell them what we want. Your husband probably didn't expect to be in a "No pussy" relationship and now has to figure out how to cope with it.
The other thing that you have going on is that your husband is probably a little (or a lot!) freaked out that making love... intercourse... is more enjoyable now that he is "foxing" you with the Vixskin Ranger. My husband has said that a lot of men have this deep rooted primal fear of not "being good enough" in bed... wondering if their wives are thinking about someone else or wishing they were with men who were "bigger" down there. And while they can be good in bed... loving or creative or passionate or whatever you like... they can't make themselves bigger, so they tend to obsess over it. 😅
So right now your husband is freaking out that his own penis wasn't "good enough" to make you come. His worst fear... that he is being "replaced" is coming true. Even though the Vixskin attached to him he probably has in the back of his head that "he" wasn't enough and he is no longer in control of any part of his situation.
Worse (for him) ... now that you've discovered something "better," he gets unlocked less and less which makes him more and more sensitive. He is losing whatever ability he had to give you any pleasure with his own penis. So he's not just freaking out that you have turned this into a "No pussy" FLR... he is also freaking out that even if you allowed it he couldn't "measure up" to his replacement.
I know there are some couples who do "foxing" and who give a name to their Vixskin. That kind of plays on the "being replaced" fear that many men have. If your husband secretly enjoys the idea that may be a way to make his freaking out more exciting.
We aren't into that... I just prefer to think of the Vixskin as my husband's actual penis, and that's how he has learned to think of it as well. I don't know if that's good or bad but it's how I feel the most comfortable. He "copes" with being "locked and replaced" by learning how to enjoy the pleasure that he gives me. He says that he's still freaked out but has found a way to make it erotic in his head.
And of course a lot of men just get freaked out by the whole idea of "no pussy" in their relationship. If your husband is more freaked out by the "No pussy" aspect then you could probably help him by allowing occasional "rewards" like unlocking him and just using your hands. I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand I think it's okay to give your husband some rewards to keep up his spirits. On the other hand (😅) by using just your hands it might emphasize your "No pussy" rule, which could just make him more aware or focused on it. Certainly, by sticking to your "No pussy" rule he will be always re.inded that you are in charge which is probably what you want. I know that when my husband comes in his cage, it feels good for him... but it also reminds him that this is the only way he's allowed now. Again... the idea is both hot and scary for him at the same time.
For me... it really took a few years for me to feel comfortable that my husband was really enjoying this. Even though he committed to it years ago I needed some time to see how dedicated he was and know that even during those times when there was stuff going on with them family or whatever that he wasn't going to freak out and ask to be unlocked. And I have to say that a big part of my own comfort was a result of watching how he handled himself over the years. I know that even though he wanted more... he proved to me that my own pleasure was the most important thing in his mind. Once I could see that I just all sense of guilt or feeling sorry and have been able to just focus on what I enjoy.
Please drop by more often to let me know how you're doing.
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