Itās like itās second nature
The nature of my mind
My fingers find the grooves
Amongst the knobbled pine
I think I liked it better
when I didnāt know
Iām a liar
Iām a lying liar
Monterey Bay Aquarium

ellievsbear

romaā
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
šŖ¼

tannertan36
tumblr dot com
we're not kids anymore.
Claire Keane
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space šø

Origami Around
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap
seen from Germany
seen from Italy

seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Dominican Republic
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Ireland
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia

seen from Italy

seen from Malaysia
seen from Finland

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from South Africa
seen from United States

seen from United States
@somethingqueerisgoingonhere
Itās like itās second nature
The nature of my mind
My fingers find the grooves
Amongst the knobbled pine
I think I liked it better
when I didnāt know
Iām a liar
Iām a lying liar

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To me youāre an orchid,
Heart in my throat in a hot house.
Spotted freckles along your petals,
Donāt grow where I canāt reach.
Orchid otherwordly,
I donāt feel like I can breathe,
The misting machines are suffocating me.
And these tourists taking pictures,
Donāt see what I see,
Their blurry photos make me want to scream.
A quick Steddie study
Eddie knocks on the surface of the door and steps back, putting his weight on one foot. He waits impatiently, tapping his foot until the door finally creaks open, revealing Steve. His hair is swept back and yet somehow also falling in his face in its usual fashion.Ā
āHarrington,ā Eddie says, ābusy?ā
Steveās brows furrow, he glances back into the house when muffled talking issues from behind the door.
āJust a friend,ā he yells before stepping forward making Eddie stumble back. He closes the door behind himself, āwhatās going on?ā
Eddie puts his hands on his hips, ācanāt pay my best bud a visit?ā
āUh, no thatās not what I-ā
āRelax Harrington, they sent me to get you, and by ātheyā, I mean a bunch of kids who helped us beat an interdimensional mon-ā
Steve leaps forward, covering Eddieās mouth with his hand. āAre you crazy?ā he grits out in a whisper, āsomeone could be listening.ā
Eddie pushes his hand off, frowning, āitās not like anyone can hear us out here.ā
āYouād be surprised,ā Steve says, glancing around.
āOkay,ā Eddie says, stretching the word out, āanyway you coming or not?ā
Steve fixes him with a stare, his tone still hushed, āthis is serious shit okay. You donāt know about what,ā he says the next word so quietly Eddie strains to hear it, āthe government, has done to cover this stuff up. They donāt like us poking around in it.ā
āWell considering Hawkins basically cracked open, expelling the depths of hell, I think they have bigger fish to fry than a bunch of kids.ā
āIf only,ā Steve says, hopping down the steps and shoving his hands in his pockets.
Eddie takes this as his cue to follow.
āWhatās going on? What do they need?ā Steve asks him.
āThey want to have a little brainstorm about our good friend Vecna. Hey Steve, I uh, havenāt told you where weāre goingā¦ā Eddie says to Steveās back.
āOh shit, yeah,ā Steve stops, turning to wait for Eddie, ālead the way.ā He spreads out an arm, gesturing for Eddie to go ahead and Eddie hates the way it makes his stomach flip.
āCome on,ā he says, annoyed. Fuck Steve Harrington and his hair and his tight jeans and his manners. And no Eddieās head does not respond āwith pleasureā.
They walk in silence for a bit, Eddie struggling to find something to say in the quiet surrounding them.
Itās Steve who breaks it, āso youāre into all that Dungeons and Dragons stuff?ā
Eddieās eyes widen, āI donāt know whatās weirder, that weāve fought off Demo-bats together or that Steve Harrington, king of Hawkins High is asking me about my hobbies.ā
āCome on dude youāve got to drop that high school stuff, Iām not that guy anymore.ā
āYou donāt remember me from school do youā¦ā Eddie promised himself he wouldnāt ever bring this up, that he would let bygones be bygones. How embarrassing.
Steve frowns, ānoā¦but I didnāt exactly hang in the best circles in high school.ā
Eddie lets out a derisive snort, āno kidding.ā Steve waits, watching and Eddie gets nervous under his gaze. āI used toā¦see you around the school, especially in the cafeteria, we sat two tables away from each other.ā Way to sound creepy Eddie, like you spent all of high school watching Steve Harrington.
āTo be fair I was in the same class with Robin and I had no idea who she was when we met. I wasnāt exactlyā¦focused on others back then, I was kind of a self centered piece of shit.ā Steve has his eyes on him again.
Eddie doesnāt know why he doesnāt shut up, āI meant it when I said I was jealous of you. You fit in so well, no one ever questioned if you belonged for even a moment.ā Everyone in school, everyone in this whole fucking town seemed to think it was their duty to remind Eddie just how much he didnāt belong.
āIs that what it looked like to you?ā Steve says, ābecause everyday I felt like an imposter. It was all just a show.ā
āThe Steve Harrington Show,ā Eddie says, smiling around the words, āthe hair, the looks, the bod.ā Please shut up.
To Eddieās surprise Steve laughs. And itās a rich sound. When Steveās laughter dies out he finds Eddieās eyes, ābasically, yeah. But it was all just bullshit.ā
Eddie thinks of Steve sitting on top of the lunch table, laughing. Of him walking the halls. Of him at pep rallies in his uniform.
āGuess things arenāt always like they seem,ā Eddie says quietly.
They fall into a silence and Eddie is surprised to find itās not an uncomfortable one.Ā
They make it to the Wheelers and Eddie is surprised at his nerves. Are they really going to let him in the house? Though all charges were dismissed, do you really let a suspected murderer into your house?
They ring the doorbell and Mike answers the door to Eddieās relief. He ushers them in so Eddie decides to ask,Ā āarenāt your parents going to be freaked that Iām here?āĀ
āThey arenāt home.ā A knot in Eddieās chest unclenches. Mike leads them all to the basement where the horde is waiting. Theyāre all busy in conversations but acknowledge them both as they go to sit down and to Eddieās surprise Steve sits next to him.
āOkay, okay! Everyone shut up!ā Dustin says, standing up and walking in front of everyone, waving his arms.
It does work and the room falls silent.
āWeāre here today to discuss our options for defeating Vecna. Ideas?ā
A hand goes up and Eddie follows it to Robin.
āAre we sure heās not dead?ā
A boy, Will, Eddie strains to remember, speaks up,Ā āheās definitely still around.ā Oh yeah Nancy had explained to him how this kid was somehow in tune with the upside down. Eddie did not envy him as he remmebered the chill in the air there, the constant feeling like someone was sneaking up behind-
āI have a question,ā can a sure voice.
āYes, Erica?ā Dustin says.
āWho put you in charge?ā
Aged up Loāak wip
Just got out the hospital and Iām scarier and angrier than ever šš Really didnāt want to do a stint in grippy socks vacation, now really donāt want to do the healing that comes after but if you think Iām not gonna whole ass it youāve got another fucking thing coming

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Oliver steps forward hesitantly into Charlotteās space. The way his palms start to clam up and his nerves rush to his stomach, makes it feel like sadistic self-inflicted betrayal.Ā
He tries not to flinch when his fingers brush her delicate wrist, taking it his hand to steady it and bringing his other to the belted clasp of the watch. The leather is sleek and smooth outwardly but the inner side is almost confusingly soft for leather. He unclasps the pointed metal piece and watches with a shameful interest as the band falls away, running like water against skin until itās cradled and lightly clasped in his hand as though heās curiously afraid to really hold it. They both slowly look up and their eyes meet in the middle in a heart topping searing moment. Against everything in him, Oliverās eyes fall and submerge in the desire of her lips his gaze finds itself resting over.
Her lips lie together lightly but as though they could part at any moment and tell him everything he wants but is afraid to hear. Theyāre shaded with a paisley beige eased pink. So light it feels both like a hand laid over a thigh or unconsciously smoothing comfort thatās wanted but afraid to be voiced.
He forces his eyes back up and finds her expressive eyes so wide with something resembling hopeful anxiety, he feels like a bared open wound.Ā
He takes a step back and holds out the watch still cradled in his palm. His eyes catch on the underside of the band where words are imprinted.
āThank you,ā she says quietly, taking it from him, careful for fingers not to linger.
She is setting it down on the table when he works up the courage and levels his voice enough to speak.
āWhat do the words say, if I may ask.ā
She looks up and gives him a soft smile colored with an accepted sadness. Her eyes are such a lovely pale blue he thinks heāll move forward and just let himself drown like he wants to.
āYou donāt have to tell me,ā he gets out before she can speak.
āItās quite alright,ā and his stomach flips as he watches her smile warm into a completely honest one, her eyes creasing with her delight but maybe really his own. āMy mother gave me this watch. She raised my little sister and I and I always had such admiration for her grace.ā
She sounds a lot like you. āYou have a sibling?ā
The smile breaks into a feeling of resignation. āI did. Unfortunately she passed.ā
āI see.Ā
Iām sorry.ā
āIt was a very long time ago. I got the engraving put in after she died.Ā
āReturned to peace but forever alive within.āĀ
āThatās beautiful.ā And he means it, and he can see that she knows it.Ā
āItās a way to keep the good memories but always remember my duty to keep her memory alive by making this a world she could have only known love in.ā
āThat must be a heavy burden at times.ā
She looks up, genuinely caught off guard.
she waves off the correct assumption, āItās truly not. Itās one I want to carry.ā
He nods but doesnāt say anything.
āWell,ā she says breaking the silence awkwardly, should we finish getting ready? I mean not together of course! Separately. You at your house, me here-
āI understood, Detective.ā
She breaks into laughs of genuine delight and Oliver tries to fight the pride that wants to bubble up.
Princess Diana, 1983
Knives out and Glass Onion work bc it brings the role of mystery solving detective out of brooding tortured genius and back to its rightful place as Friendly Weirdo In a Little Outfit
Too old to hold hands,
But youād hold theirs.
Too fat to wear that,
But youāre allowed to wear yours.
Too out there to be acceptable,
But the leaps in logic you take are larger than mine.
Too strange to be accepted,
But your rules donāt add up.
Too weird to be tolerated,
But youāre happy to ignore most things.
Thank god heās nothing like you.
Winner up or runner up?
Hard to tell,
When youāre losing either way...
Which do you prefer?
Your dignity or your sanity?
You canāt have it both ways,
But youād take it in any shape or form,
This I know.
Why?
Because he told me so.
No one dies with a happy ending,
I mean,
Maybe if you die while getting a blow job.
But that is a very niche instance.
Bohemian king,
Humble ruler,
Flower laid over your heart.
As delicately placed as your hand on my soul,
As the shape I take in your arms.
Kindest of touch,
Softest of temperament,
Do I really get the honor,
To lay my head next to yours each night?
Youāve ruined my life.
Do it again.
Where did I go wrong to end up with you?
Please tell me!
Iād make the same mistake again and again.
No reason!
Iām asking for a friend!
āitās a beautiful thing to be understood, but a powerful thing to understand yourself.ā
ā iambrillyant

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Sarah Kay, from āAnd Foundā, No Matter the Wreckage
we've been holding onto the old self, these days. the wolf girl. the weird little kid. the strange wildling that would run through forests, our knees all skinned.
we remembered the magic of our loose teeth, how we used to know how to talk to trees. we're taking god out of the church and prying worship from the dirt. making our lives about using the finer things, about just-trying. the leisurely enjoyment of laziness, lawlessness, of leaving the dishes undone. of enjoying food without apology, of showing off our naked body, of kissing her. call it hedonism, sure.
always knew something else about ourselves. spent our whole lives hushed up; told we're made wrong. that's fine, these days. we used to know how to cast spells on the clouds. we have always been a little bit of lightning. the moss will teach us the soft hand - here's how to belong.
relearning magic. a little beautiful necromancy: you gave me nothing but bones. i still made a family.
A co-worker of mine was standing outside with me during a break from customers to share a cigarette with me, and told me about how he had lost his brother that he was close with some years ago. He told me about how they used to be in a band together with some friends, and how ever since he'd died, he hadn't played any music because he'd been too scared and anxious. I told him about how I'd lost my brother to suicide some years ago.
I went home and pulled out an old tiny wooden box my brother had given me before he'd died. I'd been using it to store guitar picks I'd collected over the years, including one guitar pick that used to be his. I haven't played the guitar since he'd died, my hands are too small to play some of the chords, so I play bass and piano instead.
I went to work the next day and gifted my brothers old guitar pick to my co-worker. I told him that it'd been sitting in a box for ten years unused, and would probably sit there for longer if I kept it there. Told him that I thought he deserved to have it, because I bet he could put it to better use than I ever would. Told him I didn't feel like it was coincidence that me and him would cross paths with each other in our lives, and that it seemed suiting that we had these similar experiences but split in two halves. That somehow, I felt like he was meant to have the guitar pick. I told him that I knew he'd not played guitar since his brother died, but that if he ever decided to play again one of these days, maybe he'd be able to honor both of our brothers by using that guitar pick.
He almost cried. He thanked me. Then he went home that night and for the first time in years he played the guitar.
I don't know what the meaning of life is or what my purpose is, but I do believe that love and human connection is one of the most important things in life. It's finding ways to tell strangers you love them and share experiences with others. I think it's all just about love.
July 21, 2023 theater run
I hope Ken and his crew give off the Zoolander male models vibes, heads empty.

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Who's third wheeling,
You or blue?
Charcuterie spread,
Is goat cheese the best?
Heās all about new experiences,
And experiments,
How high can you drop a wrapped egg,
Before it shatters?
Prescribed bed rest.
Awkward white elephant,
Itās tradition every year!
Converse on my wish list?
What! Itās on yours too?
I just love fascinating intercourse.
Hair long enough to move.
Christmas-lights-phobia.
Exposure therapy is the only way!
For the sake of science!
Iām a supporter of the arts too!
Even if I sometimes think Vermeer is full of crap.
But you better know heās not.
Because I trace coffee imprints,
From just enough sun.
Weird noses,
Are just so much more fun.
And weird is my favorite,
I have to go powder my nose.
Here! Catch this thorn covered rose!
You saved me a coke? Oh darling!
How did you know?
You told me so...
Have a coke, I mean joke!
Why did the harlot speak French?
To stick it to Marie Antoinette.
Custom tailored Christmas ornaments.
Some heartfelt and homemade,
Some that have long anticipated holiday cheer.
Letās hide the ugly ones in the back,
They have to go on even if theyāre trash!
In this house we believe in second helpings,
Unless you want to skip the meal altogether.
I hated those plates anyways,
Just like expectations!
Because youāll never be happy,
with anything we do or donāt do,
Because you think love is conditional,
Like you.
Well someone went waaaaay out of their way,
To let me know itās okay,
That I think it might be unconditional,
And thatās okay.
Int. Castle - Night
Hurried footsteps sound down the hall. A couple of castle guards enter the hallway, they are clearly in search of something. They hear a sound down the hall and take off.Ā
A closet doorway in the hallway opens and a girl sticks her head out, surveying for sounds of trouble. She exits and starts making her way down the hall. She is clearly very on edge.
She is looking behind her when she trips over an artifact in the hallway, the sound is deafening. She closes her eyes in complete frustration before shouts can be heard in the distance and runs for it.Ā
The guards are gaining on her, thatās when she gets an idea. She opens a large window and climbs onto the ledge. She edges her way across the ledge so that sheās hidden. She looks down and it is a sheer drop into icy, rocky, churning waters.Ā
It is clear to us that she doesnāt know what to do next.Ā
Guard
Hey!
A guard on the wall spots her. She rushes across the ledge almost slipping. She takes a deep breath and keeps going. Sheās rounding the corner when sheās met with a guard.
Guard
Someone shouldnāt be out of bedā¦
More guards join him. He advances towards her and she steps back hurriedly towards the edge.
RenĆ©eĀ
Stop! Or Iāll jump!
The guards laugh and continue.
The camera gives her a moment of peace. She has resigned herself to what she must do.Ā
She presses her fingers to her lips. Closes her eyes and then lets herself fall backwards. She plummets down into the sheer water.
Ext. Beachside - Day
The sky is overcast and grey, the beach uninviting.
There is a figure on the water's edge. Itās the girl. She is deathly pale and not moving.
The screen flashes with snippets of a scene. A funeral procession, a room cast in low level light. A woman at the window looks back towards the viewer.Ā
The girl gasps, sitting up and immediately turning to the side and vomiting up sea water. The force of it makes her cry out in pain. She brings her hand to her side and it comes back bloody.
She looks at her trembling hands and then all around her nervously, she is deathly afraid.Ā
She gets up shakily, almost falling over and runs for the shelter of a structure of rocks. She climbs them to get a better view and spots a small rural village.
EXT. Rural town - day
The girl is trying to get through the alleyways without being spotted. She spots a clothesline.
EXT. center of town - day
She has changed clothes and now wears something appropriate for the setting. She wears a coat and relies on it heavily to hide her face.
The town is bustling. Vendors yell and haggle, people all walk with a sense of purpose. She is in the way, people knocking into her.
We close in on her reactions. She is mesmerized. Itās dirty and busy but she is enraptured by the beautiful things. A group of excited children buying candy, fresh produce, spices, anything you could want, people laughing and smiling.Ā
Suddenly her smile drops when she spots a woman on the street grabbing onto people, she's hysterical.
She canāt help herself, she asks the vendor next to her.
RenĆ©eĀ
Whatās she doing?
The vendor is disinterested.
VendorĀ
She says the guards took her husband.
Blank
What? Why would they do that?
The vendor now becomes interested.
Vendor
They say he was involved with the underground movement. Not sure why sheās so torn up about it if her husband was probably a you know.
She is extremely taken aback and tunes out the vendor looking back at the desperate woman.
She leaves the vendor and his rambling and keeps on her way.
Ext. Bar - day
She enters.
Int. Bar - day
The bar is not a welcome sight. Letās just say itās filled with people sheās never seen before.Ā
She walks up to the counter.
RenĆ©eĀ
Excuse meā¦
Her voice is entirely droned out by the commotion.
Someone cuts in over her, leaning past her and placing a hand on her shoulder.
Kene
Rai!Ā
Barmaid Rai
What!
Kene
Heās trying to order!
The man looks back at her.
Kene
āWhat do you-ā
He stops in complete surprise.
She panics thinking he's recognized her and backs away, her hood slipping down. She backs into the back of a chair, nearly toppling a man over. Heās angry at first but stops when he sees her.
Drunk man
āNow what is someone as lovely as you doing somewhere like here?
RenĆ©eĀ
āNo Iām-
He grabs her wrist pulling her in.
RenĆ©eĀ
āLet go of me!ā
Kene
āLet Go.ā
Itās the man from earlier.
The two men stare each other down. The drunk man stands, trying to intimidate the other man.
āWhy donāt you stay out of things that donāt concern-ā
The man stops at the sound of a blade and looks down to find one digging into him.
āLet. Go.ā
The man lets go.
Kene grabs her wrist and drags her out of the bar as she tries to get him to let go.
He drags her to the side.
KeneĀ
What are you doing?
RenĆ©eĀ
āWhat am I doing? What are you doing! Who do you think you are?ā
She rips her arm out of his grasp. She starts stalking back towards the bar but he pulls her back again.Ā
RenĆ©eĀ
āGet off of me!ā
Kene
āAre you insane? Do you know what theyād-ā
He goes quiet.
Kene
āDonāt go in there again.ā
Her shock is palpable at the seriousness with which he says it.
He lets go of her and reaches for her hood. She flinches back but he gently takes her hood and raises it, placing it back on her crown. He gives her a wink and a smile, before taking a couple steps backwards and turning back around heading in another direction.
She is puzzled but then seems to get an idea and runs after him.
āHey!ā
He turns around and she runs the rest of the way up to him. He waits.
āI needā¦some kind of transportationā¦do you know where I might find something?ā
āIn Arsul?ā He laughs and keeps walking.
She cuts his path off and reaches into the top of her dress.
We close in on Keneās surprised face.
She pulls out a necklace, holding it up in front of him.
RenĆ©eĀ
āIāll pay.ā
His eyes go wide and he grabs it out of sight.
Kene
āAre you insane? Flashing something like that around here?ā
RenĆ©eĀ
āWill you help me or not?ā
He drags her into an alley and inspects the necklace.
RenĆ©eĀ
āI need to get to Evelin.ā
Heās distracted by the necklace but then fully processes what sheās said.
Kene
āEvelin? Thatās seas away from here.ā
RenĆ©eĀ
āWhich means we better get going.ā
She tries to say it confidently but it does not work.
He stares at her in confusion but then bemusement.
Kene
āIāll take you to Kirth and no farther.ā
She starts to object.
Kene
āAnd Iāll get you on a boat that will take you the rest of the way. One where you wonāt beā¦you knowā¦ā
She stares at him in confusion. He stares back in the same manner.
Kene
āWhere did you say you were from?ā
āOsreet.āĀ
She's not convincing at all.
āYou know what, I donāt care.āĀ
He starts walking and she follows closely behind.
āBut wherever you stole this from, it better not get us into more trouble than weāre already in.ā
āI did not steal it!āĀ
Her reaction does not warrant the situation.Ā
āSo you come from Osreet? The capital most well known for its shitty farming and you expect me to believe this is a family heirloom?ā
She looks like she's going to argue but lets it go and keeps walking.
āUm, itās this way?ā
She turns around stalking off in the other direction.
He keeps walking in the other direction. But calls over his shoulder.
Kene
āYouāre gonna lag behind!ā
Sheās annoyed but runs to catch up with him.