someone get arnaldi to sneeze in front of zverev omg
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someone get arnaldi to sneeze in front of zverev omg

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we can give one trophy to iga and one to coco and then the men get none right
I gotta stop jinxing these things
okay hear me out we give one trophy to chwalinska and one to andreeva and the men get none
I dont wanna jinx anything I just wanna say jakub mensik and his glass body (who retired from ao this year and was wheeled off the court R1 of rg) cramping during the PRESS CONFERENCE worries me a liiiiittle bit
an upset? yeah girl im upset too
the way this has the chance to be the best roland garros as a tournament in recent years (on the men's side at least) on one condition (zverev doesn't win)

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in no specific order, new possible roland garros final predictions bc fuck it the theme seems to be chaos anyway
we still get an Italian vs Spaniard final because the universe loves to play a cruel joke on us (Cobolli/Jodar or Berrettini/Jodar)
Zverev in the final and loses a 5 setter he was two sets up in to his opponent. Dominic thiem is in the crowd as a reminder.
Juan Manuel Cerundolo wins Roland Garros and everyone says "not the cerundolo we would've thought"
Frances Tiafoe becomes the first American since [insert legacy tennis player here... Agassi? Chang??] to win roland garros
Madison Keys wins roland garros because she couldn't defend AO
Naomi Osaka wins roland garros because this is her comeback and to show she's even better than before it's not even hardcourt. This of course means she's gotta defeat Sabalenka next and that is also a major upset to keep in theme with the tournament.
Marta Kostyuk wins roland garros. we get a wide shot of Sabalenka crying on court while Kostyuk backflips
Svitolina wins roland garros to show up her husband's legacy in front of his friends and family
Andreeva wins and she says she's going to buy a car with the money despite still not being able to drive
we can give one trophy to iga and one to coco and then the men get none right
I gotta stop jinxing these things
it's fine coco's gonna win uso trust
ok well at least there are no more surprises left on the men's

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we can give one trophy to iga and one to coco and then the men get none right
how about we all take a week to reset and come back
edit: hey I had this in my queue as a joke and now jannik lost and now I really mean it
i understand rankings wise it's an upset but like taylor fritz coming back from injury on CLAY yeah he wasn't winning nbd
why are there only 4 guys on tour that are not injured/flopping rn
jannik sinner
arthur fils (surprisingly)
flavio cobolli
jiri lehechka
arthur NOOOOOO

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new olivia rodrigo song upon first listen reminds me of sufjan stevens' Chicago i love it already
every young old derf chronicles episode is a top tier episode for me and im so sad they're only planning a limited number of episodes and that it takes them so long to come out with a new one but also so worth it
ahh now I gotta relisten to mtz again