Someone Treasure

You and her are different

You are soft while she is gentle

you are curvaceous while she is dainty

You are lovely while she is stunning

You understand other while she understand him

You were being protected by him while she was protected him

You want to be saving by him while she always saving him

You sacrifice yourself for him while she sacrificed everything for him

You want to be his rain while she is the one who stop his rain

You always want to be with him while she is the one who always with him

You are selfish while she is selfless

And more...

But you have one similarity...

You both love the same guy...

And you want to make his yours while she just want to make him happy...

And because of that, she just can watch him be yours 

Because she knew, that they are in a different world...

I'm still here. Deep down in the darkness.

It's seem I can't move nor escape.

I'm still feel guilty.

I'm still feel sorry.

And I'm hurt because of you.

I can't seem to trust people and share my feeling with others.

I still can not forgive myself.

The past that keep haunting me make me scared.

The bad thing that I had done to you are still fresh in my mind.

I can't forget it even I want

And I can't erase it even I tried

Dearself,

     I know you are tired. I know you are lonely. I know you are hurts. I know you are angry. I know you are disappointed. I know you are sad. I know.

     I know, when the night comes, you are thinking all about your regrets, problems and struggle. I know too well about it.

     I know that every second you are thinking how to endure all the pain, thinking what you should do and how you regret your decision. I know.

     I know before you falls asleep, you are always crying and blaming yourself for everything. I know.

     And 

     I know, you also thinking about death. Everytime you felt bad, you were thinking about suicide, how to end your life. I know you always hurting yourself by hitting your head against the wall and sometime, when it hurts too much, you just take the knife and slice your wrist just to overcome the pain in your heart.

    I know, you blaming yourself too much just because you didn’t want to hate others. You blaming yourself because you afraid that you will hurt other by hating them. So, the only way is to blame yourself. Put all the burden and anger into yourself. Now, you keep blaming yourself and you thought that you better end up your life. I know.

    And you keep blaming yourself, now you really hate yourself. I know. And I sorry because I can’t do nothing to help you. I really sorry. 

you will be fine...

just trust yourself...

you can find your happiness...

it's okay...

you can cry...

but don't take it too long...

because you need to smile too...

it's okay not to be okay...

it's okay to be yourself...

just don't hurt others...

especially yourself...