But new kittens make everything better, right?
At least she liked me better than she liked my ex...
Single and ready for some self love. 💜 Finally able to do what I need to do to make myself happy and meet my goals without the weight of someone else's crumbling world crashing down all around me on a regular basis. Bolder by bolder.
I'm proud of myself for being able to make the call, however difficult, to end a relationship that just wasn't working for me.
A relationship with someone that lied to me more than once and lost my trust just a few short months into our year long romance.
A relationship with someone who proposed because he was afraid of losing me, he couldn't let me get away. (A realization that came a little late.)
A relationship with someone who constantly hid his true emotions from me, causing problems due to resentment for things that I was unaware had occured until months after the fact. (Until our relationship was crumbling right before our eyes, to be honest.)
A relationship with someone who couldn't process their negative emotions that overwhelmed them so much it caused him to take his pain out on me by using hurtful words and causing confrontation over the slightest error in my thoughts or actions.
The reasons he doesn't understand and no words I say could possibly make him.
He's hurt that I've left him. He thinks that I've just given up on our relationship and that I've just given up on him.
But he doesn't know how hard I worked to make things okay, to be the woman he needed. I had to prove myself to him, through no fault of my own, because of all of the women of his past that had wronged him before. Yet I had the most patience, understanding, and non judgemental view on him, his past, his views and lifestyle.
But I left him. So I'm just the bad guy in his eyes.
What hurts the most, I think, is the fact that he told me he's losing who he thought was "the one," his "forever," yet he is already looking for conversation with other women. Wherever he can find it. Admitted to me he messaged a couple of his exes to "make amends and catch up." (Which sounds more like rekindling an old flame if you ask me...) But he is also on tinder and it hasn't even been a full week since the breakup and I'm not even fully moved out of our home.
It's hurtful. It's disrespectful. It's trashy. It's wrong.
So I'll take my hurt and write about it here, where I may know no one, but I can feel more heard than I ever did when I tried to speak to him.
I'll take my hurt and I will find the happiness that I've got somewhere deep inside.
But for now I'm going to take my hurt and cuddle this new kitten. Because kittens make everything better and that's just a personal preference.