sorens safehaven

But now, as the slow four weeks went by, his profile never seemed to have turned online or read your messages. You knew what was happening, unfortunately. You knew that Caleb battled his own mind with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and trauma, especially trauma. So he'd, on instinct, just close himself up.

And though very alarming at first, you knew he’d come crawling back into your arms and tell you everything after a few hours, or usually up to a few days.Which then he’d reply to every singular message you texted him in an almost annoying way, but that was Caleb.

So where was your Caleb? 

Something wasn’t right, your heart fluttered, and desperate to wrap the mission up as quickly as possible, you returned a day and a half early back to Linkon where you didn’t miss a beat and immediately booked the skytrain to Skyhaven after quickly showering, changing into more suitable clothes instead of looking like you survived war. You didn’t need to pack much.

Literally just a small purse and a phone to spend preferably, no, actually three weeks. Because you were requesting some time out of office, with a sob story that you had priorities, Caleb.

Your heart ached every time you thought about his sad puppy eyes and if he had ears, deflating in desolation as you kissed him a long goodbye.

You couldn’t articulate why just two months away was so long, considering you’ve reunited after a whole year of grieving for his “death” but nevertheless, it seemed longer because it took a toll on him.The moment the train reached Skyhaven plaza, you bolted out, turned back around to retrieve your purse you accidentally left, and took anotyou slow transit bus to Caleb’s residence. And now you were there, hoping endlessly that there was a sign of him fine. You had to physically shake your head from those thoughts.From the doorframe, his penthouse looked messy. Boots looked like he just tossed them carelessly when they were usually aligned neatly on the shoe rack. Dirty dishes piled up in the sink and even the counter beside the sink and dust collecting everywhere. And the thought his you..

You rapped on the door softly, in the way you and Caleb always did since childhood to let each each other know that it was them. Long, short,short, long. Originally it was a whole ritual, but this was just the shortened version you shortened throughout the years.

There was still heavy breathing, almost as if the person behind was gasping for air.You push the door open, and let out a sharp exhale, the colour that was drained from your face slowly seeping back. Your clammy hands felt more relaxed. Caleb, but worry still wrote all over your face. You walk closer to the bed, and he’s tossing and turning, mumbling incoyouent things.

You kneel onto the bed, your weight slightly sinking the mattress. He was having a nightmare, wasn’t he? 

You’ve danced to this before, and you were basically a professional on how to handle Caleb. You stroke the back of his bedridden hair before your hand trying to nudge in the space between him sleeping on his front and the wrinkled sheets. Your hand could feel soft prickles all over the lower part of his face. 

He must’ve not looked at his face for quite a bit you thought, but you didn’t care how he looked at the moment. “Caleb..” you softly whisper out, and he tensed a little from your voice or his dream, you weren’t sure. He looked rough. Like he hasn’t been sleeping well in days. Part of you wanted to snuggle in with him and console him until it was all over, another part was screaming that you needed to wake him up.

 “Guess who’s ho-ome.” You softly sing out, not wanting to startle him, that could be the worst possible outcome for someone like him. His breath staggers a little in return before his eyes try to flutter open.

And when they did, his once bright violet eyes looked numb. Sad and soulless. Like his brain had been offline.

“Hey baby.”

You whisper down at him. He sits up, sort of robotically before he really wakes up, and when he does?

“Pipsqueak?” His hoarse voice rasps out, his eyes widening and his imaginary ears that drooped low the last time you “saw” them, perked up. Tears rimmed around the bottom of his eyes. You gently smile and hold his hand.

“Yeah, I’m here now.” And those tears threaten to spill out waterfall, as he immediately wraps his arms around you so quickly you almost fall back onto the sheets. You shakily chuckle as he sobs into the crook of your near, warm tears running down your collar bone. His stubble pricks a bit of your neck, but you couldn’t care less as you finally wrap your arms around his broad back as he shakes, your heartstrings threatening to just snap off from heartbreak.

“My pretty boy..” you trail. He doesn’t let go for a good three minutes, in fact, tightening his grip around you as if you’d disappear again before you feel his hands loosen and he collapses onto you, and the both of you fall back into the sheets. 

You giggled unsure how to react as you hold back tears of your own. And you get back up and notice how rough he looked. Apart from his puffy eyes, heavy eye bags drooped under his almost emotionless eyes that you shuddered seeing, and his stubble around him told you everything you needed to know.

He didn’t smell like his usual scent of sweet apples and a warm July evening. No, it seemed like he wasn’t able to physically shower.

He had an old faded DAA university hoodie that looked like that was the only thing he’s worn. And with dirty sweatpants. You tried being discreet as possible but Caleb noticed you eyeing him up and down and became very self-conscious. He awkwardly placed a hand at the back of his neck and looked around at the usually clean but now very messy room.“I..I found it hard to..” he was about to mumble, looking embarrassed but you cradle the right side of his cheek.

“I get it.” And that’s all you had to say before his glossy eyes almost took over as he tremoured to shakily explain himself.

“It was already hard enough ‘fore you left an’ then…then..I don’ know wha’ happened..” Your heart broke at the thought of him silently struggling alone.

“Why didn’t you text me back? I was worried sick.” You asked.

“Couldn’t bring myself to do it. Thought I was being clingy. What kind of boyfriend or man is so clingy, he.. he can’t live without his girlfriend..?”

“My Man.” You whisper.

He looks up to meet with your eyes.

“I couldn’t take it, what if you were..you were.. an’ if by texting you, I’d be more scared.. and..” “you were trying to protect yourself in a way.” You finished off for him, because even though he was jumbling his words, you could always understand him. 

He nods, defeat and past anxiety dancing in his eyes. You let out a breath and know what you have to do. “Come on, when’s the last time you took a shower?” And you lead him up, in which he sort of stumbles before using his evol to balance him out, which then makes you really wonder how long it’s been since he got out of bed. He is a little flustered, looks at the ground before murmuring.

“ ‘round a few weeks..” like he was waiting for you to judge him. But you didn’t. Didn’t even make a joke about how bad he smelt. You lead him to the bathroom and turn on the shower knob, not making it hot or cold, just warm in general. You have to physically drag him in, as he sort of follows you, a little clueless. You rub the palm of his hand and gesture to him to get in.

“Want me to stay or to leave?” You ask. “Stay.” He sniffles and you help him out of his clothes, quickly running to the washing machine to throw in (violently). You stay outside, holding a towel as you sit on top of the elongated bathroom marbles counter, smiling at him in which he’d return a weak smile back.

Once he finished up after gently reminding him time was up, you handed him the towel to cover himself and hold up a couple of hygiene supplies. You hold up a razor, your face wash and some of your skincare that you once jokingly(?) warned him to not use, though it was clear he didn’t heed your warnings and just replaced them before you came.

“I’m really getting spoiled today, huh?” He attempted a grin and you were happy just seeing a smile. Fake or not.“It’s part of the girlfriend care package?” You wink and smile. And a few moments later, you have him in between your legs dangling from the counter as you shaved the stubble off.

“You honestly look cute with it, but you also look like a sleep-deprived dad.” You joke, as with utter precision and care you avoid nicking him. “You really think I’m cute when I’m like this?” He slowly whispers. The dark blue razor is just upheld in your hand, in the air as you think about what to say. Because just complimenting him wasn’t…deep enough.

You looked back up at him and smiled as you carried on with the last part of his face.“Caleb, do you think I’m pretty?” You softly tease with the question hanging in the air. He looks up, almost surprised, voice raspy from days of silence. “Yeah,Of course.”You smile for a heartbeat really trying to keep it in but then your expression falters. He looks thinner, the edges of him dulled and you really notice how his eyes are red-rimmed and hollow. The air smells like dust and stale coffee.

“Then… why don’t you ever believe it when I tell you you’re handsome?”Caleb blinks, thrown. You lean in forward and cup his face in both hands. your thumb drags gently over the rough stubble along his jaw, the texture of raw neglect.

“You used to shave. Remember when we were kids? You used to smile like an idiot when I called you beautiful? Now you look at yourself like you’re something broken.”

Your boyfriend opens his mouth, but the words stick in his throat. You shake your head, eyes glistening.

“You are enough. You always have been. You’re my favorite face in the world. The way your eyes light up when you talk about childhood, Lego buildings, just teasing me, the way you laugh like it surprises you every time,God, I missed that. I missed you.”

your voice trembles and you press your forehead to his. “You don’t know what it did to me, seeing you like this. You’ve been torturing yourself, haven’t you? Thinking I wouldn’t come back, or that you weren’t worth waiting for.”

he doesn’t answer. His silence says everything. Your hands cup his cheeks tighter.

“Listen to me. You’re kind. You’re gentle. You love like it’s the only thing you know how to do. You take care of people even when you’re falling apart. You’re the best man I’ve ever known, and I hate that you can’t see that.”

your voice cracks, tears running freely now.

“So yeah, I’m pretty. But you—” your thumb traces his now cleanly shaven cheekbone, trembling “—you’re beautiful. Not because you look perfect, but because you love like this. Because you feel like this. Because you survived it.”

He finally exhales, a sound between a sob and a breath, and collapses into you. His hands clutch you like she’s the only thing keeping him from disappearing.

“I just thought…you… my pipsqueak would leave her Gege if you ever saw me like this.” He mumbles.

“Never, especially when you’re like this.” You whisper. “I stopped checking my phone. Every time it buzzed, I froze. If it wasn’t you, it just… hurt too much.”

You tilt his chin up until he meets your eyes. “I was gone, but I never left you. Not for a second. He gives a soft, broken laugh, forehead pressed to yours. “You’re the only thing that makes me feel real.” Caleb whispers.“This is all real, Caleb. Me sitting on your bathroom counter, coercing you into using my face scrubs, I’m here.”

You press a long, deliberate kiss to his cheek. It feels like time stood still as he leaned into your touch, exhaling as his arms rightfully found his way to your waist. You pull back, and he almost elicits a whine before you give him a watery smile, sniffle as you rub your nose and jump off the counter.

“I think it’s time to get you home-cooked food. Don’t pretend I didn’t see plastic plates and McDonald’s take out bags in the trash.” Your boyfriend smiles as you guide him back to bed, tucking him in with a fresh set of pajamas like a mother hen. You plant a kiss on his forehead, temple and lips after stroking his hair a little bit

. You hum a tune, a slow and sweet one. That one song you and him both discovered once upon a time of early dating. The memories of dancing together,barefoot with pajamas in the middle of the night as popcorn for midnight-munchies were being heated.

His eyes flutter shut, and you slip out after picking up a couple of clothes from the floor and sorted them either into the washing hamper, or back in his closet, neatly tucked and colour coded like he meticulously arranged them. Your work wasn’t done even if you just put your darling to sleep.

You were determined to wash all those dishes, piled after pile. And tackling the garbage from the bin and scattered all over the floor. And an hour of humming tunes where you swore you could hear Caleb very off-key harmonizing with you in the back of your mind, this apartment was clean.

Caleb was safe and clean. It would take him a large amount of time to slowly climb out of this slump, and you’d be sure to let him know that you were there with every little step of the way.

“Baby?” You hear his faint croak. You walk back to the bedroom, peeking your head from the doorframe. “Please..come here.” The bed feels different tonight.warmer, quieter, safer. The air still smells faintly of your shampoo, the one scent that hadn’t entirely disappeared from his sheets.

He lies on his side, back pressed against your chest, your arm wrapped snugly around his waist. His breathing is uneven, still learning how to slow down after two long, hollow months. You can feel the exhaustion in his body, the way his muscles tense even as he tries to rest.“I’m sorry,” he whispers into the dark.You blink, half-awake, your voice groggy but gentle.

“For what?”He hesitates, fingers twisting in the blanket like he needs something to hold onto. “For looking like this,” he finally murmurs. “For letting everything fall apart. I thought you’d come back, see me, see the place, and just… want to leave. I figured you’d want to do other things. Be with someone who didn’t—” He stops, voice breaking in the quiet. “—who didn’t fall apart so easily.”

Your heart cracks.

You tighten your arm around him, pulling him closer until your chest presses to his back and your lips are right by his ear. “Hey,” you whisper. “Look at me.”He hesitates, then rolls slightly, enough for his eyes to meet yours in the soft light seeping through the curtains. His face looks so tired,his cheeks a little sunken, his eyes rimmed with the kind of ache you can’t sleep off.“You think I came all this way to judge you for surviving?” you ask quietly. “You think I care about dishes or dust or any of that? 

You were alone, hurting, trying to hold yourself together when you thought I might never come back. Of course things fell apart. You were hurting.”

You reach up and brush your fingers through his messy hair, thumb resting at his temple. “I didn’t fall in love with you because you had it together all the time. I fell in love with you because of how you love,because even when you’re breaking into pieces, you still care.”

His breath stutters, eyes glistening as his chest rises and falls like he’s trying not to cry. You lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, then another to the corner of his mouth.“You didn’t scare me off,” you whisper.

“You make me want to stay.”That’s when he breaks. His shoulders shake as he turns in your arms, hiding his face against your collarbone. You hold him tighter, your fingers tracing circles across his back. His voice comes out small, muffled against your skin. “You don’t know how bad it got.”

You swallow hard, steadying your voice. “Then show me,” you say. “Let me see all of it. We’ll fix it together, okay?”He nods against you, trembling a little. You press your lips to his hair. “You don’t have to be perfect for me to love you,” you murmur.

“You just have to be here.”He exhales, slow and shaky, and the tension finally leaves his body. You keep tracing patterns along his arm, whispering into his hair, “We’ve got time now. No more counting days. No more empty bed. Just us.”

He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t need to.

You can feel it in the way he melts into you, the way his breathing evens out. For the first time in months, he drifts off in your arms,safe, quiet, and finally home.

the bride of the sea god didn’t require a kiss every time she submerged beneath the surface of the ocean, lungs accustomed to the viscosity of the water due to the bond.

rafayel still chose to seal his lips over yours when he invited you to a romantic swim date, sturdy hand gently dragging your body into the waves as he breathed life beneath your ribs with a kiss.

…so why were you like this?

why were you limp against the damp sand, eyes staring soullessly into his storming orbs as he pressed and pressed and pressed both his palms onto your chest, trying to resuscitate your dead body.

“my pearl, please…” he begged between harsh gasps of air, entire body quivering on top of yours as he pushed against your upper torso with all his might. “please, i can’t lose you again.”

heavy globs of tears traversed down his cheeks, looping over his trembling lips and dripping down to your paler skin. you were completely unresponsive, body spasming into the sand solely because of rafayel’s strength.

“i c–can’t– why?” he punctuated with a harsh intake of air, fastly filling his lungs and leaning down to kiss your lips.

to pass life, as he always did.

your chest puffed slightly from the air, but... that’s all it did. there was no movement, no reaction.

no sign of life in you.

“why, why, why, why?” at last, exhausted from the compressions, rafayel chanted like a mantra the question plaguing his mind.

guilt eating at his heart, whole being shaken by grief and terror, he toppled over your body and cried loudly into your cold shoulder.

you were dead and he would never know why.

you were dead and he would forever blame himself for it.

you were dead because you were not the sea god’s bride.

his kiss did bring you temporary life, but also eternal slumber.

©pearlescenthoney 2026. do not copy, translate, or claim any of my writings or works as your own.

With his birthday on the horizon, the two of you already have plans to spend the weekend together. Granted, of course. Though what the little birdie failed to tell, or rather did your best to hide, is that you’d kickstart those festivities a couple days early.

As far as you know, he’s still cooped up at the Fleet’s headquarters. Something oh-so-classified and terribly administrative paperwork-adjacent that you’re sure neither of you wanted more of. Caleb especially. He mourns over how he’d rather use this time to keep you company.

‘Be careful what you wish for’ sat pretty on your keyboard before you hit backspace. No, it would be too soon to cave in. So the encouragement of a Sunny Apple sticker and some fighting words are all you offer before the exchange comes to a standstill.

At best, you have at least the hour to yourself to get your affairs in order. Getting to Skyhaven in a timely manner is the least of your worries—this home isn’t that far, and a thumb pressed to the scanner welcomes you into his place with open arms. You make your way towards the stairs, already mapping out a game plan until he comes home. A shower to reset is a lovely start; ransacking his fridge for ingredients and taking to his kitchen is another unchecked box. It had been a while since you ate dinner together, and the taste of his mushroom stir-fry is one you’re more than excited to relive.

A hum subconsciously leaves you, pleased with the intentions yet to come. Another noise beyond yourself—a thud in great weight—seems to agree.

Odd. You should, by all accounts to your expense, be the only one here.

Your humming halts, as do your footsteps on the bottom treads. An apprehensive glance thrown behind you shows no trace of life from where you just were either. But the sound is unmistakable. By the next instance of it, you’re already on a turned heel to find the source.

Ultimately, it leads you to a solid wall. Air that once came to you in subconscious ease now lodges itself into your throat. You’ve been here before, and that alone was a tough pill to swallow. An unsettling feeling wells up in your heart at the memory, and only deepens when you remind yourself that he isn’t here. Shouldn’t be for a while longer, anyhow. So between you and whatever remains behind the wall is a more pressing concern. The chances of a Wanderer materializing are low, but never zero. Still, that possibility alone is enough to have you push the entryway open in hopes that you’re wrong.

Inside, the lights are as dim as you remembered. You squint, feeling around for a light switch with one hand and the other defensively at your front. By the time your fingers slide upwards and the room came to a gentle glow, your defenses drop alongside with your jaw. You don’t think anything could’ve prepared you for what the shadows revealed—namely, the figure of someone you confidently believed to be stuck at work. Crouching at the medical bed looking for something, no less.

Your unsure voice breaks the silence between you. “…Gege?”

Well, it looks like Caleb. His unmistakable shoulders and those brown layers at the nape are definitely him. But the long, spotted tail swishing from his lower back tells another story. Are you dreaming? The slight sting of nails digging into your palm says otherwise.

“You’re home,” Caleb says deliberately. He turns to meet your owlish gaze. As he stands, heads above you like always, there’s a familiar softness in his eyes when he fully takes you in.

Chin in hand, he tilts his head. A rounded ear at his temple twitches—part of a pair, you realize, patterned in the same fashion to that new tail of his. “Didn’t think my favorite kind of company would show up so soon,” he continues. “Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket with this kind of luck.”

“You can’t be serious,” you manage from a stunned stupor. Taking a step forward, you’re able to get a better view of these new features. Ones that are unmistakably attached to his body. “Caleb, what happened to you?”

“I…” He avoids your stare then, and both ears flatten themselves. Gone is the lightheartedness. “I don’t know. Not much, actually. The symptoms started when I returned from a routine patrol last night, and worsened into the morning.”

“What about the Fleet?” Surely, this couldn’t have gone under their radar. Another footstep plants you directly in front of him.

Caleb’s focus returns to you, his expression unreadable, though he doesn’t shy away from your approach. His jaw tenses before he nods. “They ran diagnostics at HQ, but it’ll take some time before results show anything meaningful. I’m still in one piece as far as they’re concerned.”

“…Right.”

That lingering feeling from earlier in your heart twists into something bitter. Perhaps a bit selfish, too. But the words come out regardless before you could stop them.

“And in that timeline, there isn't a pin kept in for telling your sister about this? I suppose her concerns don't exactly measure to the Fleet,” you sneer. Disdain for his higher-ups isn't exactly new territory, but it’s one you’ve always danced around. Something of a sore kept beneath a bandaid that’s only ever torn off in the worst-case scenarios.

“Hey now.” His brows draw together. “You know that’s not true.”

Of course you do. Still, the sentiment shapes into a blunt retort, despite the genuine concern you keep at bay. “Were you going to try and hide this from me? Get better on your own and act like nothing happened, even. Until I came home and on the off-chance, find you cooped up in here.”

A slight tremble to his lips parts them wordlessly, before they close and an exhale leaves him instead. Caleb lowers himself to sit on the edge of the bed. “I wasn’t… Well, okay, I thought I’d have more time to get things sorted. It’s not exactly your everyday run-of-the-mill kind of thing to talk about.”

“Oh, I didn’t know Colonel Xia demoted himself back to Captain Obvious.” Arms crossed over your chest, you frown. “We’ve been through stranger things. Those fluffy ears and tails of yours are entering the top five though. Three, if you include being hidden away in here.”

“Keeping track, are we?” Your eyes only narrow and he raises his hands in defense. “Okay, but I swear on my whole heart you were the first person I was going to tell.”

You raise a brow. “First?”

“And only,” he adds on. “When it comes to Caleb, you get first, hands-on exclusive access to everything that I am. You deserve that much at least.”

The high of your feelings begin to mellow out at his earnestness, and you sigh. At the end of the day, he’s here and that’s what really matters. You could figure out the rest, so long you’re at each other’s side. Caleb reaches for your elbows then, gently tugging them down. His left hand meets yours in a quiet acceptance, warm and dry. A thumb draws back and forth in an act of comfort over your skin.

“Sorry,” you murmur. “My assumptions got the better of me. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “you have a point. I know you’re worried. And we agreed to be more honest with each other. Besides I don’t think this room helps either,” he adds with a wry smile. “Dreary vibes and all that.”

“It could use an interior upgrade or two,” you agree. “Some more lights and a splash of color would definitely help.”

“Alright. We can add furniture shopping to a future date of ours. And you can have as much fun as you want playing designer again.”

“Promise?”

The corners of his mouth lift and his fluffy ears perk up. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” You squeeze his hand. Rather firmly, since he can feel this much. “Okay, okay. No dying.”

“Good—”

“—Yet.”

“God,” you groan, pretending to pull your hand away, “you’re awful!”

He’s quick to bring you back and press a kiss to your knuckles. There’s even little room to fully retract the second his cheek nuzzles your entwined fingers.

“Don’t go,” he purrs, deep from his chest. Your eyes widen. “You came early to keep me company, didn’t you?”

Right. The surprise. His birthday, for heaven’s sakes. These things nearly flew out the window and went back to Linkon without you—but in fairness, the present discovery took immediate precedence. Behind him, his tail turns upward, awaiting your next move.

“Maybe,” you say half-heartedly, distracted by the movement, “I could be convinced to stay if you let me, you know…” Trailing off, you could only swallow at the mere thought of what you're asking for. You tack on a small, “Please?”

“Go ahead,” Caleb confirms, implicit understanding drawing him closer. He rests his chin over your stomach and looks to you, eyes glimmering in mirth. “I won’t bite. Unless you want me to.”

“One step at a time, Gege,” you remind him.

His smile only grows. “Not a ‘no thank you, brother.’ Got it.”

You can’t hide your own grin, but play it off with a scoff. “Hush. I’m about to do a thorough investigation on our little leopard cub here. Cooperation would be greatly appreciated.”

“Yes ma’am,” he affirms. “I’m all yours.”

You bring your free hand to his temple. Starting slow, you’re careful to take one of the round ears between pinched fingers. Thick with fur, it’s a few shades lighter than his original hair and has a decent weight to it. One of your nails faintly swipes across the inner skin by accident, and the very ear twitches. Caleb huffs softly, angling himself to press his forehead instead.

“Did that hurt?” you ask, tentative to move. “I was being gentle, I swear.”

“Laugh now, because I know you will, but no,” he says against your torso. “It feels nice.”

You chew on your lip. In another time, you would’ve entertained that option. Yet, a fluttering takes hold of your heart instead, pleased to hear his satisfaction. It emboldens you to bury your fingers into his hair, and your breath quickens, stroking to this new level of contentment.

Just as you slow your paces and start to withdraw, Caleb lifts his head. His lowered lashes hide the previous light in his eyes, and they're rounded in something else entirely. He puffs out air from both his nose and lips. By looks alone, he could swallow you whole—and you’d absolutely let him.

A weight presses itself against you, found in his tail wrapping around your thigh. Another purr rumbles from him and you let out a soft gasp in turn. One tug is all it takes for you to fall into his embrace, torsos resting over one another. Caleb’s nose lingers at the place between your neck and shoulder. His half-promise to bite you resurfaces in your mind and you shiver, strongly aware of what this proximity offers.

“Caleb…” you sigh, a warmth blooming from your chest and curling your fingers into his hair once more. His teeth lightly nip your skin, quietly fulfilling the unspoken desire between your bodies.

Somehow, without his men knowing or Caleb's, for that matter, you suddenly appear in the Fleet's newly fortified base right after a particular report about Linkon University and a damaged faculty wing was submitted to his table. You're seething, as he predicted, behind a thinly veneer of nonchalance that they're all accustomed to now. At least from a distance.

But he still remembers how you could summon wave after waves of Wanderers with human-capable intelligence without a Metaflux.

You're the unknown variable that Caleb made the mistake of underestimating, and now, the sheer magnitude of his colossal fucked up is in front of him. Which is why, if he needs to get you to listen, he has to do it as carefully as walking through a minefield.

Navigate.

"I take it that Sylus told you about our deal?" Caleb begins smoothly. He does everything by the book to de-escalate the situation. He's still sitting at his desk, both hands on the table so you can see them. His guns were on the counter somewhere, with some measurable distance between them, so you'll know he's unarmed. The large window behind displays the open sky and drifting clouds, hoping they could lighten your heart. He also spared the courtesy of offering you refreshment because most likely, you'll throw it at his head.

"None of you were ever going to help me go home!" You scream, and all pretense of nonchalance disappears. Hurt and so, so much anger practically drips from your tongue. There's something primal about it, the urge to tear him and probably the others, too, in pieces is clear in your own eyes, and yet, Caleb faces you head-on. "Y'all had me 1-on-1 just so you can figure out how I tick! What part of I don't wanna be here anymore none of you get? I know every single one of you fuckers doesn't give a shit about me, so stop pretending that you do, but Infold writers would've never written any of you to treat a woman so cruelly just to make MC look good, so why are you doing this to me!? The GAME is broken to the point that all of you are semi-aware enough, right? Right!? So all of this is on you, not the GAME!"

The silence that descends feels like a familiar hammer, only this time, Caleb is alone.

Slowly, he pushes himself up and does something that had you utterly flabbergasted and beyond anything you could’ve imagined.

Colonel Caleb Xia, one of the most, if not the most, powerful public figureheads in the world, bows with arms firm at his side in a sincere form of military apology.

"I am sorry. I... from the bottom of my heart, I offer you my sincerest apologies for treating you like a criminal." Caleb's voice is rough. You hate how he actually sounds like he means it. "All I ever wanted was to protect her, and in doing so, I treated you despicably. You deserve the truth, and that is... I was, no, am still afraid." His fingers curl into fists, as if he's mustering the courage to push the words out. "One day you appeared out of nowhere. A woman who shouldn't exist. Someone so impossible who knew things she wasn't supposed to know. Someone who could change things simply by being here." He then slowly lifts his head to stare at you again. "And from the moment you came here, all you did was try to survive. I can barely imagine how that feels like; to wake up in a world you recognise but didn't belong to. Every face was familiar and yet completely different. You must've been terrified." The realisation seems to hurt Caleb and against your wishes... it does something in you. You hate that you can see the man before the explosion changed him. Oh, you know Caleb was always a possessive freak when it comes to MC, but he was vulnerable behind the walls he built to protect himself, and by right, he only showed that side of himself to her. So you have no idea how to react now.

But much to your chagrin, Caleb wasn’t done yet. Oh, God.

"And instead of helping you, I kidnapped and tried to interrogate you. You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. I know what you've lost."

"No, you don't." You interject waspishly, refusing to give him an inch. "What do you know of a healthy family? Josephine was a shitty excuse. I don't even wanna touch your whole deal with MC with a 10-foot poll."

Caleb's jaw ticked, and you would've grinned if you weren't so emotionally exhausted with everything.

"I know enough. You're far away from home and loved ones. Whatever future you've planned for yourself." He swallows. "And I'm sorry for every moment I made that burden heavier. I can't speak for the others but I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you."

"As if the others gave a shit! Pretending to actually—"

"Pretending? I've seen how Xavier's eyes find you even in a room full of people. He mentioned how you light up whenever there's a red bean bun. He loves that about you, the little things about you that he hoard like speckle of stars."

You turn away from him.

"Zayne keeps asking if you've been sleeping. He worries about your health more than his own. Did you know he's been researching patients with immunocompromised? He can't wait to share his progress with you. And Rafayel... he wants another chance. He thinks if he says the right words this time, you'll stop looking at him like he's already lost you."

That got your nose scrunched up and arms folded.

"And Sylus? We all can see how you have him in the palm of your hand. He's utterly fascinated. He sees a woman who keeps fighting, going so far as to defy our world. He admires that about you. And me?"

Caleb exhales once. Deep and heavy. "I envy you."

Your attention immediately snaps back at him. Say what!?

At your shock, a hollow smile adorned his handsome face.

"It infuriates me that... that you don't know how free you are. You move wherever you want. Say whatever you want. You're like a bird." Here, something wistful enters his expression. "You soar through the sky without asking for anyone's permission. You have to know that I've spent my entire life following orders. And somehow you became important to all of us." He then presses a hand on his chest, where the necklace you know is hidden. "You matter to her so naturally... you matter to us too."

The Colonel's office becomes so suffocatingly awkward that you just—

Then you started to laugh, a truly broken sound.

Caleb freezes.

"What does that matter? The GAME can erase me at any point now! I can die in a split second because I'm not supposed to be here, and all of you are too busy trying to play mind games on me, all because of your precious MC! So what exactly is all this love worth, hmm?" You sneer with shaking hands. "And by the way? Apology not accepted. Go kill yourself."

You could tell that your words hit him because Caleb had to stop himself from recoiling. For a moment, genuine pain flashes across his face.

Then something changes.

Something subtle.

Dangerous.

When he opens his eyes again, they are calm. Far too calm for your liking.

"You still don't get it."

"...Get what?"

"None of us chose this world. But you did. You downloaded the App."

A chill crawls up your spine. You... you didn't like the sudden shift of his tone.

With his gaze on you never wavering, you felt like a pinned butterfly underneath a microscope... or a magnifying glass on a hot day. "You chose to enter our lives. That's something none of us can do. Your existence isn't part of the GAME, which in theory, the rules don't own you because you're not MC or any of the side characters. You're a PLAYER... and your choice itself is power. If you stay—"

"Shut the fuck up."

"—you can become real here. You can become one of us."

"I don't want to fucking hear it!"

"If you choose to stay, we'll love you." His voice softens. "The GAME won't be able to delete you. We'll give you a home, a family and you'll never be alone again. All you have to do is choose."

"I don't want that! I want the life that I had! None of you could ever be my family! I want my parents, my siblings, and the friends I made from around the world. Even if my life isn't perfect and I hate my job, at least they belong to me! So no, Caleb. I won't ever choose this world because I will never want to. All of you need to accept that and let me go."

After your tirade and for the first time ever, Caleb looks tired. His shoulders sink with unseen weights.

Then he sighs. A sound heavy with regret. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this."

Communicate.

Alarm bells started screaming at you.

"Sylus and I made an agreement: He was supposed to convince you with music and the promise of a new family. It's kind of funny, but he was supposed to play the part of the good cop due to his sins against you is lighter than mine." Caleb's expression then hardens. "But you're still not listening."

Your eyes warily follow him as he walks toward a nearby table and reaches for a plain black case. An easy thing to overlook, so don't be too harsh on yourself. The heavy-duty locks on it click open.

"Understand that I never want to do this. If you would just give us a chance, then none of this would've been necessary. Once you've calmed down enough, I'll remove it. I promise."

Terror, unlike anything you've ever experienced, tears through your body as panic begins to make you short of breath because...

Because Caleb is holding up a chip.

He tries to swallow around the sandpaper in his throat, but he can barely move. He doesn't even know if he can open his eyes, settling instead for a half-assed groan.

Explosion, he thought, I had to escape...where?

"You're awake!" a voice cuts through the fog, "Caleb oh my god--".

Slowly the room comes into a sort of focus, and Caleb vaguely registers that he's in a medical facility of some kind. Not again. Before he can panic though, he turns to the sound of the voice and that's when he sees it.

There's an goddess sitting on his bed, holding his hand.

Caleb's heart starts to race, and the monitor next to him beeps angrily. There are purple shadows underneath her eyes from crying, was it something he did? and she's clearly exhausted, but there's no doubt about it. He had been sent a literal angel. Angels are real.

His jaw drops and he stares at her, mouth agape.

The angel looks at him, gaze searching his face, "Caleb are...are you alright? You probably don't remember but--".

Oh my god even her voice is perfect. Caleb thinks. Before he can stop himself, he blurts out-

" Who are you? Are you an angel?"

--

All around the room, jaws drop.

Your eyes widen in shock at Caleb's question. Zayne had warned you that he would likely be very disoriented when he woke up, and that his memories may not be fully intact after removing the Toring chip. You were prepared for that possibility when you signed his surgery waiver, after all, you were more concerned that Caleb was alive and free of the chip, even if it meant forgetting everything that you had built together.

But this wasn't what you were expecting.

Caleb continues to stare at you in wonder as he takes you in, purple eyes slowly going over your form, a look of naked innocent awe as he brings your hands to his cheek. Despite a lifetime together, you've never gotten used to the full intensity of his gaze.

"I must be dead..." he whispers, nuzzling your hand. "There's an angel here to take me away this time at least...right? That's what you're here for?"

Gideon leans forward, grinning, "Oh he's so high."

An emotion you can't name threatens to burst out of your chest.

His speech is slurred, but he continues to nuzzle into your hand, a dopey smile making its way across his lips. Suddenly he groans.

"Oh my god, you even smell good," Caleb declares, "You must be God's favorite. Seriously though, am I dead? If I'm not dead, why did they send a model to my room?"

Gideon starts laughing, "He's even more embarrassing stoned, holy shit".

--

Caleb didn't know that angels could blush. She's looking at him in shock, face warm, so lovely. So lovely, and she smells so good. In his delirium he can't place it, but he wants to live in the scent forever. If he's dead well, he better try to savor this feeling for as long as he can before it all turns to nothing.

She's trying to respond to him, but all she can manage is a very eloquent, "...What?" before turning to the door as a man with black hair steps in.

"You're not dead," this black haired man who looks like a doctor says, " She's your fiancee."

Caleb snorts in derision, "There's no fucking way. Me? Engaged to her? I'm dead and my head hurts, but I'm not stupid."

The doctor, Zayne or whatever based on his name tag, flips through a chart before turning to address her. "We don't know the full extent of his memory loss yet, but his physical signs are trending in the right direction. This is good."

He turns back to Caleb with a sigh, "I swear on my medical license. She's your fiancee. You're also not dead. Now can you sit up? I just need to run some assessments,"

-

Caleb looks at you, fingers tightening around your hand. "It's not funny to lie to someone," he insists. "Angel, are you both making fun of me?".

With some effort, you help Caleb move to a sitting position. He starts a little at the feeling of your hand on his bare back, and you can see his cheeks and ears flush red.

The entire time that Zayne runs his tests, Caleb stares you with a mixture of joy and disbelief. His mouth seems to be on autopilot, unfiltered sentences praising your looks, your voice, the clothes you're wearing, the entire time mumbling about how lucky he was. He's overjoyed when you slip his dogtags back on him, marveling out loud at how of course you picked the perfect gift for him. He listens with rapt attention as you describe your shared apartment, his proposal, the past few years. When you scroll to the engagement photos on your phone, his eyes well up.

"There's just no way. How did I get so lucky? My fiancee is you? You're perfect."

It's all a little bit much, and you giggle. You're not sure how it's possible, but Caleb smiles even harder upon hearing you. "You think I'm perfect?" you ask. "Really?"

With great effort, Caleb sits up straighter, " I know you're perfect. God you're so-- you're so-- really??? I'm going to be your husband?". Out of the corner of your eye, you see Zayne roll his eyes. Caleb had always been forthcoming with complimenting and praising you, but this was on a whole other level.

You clasp both of his hands in yours. "Look, here's the ring." It's a beautiful band, with stones that you had picked together. He had confessed afterwards that he had purchased the centerpiece with the first few paychecks he got from the DAA, and had been holding onto it ever since. "I'm your fiancee Caleb, I've been waiting for you to wake up from your operation."

Suddenly, he scowls, "I made you wait? God, I'm sorry I should've---" his voice falters as he suddenly looks at your lips, "You're-- can we...kiss? I can kiss my wife right? Can I kiss you?"

Wife.

You laugh, "We can kiss as much as you want", you say as you gently hold his face and press your lips to his.

Just like your first kiss, he stares at you after you pull away, his eyes filled with adoration. It reminds you of how the Caleb is when it's just the two of you, open, honest, exuberant, as warm as a beautiful summer day.

"Holy shit" he whispered, "We're gonna ...I'm not dreaming. You're real."

His exhaustion catches up to him, and he sinks back into the pillows. "Do I....have I treated you right?"

Your heart catches at the question. Despite his addled state, you can hear a trace of fear creep into his voice. The guilt and self-hatred omnipresent in his mind. Softened now, but forever there. His ever present concern for you, despite the state he was in, brings tears to your eyes.

"You're actually a stupid jerk sometimes, but you do," you say, "I love you so much."

His eyes start to flutter close, "Oh good...I have to...keep doing that. I gotta be with you forever."

You lean to kiss his forehead, "I need you forever too. Please stay by my side."

-

"Who are you? Are you an angel?"

Caleb groans as the crowd turns to the screen. Gideon promised a surprise was involved in his best man speech and could he pretty please use a projector too? Unbeknownst to Caleb, Gideon had managed to record the entire episode, and now he's playing it at max volume at your wedding.

"I'm dead and my head hurts, but I'm not stupid."

You turn to him, beaming, " You know I'm going to use this against you for the rest of our lives right?"

He scoffs in mock outrage, "As if you didn't already have enough ammo against me,"

The ammunition is my heart, my soul, it was promised to you since we met.

"I've always made it clear that I love you."

"Yeah but you think I'm an angel, literally sent from the heavens."

Caleb presses a kiss to your forehead, "That's what I thought since the moment we were kids, when we first met. Now I'm the lucky man with an angel for a wife."

When we first met in that sterile room, I knew my destiny was always going to be intertwined with you, is what he doesn't say out loud.

But it's always been obvious hasn't it?

a/n: This was originally way angstier at first but I scrapped all the backstory (it involved a ship exploding and like end-of-life flashbacks). Slinking back to my cave to write Xavier/MC/Caleb next I think. Reblogs and comments and likes are always appreciated!